


Book Covers

by turntechGeneticist717



Series: Covers [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: All the cliches and tropes ;), Bro and Dirk are different people, College AU, Court hearings, Custody Battle, Dirk is a preschooler, Fluff and Angst, Gaurdian Dave, Happy Ending, Homophobic Language, Humanstuck, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mentions of Chid abuse/neglect, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Sexuality Crisis, Sibling Death (minor), Slow Burn, Swearing, Underage Drinking, slow burn hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2018-12-23 16:31:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 136,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11993631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turntechGeneticist717/pseuds/turntechGeneticist717
Summary: Karkat has had a shitty life and has had to bust his ass for everything he has. He has no patience for spoiled, delusional, lazy people and this is exactly what he thinks Dave Strider is. They get paired up together for a project in their college English class and when Karkat accidently learns that Dave is fighting to keep custody of his younger brother Dirk, he learns that he may have been completely wrong about Dave and shouldn't have judged a book by it's cover. A story of two damaged boys coming to each others rescue and growing as people. <3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so this is the first fic I've ever written but I've had the story in my head forever and finally decided to write it down. I have the whole thing mapped out, so hopefully I'll be able to update regularly. I'm a sucker for Dave and Dirk being amazing guardians to each other and Dave is Dirk's guardian in this. I also want to include certain phrases and situations from the actual comic, so you might catch some of those throughout. I'm aiming for Karkat and Dave to work through some of their issues in the same way I picture them doing it on the meteor...
> 
> *** [nomisupernova](http://nomisupernova.tumblr.com/) is now editing this with me and they are super amazing and they also create some hella rad art and fics themselves so make sure to check them out and send them some thanks ;) ***
> 
> *edited 3/19/18

Your name is Karkat Vantas. It’s your second week as a freshman in college and you're already fed up with the bullshit. Not from your teachers or the classes or the workload, or anything like that.

No, that you're used too. You've been busting your ass in school long enough that all of it just comes as second nature to you now.

No, what you’re fed up with is the lazy, insolent fucktards who have so obviously never had to work hard towards anything in their pathetic, pampered fucking lives. It's almost too easy to pick out the students whose mommies and daddies are paying for their way through college. There's just this... air about them. Like college is just some fucking joke, some place for them to party.

Like they could care less whether or not they pass because they're already fucking set in life. And as someone who has had to bite and claw your way through life just to have _anything_ , it literally makes you see red.

But thankfully, a good portion of the students aren't like that. No, surprisingly enough you've met a handful of halfway decent people so far. There's one girl that’s pretty okay named Nepeta, she’s in your English and Math classes. She's so overly sweet and enthusiastic that you can't help it but find her endearing.

You've also met a girl in your psychology class named Kanaya that you instantly clicked with and you're fairly certain you'll be friends with her for life now. The best part of college _(even though you bitch and moan that it's the worst)_ is that your two best friends, Terezi and Sollux, are attending the same school as you. As much as you swear that they purposefully try to piss you off, you honestly don't know what you'd do without them.

So far English is your favorite class by a landslide. Not _just_ because its hands down your best subject but because Nepeta and Terezi are also in the same class as you. Your professor, Ms. Williams, also seems like she might know what she's talking about, unlike most of your ignorant, asshole teachers back in high school.

But then, as per your usual shitty fucking luck, there's a black fucking tarnish put on your favorite class and it's name is Dave. Fucking. Strider.

He walked in for the first time midway through your first week of class, fifteen minutes late, which was, in your book, already a strike against him. Adding to your instant dislike of him was his douchey pair of aviator shades that he left on the entire class. Like seriously who does that? Definitely Strike number two for that _hipster douche_.

Strike Number Three came when Ms. Williams called him out on his tardiness and instead of being contrite _(as he rightfully fucking should be)_ , he just made a smart ass reply in the most deadpan voice you'd ever heard. To help drive your insta-hate home, Nepeta and Terezi had both giggled at his comment and even your professor, instead of calling him out on his obvious bullshit, just smirked and told him to take his seat. You were so pissed you snapped your pencil in half.

Strider was literally the embodiment of the type of person you hate. With his stupid fucking cool kid attitude and lame ass shades _(that you wished you could smack off his smug ass face)_ it seemed like life was just some ironic joke to him. You would bet any amount money that he never had to work hard for anything in his entire sorry-ass fucking life. To you, he was just a poser. A shallow, empty dick-face who had no fucking concept to what real life was actually about.

You try not to focus on him, try not to let him ruin your favorite class but every time he walks in late or continually taps out an annoying fucking beat on his desk during class or fucking mumbles to himself incessantly without consequence, you feel the hate bubble up inside you.  Every time Nep’ or ‘Rezi giggle at his jokes or refer to him as " _cool kid_ " you can just _feel_ your rage threatening to boil over. So, of course, when your professor announces that there will be a group project, whatever gods are out there keep up with their usual motive of making your life as miserable as possible and you find yourself paired up with none other than Dave. Fucking. Strider. himself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mainly just setting the scene for the main plot of my story. Also, even though this is a college AU, it's really only the setting for where they meet, so I'm keeping the details of the classes and projects pretty vague cuz I don't feel like it would really add anything to the story.
> 
> Again, nomisupernova is helping to edit this now but the same still goes about pointing out any mistakes if you come across them =)
> 
> *edited 3/19/18

"Alright class, so I like to do at least one group project per semester," Ms. Williams states as the class begins to groan in response. 

"I know, I know," she continues, "but you'll have to work with people for the rest of your lives so it never hurts to practice. I also understand how difficult it would be to schedule time to work together outside of our class, so this will be an in-class project that you will work on with your partner several days a week for the next four weeks, at which time we will begin the presentations of your projects." 

Another groan erupts from the class at this point, but she continues. 

"I would, however, recommend exchanging phone numbers with your partner in case you have any questions that you need to go over together or, in the rare event, you actually meet up after class hours." 

As your professor continues to explain what the project is, you absentmindedly jot down some notes and consider who you’re going to partner up with. Ms. Williams said that you would be in pairs, so you guess that unfortunately Terezi, Nepeta, and you can't be in the same group. That might make things a little awkward. 

You and Terezi have been best friends basically forever, so it feels natural that you two would pair up but... you also don't like the thought of Nepeta being left out by default. Terezi is pretty outgoing though, so she might not mind pairing up with someone she doesn't know and you and Nepeta could partner up. Maybe you should just bite the bullet and let the two girls pair up instead? 

As your thinking this, Ms. WIlliams completely derails your train of thought by announcing that she will be assigning partners. God fucking dammit! 

You feel yourself tense up instantly. You've never had good luck when it comes to assigned groups. You usually end up with dumb as fuck douche bags and get stuck doing all of the work by yourself. You grip your desk, knuckles turning white, as Ms. Williams begins to read out names. 

"Greg Parsons and Vanessa Valdez..... Khanas Haddad and Kyle Andrews... Terezi Pyrope and Nepeta Leijon..." Those lucky bitches! You shoot them a glare as they high five each other. 

".... Karkat Vantas and Dave Strider..." Your stomach drops and you feel nauseous. Of fucking course you got paired up with that… that ass monkey. You’re so pissed that you’re shaking with rage. You should have expected this! 

You take deep breaths, trying to get your rage under control as Ms. Williams finishes up assigning partners and tells the class to break up into their pairs. You stare straight forward, focusing on your breathing. You can see Strider gather up his stuff and make his way over to you. As soon as he gets to your desk he opens his pompous fucking mouth.

"Hey man, ‘sup?" he starts in his stupid deadpan voice,"You're Karkat right? I'm Dave, if you hadn't guessed yet... Soooo... I guess were supposed to be partners for this thing, huh? ‘Bout to be like Holmes and Watson up in this bitch. Mulder and Scully... Scooby-Doo and Shaggy… Mario and Luigi. On this mystical quest to unearth all of life's mysteries or save the princess or whatever but really our quest is just this boring as fuck project and..."

You have yet to respond or react to him at all and you think you're making him nervous because he continues on with his inane rambling. You were honestly trying to get a grip on yourself so you could answer him in a semi-decent manner and try to just get through this project as peacefully as possible. 

He won't shut the fuck up though and instead of calming down, you're getting more and more pissed by the second. Finally, fed up with his babbling, you slam your fist onto your desk, startling Dave into silence, and you respond.

"Listen up, you absolute, bulge-chafing idiot! I don't fucking like you and I'm sure as fuck that, if you don't already, you won't fucking like me either. I'm sure whatever gods are up there are having a great fucking laugh at my expense right now, considering I would rather gouge my damn eyes out than have you as a partner. So let’s just cut the bullshit, accept that we don't like one another, and just get through this brain melting, stupid as fuck project with as little interaction and talking to one another as possible, okay?”

Dave just stares at you a moment, face as impassive as ever, before he responds.

"I don't know man, this sounds like a classic case of the 'lady doth protest too much.' Which seriously Karkat, I can't blame you. Strider's are pretty much known for our irresistible charm. And truly, I'm flattered but I ain't gay, dude." 

Your mouth hangs open in shock and you feel your face start to heat up. Not from embarrassment but from pure, unadulterated rage. You cannot believe the nerve of this fuck and you just ache to put him in his place. Without even thinking about it, you slam your textbook onto your desk as you stand up, ready to deliver Strider a full on classic Karkat rant. You're only pulled back into focus by the voice of your teacher.

"Everything alright over there you two?" she asks from the front of the room. 

You're suddenly very aware that the entire class has gone silent and everyone has their eyes on you and Strider. You also see Nepeta staring at you wide-eyed and Terezi, used to your rants, grinning at you with a knowing look. Shit.

"I..." you take a deep breath and start again, "Yeah, we're… we’re fine, Ms. Williams. There was just an obnoxious bug on my desk that I was trying to squash." You glare daggers at Strider hoping he catches your double meaning.

"Okay, well... if the outbursts are over then, please get back to work gentlemen."

You sit back down at your desk as Strider slides into the empty desk in front of you. 

"Dude! That was fucking magical," he says as he turns around to face you.

"Fuck you," you retort, now consciously trying to keep your voice down and your rage in check.

"Man, I thought we already established that ain't gonna happen. Not into dudes, sorry." 

"You are such a complete, insufferable fucking prick Strider. Can you please just shut the fuck up for five fucking minutes so we can start on this stupid fucking assignment? The sooner we get this done, the less time we have to spend in each others fucking company." 

To your surprise, Dave doesn't counter you with another snarky reply and instead turns around and grabs the page of notes he took on the project. The two of you begin to discuss the assignment, choose your subject, delegate out who will be in charge of what and exchange phone numbers, just in case. Shockingly, Strider doesn’t seem to be a complete blithering idiot. He actually seems pretty smart, if you're being honest. What does surprise you most though is that Dave actually takes his fair share of the work. 

You're quietly contemplative as class comes to an end. Dave gets up to leave and gives you a half-hearted wave. You reciprocate with one of your best glares, gather your stuff, and wait for Terezi and Nepeta at the door. Terezi starts in on you almost immediately.

"Gee, that was quite the display you put on there Karkat! Are you perhaps not pleased with your cool kid partner?" she asks with fake sweetness dripping from her voice.

"Fuck off Terezi! You know as well as anyone that I have absolutely zero patience for privileged douchebags. Let alone idiot fucking hipster ones that wear stupid fucking shades!"

"Maybe it won't be so bad Karkat, Dave seems like he's actually pretty nice the few times I've talked to him." Nepeta chimes in, earning a glare from you.

Terezi takes her opportunity to get another dig in. "Yeah I'm sure it's going to be a blast. Maybe not for Karkat and Dave but for us and the rest of the class, who will have a front row seat to some more of Karkat's absolutely hilarious rage-tantrums." 

"Fuck you both sideways. I'm so glad that, as per-fucking-usual, my misery brings you a good laugh Terezi. We don't all get lucky enough to be paired up with someone at least half way bearable, let alone one of our friends! And I am so sorry to put a damper on your entertainment but I'm actually going to try be a fucking adult here and just get through this project with Strider sans any outbursts or so called ‘tantrums’. Past high school Karkat may have been a ranting, screeching, and childish loser but I'd like to at least try to be a little more mature now that we're in college, fuck you very much."

"Ha! Good luck with that one Karkles! It seems like it's already going swimmingly for you. We'll see you at lunch, Mr. Mature!" Terezi flashes you her best shitting eating grin and Nepeta gives you a sympathetic smile before they walk off to their next class. 

You stand there for a moment, glaring at their retreating backs. You're determined to prove Terezi wrong.

\-----

Keeping with your mission to prove your best friend wrong, the next few weeks go by without any major incidents between you and Dave, surprisingly enough. You still dread the last half of your English class, when your professor inevitably tells you all to get into your groups because despite not having any major outbursts, Strider still manages to piss you off on a daily basis. He has the rare ability to go on tangents that are just as long as your own, quite possibly even longer, and you spend most of your class time arguing back and forth. 

"God dammit! Strider, can you stop spewing bullshit from your mouth and get to the fucking point!?"

"Dude, I literally would have already been to my point if you hadn't interrupted me. I was getting to the point like I was a heat seeking missile and the point was the hottest thing around. And I know what you're thinking Karkat, 'If your point was the hottest thing around then it must have been you Dave, you were the point!' and you wouldn't be wrong, I am pretty fucking hot. Thank you for noticing my good looks like any sensible person should. But, damn Karkat, seriously man you gotta stop coming onto me so strong, I don’t know how many times I gotta tell you I just don’t swing that way..."

"Dave!" you interrupt him. " As much as I soooo thoroughly enjoy you telling me how much I, and everyone else, wants your dick, could you just, please, fucking get to the point? Class is almost over you narcissistic self-centered asshole."

"Oh, right. So... I found an article that I think explains the major point we’re trying to make for our essay and I wanted to show you and see what you think about it. Hold on a sec, I printed you a copy." 

Dave reaches down and begins to unzip his backpack. As he does so, you notice a plush toy horse fall out of it and onto the floor. Dave snatches it back up quickly and you hear him mumble 'fuck' as he frowns towards the door. He pulls out a paper and hands it to you and begins to talk again.

"Yea, so... uh, here's that article I was talking about. If you wanna go ahead and read it tonight,we can talk about it tomorrow. Uh, I know we gotta few more minutes of class but I'm gonna to head out. Gotta try to beat the horde of fans that wait for me to get outta here, ya know? You're not the only one who finds me irresistible Karkat. So... I'll see ya tomorrow bro..."

He awkwardly mumbles all of this at you as he hurriedly packs all of his stuff into his bag and starts backing up towards the exit. You don't say anything and just watch him go because honestly you don't even want to begin to guess what kinda creepy, Deadpool type of shit he's doing with that stuffed horse. 

You tuck the article into your binder and make a mental note to read it during your lunch. You hope that its self-explanatory because it's Friday and this was your last day to work on your projects during class. Presentations will begin on the upcoming Monday. 

\-----

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you're staring at your phone and really regretting being such a long winded asshole. If you could just shut up once in awhile you could have finished your English project in class but noooooo. You read the article Dave gave you and it was actually really informative but it brought up some points that you really need to discuss with Dave in order to finish your project. So, now you're left with no other option but to text him and see if you two can meet up this weekend. You really, really hate your life right now. 

After spending your lunch trying to think up anyway to get out of seeing your least favorite person outside of class, you finally sigh in defeat and send a text to Dave.

HEY FUCKER, OUR ASSIGNMENT IS DUE ON MONDAY AND AS MUCH AS IT PHYSICALLY PAINS ME THAT I HAVE TO SEE YOUR DISGUSTING FACE OUTSIDE OF CLASS, WE SHOULD PROBABLY MEET TO GO OVER THAT ARTICLE YOU GAVE ME AND FINISH THIS PROJECT FROM HELL. ARE YOU FREE AT ALL THIS WEEKEND?  


He takes over an hour to respond to you and you spend that time getting more and more pissed off at him. He does eventually respond although his stupid reply only adds to your frustration.

oh karkat you always say the sweetest things  


can you meet me tonight at 7:30 at the burger place on 12th and noir street  


THAT’S FINE I GUESS… I’D RATHER GET THIS FUCKING SHIT OVER WITH ANYWAY.  


swooooonnnn  


God, he pisses you the fuck off.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *edited 3/19/18

You show up to meet Dave at 7:20 that night, because hey, you may be an asshole but at least you're a punctual one. As you're walking up to the restaurant you can see Dave through the window standing with two other people, a man and a woman in a suit. You notice several things right away. 

First, that Dave is in uniform, which means that he must work at this shithole and holy fuck does that give you pause for consideration. You had pictured him as never having worked anywhere, let alone at a shitty fast food place. 

Next, you notice that the man standing with him is also in uniform, so you're guessing that he's Dave's manager. 

You also take note that none of the three look happy, Dave looks downright upset, and you wonder if maybe he's getting in trouble for something. You're pretty shocked to see Dave without his sunglasses and also by how easy he is to read without them on. You pause outside of the entrance and wonder if maybe you should wait to go in until their... meeting(?)... is over. It is dark outside though and you don't want to just loiter around the parking lot like an asshole, so you decide to slip quietly inside and wait in a booth until they're done. 

None of them notice when you come in and, although you're not trying too, you can overhear their conversation. The woman is currently the one speaking.

"Dave, I'm really sorry. You're obviously a very unique circumstance and we've done our best with getting you temporary custody of Dirk but a fast food booth, late at night no less, is definitely not the best environment for a four year old." 

"Fuck, I know. I'm really trying, it's just been impossible trying to find someone who can consistently watch him and that I can afford and my manager said it would be okay if I bring him...."

The man who is obviously Dave's manager interrupts him at this point, "Dave, I know I said that it wouldn't be a problem, but I really thought this would only be a once or twice kind of thing. You're a great employee and Dirk is surprisingly well-behaved but you're obviously distracted when he's here. I have to agree with your case worker that this just isn’t a good environment for him."

At this point, the woman reaches out and puts her hand on Dave's shoulder. You notice that he slightly flinches but he doesn't pull away, he just turns his head and stares sadly at a booth in the back of the restaurant. You follow his eyes to see a young kid sitting there, quietly coloring, and he looks so much like Dave that, even if he wasn't wearing obnoxious anime-sunglasses while inside, you'd still guess that he was related to Strider. The woman in the suit continues talking.

"Dave, there is no question about how much you love your little brother and while this is obviously a better situation than the one you two were in before, this is just not an optimal situation for Dirk. You're just a young man yourself and all of this would be a lot for anyone, at any age, to handle. No one blames you for anything, or thinks any less of you, but until you're able to prove that you have reliable childcare... I'm going to have to recommend that Dirk be placed into temporary foster care."

Dave snaps his head over to look at her, pain is written clearly across his face without his glasses to block the view.

"A home with complete fuckin’ strangers is optimal?! You know as well as I do that Dirk is a special kid and no one knows or understands him like me!"

"I am sorry, Dave," the case worker tells him with finality.

Dave looks like he's trying not to cry at this point and his voice breaks as he asks if manager if he can take his break now. The manager nods his agreement and Dave goes and scoops up the kid from the back booth and heads out of the side exit.

The social worker apologizes to the manager for interrupting them at work and shakes his hand as she says good night to him. Then she starts walking toward the door that you came in from.

You've been biting your lip this whole time and as she's leaving you make a split second decision that you hope you won't regret. You quickly stand and call out to the social worker as she passes you.

"Um ma'am? I'm sorry to bother you and I didn't want to interrupt but I think there was a misunderstanding. Dave hired me to babysit his brother Dirk."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really enjoying writing this so far and kudos and comments are super motivating lol . Just a heads up, I plan on taking some liberties with familial relations in this story, so some won't match up with canon. Example, I might make Dirk and Roxy half siblings..
> 
> *edited 3/19/18

The case worker turns around and stares at you scrutinizingly. You start to shift nervously when she finally speaks.

"I'm sorry young man but if that's the case then why didn't Dave mention you and why weren't you here to watch Dirk this evening?"

You think quickly, forming your story as it falls from your mouth.

"I know it looks bad but it was a complete misunderstanding on my part and I assure you that it won't happen again. Dave and I had discussed me watching Dirk during one of our classes and when he asked me to meet him here tonight I thought he had meant we would just be going over more details but I completely see where I messed up in thinking that now. Dave must have thought I flaked out on him and Dirk and that must be why he didn't mention me to you and again I'm really sorry about that."

The case worker is still squinting at you and you can tell she's unconvinced, so you continue talking before she can interrupt you.

"My name is Karkat by the way. Karkat Vantas," you reach out to shake her hand and she begrudgingly reciprocates. 

"I can tell you're probably questioning Dave's judgment in hiring a fellow, full time college student, a male one at that, but if you let me explain I think you'll agree that I'm a unique case."

She nods and tells you to go on, so you do.

"Um, yea soooo, to make a long story short, I was in and out of foster care myself for a good portion of my childhood, until I hit my teen years anyways and I was able to start taking care of myself. Anyways, around that time I also began watching younger kids around the neighborhood who were in similar situations as me. I guess having shitty parents made me empathetic or whatever," you scowl but continue on, "I also started babysitting kids from more... "normal" families I guess you could say. It helped give me money to survive and if I had food and decent clothes, I didn't attract the attention of CPS or anything. My point with all this though is that I have a lot of experience with kids, I'm very responsible, and although I don't have it with me right now, I can give you a list of reputable references from the parents of those kids that I used to babysit."

You're starting to get nervous and you hear yourself rambling. God damn, Dave must be wearing off on you or something. You've never really had to tell this story to anyone though, let alone while trying (and probably failing) to come across as professional. You try to power through though because this is your one chance to help Dave out and you're determined not to fuck this up.

"I-I'm sure you're still wondering how a full time student will have time to watch Dirk but I actually live with one of my former foster mothers, Ms. Harley. I lived with her for a while when I was younger but she was from my neighborhood and I stayed in contact with her and spent most of my time at her place growing up. She's been more of a mother to me than my biological mom could ever even dream of being. She pushed me to do my best all through high school, and still does actually. With her help and support, I was able to get a full scholarship to the university. She even moved here with me so I would have a place to stay and not have to worry about having to pay rent anywhere. So um... yea..., she's pretty amazing and she'll be there to help me watch Dirk, so he'll be extremely well cared for and my class work won't affect his schedule.. I can also give you her info if you would like to contact her or pull up any of her files from her years of doing foster care. I'm sure she also wouldn't mind submitting a list of references too you if you want.... Um... so... yeah. That… uh, that’s it, I guess."

The case worker just stands there staring at your for several long moments. At this point you're sure that, in usual Karkat fashion, you completely fucked this up and probably just made it even worse for Dave and his little brother. Then you see the case worker smile and she begins to speak.

"My name is Ms. Rollins but you can call me Andrea, if you prefer. I'm going to be honest here Karkat, I am extremely relieved right now. Dave and Dirk are very special to me as well as everyone in our office. We’re all rooting for everything turn out for the best for them because Lord knows they deserve it. I'm going to be checking into everything you said though and," she pulls out a card from her purse and hands it to you, "I would appreciate it if you could email me the references for both you and Ms. Harley, as well as all of her contact info, by Monday morning. I do have to be going though, so can I assume that you will let Dave know that you spoke with me and, if you don’t mind, letting him know that I will be calling him in the morning?"

You nod your head in agreement and thank her profusely as she proceeds to leave. You slump back down into the seat, trying to process what the fuck you just got yourself into. Fuck. You barely even know Dave, let alone like him and you have no idea how he's going to react to you interfering in his life like this! You also just volunteered Ms. Harley to be your co-babysitter without even asking her. At least you know that she probably won't be too upset with you. Honestly, she'll probably be pretty excited. That is, if Dave even agrees to this fucking shit in the first place. 

Fuck. You’re shaking but this is one of the rare times it's not from anger, but from honest to God anxiety. You try to gather your courage since you figure that Dave's break is almost over and you need to hurry the fuck up and deal with this fine mess you’ve made. You take two deep breaths and head toward the same side exit that Dave disappeared through about ten minutes ago.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *edited 3/19/18

As you walk outside into the cool night air, you scan the parking lot, looking for Dave. You don't spot him right away but finally you see him sitting down, cross-legged with his back against the side of the building. Dirk is sitting in his lap and Dave is clutching him tightly in a hug, rocking him slowly back and forth. You hesitate a few moments, unsure if interrupting them is a good idea, before starting towards them. 

You come to a stop once you're a few feet in front of them and you gently clear your throat but Dave apparently doesn't notice you yet or is purposefully ignoring you. You decide to try actual words this time.

"Um, Dave?"

Dave jumps, clearly startled at your words so you guess he wasn't just ignoring you then.

"Karkat? Fuck! Shit... dude, I’m sorry. I completely forgot you were coming tonight and...."

He frowns and abruptly stops talking. You see him compose himself and fall back into his “I’m too cool for this shit” act. He looks down at Dirk, giving him a faint smile and slips his sunglasses back on from where they had been hanging around his shirt collar before he starts to speak to you again.

"I mean… yeah, I meant to text you bro but shit came up, I'm a pretty busy guy after all, everyone wants a piece of Strider. Anyway man, you're gonna have to finish up that project on your own. That lame ass class ain't really rocking my world here or upending any paradigms or whatever. College in general just really ain't my cup of apple juice, got way better shit I can spend my time on, y’know? So yeah dude, this will probably be the last time you're forced to talked to me, which I'm sure your thrilled about. Like a kid on Christmas morning, Santa came early this year for you Karkat. I mean unless you get a hankering for some disgusting ass hamburgers or some nasty fucking-"

"DAVE!!!" you interrupt him at this point, knowing he can go on for fucking ever with his goddamn speeches. It works and he shuts up and looks up at you. You decide not to beat around the bush and just jump off of the cliff head first.

"I talked to your case worker, Mrs. Rollins."

You can see Strider visibly tense up and he eloquently responds to you, confusion clearly laced in his voice.

"Dude. What?"

"Um, I talked to your case worker. I came in a little early for our meet up and I kind of accidentally overheard you talking with her and your manager," You're sure you look guilty as fuck right now but you keep going. " You might be pissed as fuck at me about this but it was a split second decision and I wasn't really thinking clearly. Um, so I kinda lied to her and said that you had hired me too watch your little brother for you and that I didn't show up to watch him tonight because I had misunderstood when you asked me about it. But I think she bought it because she asked me to send her my references by Monday and to let you know that I talked to her and that she'd call you tomorrow."

"Well gee Karkat, that sure is swell of you, buddy," Dave starts, and fuck is his voice heavy with sarcasm,"but I don't know what the fuck you expect me to tell her when tomorrow rolls around and I still don't have a real babysitter for my bro. This isn't some fuckin’ fantasyland, English assignment where you can make up whatever the fuck storyline you want, dude! This is real fuckin’ life. My real fuckin’ life! My fuckin, shitty ass real life, Karkat!"

"Dave, no. Shit, no. I know I interfered and lied on your behalf and I am sorry for that but I'm not just leaving you fucked over. I'm legitimately offering to watch Dirk for you on the days that you have to work."

You see him clutch Dirk a little tighter and you can tell you've surprised him because for once he has nothing to say. You're not sure if that's a good or bad thing so you decide to keep on explaining.

"Uh, so I guess I'll tell you pretty much what I told Mrs. Rollins. I used to babysit kids when I was in high school, like a lot, and I'll be sending your caseworker my references to verify it. As much of an asshole I am to everyone else, I'm actually pretty decent when it comes to kids. And I'm sure your worried about me actually having time to watch Dirk, with my class work and everything, but like I told Mrs. Rollins, I live with a woman named Ms. Harley, who's basically like my mom, and she'll be there to help me watch your brother all the time, so he would never be unsupervised or anything like that. She has a lot of experience with kids too and I think you, and especially Dirk, would really, really like her. Um... You can come meet her tomorrow or whenever, if you want to. Or like, if you even want to do this?"

You stop talking at this point and Dave is still just staring at you with his mouth open.

"Why?" he eventually asks you.

"Um, I-I don't know… I guess I just wanted.. wanted to help a friend out," you stutter.

"Oh come the fuck on, that's such bullshit, dude. You tell me every goddamn chance you get how much you hate me. So seriously, tell me why you would do this."

He's got you there and god dammit you've already had an emotional as all fuck night and you were really hoping you wouldn't have to get into any of this with him. He's not going to believe you if you give him any half-assed bullshit answers though, so you decide just to tell him your real reasons. You clear your throat and take your classic guarded stance.

"Okay, then fine, listen up asshole. It's story time with Karkat and I'm not repeating any of this shit, like... ever, so pay the fuck attention. I had shitty as all hell parents and I was in and out of foster care all the fucking time and if I can keep another kid from having to go through that, I will," you wrap your arms around yourself and hunch in as much as possible. 

The next part you've never told anyone who didn't already know but you know it will make Dave realize that you somewhat understand. In a quiet voice, you finish your explanation. "I also... uh... I lost my sister. She was in a car accident and didn't make it. She was seven."

"Fuck, dude..."

"Oh and I don't fucking hate you either, you idiot."

"Oh," Dave is just awkwardly staring at the ground. Probably processing everything you just told him.

"Yea... So, your break is probably over by now I'm guessing? I'm sure you haven't come to a decision about everything yet and you'll need some time to think about it all but if you want I can watch your brother until your shift is over. What time do you get off?"

"9:30."

"Well, there's a park right down the street I could take him to. It's pretty nice and well lit. I do homework there sometimes. Or I can stay here with him and do whatever," you offer.

Dave, standing up at this point, rubs the back of his neck nervously. "Um, I don't know man, this is still a lot to take in and Dirk doesn't really do too well with strangers..."

"Is it okay if I ask him?"

"Yeah man, you can try but don't get your hopes up, he's pretty particular about who he talks to."

You give him a knowing look because, even though you have no clue why, kids really do fucking love you. You turn your attention to the little person who is still in Dave's arms. He's turned away from you.

"Hey little man, my name is Karkat. I go to school with your brother. I already know that your name is Dirk but is it okay if I call you that?"

Dave's eyes widen in shock as his little brother, also now without his shades on, turns to look at you and nods his head yes. You give him a smile and keep talking.

"I'm sorry, we were talking about you like you weren't here, grown ups can be kind of lame like that sometimes," Dirk slightly nods at this and smiling you go on, "So your brother has to get back to work soon and it would be way easier for him if there was someone else here to hangout with you until he's done. Would it be okay with you if I stayed with you until Dave's done working?"

Dirk actually speaks this time and you'd be lying if you said you weren't pleased by the look on Dave's face. Dirk is short and to the point.

"Yes."

"Cool, do you want to stay here? We could finish coloring or would you like to go to the park down the street?" you ask.

"Park," Dirk answers.

"Yeah, I think that would be fun. You should ask your brother if it's okay though."

Dirk turns to Dave and lifts Dave's sunglasses up into his hair and stares into his eyes pleadingly, hands on both of his brothers cheeks.

Dave sighs, "Alright little man, you can go to the park with Karkat. If you need anything just have him bring you right back here, okay?"

Dirk nods and Dave turns to you but you address him first.

"I'll text you as soon as we get there, it's just a short walk. And feel free to call anytime to check in and, if Dirk wants to, I'll let him use my phone to call you. Do you want us to meet you back here at 9:30 or will you meet us at the park?"

"I can meet you at the park, it's on my way home anyway. Dirk already ate dinner so he should be fine but there's some snacks and juice in his bag, which I’ll go grab for you real quick."

Dave disappears into the restaurant and reappears a minute later with the aforementioned bag. He hands it to you and then kneels down, scooping Dirk into a tight hug.

"Alight, little dude. Have fun with Karkat, okay? And if you need to call me Karkat said it’s okay to use his phone so it's okay to ask him. I love you."

Dirk squeezes back and tells Dave that he loves him. As they break apart Dirk comes over too stand by you and he waves goodbye to Dave. 

\-----

You both start off towards the park together, it's about a five minute walk and you complete it in silence. When you finally get to the park, you ask Dirk what he would like to play on first and he points the little ride-on, rocking animal things. You smile and tell him to go ahead and he runs over and claims the horsey one for himself. You follow close behind and find a bench to set your belongings on and then send a text to Dave to let him know you got there okay. 

Since it's pretty late, there's only two other kids at the park but Dirk doesn't seem very interested in making friends. You decide to see if he'll play with you instead and awkwardly squeeze onto the rocking crab thing next to him. You must be quite a sight because Dirk actually laughs at you. Smiling back at him you ask him where you guys are riding off to.

"I'm chasing after the bad ninjas. They stole Applejack's cowboy hat."

"Oh shoot, are we ninjas too?"

"Yep, but we're good ninjas, dude."

You suppress a smile because holy fuck does he sound just like Dave. "Alright, let's go get that hat back then!" you say and the two of you play on the rocking things for quite a while. Dirk gives pretty good commentary and you put in your two cents as needed. You think he's starting to get bored and you notice there are some nice looking sticks under a nearby tree.

"Oh no, the bad ninjas took off on foot! Maybe we should go grab those swords and chase them," you say to Dirk, pointing out the sticks. He doesn't say anything, just leaps off of his horse and sprints off towards the "swords". You follow suit and the two of you spend the rest of your time hunting down the bad ninjas and defeating them with your legendary weapons. You don't even notice that Dave has arrived until Dirk drops his stick and flings himself into Dave's awaiting arms.

"Hey, little man. How'd it go? I see you were teaching Karkat how to sword fight," Dave says, looking straight at you. You can't stop yourself from turning red.

"Yeah! It was awesome, bro. We hunted down all the bad ninjas and Karkat even rode the rocking animal things with me! I rode the horse and he rode the crab!"

"Oh yea? I'm real sorry I missed that little dude." You can't stop another fucking blush as Dave smirks at you.

"Hey, but seriously thank you so much Karkat. You really were a lifesaver tonight. Bet that lifesaver candy was named after you dude. Karkat Vantas: Here to save your family and provide it with something sweet to suck on... wait... fuck. That came out wrong. Shit, can we just pretend I didn't say that?" You groan and facepalm, so he continues talking. 

"Uh, so we never got to go over that article that I gave you and since that was the whole reason you came out, if you want too, you can come over to my place tonight and after I put Dirk to bed, we can go over it. I mean, I know it's pretty late so... it's up to you."

You consider it for a moment. It is late but you hardly sleep anyway and you really don't have anything else going on, so you agree to go over.

Dave takes Dirks hand and begins walking. You start to follow behind them but Dirk stops and reaches his other hand out for you to take. You look over at Dave and he just shrugs at you, so you smile at Dirk and take his hand. The three you continue walking towards Dave’s apartment, hand in hand.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a chapter in honor of the release of Hiveswap lol  
> *edited 3/19/18

It's not too far of a walk to Dave's apartment but you end up in a pretty shady section of town. Even with his shades on, you notice Dave nervously glancing at you occasionally and you wonder if he's embarrassed. 

He doesn't know that you grew up in the quote un quote ghetto and ,by your standards, this neighborhood is not that bad. You finally arrive at a large apartment building and Dirk breaks away from your hand as Dave opens the door. As you trudge inside, Dave kneels down and Dirk scrambles up and onto his back.

"Hope you missed your workout today, Karkat, cuz’ we live on the top floor."

"There's no elevator?" you question.

"Sorry but this ain't the Ritz, dude."

You shoot him a glare and follow him as he starts up the stairs, Dirk still on his back. You're happy that you at least stay somewhat in shape because Dave is ascending the stairs with ridiculous ease even with a forty-ish pound kid on his back. When you figure you're about half to the top, you offer to carry Dirk to give him a break.

"Nah, I'm used to it and it's not much farther," Dave says and you swear he actually picks up his pace at this point. Fucking show off.

Finally you arrive at the top floor and Dave leads you down the hall, stopping in front of a door and opening it. He crouches down again and Dirk hops off of his back and runs inside. Dave steps aside and ushers you inside with a dramatic sweep of his arms. You roll your eyes at him and step into the apartment and look around. It's not at all what you were expecting and your heart starts to hurt as you look around.

You can see just one main room so you're guessing that it's a studio. Along the right wall is a door leading into a bathroom and there's a small, doorless closet. The rest of the right side of the room is taken up by a kitchen that consists of a small fridge, stove, counter and sink, all in a straight line against the wall. Against the left wall, there's a shitty futon and due to the blanket and pillow on it, you're guessing that this is where Dave sleeps. 

You note that there's two cardboard boxes full of clothes on the floor next to it. A small, banged up coffee table sits in front of the futon with a small child sized chair on one side of it and a pillow on the floor on the opposite side. You see Dave's textbooks sprawled across the table on the side with the pillow and some paper, crayons and a small bowl with orange rinds in it on the other.  

Dirk runs over to the last corner left in the small place and this is when you feel your heart really start to clench.  There's a really cool, orange race car bed with horse themed sheets and comforter on it. There's a pretty big stack of books next to it on the floor and several are open and scattered across the floor. 

At the end of the bed is a longer cardboard box filled with toys but it's been painted to look like the solar system. The walls are lined with drawings of horses and robots and weird comics of two guys, all drawn in varying degrees of shitiness. Lastly is a dresser, it's also been painted but its been made to look like a robot instead. On the top of it is a small fish tank with two goldfish inside and a picture frame with a photo of Dirk and Dave. Dirk excitedly calls you over to his "room" and begins showing you his stuff. He starts with his goldfish.

"Dave won these for me at the fair. I named them Sawtooth and Squarewave. He's really awesome at games, he always wins," Dirk keeps talking as he moves on to his next prized possession. 

"He even painted my dresser for me, he's the best at painting and drawing too!" Dirk hops onto his bed, pointing at the comic drawings of the two crudely drawn guys, "See! He drew all these for me. It's called Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff and it's sooooo funny...."

Dirk continues showing you his "treasures" and intermittently telling you how awesome his big brother is. It's obvious he thinks the world of Dave and, from what you see of the small apartment, it's pretty obvious that Dirk is Dave's world too. 

Fuck, you feel like a goddamn asshole. You're honestly having a hard time processing everything. You had thought you had Dave pegged down with your original impression of him and granted, you still find him to be an annoying as all fuck asshole, but someone who so obviously cares for his little brother so much can't be all bad. 

You'd also assumed him to be a spoiled rich kidl and that's clearly not the case either based on what you're currently looking at. You can't help but feel like an interloper. You just thrust yourself into Dave's life without any invitation from him and now you're getting an all too personal glimpse into his life and struggles.

Dirk is still excitedly engrossed in his tour when Dave steps in to interrupt.

"Alright little man, you're gonna have to show Karkat the rest of your rad stuff some other day ‘cuz it's way late and we need to get you to bed." 

Surprisingly, Dirk doesn't argue and instead runs over to his robot dresser, opens the middle drawer and grabs out what you're guessing are some pajamas. He runs over to Dave who scoops him up again and carries him over to the bathroom. Before he closes the door, Dave addresses you.

"We'll be back out in a few, make yourself at home."

You nod in response and continue to stand there, awkward as all fuck. There's not really anywhere to sit because you're definitely not going to sit on the futon if that's Dave's bed and you don't want to look like an asshole by sitting on the floor pillow. So you opt to go over and look at the drawings on Dirk's wall in more detail. Fuck, those comics really are even more asinine than they were at first glance and you make a mental note to berate Dave for them later. He may be a better person than you originally thought but your name wouldn't be Karkat Vantas if you let prime idiocy like that go unchecked. 

The two Strider's emerge from the bathroom and Dirk runs over to you and holds out his fist, apparently for you to bump, which you do.

"Goodnight Mr. Karkat. Thank you for taking me to the park, I had a lot of fun and Dave says you really saved our asses today."

"DIRK! Don't say that word around company, little dude," Dave reprimands. You almost laugh at the implication that it's okay to say it if company's not around.

Dirk just shrugs and runs over to Dave's backpack and you see him grab the same horsey from it that Dave had dropped in class earlier today, and fuck it seems like that was a lifetime ago. He then heads over to his bed and dives into it. His brother shakes his head as he turns off the main light, leaving only a small lamp on and follows closely behind him. You can't help but wonder how he still sees in the dim as all hell light since he still has yet to take his fucking shades off.  

Dave grabs the horsey comforter off of the bed and fluffs it up in the air, letting it slowly float back down to cover up Dirk. He tucks him in and leans down to kiss his forehead as they whisper their “goodnight”’s and “love you”’s to one another. 

Not wanting to intrude on such an intimate part of their daily routine you decide to fuck off to the farthest corner of the kitchen and busy yourself with studying the shitty pattern of the countertop. You can't help but whip your head over to stare in disbelief though when Dave literally starts rapping a bedtime song to Dirk. You have to bite your tongue to keep from commenting, especially since he makes you part of the god damn thing.

_ Yo little man, you know it's time  _

_ To send you to sleep with some hella sick rhymes _

_ We've had a long day but it's ok _

_ Cuz Karkat came along and saved the day _

_ You went to the park and you showed him how _

_ A Strider keeps the bad guys down _

_ So close your eyes and get some rest  _

_ And tomorrow you can put more villains to the test _

_ Cuz you're the coolest little bro around  _

_ and you make those bad guys look like clowns _

Dirk laughs through the whole "rap" and even though you'd rather fucking die than admit it to Dave, you ended up being pretty entertained yourself. Dave finishes up and ruffles Dirks hair as he snuggles under the covers. You turn back around too continue your inspection of the counter. 

A short time later you hear Dave stand up and you turn around as he walks over to you with his hands in his pockets and shoulders hunched. From the light, even sound of breathing, you're assuming that Dirk is asleep. Dave starts speaking first.

"So... uh, today sure was a thing that happened."

"Yea it sure was, and so was that lame ass bedtime rap. I didn't know anyone was actually a big enough douche to do that in real life."

"Dude, you don't gotta knock my sweet as fuck rhythms just because you're jealous. I saw you over there in the corner, tapping your feet to my sick beats. Those rhymes were so fresh they belong in the produce aisle, you were thumpin’ that shit for ripeness like they were melons," Dave retorts.

"FUCK OFF," you half-yell and you fight to get your voice under control as you remember that  there's a four year old asleep a few feet away. 

Dave just smirks at you and it's so easy to fall back into your routine of long winded arguments with him. You fight down the urge to put him in his place and instead continue on in a much quieter tone.

" _ Anyways _ , I don't know if you've gave this whole situation anymore thought but did you want to come over tomorrow to meet Ms. Harley and see where we'd be watching Dirk… I mean, if you decide that's what you want?"

Dave is quiet for a moment before he answers you. 

"Uh, yea man, that'd be cool. But.. uh.. I just want to make sure you're still up for this. It's a lot to take on and I know you'd didn't have much time to give it any thought either. You just kinda jumped in like you were Indiana Jones or something and my case worker was the fucking Nazi regime, there to steal away the Holy fucking Grail or some shit..."

"Dave, I'm absolutely one hundred fucking percent sure, okay?" 

"Yeah. Okay. Cool. I gotta say I was pretty shocked when Dirk responded to you today. It usually takes a lot to get him to interact with anyone and he acted like you were his best fucking friend." 

"Yeah, I usually get that reaction with kids honestly. Guess they're too young too actually sense what an awful person I am or something..." you scratch your head.

"Nah, man, kids are like... the only ones whose character judgment you can really trust. They can like, sense if people are bad, just like dogs or bees."

You snort and reply, "So, are you admitting what a great person I am?"

Dave huffs a laugh, "Dude, maybe we should go start on that article before you get even more of a fucking god complex, that shit’s mad embarrassing."

"Yea, we probably should," you concede.

"Okay, yeah. Did you want something to drink though? We got some apple juice, orange juice, or water if you prefer?" 

"Um, sure. I'll take some water... please."

Dave heads to the fridge and returns with your glass of water and you roll your eyes when you notice that he has an apple juice for himself. You always knew he was a fucking child. You follow him as he heads over to the coffee table and you can tell something's bothering him by the way he starts to fidget. 

"Uh, sorry that the only chair is child size, even though that might be the perfect fit for you Karkat. Shit’s just fucking expensive and making sure we have food and clothes is kinda more important than having any fancy ass luxuries like adult size chairs, y’know? Besides, having no chairs kinda matches the vibe of the rest of this legendary piece of shit apartment."

You decide to ignore his jab at your size because you actually feel bad that he's embarrassed.

"Fuck chairs, those accursed instruments of ass elevation are way overrated anyway," you feel accomplished when you see a slight smile on Dave's normally impassive face. "Seriously though Strider, this apartments at least ten fucking times nicer than some of the best places I lived in growing up. And I mean, who the fuck needs any other furniture anyway when you have a bright orange race car bed gracing your place?"

"Yeah," Dave agrees, face back to neutral. "Dirk usually ends up crawling over to sleep next to me but I was hoping that having a cool as fuck bed would get him used to sleeping alone, just in case." 

The weight of that statement falls between the two of you and there's a moment of awkward silence. Dave's the first to break it. 

"Uh, so... yea bro, you can either take the floor pillow or if you want we can sit on the futon. I mean, you  _ have _ been dying to get into bed with me forever and now here's your chance."

"I swear to fuck Strider, don't even start with that shit again. I'll take the fucking pillow, you dick," you growl at him as you scoop up the pillow and smack him across the chest with it. You move it to the other side of the table and sit down. Instead of sitting on the futon himself, Dave grabs the other pillow from it and settles onto the floor across from you. He drags his backpack over and pulls out the article as well as the rest of the work you've done on your project. 

You have to crawl across the floor some to reach your bag from where you had set it down and you pull it back to the table and do the same. You and Dave read over the paper together and pick out the points you both agree on and want to include. You spend the next hour or so finishing up your project, which is mostly just the two of you arguing back and forth but this is apparently how you work best together. You're actually surprisingly pretty pleased with the final product and you're not even dreading having to present it. 

You collect your belongings, scooping them back into your bag, and you stand up to leave. Strider follows suit and he walks you over to the door. You turn to face him before you open it. 

"So I'll send you a text with my address on it. What time do you think you'll come over?"

"Probably about ten or so depending on how much of a terror Dirk is in the morning. I'll shoot you a text or whatever when we're on our way though." 

"Okay, sounds good. I'm going to get going then. Night," you say as you pull open the door. Dave stops you before you step out. 

"Uh, hey Karkat?" You stop and turn to look at him and he raises his hand and hesitates a moment before he gives your shoulder an awkward pat. "Thanks again, man," he says quietly.

You give him a silent nod, step out, and close the door behind you. You start down the stairs and as you go you can’t help but notice how warm your shoulder feels from where Dave touched you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two things - I'm shit at describing surroundings and also at making up raps lol  
> I hope everyone still enjoyed this chapter in spite of that though!  
> Thanks for reading! =)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave's POV
> 
> *edited 3/22/18

As Karkat closes the door you lock it up and then turn, lean against it and slump down to the floor. You pull your knees up to your chest, cross your arms over them and let your head drop onto them and let out a long ass sigh.

Your name is Dave Strider and you’re not completely sure what the fuck happened today. It had started out in normal fashion: Stressful as all fuck. Dirk was in rare form, he hated waking up early and hated being left at preschool even more so and apparently thought if he was as bad as possible you'd keep him home. You couldn't even be mad at him though, he'd spent the first four years of his life fearing retribution if he showed any sort of emotion, so anytime he does emote, even if it's him being an asshole, you're relieved. 

After you'd dropped him off at school you had to rush to make it to your first class of the day, English. Once there, your professor had had the class pair up immediately since it was your last day to work on your projects in class, and so you had went over to sit next your shouty, asshole partner. You hadn't been particularly excited about it because you had a headache from dealing with Dirk and Karkat could be loud as all fuck. But at the same time you kind of enjoyed arguing back and forth with him and it was funny as fuck to get him riled up. 

True to form, the two of you had spent most of the class bickering back and forth. Then, close to the end of class, you had found Dirk's favorite stuffed horsey and had to leave early to take it to him, not wanting him to have a meltdown at preschool.

The rest of the day passed by without incident, Karkat's text about meeting up was the only thing out of the ordinary. You didn't respond right away because you weren't exactly thrilled about having to see him, or really anyone else for that matter, outside of school. You liked to keep your shit private, man. You had decided to have him meet you during your break at work that night. You just wanted to get it over with because you had to work over the weekend and like hell you were going to give up any of your free time when you could spend it with Dirk. Then your case worker showed up at your job and you knew that you were royally fucked. 

You'd been trying to find a good sitter for Dirk, you really fucking had, but it seemed like the god damn universe was against you because one way or another shit kept falling through. First, you'd tried a family that had a stay-at-home mom with kids of her own but she backed out because Dirk wouldn't talk to her or her kids. She'd pretty much told you that his "uniqueness" made her nervous and she didn't want him rubbing off on her kids. 

Then one of the girls at work offered to watch him for you for a great price but once she'd realized that you truly only wanted her to babysit your brother and not hook up with her, she was out quicker than the Cowboys during the Stanley Cup playoffs. 

Hell, you'd even tried looking into professional child care agencies but that shit was mad expensive so there was no way in hell that was happening. Mrs. Rollins, your case worker, had recommended her niece but she had flaked out on you last minute because someone else had offered her more money to watch their kids.

So yeah, you had been completely and utterly fucked because you were outta options and Mrs. Rollins was standing in front of you telling you that she would be putting Dirk in foster care and you were on the verge of having a panic attack. So you'd asked to take your break, scooped up Dirk from the booth he was sitting at, and absconded the fuck outside as fast as you could. You had went a sat against the wall and just hugged your little bro as hard as you could, unable to control your shaking or the tears that were quietly rolling down your face. And Dirk, god, he'd just fucking hugged you back and sat there with you just as silently. You don't know how long you had been out there when Karkat came out and shattered the silent bubble the two of you had been engrossed in. 

And that's the part you were sitting here on floor still trying to process. Some-fucking-how the shouty asshole from your English class, whose first words to you were to tell you how much he hated you, Who continued, on a daily basis, to let you know how much you annoyed and pissed him off, had stepped in and literally saved the fucking day. You're still not completely sure why he did it. Yea, sure, he gave you some valid and sad as shit reasons but you were still someone who he hated, so why would he help you out like this? Well okay, he did say he didn't hate you but still... 

On top of wondering why, you were also warring with yourself about accepting help from him. Not Karkat specifically but just help from anyone in general. Strider's don't fucking accept charity and that's something you've literally had beaten into you. 

With that thought, you stand up and walk quietly over to Dirk's bed. You stare down at him and your heart aches at just how fragile, helpless, and little he looks. You think about how he reacted to Karkat today and honestly you're still fucking shocked about that. He'd talked to him, and willingly left to the park with him and played with him. You've only ever seen him that way with a handle full of other people and those were either your sisters or people who had to put in a lot of fucking work to gain his trust.

He'd been so excited showing off his stuff too Karkat and as you think about that you know that you're going to have to swallow your pride here and accept what Karkat's offering you ‘cuz you'd rather die a thousand deaths than see Dirk wind back up with Bro. Shi, Bro was the one who taught you not to accept help and nothing good has ever come from that fucker (with the exception of his offspring) so why would this be any different?

You don't know how long you sit next to Dirk, lost in your thoughts but when you finally decide to make your way over to your own bed its well after three am. You don't even bother changing because you're just too fucking drained at this point and you crawl under your covers. You feel yourself just beginning to drift off when you hear the sound of small feet padding towards you. You hear his steps hesitate and your heart aches because you know he still has moments where he fears certain things will get him in trouble. You lift your blanket up and call out to him. 

"Come on, little dude," and, hesitation gone, Dirk launches himself into your bed and snuggles up, his head under your chin. You can feel him tilt his head up slightly to look at you.

"Dave?"

"’Sup, little man?" 

"Are we really going to Karkat's house tomorrow?" 

"Yeah."

"Cool."

You feel him smile against you and he snuggles back down, his breathing evening out as he drifts back to sleep. You absentmindedly stroke his hair and as you start to drift off yourself, you know you made the right decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and all the feedback and support! It's always appreciated 
> 
>    
> Find me on Tumblr [ @ nuwanda717 ](//www.tumblr.com/blog/nuwanda717)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty stoked for this chapter because after this I'll be getting into things I've really wanted to write about =)
> 
> *chapter edited 3/22/18

After you made it home last night you didn't go to sleep right away, too many thoughts were racing through your mind. You had fucked around on the computer for a while and even tried reading one of your favorite novels but it was still well after three in the morning when you finally dozed off, which, truly wasn't that far off from your normal schedule of hardly sleeping. Regardless, you still set your alarm for six in the morning. You still needed to explain to Ms. Harley what you had signed her up for.

And so this is where you currently found yourself. Up with the sunrise and hesitating outside the door to the enclosed back porch, where you knew you would find your former foster mother enjoying her morning tea. 

Taking a moment to rehearse what you would say to her(again), you entered the room and sure enough, she's there, sitting in her favorite rocking chair, tea in hand and huge fluffy white dog at her feet. She turns to you with a smile as you approach, and even after all these years, you still find yourself struck by her unconventional, earthy beauty. 

She's nearing her sixties now and her long flowing hair is more gray than black now. She has faint laugh lines and crow's feet around her eyes that seem only to enhance the warmness of her smile and the brightness of her eyes. She is all around soft and safe and genuine. Everything that your own mother wasn't, and although you'll always wonder what you did to deserve her, you'll never stop being thankful that she came into your life.

You plop down into your usual seat, just to the left of her and mumble out a grumpy good morning. Used to and unfazed by your prickly demeanor, Ms. Harley responds with a cheerful "Good morning, dear."

You sit there in the continued silence, now getting nervous about telling her that you volunteered her to help watch some random kid she knows nothing about in her spare time. Ms. Harley knows you too well though, and breaks the silence herself.

"Karkat, are you going to sit there and keep up the internal war with yourself or are you going to get to the point?"

You love her for her straightforwardness but still shoot her a glare. You chew at your bottom lip because well... she is right. You need to get to the god damn point sometime today or at least before Strider and Co. show up on your doorstep.

"Um, so you know that one idiot that I told you I got paired up with in my English course?"

"’Shades Douche? Yes, I remember, dear.” You smile at her frankness and one of the first things you liked about her way back when was that she never chided you about your... colorful language.

"Yea, that one. Well, uh... well, I went to meet up with him last night to finish up our project and it turns out he had me meet him at the place where he works. That shitty burger place over on Noir St.,” you say and glance over at her to see if she’s as surprised by this as you were but she just nods for you to go on. “When I got there he was talking with two other people so I just... kinda... sneaked inside and I overheard them talking. Not on purpose or anything!!" you emphasize as you see her give you a chastising look.

"But... um, it turned out that the two other people were Shades Douche's manager and his case worker and he was going to lose the temporary custody he had of his little brother because..."

You let the whole story spill from your lips, not leaving anything out, including your conversation with the case worker and your trip to the park with Dirk and all the small little details about his corner "room" in the apartment. Ms. Harley listens intently the entire time you speak, occasionally nodding or letting out a thoughtful "hmmm." 

"So yeah, I'm sorry I completely fucking took the liberty of volunteering you, and if you don't want to do this, I'll of course take responsibility and tell Dave to fuck off. Oh yeah, Shade Douche's name is actually Dave, you should probably know that. But uh, he's supposed to text me first, but he said they would probably be here around ten or so this morning to see the house and meet you..." 

You let your words trail off because Ms. Harley still hasn't said anything and fuck, maybe you were wrong about her being okay with this. Shit. 

"Well Bec,," she says reaching down to pet the huge ball of white fluff at her feet. "It looks like were going to be having some company today." As the dog lets out a few happy thumps of his tail, Ms. Harley stands and sets her tea cup on the table next to her chair. She turns to you and continues to speak.

"We don't have much kid-friendly food to offer for lunch so if you don't mind, could you run too the market before they get here? I'll make you a list." 

You nod and stand up yourself and prepare to exit the porch, trying to keep your emotions in check. She’s pissed at you, she must be. You fucked up and now she’s beholden to do something that she never agreed too. Fuck. Why do you do shit like this? God dammit, Karkat. Right before you make it through the door, Ms. Harley grabs your hand and gives it a squeeze. 

"And Karkat?" You meet her gaze. "I am so, so proud of you." She gives your hand another quick squeeze and lets you go. "And I can't say I'm not excited that there will be a little one running around again." she says with a smile.

Oh. Okay, so she’s not mad. At all. Never being one to be comfortable with outward displays of affection, at least ones directed at you, you just flash her a small smile in return and then quickly abscond to your room to get dressed to go the store. Once there, you let out a sigh of relief that Ms. Harley was as okay with this as you thought she'd be and you try not to focus on how happy you feel that you made her proud.

\-----

While you're at the store, you get a text from Dave that says they will be over at about 10:30. You let him know that that's fine and finish up your shopping and head home. Once there, you help put the groceries away and check to make sure there isn't anything that Ms. Harley needs you to do before the Strider’s arrive. Since there isn't, you decide to work on some of your homework to kill time before they get here. 

At about 10:40 you hear the doorbell ring and you fight down your irritation because seriously... is this fucker incapable of being on time? You get up from your desk and head down the stairs to the front door, making a brief detour to let Ms. Harley know that the Strider’s are here. She smiles and lets you know to bring them in to meet her whenever they’re ready. You give her a slight nod and continue on to the front door. 

You open it up and, to no one's surprise, Dave and Dirk are standing there. Dirk is hiding behind Dave, clutching onto his hand. You smile at him and when he sees it’s you, he lets out an excited "Karkat!" He comes out from behind Dave and holds out his fist for a bump and then reaches up for you to hold him like it's an everyday occurrence. Ever obliging, you reach down and scoop him up and then turn your attention back to Dave. 

"Hey."

"’Sup," he responds continuing to stand there awkward as fuck.

"Alright, asswipe, as much as I love these stimulating conversations with you, are you coming in or what?"

He looks uneasy and still hesitates before he shrugs and takes a careful step inside. You close the door and step in behind him. You decide to address Dirk instead, he's more at ease with you and you think it might take some of the stress off of Dave right now.

"I'm glad you came today," you say to Dirk and he smiles up at you. "I think you're really going to like Ms. Harley, she's really nice. Do you want to meet her now or do you want me to show you around the house first?" 

"House." 

"Alright," you agree as you walk farther into the house. You look back at Dave and he's still standing at the door. This time though, it's Dirk that prods him into motion.

"Dave?" he reaches out a hand towards his brother.

"Oh right," you can see Dave snap back to reality and he comes to stand beside you again. You give him a questioning glare but start on your tour instead of calling him out.

"So this our living room, we mostly only hang out in here if we want to watch TV, but our couch is so comfy it makes all the other couches feel inferior. Wanna try it out, Dirk?" 

He nods and you shift him in your arms until you're cradling him and you give him a soft toss and let him bounce onto the couch. He lets out an excited squeal as he sinks into oversized cushions and scrambles around to get into a sitting position while still making himself slightly bounce up and down as he sits.

"So, what do you think? Best couch ever?"

"Heck yes!" he says and god dammit you're already getting attached to this kid.

"So, wanna see the rest of the house or you going to stay and take a nap?"

"Hell no, I hate naps!" Dirk says and hops off of the couch and back into your arms. Yeah okay, you're definitely already attached.

You trio continues on, you briefly show them the den and the kitchen and point out the door to the back porch and yard but you don't head out there just yet. Dirk looks around in fascination at all the cool artifacts Ms. Harley has collected during her travels over the years. Both of the brothers seem intrigued by all of the plants that adorn the house and you notice several times that Dave reaches out and lightly strokes some of the plants as he passes them. You lead them upstairs and briefly let them peek into your room and the spare bedroom and then show them where Dirk’s room/playroom would be. 

"I'd have my own room here?" Dirk questions in awe.

You notice Dave give a slightly guilty frown and you try to lessen the blow.

"Yep and we could try to set it up similar to your room at home but I don't know if we can get to be nearly as cool."

"Yea, that's true, Dave made everything in my room for me and no ones cooler than him."

You see Dave's frown turn into a small smile and you're not sure why you feel as pleased as you do.

"Alright guys, so that's pretty much it on the house. All that's left to see are the back porch and the yard. Do you want to go out and take a look and meet Ms. Harley?"

Dave, who has been quiet until now, nods in agreement, "Yeah, let’s go." 

However Dirk, who has been talkative the entire time, doesn't say anything but you feel him tense slightly in your arms. You lead the way back down stairs and head towards the rear of the house. As you enter the back porch, you see Ms. Harley, much as she was this morning, sitting in her favorite chair, tea cup in hand but Bec is no longer at her feet. She stands as you come in, a warm and welcoming smile on her face and lets out a friendly "Hello boys."

Before she can say anything else Dirk completely stiffens in your arms and he shoots his arms straight upwards and his legs downwards, turning himself into a plank of dead weight in order to be able to slide out off your arms. You're caught off guard and he slips from your grip and lands on the floor with a thud. Unfazed, he immediately gets up and runs right to his brother and doesn't even wait for Dave to pick him up as he starts trying to climb straight up him instead. Dave doesn't seem surprised and just helps him the rest of the way up and gives him a tight hug as Dirk buries his face into his shoulder. You, on the other hand, are damn surprised because this is not the kid you met last night..

"Shhhh, Dirk, it's okay. I gotcha bud," Dave whispers softly as he rubs his little brothers back gently. He turns his attention back to Ms. Harley. "I'm sorry, he doesn't take well to strangers. Uh, my names Dave though. Dave Strider. It's nice to meet you, Ms. Harley."

"Ah, no worries dear, meeting new people can be especially scary for little ones. I'm Jade Harley. Most people call me Ms. Jade or just Jade if you prefer. Karkat's that only one who is uptight enough to call me Ms. Harley," she tells Dave with a wink and a slight laugh.

"It's called having fucking respect," you retort but you can't stop yourself from blushing as you stare down at the floor.

She chuckles at you but continues on.

"Well, I don't know about you boys, but I'd like to continue this conversation outside in the sunshine. We don't have too many more nice days like this before it’ll be too cold for such things. Will you join me?"

Dave nods and you go ahead and open the back door, holding it as the other three pass through. Ms. Harley leads you all out just to the right of the porch and over to the patio furniture. She claims her favorite glider and you take one of the single chairs so that Dave can sit on the small wicker couch with Dirk, who still has yet to unbury himself from Dave's shoulder. After you are all seated, Ms. Harley begins to speak again.

"Does Dirk like dogs?" she asks Dave.

"Uh, he hasn't really had much of a chance to be around any but he really loves animals in general."

"Would it be okay if I brought my dog out to meet him?"

"Hell yea. Uh, I mean... Shit. Fuck, sorry. Uh, what I was trying to say was, yea, I think he'd like that."

You have to stifle a laugh at Dave's utter failure at watching his language and you notice Ms. Harley place a hand over her smile as she does the same. 

"Great, I had him go off into the garden to wait in case either of you weren't very keen on dogs but I'll go ahead and call him over now." 

She let out a whistle and calls his name. "Bec! Come here boy, there's people who would like to meet you!"

Bec comes trotting out from the back of the garden, his long white fur blowing in the breeze and tongue lolling out, and follows the path right over to your small group. He goes straight to Ms. Harley and she gives him a few good pats and praises him for being such a good boy.

Dave lets out an honest to god "awwwwww" and exclaims how cute he is.

"Can we pet him?" Dave asks excitedly.

"Of course! His name is Bec, just call him over."

Dave prods at Dirk a little. "Hey, little man do you wanna pet the doggy?" You see Dirk peek up just slightly and that's apparently enough encouragement for Dave. He reaches his hand down and lets out a whistle.

"Bec, come here boy. Come on."

Bec doesn't hesitate and bounds over to the two boys; always excited at the prospect of new people to give him love. Dave, with Dirk still attached, slides from his seat to sit on the ground. Bec couldn't be happier because now he was full access to them and he’s simultaneously rubbing back and forth against them, rolling on the ground for belly rubs, and dolling out kisses. Dave is actually laughing, the first time you've seen him do so and it doesn't take long for Dirk to pull away from Dave and join in the fun and he's laughing and dishing out puppy love right along with his brother.

This goes on for a good ten minutes and you and Ms. Harley both just watch quietly amused from the side lines. After Bec is satisfied with the amount of petting he's received, he plops down onto the ground with a loud but satisfied grunt. Dirk follows suit and sprawls his whole torso, belly side down, over Bec's middle and the two of them lay there in quiet contentment. Dave chuckles and returns to his seat now back to his normal stoic expression. Ms. Harley decides to try her luck with Dirk again.

"Dirk?" His head snaps up and he looks ready to bolt. 

"Would you like to give Bec a treat?" He regards her for a moment and nods. Ms. Harley pulls a treat from a pocket in her skirt and holds it out for Dirk to come take. He gets up from Bec, whose head snaps up in interest as he does, and warily makes his way over to take the treat. Ms. Harley gives him her warmest smile as he does so.

"He'll do a trick if you ask him too. He's very good at sit, speak, and roll over."

Dirk nods, turning back and running to Bec, whose full attention is now on the Dirk.

"Roll over?" Dirk asks instead of demands and Bec does so instantly. Dirk lets out a happy laugh and gives Bec the treat as well as some pats of appreciation. After Bec has finished eating his prize, Dirk makes his way back over to Ms. Harley, not nearly as warily as before.

"Can I give him another?"

"Of course dear," she says and pulls out another treat. Dirk runs back and this time asks Bec to speak, earning another instant result. Ms. Harley has a treat already out when Dirk comes back again and this time he's the one who gives her a smile before taking it and returning to have Bec do his last trick. When he comes back to Ms. Harley again, she speaks to him instead of handing him another treat.

"That's probably enough treats for now, we don't want to give him a belly ache. If it’s alright, I was wondering if you'd like Bec too take you on a tour of my garden? I have some good sized pumpkins that are ready for picking, maybe you can choose one to take home since Halloween isn't too far away now."

"Heck yes!" Dirk exclaims. Dave clears his throat at that and Dirk corrects himself. "I mean... yes, ma'am, please."

Ms. Harley chuckles at him and tells him to go ask his brother if it would be okay. Dave gives his approval and Ms. Harley calls Bec over and tells him to show Dirk the garden. Bec bounces off down the path and Dirk walks beside him, hand on his back. Once the two of them are into the garden, Ms. Harley turns back and addresses Dave.

"So, Dave, Karkat tells me you need someone to look after Dirk while you're at work?"

"Uh yea that sure is a thing I need... but... uh.. look, it's just a lot to ask of you both and I work crazy hours sometimes and I mean, Karkat has school work and I don't even know if you're okay with this at all and I can't... I mean I don't…. I can like only afford to pay someone like forty bucks a week to watch him and I don't want to take advantage of you and Dirk has issues sometimes and..."

"Dave," Ms. Harley cuts him off. "Those are all valid concerns and I can hardly begin to imagine what you're going through right now. However, I'm not sure how much Karkat has told you about me, but I've worked with foster children for a good portion of my life and I feel as if it's my calling in life to help children who need it. I've had many children in the past who have all had "issues" so that's not something that would make me look at or treat Dirk any differently and we can, of course, discuss what his are and ways you think are best to help him through any episodes that arise. As I said earlier, dear, children are my calling and I'm frankly excited that we'd have a little one in house again and we wouldn't expect any payment to watch him." 

She holds up a hand as Dave opens his mouth to protest and she keeps going. "I mean it, the only thing I would ask from you is that you keep up your grades and attendance in school. Ensuring you build a good life for you and your brother will be payment enough. You also may be wondering, ‘Why I would help a stranger like this?’ but Karkat hasn’t stopped talking about you since he was first partnered up with you and I trust his judgment one-hundred percent."

Dave shoots you a confused look and you frown back at him and shrug your shoulders. Ms. Harley catches the exchange and she chuckles.

"I should elaborate because I'm sure he's ranted at you about how much he “hates” you and how you “annoy” him every chance he gets and honestly, that's pretty much the same that he's told me about you. The only time Karkat ever goes one about someone like that though is when he ends up becoming best friends with said person and I must say,he has quality friends. So yes, I trust his judgment."

You groan and bury you face in your hands in embarrassment but you catch the smirk that Dave shoots you before you do. Ms. Harley ignores you and continues talking to Dave.

"So sweetie, I know that's a lot to take in... but do you think that's something that would work out for you and your little brother?"

Dave doesn't answer right away and he looks out towards the garden where Dirk is still walking with Bec. He looks back down at the ground and he shakes his head slightly before he answers.

"Um, honestly this is all a lot to take in and it kinda seems too good to be true? But uh, I've never seen Dirk take too anyone like he did Karkat and it didn't take much for him to warm up to you either. I don't really have many other options right now either but even if I did I think I'd still like give this a try..."

Ms. Harley smiles at him and you didn't realize how tense you had been waiting for his answer. You feel the tension drain out of you and you feel something close too excitement? Relief, perhaps? You're not entirely sure so you push that thought to the back of your mind and squarely into the “To Be Examined Later” corner. The three of you spend the next twenty or so minutes working out details and going over Dave's schedule. It turns out that he's actually scheduled to work this evening, so today will be your first time watching Dirk.

Dirk comes back over and he lets you all know that he found a "rad" pumpkin and asks Dave to come help him pick it, which he does. After they come back and you and Ms. Harley have effectively exclaimed over what an awesome pumpkin Dirk chose, she invites everyone inside to have lunch. It's relatively uneventful but Dave lets the two of you know that since he doesn't work until five in the evening that he's going to take Dirk back home for a while to hangout and get a few things Dirk will need before he brings him back later. After you’ve all finished eating, Dave helps you clear the table and clean up from lunch. He goes back out to the table to say goodbye to Ms. Harley.

"Thank you for lunch and for everything else Ms. J," You can't help but roll your eyes at the name he settled on for her, "You and Karkat have really helped me and Dirk out in ways you don't even know and I just… I want you both to know that I really, really appreciate it."

"It's no problem dear, really. I'm really looking forward to having Dirk around and you too!"

Dave gives her a small smile and nod. "Well, we're going to get going now but I'll bring Dirk back at about 4:30." You and Ms. Harley both nod at that and Dave calls out to Dirk, who has resumed playing with Bec. 

"Dirk, we've got to go now little man, so come say goodbye and thank you to Ms. J and Karkat."

Dirk comes over and some of his shyness has returned as he mumbles a thank you to Ms. Harley and gives her a goodbye wave. Dave scoops him up and you walk him to the door. 

"Aren’t you going to say bye to Karkat, lil’ dude?"

Dirk reaches out for you in response and you take him from Dave’s arms and give him a hug goodbye.

"Thanks for coming over today, little guy. Maybe we can fight some bad ninjas when you come back later today?"

"Yea! I saw some good swords we can use out in the garden!"

You smile at him and hand him back to his brother. Dave stares at you nervously and you stare back just as awkwardly. 

"So, um, I guess I'll see you when you drop Dirk off later?"

"Yea and... and thanks again for all this."

"Yeah, yeah. Stop fucking thanking me douche bag. I got it by now," you grumble at him because you're still an asshole.

He smiles at you and you flip him off.

"Alright dude, we'll see you later then," he turns away and jogs down the steps, heading off down the sidewalk towards his apartment.

You don't realize that you're standing there watching him until Bec comes up and nudges your hand and jolts you back in to awareness. You close the door and sit down cross-legged on the floor and give Bec some rubs as you contemplate the day you've had so far. You can't help but feel irritated with yourself that Dave's smile and laugh keeps popping into your thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as always, hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading and the continued support! =) Let me know what you think!  
> Find me on Tumblr [ @ nuwanda717 ](//www.tumblr.com/blog/nuwanda717)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to split up this next chapter because it was getting really long and I felt like I was condensing some things that I wanted to elaborate on. So this chapter is mainly just focusing on relationship building between characters.
> 
> *edited 3/22/18

Dave drops Dirk off later that day at 4:30, just like he had said he would and for once his ass is actually on time. He doesn't say much but he brought a bag of supplies for Dirk with him and it has pretty much everything you might end up needing for Dirk and then some. There's snacks and food for dinner, three changes of clothes, two pairs of pajamas, a jacket and gloves, a small blanket and pillow, wipes, a towel and washcloth, soap, a hair brush, a toothbrush and toothpaste, lotion, several different toys including Dirk's special plush horsey, sunscreen, kids Tylenol with detailed dosing instructions, an extra sippy cup, even forks, spoons, plates and napkins. He spreads it all onto the table, giving explanations and instructions as he does so. Apparently he thinks you and Ms. Harley are idiots and lack basic necessities because seriously what the fuck? You're about to open your mouth to lay into him when Ms. Harley shoots you a look and starts talking instead.

"Thank you dear. This is all very helpful. Dirk is very lucky to have a big brother who cares about him so much." 

Dave gives her a small, embarrassed nod as you shoot her a questioning look. You don't say anything though, not wanting to be disrespectful, and figure you'll just ask her about it after Dave leaves. Besides, you can lay into Strider later, if you need to.

"So... that should cover everything he might need. I figured a lot of it can just stay here, if that's okay?" Ms. Harley nods her head in agreement at that. "If there's anything else that you need or if there's an emergency or anything like just call me on my cell first and then at work if I don't answer. Y'all put the numbers in your phones right?" This time you and Ms. Harley both nod your agreement. "Alright, so I guess that's it then... uh, I get off at eleven tonight so I'll be here at like 11:15 to pick him up."

"Sounds great dear. Thank you for being so thorough."

"Yep. Hey, Dirk, I gotta go, come here." Dave kneels down and Dirk jumps up from where he had been petting Bec on the floor and races into his brother's arms. 

"Be good and listen to Karkat and Ms. J, alright, little man?" Dirk nods and Dave keeps talking. "And make sure to wash your hands before you eat and brush your teeth after you get your pjs on and don't be too rough with Bec..."

"Brooooooo!! I got iiiiit!!!" Dirk whines back at him.

Dave smiles at him and gives him one more tight hug. "Alright little dude, I love you."

"Love you too, bro," Dirk says running back over to continue petting Bec.

Dave stands up and gathers up his phone and backpack. He says goodbye to you and Ms. Harley again and repeats that he'll be back at 11:15 and to call him for anything. You roll your eyes and you practically have to push him out the door. After locking the door back up, you head back into the kitchen where Dirk is still on the floor and Ms. Harley is shifting through the mountain of supplies that Dave left.

"Hey Dirk?" he perks up when you address him. "Why don't you take Bec out to the garden and find those swords you told me about earlier? I'm going to help Ms. Harley put all this stuff away and then I'll come out so we can play."

"Sounds rad," he says and calls for Bec as he runs out the back door. You shake your head at his wording and turn back to the table to start help Ms. Harley put all that crap away.

"How come you didn't say anything to Strider about all this damn stuff he brought? We have most of it here already. Seriously! Fucking towels, washcloths, plates, and silverware?! Apparently, he thinks we don't bathe and that we eat off of the floor! And does he think we're not going to fucking feed him!?"

Ms. Harley lets you finish your rant and when you're done she responds in her most motherly voice, the one you know she uses when she's trying to impart some form of wisdom to you.

"I had two reasons, Karkat. First, it's obvious how much Dave cares for his brother and I suspect that he's been taking care of him in a parental role for a lot longer than he's had custody of him. So I'm sure him sending all of the essentials for Dirk probably just comes as second nature to him now. And secondly, Dave definitely had some hang-ups about accepting us watching Dirk for no charge and I think him sending everything for him, including food, is probably just his way of making sure he's not taking advantage of us in any way possible. If we had insisted that we could provide all that, on top of watching Dirk, it could have made Dave back out of this or maybe made him feel that we don't think he's caring for Dirk well enough. We really don't know but we don't want to scare him away and have Dirk end up foster care or worse. Point being dear, this is a delicate situation we're in here and we need to be sensitive of that."

"Oh." You don't say anything else and just let that sink in because fuck, she's right. Ms. Harley doesn't say anymore on the subject either, knowing from your silence that you got her point or else you would have continued on with another rant. After you finish cleaning up, you join Dirk and Bec outside and play ninjas with him as you promised you would. 

Ms. Harley calls you both inside around six for dinner. She serves Dirk the food that Dave packed for him but makes sure that he knows he can have some of what she cooked too. He doesn't ask for any, but he does sneak a few bites from your plate.

Afterwards, you take Dirk up to his new room and get him set up with some paper and crayons so he can make some drawings to start decorating the walls with. As he is busy with this, you decide to get your laptop and message your friends since you've more or less ignored them since yesterday evening. At some point, they've all messaged you during your short hiatus with varying levels of concern. You decide to just open a memo to save yourself the hassle of having to message each of them individually. 

carcinoGeneticist [CG]  opened memo on board LISTEN UP TEAM ASSHOLE FACTORY. 

CG: ALRIGHT, SINCE NONE OF YOU LOSERS CAN LET ME HAVE 24 HOURS OF FUCKING PEACE TO MY GODDAMN SELF WITHOUT CONSTANTLY BARRAGING ME WITH MESSAGES, I FIGURED I'D LET YOU KNOW ALL AT ONCE THAT YES, I'M FUCKING FINE AND ALSO, I'M SORRY I MISSED OUR STUPID BULLSHIT FRIDAY MOVIE NIGHT.  


gallowsCalibrator [GC] responded to memo. 

GC: 1TS OK K4RK4T, W3 KN3W YOU W3R3 W1TH D4444V333 >;] 3MPH4S1S ON TH3 W1NK >;]  


twinArmageddons [TA] responded to memo. 

TA: yea kk, we ju2t fiigured you blew u2 off two fiinally go on that hot date you've been dreamiing about wiith 2triider  


CG: YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU BOTH! I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD BE MORE OFFENDED BY THE FACT THAT YOU THINK I WOULD BLOW YOU OFF TO GO ON A DATE WITH SOMEONE OR BY THE FACT THAT YOU THINK THAT SOMEONE WOULD BE DAVE STRIDER!! I'D RATHER FUCKING PROPEL MYSELF INTO THE SUN, FUCK YOU VERY MUCH.  


grimAuxillatrix [GA] responded to memo. 

GA: Hello Karkat Im Glad To Hear You Are Well  


GA: So What Was It That Had You Detained Last Evening And Today If It Was Not In Fact A Date With Dave  


CG: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!  


CG: HI, BY THE WAY, KANAYA. I JUST HAD SOMETHING COME UP OKAY? AND IT'S PRIVATE! SO NO MORE QUESTIONS, FROM ANYONE, ALRIGHT? I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU ALL KNOW THAT I'M OKAY AND NOT TO WORRY.  


TA: hahahaha yea iit wa2 defiintely a date with 2triider  


[CG] banned [TA] from responding to memo 

GC: OH K4RKAT, DONT G3T YOUR 4DOR4BL3 L1TTL3 P4NT13S IN A TW1ST, W3'R3 JUST M3SS1NG W1TH YOU! >:]  


CG: YEAH, OF COURSE YOU ARE! WHY WOULD ANY OF YOU MISS THE OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE A GOOD LAUGH AT MY EXPENSE WHEN I MAKE IT SO FUCKING EASY FOR YOU, RIGHT?! I SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHY I SUBJECT MYSELF TO YOU IDIOTS.  


GC: W3 LOV3 YOU TOO K4RKL3S  


arsenicCatnip [AC] responded to memo. 

AC: :33 < karkat! i am purrticularly happy to s33 that you're ok! we missed you last night  


CG: UGH! NEPETA, DON'T EVEN START WITH THOSE GOD DAMN CAT PUNS OR I SWEAR TO FUCK I WILL BLOCK YOUR ASS TOO. BUT YEAH, FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON I MISSED ALL OF YOU ASSHOLES LAST NIGHT TOO.  


AC: :33 < aw karkat that's sw33t!  


GC: >:O K4RK4T! 4R3 YOU G3TT1NG S3NT1M3NT4L ON US H3R3??? 1'M GO1NG TO H4V3 TO SCR33N SHOT THIS!  


CG: DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE TEREZI!!  


GC: H3H3H3H3 4LR34DY DON3. SOLLUX W1LL G3T A K1CK OUT OF 1T FOR SUR3 >;]  


CG: YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T EVEN GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE. AS PER USUAL, THIS HAS BEEN INFURIATINGLY EXHAUSTING SO I'M SHUTTING THIS SHITSHOW DOWN. I'LL SEE YOU FUCK STICKS ON MONDAY.  


[CG} closed memo.  


You close out of the chat window and take a deep breath. You're not really mad, maybe mildly irritated at best because yeah, your friends are as annoying as shit but they're pretty fucking great, too. You glance up at Dirk, who's still engrossed in his coloring, when you get a private chat notification.

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG]

GA: Hello Again Karkat  


GA: I Just Wanted To Make Sure You Really Are Okay  


CG: OH, HEY KANAYA. YEAH I'M FINE. WELL AT LEAST BY MY NORMAL FUCKED UP STANDARDS ANYWAY.  


GA: Okay Good  


GA: I Know We Have Not Been Friends For Very Long But I Would Like You To Know That If You Ever Need Anything Even Just To Talk Im Here For You  


CG: THANKS KANAYA, I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT. I KNOW THAT I'M AN ASSHOLE LIKE 99.9% OF THE TIME BUT I'M REALLY AM GLAD THAT WE’RE FRIENDS AND I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT THE SAME GOES FOR YOU IF YOU EVER NEED ANYTHING.  


GA: Thank You Karkat That Means A Lot And I Am Also Happy That We Became Friends.  


CG: (:B I'VE GOT TO GO NOW BUT I'LL TALK TO YOU TOMORROW. LATER.  


GA: Okay Goodbye Then  


carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering  grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

You close out of the chat and shut your laptop, setting it next to you on the floor. Dirk looks like he's about done with his drawings so you go over to your room and grab some tape.

"Hey Dirk, you ready to hang your pictures up?" you ask as you come back into the room.

"Yep." He gets up from the floor and runs over to climb up onto the queen-sized bed that had previously been set up for guests. You notice how little he looks and honestly, with how well he talks and how grown up he acts most of time, you’ve kind of forgotten that he's really only four years old. You can't help but wonder what's made him have to grow up so fast. 

"So, where do you want to hang the first one?" you ask.

"Right here," he points to a spot above the headboard.

"That's a good spot to start. What's it a picture of?"

"Dave riding a horse and fighting away monsters."

"Oh, cool." As you finishing hanging the first picture, you start on the next one.

"So what's this one of?" 

"Dave and a dragon that he just beat in an awesome sword fight." 

"Hmmm, they’re very nice," you look down at the rest of the pictures and you're noticing a pattern here. "You like to draw Dave beating the bad guys huh?"

"Heck yes! My brother's like a real superhero. He's strong and brave and he always keeps me safe no matter what. He always used to fight Bro to try to keep him away from me."

You frown a little at that, "Bro?"

"Yeah, he's our dad but he likes to be called Bro, I guess. He was big and scary and mean but Dave was never afraid of him, even when he would get hurt. I don't think anything could ever scare Dave. I wanna be just like him when I get big."

Fuck. Your heart aches and you feel nauseous but you force a small smile onto your face. "Sounds like Dave really is your superhero, I'm glad you have him." 

"Me too," he says and smiles widely back at you.

You don't prod anymore because it's not your place to be a nosey assholel. The two of you finish hanging up his drawings and by the time you're done, it's time for Dirk to get ready for bed. He does so without complaint and after his teeth are brushed, you take him back downstairs to say good night to Ms. Harley and Bec. He runs over to Bec first and gives him a big hug. When he's done, he walks hesitantly over to Ms. Harley and you can tell he's still nervous around her.

"Um, night Ms. J," he says, fidgeting back and forth.

"Good night, Dirk. Did you enjoy your first day with us?"

"Yea, it was cool. I really like your dog."

"I'm glad, he really likes you too," she says smiling at him. "Sleep tight, sweetheart."

"Thanks."

Dirk runs back over to you and lifts his arms up, wanting to be carried. You notice he likes to be carried after something has made him nervous. You don't mind though and scoop him up and give his back a few comforting pats. You direct your attention back to Ms. Harley, knowing that she'll be heading up to bed soon herself.

"Night Ms. Harley. I'll see you in the morning. Thanks for all your help today."

"Good night, dear. You did really good today.'' 

You return the smile she's giving you and then turn and leave the room. Back upstairs, you tuck Dirk and his plush horsey into bed. You can tell he's super tired but it still takes three stories and two sing-alongs of “Mary Had a Little Lamb” before he finally goes to sleep. 

You have a little over two hours left until Dave comes to pick him up so you decide to finish up the little bit of homework you have left. As promised, Dave shows up at 11:15 and, since Ms. Harley went to bed about the same time as Dirk, you're the one to let him in. 

"So how'd it go?" he asks.

"Really good. We played outside and he made some drawings to put up in his room. He's a really great kid."

"Yeah, he is," he smiles a bit.

"He's asleep upstairs if you want to come get him."

"Yeah, lead the way, man." 

You take him upstairs to Dirk’s room and he gently scoops him up from the bed and lays him against his chest, head resting on his shoulder. Dirk doesn't even flinch at the movement. This time, Dave leads and you follow him downstairs and to the front door.

"Do you need any of the stuff you brought over?" you ask as you open the door for him.

"Nah man, most of it can just stay here and if I need anything I'll just grab it tomorrow."

"You work from ten until seven tomorrow, right?"

"Yea, so I'll have him here at about 9:30 in the morning." 

"Okay, that sounds good. You sure you're going to be okay carrying him all the way to your apartment?" 

"Dude, don't pretend you haven't checked out these guns before," he says shifting Dirk so he can hold up one of his arms in a mock flex. "You know I'll be fine." 

"Oh my god Strider, you blithering, feculent shithole! I don't know why I even bother trying to talk to you. Go the fuck home before you make me rupture something with your complete and utter idiocy." He smirks at you and turns to go down the stairs. You call out to him when he reaches the bottom.

"Hey Dave?"

"Sup?" he turns his head back to look at you.

"All bullshit aside, I think you're a really amazing brother to Dirk." 

You see his mouth twist a little in confusion. "Oh. Thanks dude. Later."

He heads off again and you kind of feel like an idiot for telling him that but after your earlier conversation with Dirk, you just really wanted him to know that you thought that. 

Oh well. It's not like it's the first time that you've embarrassed yourself in front of Strider and you're sure as fuck that it won't be the last. You close the door and head back inside to try to get some sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a whole new respect for pesterlogs =P 
> 
> As always, hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading and the continued support! =) Let me know what you think!  
> Find me on Tumblr [ @ nuwanda717 ](//www.tumblr.com/blog/nuwanda717)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so even with breaking up this chapter already it was still going to be over 10,000 words, so I decided to break it up again.
> 
> * edited 3/22/18

Sunday goes by without any incidents. When Dave comes to pick up Dirk, Ms. Harley tries to get him to stay for dinner, but Dave declines and heads home after a few minutes of polite conversation. 

When Monday morning rolls around you find yourself beginning to get nervous about your presentation in English. You're sitting in class, waiting for your professor to start the day, trying not to fly off the fucking handle. Dave, however, could be the fucking poster child for absolute tranquility and you try to feed off of his calmness to keep your own nerves in check. It doesn't work.

"Dude, chill out. You're making me nervous and that's like a near impossibility. We don't even know if we're going to have to go up today. At least stop bouncing your damn leg."

"It's a miracle Strider, your asshole-laced words were the magical fucking antidote to calm my nerves. Who knew that all my life all I needed was a dick in shades to spout useless fucking bullshit at me? If I’d known, all my problems could’ve been solved ages ago!" 

"Man, all I heard from that sentence was asshole and something about a dick that spouts magic cures and I gotta say... that's pretty fucking gay, dude."

"You know what Strider? For someone who loves pointing out how “gay” I am and how "not homo" you are, you sure are the fucking one to jump to attention anytime dick or assholes are mentioned!"

"Nah bro, that's only because I'm so not gay that it's okay for me to point that shit out. I mean like seriously, not only am I not gay but it's like fundamentally my duty to society to not be. Ladies everywhere would be crying on each other's shoulders in devastation, like 'Oh Susie, I have nothing to live for now, Strider was my one true aspiration in life and now that he's gay nothing else matters' and Susie would be like 'Oh Vivian, I know what you mean, Strider was the living embodiment of pure, masculine perfection and now all the other guys just pale in comparison.' Marriages everywhere would begin to crumble, housewives across the world would have to realize that their subpar husbands just about as as good as it’s ever gonna get and they’d no longer be able to harbor their secret fantasies of one day obtaining a sordid affair with none other than Dave Strider himself, aka me. The president would have to issue a state of national emergency, all like 'Alright y'all, it has come to my attention that Strider has finally come out of the closet, but at this point we must remain calm. Gentleman, while I understand that a collective sigh of relief has spread throughout our male population at no longer having Strider as competition; I implore you to start hitting the gym and take some course studies in 'ill beats.' I realize that you can never reach true Strider status but you must try create this façade as much as possible to placate our women and prevent the riots in the street! And ladies, I ask that you please lower your standards, if even only little. Strider set an unobtainable standard for the rest of us and it is my greatest hope that you realize this and go easy on your men.‘" 

"Are you fucking serious right now Strider? Did that festering pile of bullshit seriously just come out of your mouth?! That is by far the most idiotic, misogynic, homophobic shit that I have ever had the absolute fucking misfortune of hearing and let me tell you, Strider, that's no small feat! And answer me this, has a woman ever looked at you without immediately turning skyward and erupting like a vomit volcano? Because I seriously doubt it! No, don't you even dare attempt to answer that! That's it, it's time-out for the idiot, the idiot gets time out everyone, so hopefully he'll shut up for one gd-damned second! You're the idiot by the way, Strider, incase that didn't penetrate your thick fucking skull. God fucking dammit, we should be preparing for our shithole of a presentation you insufferable prick because, contrary to what you may think, with my classically horrible luck, I just know we’re going first today! And I thought you were trying to help me calm the fuck down? Way to fucking turn the attention back to yourself you absolutely selfish, inconsiderate ass..." you trail off as Ms. Williams begins to speak and Dave leans over and whispers to you.

"Hey, your leg stopped shaking, didn't it?"

You give him your best, hate filled scowl and turn your attention back to your professor.

"... so we should be able to get through everybody by the end of this week, and I'll post everyone's grade that following Monday. So please, don't ask for yours in advance. Okay, so I did a random generator and our first pair to go today is Dave Strider and Karkat Vantas. Everyone please give them your undivided attention. Gentlemen, could you please come to the front of the class?" 

You shoot Dave your best, 'I fucking told you so, idiot!' glare which he returns with a half-hearted shrug and you both trudge up to the front of the class. Although you always get yourself worked up for stuff like this, once you actually begin talking, you're in your element. Surprisingly enough, Dave actually does pretty damn good himself and you get through the whole thing without fucking up to badly. You feel pretty confident that you and Dave aced it but Ms. Williams said she wouldn't be posting grades until next week, so you'll have to wait to find out for sure.

After class is dismissed, Dave waits for you and you walk out together, chatting as you wait for Terezi and Nepeta to join you.

"Dude, I think we fucking rocked that," he says, giving you a fist bump.

You shrug, "Yea, I'm pretty sure Ms. Williams looked ready to step down and let us teach the fucking class from now on."

"And you say I'm the narcissistic asshole?" Dave says with laugh.

"What's so funny, cool kid? You know I always love a good joke," Terezi says as her and Nepeta walk over to you.

"Ah nothing ‘Rez, just enjoying Karkat's god complex," he says, putting his neutral expression back in place.

"Oh god Strider, don't even get her fucking started on that one," you retort.

"You're lucky I can't be late to class Karkles ‘cuz I could spend all day harassing you about intricacies of your own grandiose," she says giving you a wink.

"Yeah, I'm well fucking aware considering you've done it before!"

Nepeta giggles and grabs Terezi's arm, gently pulling her away. "Alright boys, we gotta go so we're not late. Your report was purrrfect though! I'm sure you two got an A!" The two girls both wave and head off across campus.

"Later Nep’, later Terezi," Dave calls out and then turns back to you. "Soooo... what's your next class?"

"Chemistry, over in B building."

"Oh sweet, I have Biology in the same building. Wanna head over together?"

"Um, sure.. I mean, you know how much I enjoy keeping myself in a constant state of unbridled misery and irritation and who better to supply that than you?"

"Whatever dude, I know you're over there internally fangirling it up at the opportunity to bask in my presence even longer."

"If by ‘fangirling’ you mean completely regretting this fucking decision, than yeah, you're one-hundred percent right."

The two of you start the trek to your next classes, continuing your banter the entire way there. You squash down the smile that threatens to creep onto your face as you and Dave part ways. You have a harder time managing to do it again though when your Chemistry class ends and Dave is waiting for you when you exit the room.

The rest of the week progresses in much the same manner. Dave waits for you after your English and Chemistry classes and walks with you to your next ones. He brings Dirk over for you and Ms. Harley to watch on the nights he works; Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, which Dave says is pretty standard. Although the two of you have begun talking between classes and, in the short time that you see him when he picks up and drops off Dirk, you're still pretty surprised when you receive a non-Dirk related message from him on Pesterchum during of his days off of work.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TG: yo man I saw this great drawing of a dick while I was riding the bus and it made me think of you  


CG: I'M NOT SURE IF THIS IS LEADING UP TO A JOKE ABOUT MY PERSONALITY, SEXUALITY, OR SOME GREAT REVELATION ABOUT YOURSELF.  


TG: well it was a pretty big dick so i guess i could take it in a lot of ways  


CG: DO YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW SOME OF THE SHIT YOU SAY COMES ACROSS?! I'M LITERALLY FACE PALMING AT THE SEXUAL IMPLICATION OF THAT SENTENCE.  


TG: ....BUT in this instance i was actually going to reference your appearance bro  


CG: WOW! JUST FUCKING WOW! SOMEHOW YOU MANAGE TO BE MORE INSULTING THAN I EVEN IMAGINED YOU WOULD!  


TG: nah bro its just someone drew a face on it and it had these incredibly angry eyebrows and man seriously it could have been your twin in dick form  


CG: I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO DIGNIFY THAT WITH A RESPONSE, STRIDER. WAS THERE A POINT TO THESE MIND NUMBINGLY IMBECILIC TEXTS OR WAS YOUR ONLY INTENT TO MAKE ME LOSE SOME BRAIN CELLS HAVING TO READ THROUGH THAT INANE BULLSHIT?  


TG: i know you dont have any extra to lose so i wouldnt do that to you dude  


TG: i just figured you were probably missing me so thought id message you and add some much needed excitement to your life  


CG: THE DAY I NEED YOU TO ADD EXCITEMENT TO MY LIFE WILL BE THE DAY I'VE OFFICIALLY HIT ROCK FUCKING BOTTOM. I'LL JUST FUKCING DISSOLVE INTO MY SURROUNDINGS, CEASING TO EXIST BECAUSE MY LIFE WOULD LITERALLY HAVE BECOME THE COSMIC JOKE THAT I'VE ALWAYS KNOWN IT TO BE.  


TG: denial aint just a river in egypt karkat  


The two of you continue talking for at least another hour, trading barbs and eventually talking about the most meaningless things you both can think of. That first text conversation seemed to have opened the door for more as you and Dave start regularly messaging everyday now, topics ranging from anything as mundane as a professor that pissed you off, to your favorite music and movies and most importantly; all the cute shit that Dirk does. 

And, despite Strider's penchant for being able to throw you into a bitch fit, you find yourself enjoying talking to him, definitely more than you ever thought possible. He doesn't get irritated when you go on a rant or throw a shit fit about something. He just goes on his own tangents and effectively either tries to piss you off more or calm you down, depending on the situation. He also doesn't get offended at any of the insults you throw his way, either deflecting them or returning them in kind. 

It's nice and easy and fun and of course, it doesn't last. 

It's on a Monday, about midway through October, when things take a shift. You're having lunch with your usual group of friends, Nep, Terezi, Sollux and Kanaya, when you see Dave walk by. You call out to him, waving him over.

"Sup?" 

"Hey... I just wanted to see if you wanted to eat lunch with us?"

"You totally should Strider. KK talks about you all the time so if you’re here, he might actually shut the fuck up for once," Sollux injects into the conversation.

"Shut the fuck up Sollux," you yell as you punch him in his arm and turn back to Dave. He's giving you a weird look that you can't read and it's not just due to his shades, his mouth has a definite downwards turn to it.

"Nah, I'm good bro, I got other shit I gotta do right now. Later."

You frown at Dave as he walks away because you're not quite sure what just happened but you try not to over-analyze it and instead go back to bitching at Sollux for the remainder of your lunch period.

You can't help but notice that Dave doesn't text you the rest of the day and even when you send him a few short texts he doesn't respond. When he drops off and picks up Dirk that night, he's really short with you and ignores your attempts to try to get him into a conversation. Even Ms. Harley notices the change and questions you about it.

"Is everything okay between you and Dave, sweetheart?" 

"I don't know. I think I fucked up though. I asked him to eat lunch with us today and he got real weird about it and said he had shit to do and he's been ignoring me ever since."

"Hmmm... Well, I'm sure he'll come around, dear. He's probably just having trouble getting used to all this," she tries to reassure you.

"Yea, maybe you’re right. I'm going to go to bed. Night," you mumble in response and head up to your room. You text Dave a quick "Hey" but you still don't hear back from him. You don't sleep much that night. 

\-----

The next day at school Dave doesn't wait for you after your classes and again, no matter how much you check your phone, he doesn't text you. You let his stoney indifference continue on until Friday, when you again spot him while you’re having lunch with your friends. This time, instead of calling him over, you decide to go over to him to talk. You have to jog to catch up to him.

"Hey, Dave?" 

He turns and you can tell he's irritated. "What now?"

"Um, I just... I just wanted to see if you wanted to have lunch us?"

Dave looks up at nothing in particular and lets out a heavy sigh.

"Look Karkat, I appreciate that you and Ms. J are watching my lil bro for me, I really do…, but just ‘cuz you're watchin’ him don't mean I wanna be your friend, you get me?”

You can't stop the hurt look that crosses your face because yeah, you can't blame him for that. You wouldn't want to be friends with you either.

"Oh.... Yeah, I get it. Sorry. I just… I know you get along with Terezi and Nepeta... and just thought you might want to eat with us."

Dave heaves out a sigh again, obviously not wanting to deal with your bullshit. 

"Look Karkat, I'm sure you're having a great fuckin’ time tellin’ all your friends the sob story of how you came to 'poor Dave fucking Strider's' rescue and all that, but I really don't appreciate you telling people about my private life. So, no, I don't wanna have lunch with you or your friends! So just... fuck off, ‘kay?"

He turns away, apparently dismissing you, but you grab his upper arm and turn him back to face you because like fucking hell are you just going to let him get away without explaining himself first.

"What the actual fuck are you talking about Strider? I haven't fucking told anyone anything about you!"

"Oh please, Karkat! Your fuckin’ friend with the lisp said you had been talking about me non-stop and I hope you don’t think I’m fuckin’ stupid enough not to know exactly what the fuckin’ subject was.”

"What? You mean Sollux?" Suddenly everything clicks into place and oh boy are you pissed. 

"Are you fucking kidding me right now, Strider?! He was fucking giving me shit because him and Terezi keep joking that I ditched them that Friday night I met you at your job to go on a fucking date with you!! Which, don't even give me that fucking look Strider, because trust me... it makes me want to puke, too. But I haven't said one motherfucking word about you or Dirk to anyone. My closest fucking friends don't even know that I'm watching him. So honestly? Fuck you for thinking that I would ever fucking blab about something like that. Go fuck yourself, Strider." 

You turn to leave and this time it's Dave that grabs your arm to turn you around.

"Hey…” he says and you can see regret cross his face. “Even if this last week hadn't happened, I still wouldn't have been able to eat lunch with y'all because I gotta go to therapy sessions during lunch... and I take Dirk to his sessions after he gets out of school. S’why I don't start work until five on the weekdays. The therapy's court mandated and uh... yea... no one else aside from my case worker knows about it..."

You just stare at him in silence for a moment, letting all that sink in. You're pretty sure that him trusting you with that bit of info was his ass backwards way of saying he was sorry for not trusting you to begin with. You’re not really sure how to take that though, you're still hurt and fucking pissed. Dave's standing there nervously rubbing the back of his neck and you're mad at yourself for having the urge to comfort him right now. You decide to go with a neutral response instead, because honestly you need some fucking time to reflect on everything that just happened.

"Oh. I guess you need to get going then so you're not late..." you say in a quiet voice.

"Yeah... I guess. So, I'll uh... talk to you later?" He walks away with a wave and you head back to your friends and flop down into your seat, feeling deflated.

"You okay, Karkat?" Terezi asks, the first to break the hush that’s fallen over your group.

"Yeah," you respond and you see her and Sollux exchange a glance, knowing that when you don't have anything to say, something is definitely wrong.

"Did something happen between you and Dave?" Kanaya tries next.

"Nope, everything's great."

"You look sad though, Karkitty. You should talk to us, it's not good to keep things bottled up," Nepeta attempts and you’re getting ready to walk away because you really don't want to talk about anything right now. Sollux, that magnificent bastard, comes to your rescue though so you don't have to abscond the uck out of there. Even though he can be the snarkiest asshole, he really is a damn good friend and after all these years of friendship he can read you like a book, knowing you just want to be left the fuck alone right now. 

"Hey guys..." he interrupts, "Have you decided what you're going to dress up as for TZ's Halloween party yet?"

Terezi catches on and helps out, "I was thinking of maybe being a sexy dragon."

"How is a dragon considered sexy TZ?"

"Any costume I wear becomes sexy by default, duhh! What about you Nep’?" 

"Oh, maybe a kitty or something like that, as long as it's cute..."

Kanaya stares at you for a few more minutes but she eventually joins their conversations as well and you're grateful. After lunch, you finish the rest of your classes for the day and then head home. You seek out Ms. Harley and find her in her garden, harvesting some of the last of the fall crops. You join her and begin helping her out. You're still not really in the mood to talk, instead you just want the comfort that her presence supplies you. She picks up on your mood and the two of you work side by side in silence for the better part of an hour. When it's approaching 4:30, Ms. Harley stands up, brushing herself off, and finally breaks the quiet.

"Do you want me to answer the door when Dave gets here with Dirk?" 

"Yes, please."

She nods and offers you a hand to help you up and you walk back to the house, side by side. She veers off to the kitchen to wash up and you head upstairs to your room to sulk on your bed. 

It's not much longer that you hear Dave arrive and you stay tense until you hear him leave. A few minutes later you hear Dirk running up the stairs and then a small knock on your door.

"Come in."

He opens the door and runs over to your bed, not hesitating to climb up and sit next you.

"Hi dude. Are you okay?" he asks you.

"Yeah little guy, I'm all good. Why?"

"I dunno... you just seem kinda sad this week." 

"Oh. No, no, I'm fine, I've just had a lot of homework and I've been tired."

"Oh! That was Dave's problem, too."

"Huh?"

"My bro's been acting weird all week too and when I asked him he said he's just been tired ‘cuz of all the homework he has. Maybe y’all should talk to your teachers or somethin’."

"Yeah, maybe we should," you reply. You wonder if Dave's been just as upset by all this as you have been.

"So what we gonna do today?" 

"Oh, Ms. Harley wants to decorate the front porch for Halloween. Do you want to help?"

"Are you gonna help too?"

"Of course," you answer with a small smile.

"Then yea! Let’s go," he answers excitedly and grabs your hand and pulls you down stairs.

The three of you spend the rest of the evening decorating the porch and then inside the house once that's done, only breaking to have dinner. Dirk is super excited the whole time and when you're putting him to bed that night, you find out why.

"I think all the decorations look really good. Did you have fun helping?"

"Yea man, it was soooo cool!! I never got to decorate for anything before!"

"Not even for Christmas?"

Dirk gives you a small frown. "Well not really, Dave tried to decorate for me one year but Bro got reeeeally mad and ripped it all down. Dave got in big trouble for it."

Dirk's voice breaks and you can tell he's about to cry. You couldn't feel like a bigger asshole right now and you try to fix it.

"That wasn't very nice of him but hey... I bet Dave is going to be really happy when he sees the decorations you put up. We had some things left over too, I can put them in your bag and maybe tomorrow, you and your brother can decorate your place with them."

"That would be so awesome! Thanks Karkat!" He sits up in bed and gives you a big hug. You return it wholeheartedly and don't pull away until he does. After you get him tucked back into bed you read him the three stories and sing the two songs that have now become his typical bedtime fare. After he's asleep you head back downstairs to grab a snack. You're surprised to find Ms. Harley still awake and sitting at the kitchen table.

"Oh hey. I thought you'd be asleep already."

"I just wanted to make sure I didn't need to wait up for Dave tonight."

"No, I'll be okay," you say as you walk over and join her at the table.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really. Dave just assumed something that was completely fucking wrong and I, like usual, completely over reacted and let it hurt my feelings. I'll be okay though."

Ms. Harley doesn't say anything and just reaches over and squeezes your hand. You sit there with her, hand in hand, for several minutes before you break away from the contact and stand up.

"I'm going to go work on my homework until Dave gets here."

"Okay dear, if you need anything or if you change your mind, just wake me up."

You nod and start for your room but turn around before you get far.

"Thank you," you say in a small voice.

She smiles back and you and you turn and finish your trek back to your room. You try to work on your homework but the only thing you really manage to do is get yourself worked up for when Dave arrives. You're not sure how he's going to act toward you and you're not sure how you should act toward him. You waste time making up every possible scenario in your head and finally, you hear the soft knock that signals that he's here. Fuck. 

You take a deep breath and go downstairs to let him in. When you open the door, Dave just stands there and you swear he's the only motherfucker on the face of the planet that somehow manages to be more awkward than you.

"Hey." 

"Hey."

"Uh, so.... um… yeah..."

"Are you gonna fucking come in or what, Strider? It's fucking cold as hell outside." 

"Oh! Shit. Yeah, sorry..." 

He steps in and you slam the door, probably way too hard because you see him flinch. You don't say anything though. You head up the stairs to Dirk's room and Dave follows behind you. He scoops Dirk into his arms and starts back toward the stairs. You're unsure if you should follow him but you remember the decorations you promised Dirk and that makes the decision for you.

At the door, Dave turns around and looks at you expectantly but you just grab the bag of Halloween stuff and thrust it towards him.

"We decorated for Halloween tonight, obviously. Dirk had a lot of fun so I told him he could take some stuff home."

"Oh yea? Thanks man, that was really nice of you."

"Yep," you say and cross your arms over yourself protectively.

"Shit," you hear Dave quietly mumble before he continues, "Karkat, look, I... I uh... fuck. I- I have to get going, thanks for watching Dirk,"

"Yeah," you say again and Dave starts off down the stairs. He stops at the bottom and turns and looks at you again and opens his mouth like he's going to start saying something. He hesitates though and snaps it back shut and heads off back down the sidewalk. You slam the door again and the petty side of you hopes he heard it but either way it doesn't make you feel better. You grab one of your favorite novels off of the bookshelf in the living room and head back up to your room, already anticipating a long and sleepless night.

\-----

The next morning you wake up early, despite your rough night and you head down to eat some breakfast. You start some coffee brewing and make yourself some toast with almond butter. After your coffee is ready, you head out to the back porch to eat with Ms. Harley. After you exchange pleasantries, you sit in companionable silence while you finish eating. You have just a few drinks of coffee left when your phone pings, alerting you that you’ve got a message. You frown when you see its from Dave and don't respond right away. Dave just keeps messaging you though.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TG: yo  


TG: karkat  


TG: you awake  


TG: dude  


TG: dude  


TG: dude  


TG: dirk says wake up man and i know you wouldnt wanna disappoint a four year old  


TG: hes got tears in his eyes now do you seriously want to make a little kid cry karkat thats fuckin cold  


CG: SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK, WHAT THE HELL COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT THIS EARLY?! I DIDN'T BLOW UP YOUR PHONE WHEN YOU IGNORED MY TEXTS, STRIDER!  


TG: ...yea im kind of a complete asshole if you hadnt noticed  


CG: OH, DON’T YOU WORRY, I DEFINITELY FUCKING NOTICED.  


TG: great now that we cleared that up i wanted to see if you wanted to go to the park with me and dirk this morning  


TG: i mean i dont work til three today and dirk would be totally stoked if you came were going to the same one you took him to that first night  


CG: ...  


TG: so is that a yes or...  


You look up from your phone and glance over at Ms. Harley, "Dave invited me to come to the park with him and Dirk today."

"That's very nice of him. Are you going to go?"

"I don't know," you say as you bite your bottom lip.

"I'm sure Dirk would be excited if you did and you could even take Bec if you want."

You know that this is her subtle way of giving her opinion on whether you should go and you decide to head her unspoken advice.

CG: YEAH, I GUESS IT IS. WHAT TIME SHOULD I MEET YOU THERE?  


TG: awesome dude well be there at like ten  


CG: OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU THEN.  


TG: later  


turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG]

You let Ms. Harley know that you decided to go and she nods her approval. You still have over an hour until you have to leave so you go upstairs to shower and get dressed. When you're done, you head to the kitchen and pack a small bag of snacks. It's almost 9:45 so you put Bec's harness and leash on him, say goodbye to Ms. Harley and then head out for the park. You're surprised to see that the Strider's are already there when you arrive.

"Yo dog," Dave greets as you arrive and you reciprocate with a wave. Dirk is much more enthusiastic.

"Karkat!" he yells, jumping off of the swing he had been playing on and runs over to give you a hug. You're quickly forgotten though, as he notices the fluffy, white dog at your side.

"You brought Bec?!" He starts petting him instantly. Since there aren't any kids around, you let Bec off of his leash and the two go off to play. You join Dave on the bench, leaving a good bit space between yourselves. 

"Thanks for coming man. I think you just made Dirk's day."

"Yep," you reply, reverting to last nights curtness.

"Sooooooo...."

"So..."

"Okay... Look Karkat," he turns to face you and although you look at him, you keep your body facing forward. "I fucked up okay? It's just.. I- I wasn't completely convinced there wasn't some fucked up ulterior motive for you helping me out and when Lispy Dude said you'd been talking about me I just... sorta figured that that was your motive. Like, you know those people who go to church just so they can boast about how much better they are then the rest of us 'sinners'? Well I guess I figured you were one of those people who do nice shit for people so you can tell everyone about how great you because you do that nice shit. And I was wrong and I... I'm sorry man."

"Sollux."

"What?"

"Sollux. 'Lispy Dude'. His fucking name is Sollux." 

"Shit... Right, um Sollux. Sorry."

"So why didn't you just ask me about it?"

"About Lispy Dude's name?"

"OH MY FUCKING GOD! No, dumbass! About whether I was blabbing about you behind your back or not?"

"Oh. I dunno... Guess I was just so dead set on that being what you were doing and I was pissed and wasn't really thinkin’. I mean... we've established that I am an asshole, so there's that."

You let out a snort. "Alright but just so we're clear and for future fucking reference, I have not, nor will I ever, gossip to anyone about your private fucking shit. I may relentlessly tell people what an ass chaffing idiot you are but that's common fucking knowledge and doesn't count."

Dave chuckles and shakes his head. "Alright bro. So… we cool then?" He holds out his fist you.

"Well you're not cool by any definition, but if you mean this shit between us then yeah, we're good," you say and bump his fist. "... Do you really go to therapy?"

"...Yea and it kinda fuckin’ sucks. I mean... I guess it's helping, especially Dirk. It was… is… just hard to admit that your fucked up enough that you need therapy for it."

"Yeah, I get that. Why did you tell me about though?"

"’Cuz that shits like mad private and embarrassing and in the moment I guess it was the best way to show you that I do trust you. Ultimate bro code and all that shit."

"Hhmm, well I am pretty much an expert in bro code so don't worry. Should we go see what Dirk and Bec are up to?"

"Sure, man."

The two of you head over and you spend the next hour following Dirk around and playing whatever he wants. He complains that he's getting hungry so the three of you head back to the bench and you and Dave lay out the various snacks you both brought and let Dirk take his pick. You also set up a bowl of water for Bec and then sit back down and grab an apple for yourself.

"Oh hey Strider?"

"Yeah?"

"Terezi's having a Halloween party next Saturday and I wanted to see if you wanted to go? I would have told you about it sooner but you know... you threw your asshole shit-fit and all." 

He ignores your barb and only acknowledges the part about the party. "Saturday? I don't know, I'm pretty sure I'll have to work that night... And then I'll have Dirk, of course."

"Well, Ms. Harley already said she wouldn't mind watching Dirk if I went and I'm like a thousand percent sure she won't mind if you go too. And the party doesn't actually begin until nine so you could come after you get off of work."

He thinks for a moment before replying. "Okay, yeah. Maybe I can try to get out early that night too."

"Nice, I'll let Terezi know then. Just a forewarning though, you have to wear a costume or Terezi will jump your ass. It's like a big deal to her for some damn reason."

Dave nods and you both go back to eating. After you're all finishing up, Dave lets his brother know that he has about another thirty minutes to play before they have to head home. Dirk leads Bec over to the sand box and begins to build a castle. After you and Dave clean up from lunch, you both go over and join him and build the best damn sand castle any of you have ever seen, which isn't really saying much. 

It's about 12:30 when Dave declares it's time for them to head home so he can get ready for work, so you leash Bec back up and wave goodbye. You head back home where you let Ms. Harley know that you'll answer the door when Dave brings over Dirk later. You receive a very happy smile from her in response and you're a little embarrassed to admit that you return her happy smile wholeheartedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr [ @ nuwanda717 ](//www.tumblr.com/blog/nuwanda717)


	11. Chapter 11

The rest of the week things semi return to normal. You and Dave are still a little awkward around each other and a little quieter than you were before but he's resumed walking with you between classes and you begin texting again, although it's mostly about Terezi's party. Dave was able to talk his boss into letting him out early that night, 8 pm, and the two of you decide that you'll head to the party together after you get Dirk to sleep.

When Friday rolls around, you have your costume set and you spend most of the day playing outside with Dirk so that he will be nice and worn out and hopefully go to sleep easily. You're plan works and half an hour after Dave arrives from work Dirk is out cold. You and Dave get ready at the same time, you in your room and Dave in the bathroom down the hall. You hear a knock at your door just as you're finishing up with your costume. You grab your phone and keys off of your dresser and open your bedroom door. Dave's standing there, of course, but you have a moment of speechlessness as you take in his costume but that doesn't last long.

"Are you fucking serious Strider? You're going as Robin? That's like literally the lamest thing you could have picked. You could have at least been Batman."

"Nah man, Dirk's going to be Batman. You're just jealous of my rad as fuck cape."

"I have a cape too fucker."

"Yea but yours is a gay vampire cape, that doesn't count. And my costume might be lame but at least it's not as unoriginal as a vampire. How'd you even choose that. You just close your eyes and reach into the bargain bin down at the good ole Save-a-lot?"

"Fuck you, I'm matching with Kanaya and she made it for me so you better not talk shit about it in front of her. And how many times do I have to tell you not to use 'gay' as a fucking insult?!"

"Sorry dude but sometimes things are just really fucking gay and that costume is one of those things."

"God, you have sounding stupid down to a science, you should have worn a lab coat and carried around test tubes, we could have called you doctor brain professor. Come on, let's get going before I change my mind about being seen with you."

Dave snorts but follows you downstairs where you both say goodbye to Ms. Harley and then you head over to Terezi's place. It's a decent size house that she rents out with a couple other girls from campus, including Nepeta, Kanaya and some bitch named Vriska who you hate with every fiber of your being.

You knock on the front door and after a few moments Terezi answers and lets you both in. Once she closes the door, she turns and gives you a hug but doesn't let go all the way, instead hanging onto your side and you know she's already been drinking.

"Karkat! Dave! You guys made it!" She leans up and gives you kiss right on your mouth. You don't instantly pull away, knowing from experience that her feelings will be hurt if you do but you place a hand on her waist and gently push her away after a moment.

"You always taste just as delicious as I remember Karkat."

"I think you should slow down on the booze for a little bit Terezi, I think I got drunk just from kissing you." She cackles at you and turns her attention to Dave.

"Hey cool kid. I like your cape, very sexy."

"Thanks Rez, I've been trying to tell Karkat that the ladies would love it but he didn't believe me."

"Yeah, he probably just didn't want to have to share you with us tonight." she winks and runs off before you can reply. "Have fun tonight guys, drinks are in the kitchen," she yells over her shoulder.

"Dude, what was that about?"

"That whole fucking thing I told you about her and Sollux thinking they're hilarious by insinuating that I have a crush on you."

"No, I mean how she kissed you. Are you guys like a thing or something?"

"Oh, no. I mean we dated for while in high school but she just gets a little touchy feely with me still when she drinks."

"Nice. Terezi's fucking hot as shit dude."

"Fuck off Strider, she's fucking beautiful, get it right."

"Point taken, wanna go grab a drink."

"Yeah, might as well start early if I might have to interact with Vriska at some point tonight."

You lead Dave to the kitchen and you both grab a mixed drink that has waaaay to much vodka in it and head back out to greet the rest of your friends. You spend some time bullshitting with Nepeta and Sollux before Dave gets dragged away by Terezi to dance. Nepeta follows her lead and grabs your hand and you've had enough to drink already that you follow her without complaint. You spend quite a bit of time dancing, alternating between dancing with all of your friends. You can't really dance but you're happy and tipsy enough not to care tonight. You're the first one to take a break from it though and you head over to an empty couch and sit down. Nepeta follows after you and you're not all that surprised when she plops down on your lap. You tense up a little but the last thing you want to do is hurt her feelings so you don't move her yet.

"You ok Nep?"

She giggles," I'm great Karkitty and I think your purrrty great too." Alright so she's pretty drunk you think, which is either going to make this easier or harder.

"I think you're great too Nepeta and I'm really glad we're friends. I don't want anything to ever, ever change that."

"Oh." She quiet for a minute and you think that she got what you meant when she leans in a gives you a quick peck on your lips. "You're sure?"

You brush her hair out of her face, "Yeah, I'm sure."

"Okay, well I'm glad we're friends too then. I'm going to go dance some more."

You watch her go back over to where everyone's still dancing and you get up from the couch and head upstairs to Terezi's bedroom. You need a break from shit and once you're in her room you open up her window and climb out onto the roof of the back porch. You sit down with your back against the wall and pull your knees up to your chest and let out a heavy sigh as you look up at the night sky. You're not out there very long when you hear someone enter Terezi's room and come to the window. You look over, expecting to see Terezi or maybe Sollux and you're shocked when you see Dave instead.

He climbs out and comes and sits down a few feet from you, back also against the wall.

"You alright bro?"

"Yeah, I'm good I just needed some space for a little bit."

"The girls sure are all over you tonight."

You snort, "Yeah, it must be the costume."

"Yea maybe. I mean 'no homo' or anything but you do kind of make a cute vampire."

You give a dramatic eye roll but otherwise don't respond.

"So, Nepeta seemed pretty into you tonight."

"Yeah, I think she's had a crush on me for awhile but she decided to act on tonight."

"You're not into her?"

"No. I mean Nepeta's sweet and cute as hell and really she'd make anyone a great girlfriend but she reminds me too much of my sister."

"The one that passed away?"

"Yeah. She's the only sister I have. Or had I guess."

"Oh. What was her name?"

"Karmen. I think you and Dirk would have liked her."

"If she was anything like you, I know we would have man."

"No, she wasn't like me at all. She was sweet and good and kind and nice to everyone.... It's been over 10 years and I still fucking miss her so much."

Dave has a slight frown on his face but instead of saying anything he scoots over closer to you. You're not touching but you can feel the warmth radiating off of him. He pulls out his phone and scrolls through it a moment before plugging in his ear buds and offering one to you. You take it and fit it into you left ear as Dave does the same to his right. He's put on some soft instrumentals, you don't recognize the song but it's mellow and soothing. You sit there listening to it together as you look up at the stars. You can't help but let out a laugh though when the next song that comes on is fucking 'Gin and Juice' but you keep listening and Dave just shrugs and smiles at you. You stay out on the roof listening to the most random mix of music you've ever heard for a good 45 minutes. Finally, when you're not feeling so down anymore, you hand the ear bud back to Dave and stand up. He puts his phone away and does the same.

"We should probably get back inside before Terezi and Sollux notice and have a fucking field day."

"Yea, probably. You good tho bro?"

"I am now. Thanks."

He gives you a slight nod and climbs back in through the window and you follow after him. You join your friends back downstairs and the party has started to wind down some, so you all sit around talking and laughing until well after 3 in the morning. You and Dave finally decide to head home and you say your goodbyes to everyone. On the walk home you're both quiet but this time it's not because of awkward tension. When you get home, Dirk and Ms. Harley are both still asleep and you grab some blankets for Dave and take him to the remaining guest room.

" I had a good time tonight, thanks for inviting me dude."

"Yeah it wasn't as miserable as I thought it would be."

He lets out a snort and goes to sit on the bed, " Night bro."

"Night Strider." You head back to your own room and even in your overly tired and slightly inebriated state you can't help but realize how happy you are that things are good between you and Dave again. You fall asleep soon after your head hits your pillow.

\--

The next morning you wake up around nine and the first thing that you do is go and check on Dirk. He's not in bed anymore and so you head downstairs. You find both him and Dave on the back porch with Ms. Harley. Dave's sitting in your normal seat and Dirk's nestled in his lap, reading one of his small story books. Dave and Ms. Harley are talking and you stop in the doorway and listen to them for a little bit, not wanting to interrupt.

"You weren't scared to be on your own?" Dave asks Ms. Harley, his full attention on her.

"I was, it was terrifying really but that was part of the excitement."

"You're kind of a bad ass Ms. J."

"I've been called a lot of things in my life," she says laughing, " but that's a new one! Also, I think it may be my new favorite too."

Dave looks like he just won the lottery and you can so relate because even after all this time you still feel like that when you make Ms. Harley laugh. You take the lull in the conversation to make your presence known.

"Morning."

"Ah shit, finally Karkat. I was starting to think you mighta morphed into an actual vampire, unable to join the living in the light of day."

"It's literally not even 9:30 yet asswipe."

Ms. Harley giggles. "Good Morning dear. Did you sleep well?"

"Better than I have been lately," you say with a shrug.

"You must have worn yourself out with all those sick moves you were doing on the dance floor."

"Karkat danced?"

"Oh yeah, it was glorious Ms. J. I didn't even know he could loosen up enough to move like that." Ms. Harley lets out another giggle at that.

"Maybe I should have went the actual vampire route Strider because being a member of the living dead would have been preferable to waking up and having to listen to the two of you have a great little chuckle at my expense. I'm not ever fucking taking part in any activity that could be construed as fun ever again. I will just fucking seek out a corner where ever I am and sulk in the overbearing patheticness of my own miserable existence, since apparently I can't partake in any normal activities without again becoming the brunt of everyone's joke."

"That's nice sweetie. If you don't think its too fun of an activity, I put on a pot of coffee for you a little while ago. If it is though, we can clear out that corner over there for you," Ms. Harley says and this time her and Dave both laugh.

You throw up your hands and stomp dramatically out of the room. You put on a good show but really you enjoy the back and forth, as long as it's done in good humor. Ms. Harley knows that but you don't think Dave does because he joins in the kitchen a minutes later.

"Hey man, can I get a cup of coffee?" he asks as he leans against the counter to your left.

"I don't know, I might not be able to loosen up enough to pour it."

He snorts, "I actually thought you were a pretty good dancer bro."

"Now you're just lying. I'd rather have you make fun of me then fucking lie to me."

"No, I mean it. There was a reason everyone wanted to dance with you dude."

You just shake your head at him but there's a small smile on your lips. You grab a mug out of the cabinet and pour him some coffee.

"How do you take it?"

"Cream and a fuck ton of sugar."

"God, you are such a child," you say and roll your eyes at him.

After you've added what you hope is enough sweetener, you hand the mug to Dave and he reads the front of it.

"Number 1 Mom?" he questions.

"It suits you."

"I think you mean #1 Daddy," he lowers his shades and winks at you.

This time its you who snorts. "You are such an arrogant shitstain."

"Hey you're the one that wants to call me Daddy."

"Its way too early to hear about your sick fucking fantasies Strider." You start back towards the porch and Dave trails behind you.

"So that means you want to hear about them later then, right?"

You glare back at him but since you've reached the back porch you don't reply. Dirk has moved over to Ms. Harleys lap and she has taken over reading the book to him but pauses when you and Dave come back into the room. You walk over to Dirk and give him a fist bump and he smiles sleepily up at you.

"I'm going to make breakfast soon if you and Dirk would like to stay," Ms. Harley says to Dave.

He seems to consider it but ultimately responds, "Nah, I think we're going to head home soon. I've got a bunch of homework to do and I like never have a Sunday off so I should probably use it to be somewhat productive."

"Ah, pleeeeaaassssseeee bro. I want to stay!"

"No, sorry little guy but we gotta go home. I bet your fishies miss you and I know they're hungry."

These seem to be valid reasons for Dirk because he doesn't argue anymore and instead jumps down from Ms. Harley's lap and runs over too Dave. Dave gulps the rest of his coffee down and sets his cup down before he picks Dirk up.

"You got everything you need little dude?" Dirk nods and Dave picks up a bag that you hadn't noticed from the floor.

"Alright, so thanks for the coffee and for the talk Ms. J. I guess we'll get going now. Oh, I don't work tomorrow cuz I took off for Halloween but is it okay if I bring Dirk over while were out trick or treating?"

"Of course sweetie. I'd be really sad if I didn't get to see Dirks costume, I bet it's really cool," Ms. Harley says and Dirk gives her smile.

"Cool, say bye to Karkat and Ms. J little man."

"Bye," he says to both of you at once, giving a small wave as he does so. You and Ms. Harley both return it and say your good byes as well. They head out the front door and you and Ms. Harley head to the kitchen to make some breakfast for yourselves. You enjoy a leisurely meal together and talk about the party and other random things as you both eat. After you've finished, you both start cleaning up the kitchen and you had just started on the dishes when you hear a knock on the door. You exchange a surprised look with Ms. Harley because you're not expecting anyone and you follow her as she heads to the front door and opens it. You definitely weren't expecting it to be Dave standing there but it is.

From the stiff way he's standing and the slight downward turn of his mouth you can tell right away that's something's wrong. He's holding Dirk, who's clutched tightly too him with his head buried in his chest. Ms. Harley steps aside to let them in and closes the door behind them.

"Is everything okay dear?"

"Yes.. I mean no... not really. Uh, there was this notice on my door when I got back to my apartment," he says handing Ms. Harley a slip of paper. You step closer and read it over her shoulder.

"They're raising your fucking rent?"

"Apparently. Uh.. so I can't fucking afford that shit at the rate I'm going. I mean shit, I can barely afford it as it is and it's the cheapest place in this city. But anyways, I don't really have any other option but to work more hours or get another job and when I do that I'm not really going to be able to keep up with school anymore so I'm going to have to drop out.. for now. And I know that was like your one stipulation about watching Dirk and I wanted to let you know that I completely fucking understand and I mean it's ok really because I would have never asked you to watch him even more than you already do now. Uh.. so I just wanted to come over and let you know that you wouldn't have to watch Dirk anymore... fuck, I probably should have let you know I was coming back, sorry.... um and I can take all the stuff we have here back home. I'm sure you don't want it sitting around, junking up your house. I'll still bring Dirk by on Halloween though... I mean if that's okay still?"

As Dave is talking, you and Ms. Harley share a look because you've already talked about the ridiculous schedule Dave's been trying to maintain and you've been waiting for an opportunity to bring it up. You plan to let Ms. Harley handle it because she has a lot more tact than you do but in true Karkat fashion you can't stop yourself from blurting something out as soon as Dave finishes talking.

"Dude, fuck your job and fuck that piece of shit apartment!!"

"Man, seriously. It's such bullshit but there's nothing I can do."

Ms. Harley pust her hand on your shoulder and interjects into yours and Dave's eloquent conversation.

"I think what Karkat is trying to say here is that would you consider moving in here? With us. We still have an extra room and Dirk already has a room."

Dave looks shocked, obviously not expecting this turn of events. He hesitates before answering.

"Uh, I don't Ms. J , that's a lot to ask of you and seriously, you and Karkat have already done so much for us...."

"Nonsense, we love watching Dirk and having you both here. This house is too big and empty when it's only me and Karkat. If anything, you would be making it easier on all of us by living here because you wouldn't have to constantly take Dirk back and forth.

Dave bits at his lip and then asks, "How much would rent be?"

"Same price it was to babysit Dirk for you, you stay in school and keep up your grades and attendance. You would even be able to pick up more classes next semester if you lived here. I mean, I know it's not easy to accept help sweetheart but even though I only have known you boys a short time, you already feel like family to me. It was the same feeling when I first met Karkat. I've been talking to Ms. Rollins as well and I know from my time working in foster care that having a good support system, a good and steady place to live and being a fulltime student are going to look amazing to a judge and definitely give you a better shot at getting permanent custody of Dirk eventually. This is ultimately your decision though Dave and I want you to know that no matter what you decide that we support your choice and will still be here for you and Dirk anytime and for anything you need and I would hope you would still come over to visit."

"What about food and everything else," Dave asks and you're a little surprised that's all he has to say.

"Well, a lot of our food comes from my garden and greenhouse and it's always great to have extra help with the weeding and harvesting and now that fall's almost over I'll be starting to can stuff soon as well. Otherwise, I'm going to be honest with you Dave, my grandfather left me a sizable inheritance and I did pretty well for myself in my career as well and it's not a problem for me to provide for all of us. In fact, it brings me a lot of joy to be able to and to put my grandfather's money to such great use. But if that makes you uncomfortable, then maybe you could keep your job but just work less hours and help out financially wherever you see fit. Even Karkat works a couple days a week at the campus library and helps out with certain things. He's pretty prideful and stubborn himself, if you hadn't noticed," she finishes with a wink.

Dave doesn't respond right away, he's been tapping a light beat against Dirk's back the entire time Ms. Harley was talking. Since he has yet to say anything Ms. Harley starts talking again.

"I'd expect you to help out around the house some as well, mostly just keeping your space clean and cleaning up after yourself of course. If he wants to maybe even Dirk could have a big job that would really help out around here."

Dirk who's been quiet the entire time and hasn't moved from his position of being buried against Dave's chest, finally lifts his head and looks back at Ms. Harley. Your heart aches when you see his face is streaked with tears.

"What is it?" he asks.

""I really need someone to help me feed and water Bec everyday and mostly importantly someone to brush him. Is that something you would want to do sweetheart."

He gives her a enthusiastic nod and then buries his face back against Dave who finally decides to speak.

"Is it okay if I take a little bit of time to think this over?"

"Of course dear, take however long you need. Like I said, this is 100% up to you"

"Thanks," he turns and goes back out the front door which was not quite what you were expecting. You glance out the window and are even more surprised to see that he only went as far as the bottom of the porch steps, where he's currently sitting. You give a questioning look to Ms. Harley and she shrugs at you.

"We'll have to wait and see sweetie."

She turns and heads back towards the kitchen and you decide to sit down on the couch and attempt to read for awhile. You can't concentrate though and just keep reading the same words over and over. You keep this up for about half an hour and then slam your book down. Dave still hasn't come back in and since you've never been known for your patience, you decide to go outside and see what's up. He's still sitting there on the bottom step but Dirk has detached from him and wandered over to the little gnome garden Ms. Harley has set up to the left of the porch. You walk to the bottom of the stairs and you plop down next you him.

"Hey."

"Sup."

"How ya doing."

"Not real sure to be honest."

"Hhmmm."

"It's not hard for you to accept help from Ms. J?"

You think that over for a minute before you respond.

"At first it was. Maybe not so much hard as it was weird as fuck though. My whole life anytime anyone did something nice for me it came with a price. My birth mother was the worst. I knew anytime she did something nice for me or Karmen that it meant something bad would be coming. And the foster homes I was in before meeting Ms. Harley were bad too. Any little thing they gave me or did for me I would have to work off in chores or other bullshit ways. I just thought it was normal. Even with how bad my mom was, I just thought that's how all moms where. And then I got sent to live with Ms. Harley. I showed up there and I was bruised and ratty and snarky as fuck, pretty much the same as I am now just shorter and with bruises, and she was so nice and patient. She didn't get mad when I yelled and she actually used the money the state sent her to get me things I needed and she took time to get to know me. I had no idea there was actually people like her and I don't know why I just told you all that but my point is that yeah, it was hard."

Dave nods and looks back down at the ground. "It doesn't make you feel like less of a man though?"

"Do you think it makes me less of a man?"

Dave's head snaps back up and he looks over at you.

"Shit, no dude. Not at all, I promise. I mean just looking at you two together I would think you were mom and son with how you act towards each other and it's not like you're over there just living off of her or anything. You're like a god damned team. I'd never think less of you for any of that."

"But you'd think less or yourself?"

"Man I don't know. My Bro always instilled it in us not to accept help from anyone. That men shouldn't ever need help and especially not from a women. So I just don't know dude."

"You know that's complete bullshit right?"

"Yea I do and that's the worst part. He was a complete worthless, shit bag and I don't want to be anything like him. But I still find myself reacting to things the way he taught me to and it makes me fucking sick. And like, I just get this fear that everyone's going to look at me the same way he would if I do something he wouldn't approve of."

"That's actually... fuck.. I actually completely understand that because I still do the same thing sometimes but you just have to keep working on it and not let him have that power over you dude. And like, you're on your own with a four year old little kid, who fucking adores you by the way, and you were brave enough to go against your abuser and you got him out of a horrible situation and now you've been doing everything you can to keep him from having to go back to that. Accepting help to keep Dirk safe isn't being less of a man Dave, that's being an amazing fucking person and brother and anyone who would look down on you for that is an idiot."

"Hhm, maybe..."

"Maybe my ass, it's true."

Dave looks over at where Dirk is still playing and the two of you sit in silence for awhile. Eventually Dave turns back to you and starts speaking again.

"You sure you're going to be ok with it if I move in? I mean you first words to me were about how much you hated me."

You snort and give him a mock glare. "Eh, I mean I did tell you about how much I love keeping myself in a constant state of unbridled misery and irritation and now I'll really have an unlimited supply."

Dave laughs and leans over and bumps your shoulder with his own.

"All right dude, I guess were doing this. We're making it happen."

"Is that from that piece of shit comic you draw for Dirk."

"Fuck yes it is."

"Oh god, see the irritation has already started."

Dave smirks at you and you both stand up and call Dirk over and then head inside so you can let Ms. Harley know about Dave's decision. You're about to get a new room mate and it's non other than Dave fucking Strider himself but unlike when you got paired up with him for your english project, you don't feel upset over that fact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Dave's moving in, let the cute af shenanigans ensue. Seriously though, a lot of the next chapters will have a lot of my ideas that originally made me want to write this whole thing in the first place.  
> With that being said, next chapter might be awhile. I'm going camping so I won't have access to my computer for almost a week =P also, October is a rough month for me , emotion wise, so that might slow things down a little.  
> But thanks to everyone whose been reading. The kudos, comments and feedback are always super appreciated!
> 
>  
> 
> Find me on Tumblr [ @ nuwanda717 ](//www.tumblr.com/blog/nuwanda717)


	12. Chapter 12

You, Ms. Harley, Dave and Dirk all spend Sunday evening getting Dave's apartment packed up. You make a good dent but aren't able to finish it all because it was already late in the day when you had started. Since Monday is the 31st, you and Dave both cut school for the day so Dave can be completely out of the apartment by the first of the month. Ms. Harley drops you and Dave off at the complex early in the morning and then takes Dirk back home, all of you figuring that it will go much easier without a four year old running around, not to mention the added bonus of Ms. Harley not having to endure the trek up the hellacious set of stairs.

It's almost noon and you and Dave are done with the packing and are now just focused on cleaning the place top to bottom so that Dave will for sure get his deposit back. You've both been busting ass trying to get it done as soon as possible so that you can make it back home in time for trick or treating with Dirk. You decide to take a small break though and are currently sitting in the middle of the room sharing a bag of Doritos you found while cleaning out the cabinets.

"Maaan, moving seriously sucks. Like, getting out of this shithole is great of course but the process, that shits fucking lame. Like as lame as a horse but not just a metaphorical lame horse, like an actual lame horse that tripped doing barrels rolls or something. Shits about to be put out to pasture. Gonna be standing out there, chewing on some grass and reflecting on it's poor life choices. If it had just moved to L.A. it could have been the next Mr. Ed and paid someone to do this shit but nope, he had to go and knock up Buttercup in high school and had to get a real job."

"Strider, please do me a fucking favor and use yourself as an example the next time you need a metaphor to describe how lame something is because I guaran-fucking-tee you that it will be much easier to follow than that bullshit that just spilled from your mouth. But seriously, it would be great to be rich enough to pay someone to do this bs for us, maybe we should start playing the lottery."

"Dude, if you mean that I could use myself as a reference to compare how lame something is vs. how lame I'm not, then yep I'll make sure to do that from now on. But anyways, lottery's not gonna work to get us rich Karkat. First of all, neither of us are even old enough to buy a ticket and second, that shit is such a bullshit scam. So looks like one of use will just have to become rich and famous."

"Oh yeah? And what would you become famous for? Obnoxious asshole isn't really a marketable talent Dave."

"Well obviously with my rugged good looks I could be a model or something but that's kinda gay, so I'd probably be like a famous DJ or rapper or maybe for my comics or something."

"Oh god, those fucking comics. Didn't I just say that obnoxious asshole wasn't something to become famous for?! And a DJ? That would actually take some musical talent and skill, are you just planning on pulling that out of your ass."

"Nah, I actually do know how to mix."

"Really?"

"Yea dude, I'm pretty fucking amazing at it too. I'm like the Leonardo Da Vinci of ill beats, crafting my godly science like no one before or after me ever could. Seriously though, I had turntables and mixing gear, the whole set up really. Bro was shit at providing essential shit like food and clothing but if he deemed something cool or ironic enough, he'd buy it for us."

"Hhmmm. What happened to them? Your turntables?"

"Oh. I left them, at Bro's apartment. I didn't take shit when I moved out, not even clothes. Only took some pictures and drawings, shit he wouldn't give two fucks about. I didn't want to give him anything he could hold over my head or use against me in court, ya know."

"Fuck Strider, I didn't even know it was possible to hate someone so much when I've never even met them but your Bro sure proved me wrong."

"You hated me before we ever officially met."

"Yeah, but I had at least seen you and your ugly fucking face was enough to ignite my hate."

"Rude. Besides, I've grown on you haven't I?"

"Yeah, just like mold on old, nasty bread."

"You say the sweetest shit Karkat but the feelings mutual bro. Come on, lets finish up so we can get out of this shit hole once and for all."

Dave stands up and offers you a hand, which you accept. After you throw the Doritos bag away you start wiping down the cabinets and Dave starts wiping down the walls. There's a spot that Dirk had drawn on with some crayons and Dave snaps a picture of it with his phone before he takes a magic eraser to it. It's a little less than an hour later when the two of you finally finish cleaning and you give Ms. Harley a call to let her know to come pick you up. You grab up the rest of the boxes and head down to the lobby. You wait outside with the boxes while Dave goes to office to drop off his keys and let the manager know he's moved out.

Once you're all back home, you help Dave unload the rest of his stuff and carry it up to his room. Dirks super excited, the combination of moving in and Halloween has apparently unleashed his inner 4 year old. He makes moving everything way more difficult but you can't help but be amused at his excitement.

At about 4:30 Dave and Dirk get dressed in their costumes. Dave asked you if you wanted to come along and since Dirk had excitedly yelled "pleeeeaaase!" you didn't really have a choice in the matter. You don't want to put on your full costume though so you decide just to wear some fake teeth, a little bit of blood around your mouth and your cape of course ( since you're not going to let Dave get away with having a cape while you don't') Ms. Harley volunteered to stay home and hand out candy, so when 5 o'clock rolls around you, Dave and Dirk head out.

According to Dave, this is Dirk's first time ever trick or treating and he's super excited for it. You and Ms. Harley had made sure to make a big deal about how cool his costume is and honestly he's the cutest damn Batman you've ever seen. He had insisted that he needed to carry a sword as well and him and Dave have been battling imaginary villains as the three of you trek to a near by neighborhood, known for giving out awesome candy, to start your trick or treating. By the time you arrive at the first house, Dirk is pumped and practically jumping up and down. Dave gives him the okay to run ahead and ring the doorbell and he doesn't hesitate as he sprints up the walkway. You and Dave come up behind him just as the owner opens the door and you're not sure what Dirk had been expecting but this obviously was not it.

As soon as he sees the man in the doorway, he freezes up and drops his pumpkin bucket and sword. He must not have realized how close you and Dave already were to him because he turns around to bolt, presumably to Dave, and instead runs straight into you, tripping right over your feet. This in turn, causes him to fall face first, straight onto the concrete path. Dave reacts quickly and scoops him up but not fast enough to stop Dirk from scraping up his hands and getting a bloody nose. His mask came off during the fall and you can already see tears pouring down his face.

"Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Hey little man, it's ok, I've got you. It's ok."

As Dave is comforting a howling Dirk, you scoop up his mask and then do the same with his sword and bucket. The man is still standing there, candy bowl in hand, obviously concerned.

"I'm so sorry! Is he okay?" he asks.

""Yeah, I think so. This is just his first time trick or treating and I think he got little overwhelmed."

"Oh my god, poor little guy. Here wait a second, let me get some tissues for his nose."

The guy dashes inside and comes back out with a box of tissues and a first aide kit which he pushes at you. You take them thankfully and walk back over to Dave and Dirk. Dirk won't let go of Dave yet so you clean and bandage his shaking hands as Dave still holds him. You clean up the blood and tears from his face and nose as gently as possible and assess the damage. It doesn't seem to be broken and you let Dave know this. He heaves a sigh of relief and continues comforting his little brother. Once finished, you walk back up to the home owner to return his stuff.

"Thanks, I really appreciate you letting us use that."

"No problem. Is he going to be ok then?"

"Yeah. I don't think his nose is broken or anything. But we're going to get going, thanks again."

"Wait. Here," the man grabs a big handful of candy from his bucket and dumps it into Dirk's pumpkin, which you're still holding. You thank him and them return to Dave and Dirk, who have moved down to the main sidewalk. Dirks still crying but has at least stopped howling.

"Hey. So what should we do now?" you ask as you give Dirk a few pats on his back.

"I don't know. I guess we probably should get him back home."

At this, Dirk leans back from Dave's chest and starts howling again. In between sobs he asks:

"So..I...don't...get to.... get... any... caaaaandy???!!!!"

"No, no, no little dude, we'll get you some candy at the store, okay?" Dave tries but this solution doesn't work at all and Dirk starts crying even harder.

"But... I... don't... get.... to go... trick-r-treatinnnnn?!!"

This time you attempt to soothe him, "Hey, the guy from this house gave you a whole handful of candy. See?" you hold the bucket up so Dirk can look inside but your plan also fails.

"But.. but.. I..don't... get.. to have.. people... give... me..caaannnnddyyy??!!"

You look up at Dave and shrug and he tries again. "Do you want to go up to more houses to get candy?"

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Dirk buries his face back into Dave's shoulder and keeps crying. Dave looks at you helplessly and you have an idea pop into your head and you hope this one works because if it doesn't you guys pretty much screwed.

"Hey Dirk?" He turns his head slightly and looks at you. " Me and Dave have some really good friends that are handing out candy tonight. They're really, really nice and they love Batman. Would you want to go trick or treat at their house?"

Dirk doesn't immediately shoot this idea down so you think that's probably a plus.

"You.. and...Dave... know...them?"

"Yep. We all go to school together and two of them have been my best friends since we were the same age as you."

Dirks crying has slowed down some and now he's mostly just sniffling, "What are...their..names?"

"Well, there's Terezi, she's really funny and cool. She kind of reminds me of Dave actually and then there's Sollux. He's a complete nerd but he's super smart and really into video games. Those two are my best friends and then a girl named Nepeta is going to be there too. She's really sweet and loves animals and drawing just like you do." Kanaya won't be there tonight and thankfully neither will Vriska so you don't mention either of them.

"...Okayyy."

"You want to go trick or treat there?"

"Yeah ..."

"Alright then little dude, let's do this." Dave gives you a very relieved thumbs up and starts walking towards Terezi's place. You return it with a equally relieved nod and whip out your phone to let Terezi know the situation and that you'll be there in like twenty minutes. As you walk, you show Dirk pictures of your friends on you phone and tell him stories about them, hoping this might familiarize him with them some and make him more comfortable when he actually meets them. Dave obviously approves of this plan and adds his own commentary. When you finally arrive, Terezi is waiting on the porch for you and you and Dave stop just outside of her yard to give Dirk a small pep talk.

"Alright little man, we're here. That's Terezi standing up there on the porch." Dirk turns and looks towards her and she gives him a wave. He turns back to Dave when he keeps talking. "She's really excited to meet you and when we go up there all you have to do is say trick or treat and hold out your bucket, okay?" Dirk nods at this and you hand him back his mask, sword and bucket. "Alright, you ready to go?" Again Dirk nods and the three of you start towards the porch. Dirk is still clutched against Dave's chest but he at least has his head turned to the side and is looking at Terezi. When you get to the top steps of the porch, Terezi is the first to speak.

"Hey Karkat. Hey Dave. You didn't tell me you were bringing Batman with you. You know he's like my favorite super hero."

Surprising you all, Dirk is actually the one to respond. "'I'm not the real Batman."

"Are you sure? I'm kind of a Batman expert and you look just like him." Dirk doesn't say anything in response this time but does shake his head 'no'. "Hhhmmm, welllll I guess you do have more muscles than the real batman and you have a sword too so I guess you must just be the super, ultra cool version of Batman, huh?"

Dirk smiles shyly and buries his head back into Dave's chest. Dave decides to prompt him into action.

"Alright super, ultra cool Batman, are you gonna ask her? You're starting to get heavy and it's cold."

Dirk takes a minute but then leans back up from his brother and thrusts his pumpkin bucket out towards Terezi.

"Trick or Treat?" he hesitantly questions.

Terezi gives him her widest smile and then proceeds to dump her entire bowl of candy into his awaiting bucket. Dirk stares at her wide eyed and she gives him a wink.

"So you guys ready to come in? I know Nepeta and Sollux will be really excited to meet super, ultra cool Batman too."

"You ready?" Dave asks and Dirks nods his approval so the three of you follow Terezi inside. Sollux is sitting on the couch, predictably playing video games and Nepeta is draped across the chair watching him. She perks up when you all enter but thankfully Terezi must have informed her about Dirk's nervousness around strangers because she doesn't bounce over to you like she normally would. Terezi makes the introductions.

"Sollux, Nepeta, this is the real super, ultra cool version of Batman."

"Whoa that's so cool! He looks really strong!," Nepeta plays along.

Sollux, who at this point has paused his game and moved to the arm of the couch, takes part as well. "Wow, I figured that wasn't really Dave's little brother, he looks waaaayy to cool to actually be related to Strider." You and Dave both let out a snort at that dig.

"He is!" Terezi says. "Hey super, ultra cool Batman, I think Nepeta and Sollux both have some candy if you want to go say trick or treat to them."

Dirk nods again and surprisingly slips out of Dave's grip and heads over to Nep first, her obviously being the least intimidating out of the two.

"Trick or treat," he says, still a bit hesitantly.

Nepeta smiles at him and pulls a new box of crayons and a small box of pocky sticks out of her coat pocket and drops them into his bucket. This must earn Dirk's approval because he gives her a smile and then moves on to Sollux.

"Trick or Treat," he says, this time with more confidence.

Sollux grabs two full sized Twix bars (which you know are from his private stash) and puts them in Dirk's bucket. He then holds out a fist and says, " Your costume really is awesome dude."

Dirk quickly bumps his fist and then runs full speed back to Dave and proceeds to hold up his bucket and show him his goods. You walk over and greet your friends, Terezi having joined Sollux on the couch, and thank them because fuck, they really are awesome. Dave joins the four of you a few moments later, Dirk glued to his side but at least not needing to be held. Nepeta reaches over to the side table and pulls out some sheets of paper and crayon box and slides down onto the floor so that she can sit in front of the coffee table.

"Does anybody wanna draw with me?" she asks.

Dave takes her cue and sits down across from her, propping Dirk up to sit on his lap.

"I do," he says and Nep slides him some paper and places the crayon box in the middle of the table.

The two of them start drawing and it's not long before Dirk joins in too. Seriously, have you mentioned how fucking awesome your friends are? Sollux picks up his controller and starts playing his game again and you and Terezi sit side by side bullshitting for awhile. Nepeta, being her usual bubbly self, is talking with Dave and Dirk and you can't stop yourself from glancing over at them pretty regularly because it's kind of an adorable picture. During one of your not so subtle glances, Dave is talking and you notice something. He doesn't emote around your friends hardly at all. Which granted he doesn't much around you either but he does laugh or smile or frown sometimes and you've grown pretty good at reading him in the short time you've known him. But now that you think back, he does go back into his stoic mask anytime he's around anyone besides you, Dirk and Ms. Harley. You have an internal battle over this fact because you're pretty sure this is part of the bullshit training from his Bro that Dave has mentioned a few times before but you can't help but feel proud? special? idfk? that Dave is comfortable enough around you to let his facade fall. if only a little. Your thoughts are interrupted by the same apathetic asshole who has invaded them.

"Hey Karkat, we should probably get going soon. It's getting kinda late and I gotta get Batman to bed."

You stand up in agreement. "Yeah, we should probably get home before Ms. Harley starts to worry about us."

You don't realize your mistake until Terezi questions you.

"Is Dave staying at your house tonight?"

"Uh," you and Dave glance at each other and your three friends stare at you in anticipation of an answer. Shit. You're not sure what to do because you don't want to divulge any of Dave's personal shit but you also don't want to lie to your friends. Dave has mercy on you though and answers Terezi instead.

"My shitty apartment raised it's rent and Ms. J... uh Harley offered to rent me a room. I just moved in today actually."

"Ohhhhhhh shit! The two hottest guys on campus are roommates now? I'll definitely be stopping by more often now Karkles." Terezi says grinning at you both.

"Ugh Terezi, I think you mean the two biggest douche bags on campus. And KK, you can definitely count on me stopping by way less often now. Like never to be exact," Sollux says adding his two cents. You lean down and punch his arm.

"Fuck you Sollux, the title of "two biggest douche bags on campus" is already taken by you and your alter fucking ego."

Dave stands and picks up Dirk during your's and Sollux's exchange and Nepeta, ever the sweetheart, changes the subject and brings him into the conversation.

"So this means you get to be roommates with super, ultra cool Batman too, huh Karkitty?"

You snap your attention away from Sollux as you respond, " Yeah, he's definitely going to be the coolest roommate ever. You guys will have to come over and see his super rad room sometime, except you Sollux." You turn back to glare at him and he holds up both of his middle fingers in response.

"Yeah, that sounds awesome! I can't wait," Nepeta says, smiling at Dirk again.

"Yeah, same here," Terezi agrees. "Alright guys, you better get going. Batman needs his rest if he's going to keep fighting the bad guys away." She walks over and gives Dirk a high five.

"Alright yall, we really are going now but thanks again. You really made tonight not be completely pear shaped."

"No problem cool kid, you can bring Dirk over anytime," Terezi answers and claps Dave on the back. Dave gives everyone one last wave and then heads out the front door. You grab Dirk's bucket and sword and then say one more goodbye and thank you to everyone as well and head towards the door. Before you close it all the way though you lean back and flip off Sollux one last time and then slam the door before he gets a chance to respond. You race down the steps and over to Dave and Dirk who are waiting for you at the gate and you start towards home. Dirks already on the verge of sleep.

"I'm sorry my big fucking mouth let it slip that you're living with us now," you immediately apologize.

"No worries bro, it was probably easier they found out tonight anyway," Dave says, giving you a small smile. It doesn't pass your notice that he's already smiling only minutes after leaving the other's company.

"Eh, maybe. It still should have been your choice of when, if ever, to fucking tell them."

"Nah, don't stress it. Thanks for thinking of taking Dirk there tonight dude. You saved the day...again."

"Yeah, well don't get used to that, I'm usually fucking shit up, not saving it," you say shrugging your shoulders.

"Hhmm, I kinda doubt that. At the rate you're going I think we might have to trade capes here soon."

"Oh great, you mean I get to get demoted to the lame fucking side kick."

He smirks, "I was going for super hero, dick."

"A _'super hero dick'_? Yeah, I think _you_ definitely better keep the cape for that one."

"Oh my god Karkat. Did you just admit that my dick is super?"

"Oh my fucking god, you know what I fucking meant Strider, you complete shitbag!!" you say and you shove him lightly with your shoulder. Dave straight up _giggles_ when you do and yeah ok, you're definitely feeling some pride at getting that sound out of him, along with a shit ton of other emotions that you can't even begin to process. But as the three of you continue home, you do know one thing for sure, it's a sound that you want to hear him make again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when I started writing this chapter the moving out of the apartment and trick or treating was only going to be like two small paragraphs but then it just morphed into almost 4000 words. So I still didn't get to the stuff I was planning on writing but hopefully you all still enjoyed this unplanned chapter :) I was kinda unsure about posting it honestly .  
> As always, thanks for reading! The comments, kudos and support are super appreciated! 
> 
>  
> 
> Find me on Tumblr [ @ nuwanda717 ](//www.tumblr.com/blog/nuwanda717)


	13. Chapter 13

The few weeks after Dave and Dirk officially move in is definitely an adjustment period for everyone. Dirk seems to collectively have both the easiest and hardest time. The first week is a breeze for him, having already spent a lot of time here already and the nights go smooth as well because he spends the first week sharing a bed with Dave. With your class schedules neither of you really had time to move the current furniture out of his room and his own furniture in to replace it. He's really happy about having his own official room though and he had cut no corners in bossing you and Dave around the weekend after Halloween when you had brought his furniture up from the living room where it had been stored, after moving the other furniture down to the basement. Although admittedly it gets a little frustrating, you and Dave both take the time and listen to his 4 year old demands and get everything set up perfectly for him. You're in agreement with Dave that hopefully that will help make him more comfortable with the transition to a new room and sleeping alone in a new house. It seems to work the first two nights he spends in his room, although that could be due to how exhausted he was both nights.

The third night you're jolted out of sleep by the sound of him screaming and you don't hesitate as you dash from your bed and into his room. Dave, although in the room across the hall, has beat you to him and he already has a crying Dirk cradled against his chest. You debate with yourself for a brief moment on whether you should try to help or if you should retreat back to your room but your thoughts are brought to a halt as you fully focus on the sight of Dave.

He's wearing some loose, dark red pajama pants and they sit low on his narrow hips. Also, he's shirtless and you briefly notice how lean he is but none of this is what brought you up short. He's faced away from and you get a full, unobstructed view of his back and it's... it's fucking covered in scars. Some are light and mostly faded but some are a darker shade of pink and obviously more recent. They crisscross over his back in varying sizes and your not even sure what could have made so many scars like that. You notice one particularly bad one, maybe due to its darker shade of pink or maybe just due to the sheer size of it, that starts somewhere on his stomach your guessing, and curves up around his rib cage and onto his back, stopping just short of his spine. You're still staring at this one when Dirk says your name and cues a previously unaware Dave to your presence in the room. He turns his head to look over his shoulder at you and he catches your study of his back. You make eye contact with him and without his shades on you don't miss the embarrassment and shame that cross his face. He whips around to face you, making sure his back is now faced away so that it's no longer visible.

The two of you stare at each other for a few brief moments, although it feels like much longer. You're sure that your expression conveys the same embarrassment and shame as Dave's but yours stems from you own fucking stupidity at having once again gotten a such personal look into Dave's live, again completely uninvited. Dave is the first one to break eye contact and he goes back to trying to soothe Dirk and is now looking anywhere but you.

Before you had noticed Dave's back you had been debating whether you should stay and help or go back to your room and now there's no question, you're going back to the sanctity of you room to wallow in your shame. You take a step back into the hallway and start to close the door but as you do you hear Dirk say your name. You almost decide to pretend you didn't hear it and just finish closing the door but his voice sounds so small and scared and helpless that you can't do it. You take in a breath and then step back into the room. Dave's still facing you, keeping his back from view, and Dirk has twisted in his brother's arms enough so that he can see you.

You just stand there stupidly, still not sure what to do next, when Dirk holds out his hand for you. This propels you forward and you walk over and take his hand in yours. Dave still won't make eye contact and honestly your grateful for that.

"Hey little guy, you ok?"

He shakes his head no, "You stay... ple..ase."

His voice cracks and you notice how shaky it is. In fact, he's shaking all over and is pressed as tightly to Dave as possible, with the exception of the arm he has held out for you. His cheeks are wet with tears and his eyes are dilated, in fear your guessing. You'd honestly do anything he asked you to right now.

"Yeah, I'll stay," you say as you nod and give him a small smile. He doesn't respond but you notice he very slightly relaxes into Dave some.

"Hey," Dave says to him, getting Dirk's attention back. " Do you want to lay back down." Dirk doesn't respond to him either but Dave, like you, must also take this as a positive sign. He takes a few steps backwards, Dirk let's your hand go when he does, until the backs of his knees come in contact with Dirk's bed. Still without turning, he lifts his legs up and crawls back onto the bed, pushing blankets and stuffed animals out of the way as he does. You know he's still trying to keep his scars hidden and so you turn around so that he can get situated without being so god damned heart wrenchingly awkward about it.

You hear them both lay down and pull the blankets up. You turn back around hoping that maybe you'll be able to make your escape now but as soon as you make eye contact with Dirk he holds his hand out for you again. You walk over and obligingly take it and sit down the floor near the foot of his race car bed, letting our arm slightly rest, stretched out on the mattress. Dirk has his back nestled against Dave's chest and one of Dave's arms is wrapped protectively around his little brother. You pull your knees up to your chest and drape your other arm across them and rest your head on it, closing your eyes. The three of you sit/lay in silence for several minutes, Dirk's breathing is still labored and you notice that Dave starts breathing loudly and more drawn out, trying to get Dirk to match his breaths you think. Eventually his breathing slows down some and Dave takes this time to question him a bit.

"Was it a bad dream?" he whispers to Dirk. He doesn't answer but you can feel the motion of him slightly nodding his head yes.

"Bro?" Dave asks and again gets a nod.

"I won't let him take you back. I won't let him hurt you ever again, okay little man?" Dave quietly reassures him.

"What 'bout you?" Dirk voices this time, his voice still tiny and quiet.

"I would never, ever, ever hurt you little man. Why would you think that?" Dave questions, his voice sounding hurt.

"No, is Bro gunna come hurt you or take you away?"

"Oh...No. Of course not little dude. I won't let that happen either. I promise." You can feel Dirk nod at this and relax into brother some. Dave starts quietly humming him a song that you can't quite place. You try several times to slip away when you think Dirk is asleep but each time he ends up jolting back awake so you finally accept your fate and lay down onto the floor, your arm elevated, still holding his hand. A couple minutes after you get yourself situated Dave tosses you down a spare blanket and a stuffed My Little Pony toy in place of a pillow. They startle you when they land on your face but you're still grateful for them. You lay there, head cradled on Rainbow Dash's ass and try not to think about Dave's back but you aren't very successful. You drift to sleep with pink, crisscrossed lines and tear streaked cheeks filling your thoughts and your hate for Bro ever growing.

You're brought back awake by something shaking you. You open your eyes and Dave's crouched down, a hand on your shoulder, the cause of the aforementioned shaking. You notice that he's put on a long sleeved shirt and that fact sends a wave of hurt through your chest. You also notice that it's light out and you have a moment of panic about what time it is before Dave assuages it.

"Hey sleeping beauty, you better wake up. You're going to be late to class."

You sit up and stretch, Dave standing up as you do so. Fuck, your back is sore. You look over at the bed and see Dirk's still laying there, clutching his favorite pony. He's awake but he's just staring at the floor. You turn your attention back to Dave.

"Why aren't you already dressed then? I'm not waiting for you with your long ass fucking showers. And you don't even have Dirk dressed yet."

"We're not going today."

"What? Why?" you ask as you stand up and throw the blanket and toy back onto the bed.

"Uh, well..." Dave motions you to follow him and you both step out into the hallway. Dave continues talking but this time his voice is lowered. "Sometimes after Dirk has a bad nightmare he completely withdraws. It usually only lasts a day or two but he just kinda lays there and doesn't respond. He hasn't done it in awhile but I think everything just caught up to him."

You look back into the room and sure enough Dirk is still just laying there, the same vacant stare on his face.

"Shit. Poor little guy," you say frowning. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Nah, I already gave him some of the medicine his therapist prescribed so that should start helping soon."

"Hhmm. Are you sure you want to miss school? I know Ms. Harley wouldn't mind helping him today. She's handled stuff like this before."

"Nah, it's ok. He has a harder time if I'm not around."

"Oh. Ok. Do you want me to stop by your classes to get your assignments or anything?"

"Nah, it's cool bro, I already emailed all my professors and they'll send me anything I need to know about. It's not the first time this has happened."

"Oh."

Silence falls between the two of you, Dave looks like he wants to say something and you kind of want to apologize about seeing his back but instead you fall back on your favorite problem solving solution : avoidance.

"Ok sooo.. I'm going to go get ready for school then I guess. Uh... text me if you need anything."

"Alright dude. Thanks."

Dave turns and heads back into the room with Dirk and you head to your own room and start getting ready for school. Before you head out you stop and have a brief conversation with Ms. Harley to make sure that she knows what's going on. She tells you that Dave already talked to her and tells you to try not to worry as she knows your wont to do. You can't help but wonder how long Dave's been awake though since he seems to have covered all the bases. Your day at school drags by and you barely pay attention in any of your classes. You check your phone more than anything but you never hear from Dave. Of course, it's Tuesday, which is one of the days that you work in the library after classes and you think that those two hours go by slower than the rest of the fucking day did

When it's finally time for you to head home you stop at the corner store on the way and grab two new books to read to Dirk and a bottle of apple juice and Doritos for Dave. You plan on seeking out Ms. Harley when you get home to see if there's anything you need updated on. You're surprised, but not unhappy, to find her in the living room, sitting on the couch and watching TV. Dave's there with her, sitting on the opposite end of the couch with Dirk cradled in his lap, asleep.

"Hey, how's everything?" you ask.

"Sup Karkat. Everything's chill," Dave vaguely answers.

"Hello dear. How was school?" Ms. Harley asks.

"Long. How's Dirk doing?"

"He's better... His medicine seemed to help," she answers.

"That's good," you reply and go sit in the middle of the couch between her and Dave. You open your bag and pull out it's contents and turn slightly to Dave.

"I got some books for Dirk, I thought maybe I could try reading them to him when he wakes up, see if it helps maybe... I don't know... Oh and uh.. I got you some Doritos and an apple juice." Dave's staring at you with an expression you can't read and you're nervous that maybe you fucked up some how. Shit, it had seemed like a good idea at the time but now your wondering if maybe you fucked up and crossed some boundaries or something.

"Dude, that's really awesome, thank you. The book things fucking genius, he gets so hyped about new books. We can try when he wakes up. But shit dude, you know I'm always a slut for Doritos so what are you waiting for? Bust that shit open. Um, I mean if that's okay with you Ms. J? If we eat them out here?"

"Yes, that's fine sweetheart," she responds, laughing.

Even though your stupidly pleased that he's happy, you still roll your eyes at his ridiculous, memeing ass. You oblige him though and open the chips, holding them up so that he can reach them with his free hand that's not supporting Dirk. The three of you sit there for awhile watching some nature show that Ms. Harley obviously picked. It's nearing six o'clock when Ms. Harley speaks up again.

"So I was thinking we could order some pizza tonight since it's been a rough day, what do you think boys?"

"Oh my dick, yes," Dave responds. "SHIT. I mean yea, that sounds good....sorry," Dave tries to correct himself but his face is already turning red and he's looking down, embarrassed.

Ms. Harley just laughs at him, "I live with Karkat sweetie, there's not much that's going to offend me. So what do you and Dirk like on you pizza? Karkat usually gets ham, pineapple and jalapenos on ours."

"Dude. Sick," Dave says to you.

"Fuck you, don't judge my pizza just because you have shit taste. What do you get on yours? Wait let me guess. Pepperoni?"

"Uh yea, the fucking classic dude."

"Maybe for a 5 year olds birthday party."

"Whatever, pineapple is still something that should NEVER be on a pizza."

"I'm surprised you don't like it just for the irony of it then."

"Hhmm, that's a valid point but irony should never be used for the purpose of fucking up perfectly good food."

"Alright boys, so we'll get a large pepperoni and a large ham, pineapple and jalapeno. Anything else?"

You both shake your heads no and she stands and goes to get her phone to call the order in. Being so health conscious, it's a rare thing for her to order out so you figure she must have been pretty worried about Dirk today. She comes back a few minutes later and joins you on the couch and you all continue watching her show until you hear a knock on the door. You volunteer to answer and grab the money from the side table and go and get the pizza, carrying it to the kitchen table after you've paid and tipped the delivery kid.

Dave gently wakes up little Dirk and they and Ms. Harley join you in the kitchen, Ms. Harley grabbing plates and napkins for everyone. Dirk's still kind of zoned out but he does give a very small nod when Dave tells him there's pizza. As you all eat, you, Dave and Ms. Harley all try to bring Dirk into conversation but none of you have much success. He mostly just sits there staring at his pizza, which so far he's only taken two small bites from. As you nearing the end of your second slice, Ms. Harley speaks up again.

"Hey Dirky?" she prompts and the only acknowledgment he gives is moving his gaze up from the table to look at her but at least it's something." I was thinking that it's probably pretty scary being in a new room all by yourself and I was wondering if you'd like Bec to start sleeping with you at night?"

Dirk slightly perks up at this and Dave flashes Ms. Harley a grateful smile. Dirk looks over to Bec, whose laying on the floor in the doorway and then back to Ms. Harley and nods his head.

"Alright sweetie, Dave said that he's going to have you sleep in his room tonight but tomorrow morning we'll get Bec all set up in your room, okay?" Again Dirk nods at her and then he picks up his pizza and takes two more bites.

You continue eating when suddenly you're hit in the face with a stray piece of pineapple. You glare over at Dave who's snickering and in retaliation you lean over and smash your middle finger into his piece of pizza multiple times. He just smirks and picks it up and eats it anyway, that gross fuck. After you've all over stuffed yourselves with pizza, you and Ms. Harley clean up the kitchen while Dave takes Dirk upstairs to bathe him and get him ready for bed. After you're done in the kitchen you go grab the books you bought for Dirk and then head upstairs to Dave's room. The door is open but you still knock and wait for Dave's okay to enter. When you step into the room, you see that Dave already has Dirk in bed, jammies on and plush horsey at his side. He's sitting next to him on the bed near his pillow, stroking his hair. You walk over to the bed and address Dirk.

"Hey little guy. I bought you some new books today. I wanted to see if you wanted me to read them to you before you go to sleep."

He looks up at you and gives you small nod yes. Dave moves to sit at the foot of the bed, letting you take the place by the pillow so that you can show Dirk the pictures. You read through both books, Dirk doesn't add his normal commentary but he does reach up a couple times and lightly touch some of the pictures. By the end of the second book he's asleep so you stand up and place both books onto the nightstand by the side of the bed. Dave stands up with you.

"Thanks bro, I know it didn't seem like it but he was way more responsive tonight than he usually is when he gets like this."

"Hopefully he'll feel better by tomorrow," you respond, not really knowing what to say.

"Yea, I hope so. He seemed to like the idea of Bec staying in his room so that will probably help. I'm going to keep him home from preschool again though even if he does feel better. Ms. Harley said she'll watch him so that I can go to school."

"Nice. Are you coming back down?"

"Nah, I'm going to hang out in here in case he wakes back up. Probably catch up on some of my homework and shit. You should come and hang out with me... I mean if you want to, if you have homework or anything to work on too..." He says and rubs at the back of his neck.

"Uh.. yeah actually I do. Let me go grab my shit and say night to Ms. Harley. I'll be back in a little bit," you assure him.

"Alright, sweet dude. Tell Ms. J I said goodnight."

You nod and then head out of his door and downstairs to say your goodnights. Back in your room you grab your laptop and backpack and then head back over to Strider's room. The two of you fuck around for awhile, alternating between actually doing homework and bullshitting, although admittedly the time spent bullshitting outweighs time spent on homework. Eventually you decide to read the novel that Ms. Williams assigned in your English class and you pull it out of your backpack. Dave groans when he sees it.

"Ugh, that fucking book dude. I literally haven't got pass like the third page without falling asleep. Like seriously they shouldn't even sell Nyquil anymore, they should just market that book as a sleeping aide and insomnia everywhere would instantly be cured. Wait. Oh my god, I bet that's why they don't. The pill manufacturers couldn't make millions off people's sleeplessness. It's a conspiracy bro."

"Strider shit the fuck up, this book is like a literary masterpiece. You better hurry up and read it though, we're supposed to turn in our report on it by Friday."

"Motherfucker, don't remind me. I need to see if I can get it on audio or something."

"Do you want me to read it to you?"

"Seriously?"

"I wouldn't fucking offer if I wasn't serious!"

"Dude, relax. You're going to wake up Dirk. I was just surprised but yea man, that would be cool actually," Dave says as he stands up from his computer chair and grabs a couple pillows off of his bed. He tosses them onto the floor and comes to sit next to you, near where your sitting with your back against the bed. You glare at him but flip your book back to the beginning and start reading. Dave's fidgety as fuck but surprisingly quiet as you read. You read through several chapters no problem but at some point you must have fallen asleep because for the second day in a row you're awakened to someone shaking you.

This time when you open your eyes it's not Dave standing over you but a tiny Dirk who's holding the two books that you bought him yesterday. You notice that it's just starting to turn to daylight outside and you look over to where Dave had been sitting and see that he's now sprawled across the floor, still sleeping. You sit up and rub the sleep from your eyes.

"Hey Dirk. What's up little guy?"

He holds out the books to you. "Will you read these to me again, pleaase?" he asks and you're beyond relieved to see he's speaking and responding again.

"Of course, come here," you say as you scoot back so that your backs supported by the bed again. He comes and sits beside you, leaning his head against your arm as you read. When you finish the second book you glance over at Dave and see that he's awake now. He leans up a little and props his head onto his hand and calls Dirk over to him.

"Morning, little man. Co'mere." Dirk stands up and runs over to his brother and lays down next to him and gives him a hug. "You feeling better?" Dave asks and Dirk responds with a 'Yes'. Dave smiles when Dirk actually speaks and draws him in for another hug.

"Hey, so I'm going to go to school today but if you want to you can stay home with Ms. J and help her get your room ready for Bec."

"Stay home," Dirk doesn't hesitate to respond.

You and Dave make eye contact and share a relieved smile with one another. You both stand up and you head to room to begin getting ready for school. After having a quick breakfast of cold pizza and letting Ms. Harley know that Dirk's doing well enough to stay home alone with her today, you and Dave both head out and begin the walk to school. The day goes by much faster than the previous one and you're both relieved not to get any calls from Ms. Harley. Dirk's fully back to his normal self when you and Dave get home and he takes you both upstairs to show you the special spot for Bec that him and Ms. Harley set up in his room.

Bec seems to be a good solution to Dirk's nightmares because he has yet to wake up screaming in fear again. Most days when you or Dave go into wake him up for preschool, Bec's curled up on his bed, fast asleep with Dirk's arm tossed over him. It's adorable and you both take way to many pictures of them.

Not much of consequence happens the rest of that week. Dave decided to still work on the weekends and you're in your room late Sunday night when you here him get home. You're laying in your bed messing around on your phone and you have your light off. Dave must think your asleep because normally he would come in and bug you , which you honestly don't mind. Instead you hear him go into his room and close the door. You can hear him mumbling like he's talking to someone.

Now normally you wouldn't give two shits and just assume that he's on the phone or something but this isn't the first time this has happened. Twice before you've heard him mumbling in there and you've called out to ask him if he was talking to you but he always just responds with a simple no. You know he isn't on his phone because both times previously Dirk had been playing on one of his apps. This time you decide to get to the bottom of it though because if not it's going to drive you crazy.

You crawl out of bed and head into the hallway and stop in front of his door and listen for a moment. He's still in there talking but it's too quiet for you to actually make out any words. You knock on his door and the mumbling stops as he opens his door.

"Oh hey Karkat. I thought you were asleep. What's up dude?" he asks and steps aside so that you can enter his room and you walk inside.

"Who are you talking to?" you ask, cutting to the chase.

"Uh. You?"

"No, you dense fuck. I just heard you mumbling in here. Who were you talking to?"

"Oh. Shit. Sorry, it's just something I do without realizing sometimes," he answers, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

"You ramble to yourself? When no ones around?" you're not trying to sound like an asshole but seriously that's kind of weird.

"Uh, yea. I guess it's weird huh? It's just something I used to do when Bro would leave me alone when I was little. It was like really calming when I was scared and shit and now it's just habit. I didn't even realize it was weird til I was around other people. Sorry. I'll try to stop," Dave says, now looking down at the floor and avoiding your gaze. God Dammit.

"No. No, shit. Sorry. I don't think it's weird. I just wanted to make sure you were ok. Ramble to yourself as much as you want dude," you say, trying to assure him but probably failing. He looks back up at you though and gives you a small smile and shrugs.

"Alright, if you say so man. So you wanna hang out for a while? I'm not even remotely tired right now."

"Uh, sure. What do you wanna do?"

"I was gonna watch a movie on my laptop but we could find something else."

"No, that's fine. What are we going to watch?"

"I was thinking Cloud Atlas unless you have another suggestion."

"No, that's cool, I've never heard of it. I'm warning you right now though, if this is one of your stupid ironic, bullshit type movies, I will fuck off immediately."

"Nah, it's a decent movie. I think you might like it. Come on."

Dave grabs his laptop off the desk and walks over to his bed and climbs on. He scoots over to the far side against the wall and sets the laptop down in the middle of the bed. You follow him, assuming the empty side of the bed is for you. Dave gets the movie started and then lays down on his side, head propped up by pillows. You continue to sit but grab a small pillow and hug it against your stomach.

Although it's not your usual taste, the movie is actually not that bad. Dave adds commentary the entire fucking time and usually this would piss you off but with Dave you just kind of find it endearing instead. You don't let him know this though and tell him the shut the fuck up at least four hundred and thirteen times. About half way through the movie you get a little hungry and decide to go down stairs for some snacks. Dave agrees and pauses the movie and follows you off the bed.

As you head for his door, you accidently bump into his desk and knock off a thick black binder. It skids across the floor, sending papers scattering everywhere.

"Fuck, sorry," you apologize as you kneel down to start picking up the mess you made. Dave joins you and starts scooping up papers as well. As you grab the first couple of sheets you realize that they're photographs and also that they're really good. Noisy asshole that you are, you start flipping through them.

"Did you take these?" you ask Dave.

"Yea, this is one of those hobbies I had to give up when I moved out of Bro's."

"Hhmmm. Some of these actually don't make me want to claw my eyes out of their sockets."

"Thanks dude," he says with a shrug. "It was more just something I did for fun. It was like my one thing that wasn't inspired by my Bro."

He picks up a few more photos from the ground and sits down cross legged on the floor and starts flipping through them. You follow suit as he starts speaking again.

"I think I actually liked developing them more than anything. I liked the anticipation of getting to see the differences between how something looked in real life vs through the camera lens vs how it finally looked on a film sheet. Oh god, some of these are irredeemably mortifying though." He holds up some selfies of a much younger Dave and you can't help but bust out laughing.

"Oh my god Strider, you have literally always been a douche!" you say, holding up a young Dave selfie of your own.

"Fuck man, I can't even argue that right now. Shit these are comedy gold though," Dave answers, barely holding back his laughter.

The two of you make a game of who can find the worst(best) Dave selfie. You spend the next half hour flipping through all of his old photos and by the end you're both laughing so hard you have tears running down your faces. When you've finally sorted through all the pictures Dave flops back onto the floor, hands behind his head and legs stretched out straight.

"Alright man, I think that's all of them and thank fucking jegus because I don't think I could take anymore," he says turning his head slightly to look at you. You smile at him and shake your head as you organize the scattered photos into a pile. After you've got them all, you grab the binder and open it to put them back and you come across a small stack that didn't fall out. You pick them up hoping for more Dave selfies but they mostly seem to be architectural. One catches your eye though. It's of a butterfly, perched on the corner of a building. Dave must have took it from a roof top because you can see the blurry outlines of buildings below where the butterfly is perched. The lighting and angles are beautiful and you study it in silence.

"Can I have this one?" you ask, holding up the photo for him to see.

"Yea, that's cool. I would have thought you'd have went for one of my selfies though. You could have hung it right above your bed. My beautiful face could be the first thing you see every morning."

You reach up and grab a pillow from the bed and launch it at his head," I see enough of your hideous face as it is Strider. I'd rather not become a vomit volcano when I first wake up. No, this one reminds me of someone."

"Your sister?" he asks and you fight down the defensiveness that rises up automatically because it's just Dave.

"Yeah. She had this specialness with animals, they loved her and anytime we went anywhere she always seemed to have a butterfly come land on her somehow. Mariposa was actually my nickname for her."

"Hhmmm sounds like how you are with kids. That's a pretty name though. You're Mexican right?"

"Yes Dave, you backwoods douche. My skin's brown so I must automatically be Mexican! I'm half Dominican and half Filipino, fuck you very much."

"Dude, relax. I'm from Houston, like half the population was Mexican. I wasn't actually trying to offend you for once."

"Ok, it just pisses me off when people assume that so take note for future interactions.... I can really have this photo though?"

"Yea of course man. You sure you don't want one of those selfies too though?"

"I have never been more positive of anything in my whole worthless existence. Now let's go get some fucking snacks before I really get hangry."

Dave follows you out of the room and you make a pit stop in your room to put the butterfly photo safely away and then continue your trek down into the kitchen. After you're loaded up with snacks you make your way back up to his room to finish the movie. Dave ends up falling asleep before the end of it and you clean up the mess, place his laptop on his desk and head back to your own room. You pull out the photo Dave let you have and spend awhile staring at it. It brings up feelings of sadness and nostalgia in you as you think of your sister but at the same time it also makes you think of Dave and those feelings aren't all unpleasant.

You think about your initial impression of him and how he keeps proving you wrong. He tries to come across so cool but you're learning that he's really just a huge, endearing dork. As much as he talks shit, he's actually really sweet and caring and good at so many different things , non ironically too. You would have never thought that the Dave Strider you initially met would stand on a rooftop and capture a stunning photo of a simple butterfly. You fall asleep thinking about how you want to learn everything there is to know about him.

\---

The week and a half leading up to Thanksgiving is spent mostly getting the house ready for visitors. This year Sollux and Terezi will be staying the weekend and Ms. Harley's son and two of her grandkids will be here as well. Dave offers to sleep on the couch so that Ms. Harley's son and his kids can take his room but you tell him he can just stay with you since Sollux and Terezi will be bunking with you as well.

Thanksgiving day arrives and Terezi shows up bright and early with a very grouchy Sollux in tow. She likes to help Ms. Harley with the cooking but you think it's mainly because Ms. Harley lets her sneak tastes of everything. After saying their hellos, Terezi heads straight to the kitchen and Sollux goes up to your room to go back to sleep. You stay in the living room so you can answer the door when Ms. Harley's son arrives and Dave and Dirk join you not long after. About an hour later there's a knock on the door so you stand and go to answer it.

Sure enough it's Mr. Egbert and you greet him with a hug. His two youngest kids, Jane and Jake fly into your arms and you hug them back just as tightly, not having seen them since last Easter. His oldest son John couldn't make it today because he had too much work to catch up on at his university and you can't help but be disappointed since he's one of your best friends.

Dave stands up to come over and grabs Dirk, who had been playing on the floor with his toy sword, as he does so. You make the necessary introductions and then Dave sets Dirk down so that he can say hi to the two other kids.

"Dirk, these are Ms. Harley's grandkids Jane and Jake. They're a lot of fun to play with and they're about your age. Jane's seven and Jake's five. You should say hi," you tell him.

Dirk just stares at them but gives a small wave. Jake gives him a wide smile in return and comes over to stand closer to him.

"Howdy, is that a sword?" he asks Dirk, who nods in response. You can't help smiling at the fact that Jake's still obsessed with acting like a cowboy. "So do you like ninjas then?" again Dirk nods at him. "Well that's a darn tootin shame, cowboys are much more spiffy than ninjas and we get to have guns instead of silly ole swords."

"They are not! Cowboys are stupid and so are guns and so are you," Dirk practically yells at Jake. Ok so this is not going how you had hoped. Jake's eyes well up with tears but before any of you adults can intervene, Jane walks over to Dirk and pushes him, hard. He falls onto the ground, hitting his elbows against the floor.

"Don't talk to my brother like that! You're the stupid one," she yells at Dirk and sticks her tongue out at him. Well shit.

Dave scoops up Dirk who's now crying too and Mr. Egbert picks up Jake and pulls Jane back by her shoulder.

"Alright you three, that's enough," Mr. Egbert admonishes. "Cowboys and ninjas are both cool and Jane, I better not see anymore pushing today. I wouldn't want to have to tell Grandma that none of you are getting pumpkin pie today."

"No Dad, we'll be good. I promise," Jane answers for all of them.

"Alright, let's go find Grandma and say hi then. Dave, Dirk, it was very nice to meet you."

"You too Mr. Harley," Dave responds and Mr. Egbert doesn't correct his mistake so neither do you.

After the three of them have left, Dirk lifts up from Dave's shoulder, now done with crying from his fall.

"That's it?" he asks Dave.

"What do mean little dude?"

"Their Dad was mad but he didn't yell or hurt them or anything. Do you think he'll do it later?"

You and Dave exchange a look.

"No, Dirk," Dave starts in a serious voice. "Dads aren't supposed to hurt their kids, that's wrong. They're supposed to take care of their kids and love them and help them and play with them and keep them safe and teach them right from wrong but never hurt them."

Dirk's quiet for a moment as he thinks that over. "So are you and Karkat my Dads?" he asks.

Dave's face goes red and you have to suppress a snort of laughter. "Uh.. no.. maybe kinda... but I'm your brother and Karkat's our friend but we both still love you and we will always keep you safe no matter what, okay?"

Dirk nods, seeming to understand and Dave sets him down. He grabs his sword from the floor and runs off towards the kitchen. You and Dave follow just in case you need to referee between the three kids again. Ms. Harley and Terezi are still prepping food and Mr. Egbert is leaning against on of the counters talking with them. Jane, Jake and Dirk have went out to play on the back porch, Jane and Jake on one side and Dirk and Bec on the other. You suppress a smile when you notice that Jane and Dirk keep randomly glaring and sticking their tongues out at one another while Jake keeps playing, blissfully unaware.

The day progresses nicely. Eventually Sollux decides to join the living again and even helps peel some potatoes. Once Terezi and Ms. Harley get dinner cooking nicely, most everyone heads to the living room to watch the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special. You, Dave and Ms. Harley hang back in the kitchen and you check to see if there's anything that needs done.

"Oh yeah, I know it's kind of early but can you boys get the table set?"

"Anything for you Ms. J," Dave replies and he follows you into the dining room right off the kitchen that never gets used. You go to the china cabinet and start handing him plates and bowls and he begins setting them up accordingly. The kitchen is still close enough that you can talk to Ms. Harley and the three of you banter back and forth. Dave's walking around to the other side of the table, plate in hand, rambling on about how bullshit football is. Ms. Harley is laughing at him as she pulls out her carving knives and begins to sharpen them. As soon as Dave hears the noise of them clanking together he completely freezes up and drops the plate. As it smashes on the floor, Dave presses his back against the nearest wall and he's looking round frantically, his breathing fast and labored.

You and Ms. Harley make eye contact and you snap into action. Slowly stepping around the table, you go until your standing about five feet in front of Dave and you raise both of your hands so that he can see them and then try to get him to focus on you.

"Hey Dave? Dave?" His eyes move to you but don't quite focus. "You're with me and Ms. Harley..Ms. J right now. We're at home and we're setting the table for Thanksgiving dinner, okay?" This time Dave nods and he's eyes begin to focus on you more. "I need to do something in up in my room, do you want to come help me?" you ask, knowing a change of scenery can be helpful during a panic attack, which your almost certain is what Dave is having. He nods again and you motion for him to follow you. You exchange looks with Ms. Harley again and then head towards your room. You have to pass through the living room but thankfully no one notices as you do. Once you and Dave are safely in the confines of your room, you close the door and turn your attention back to Dave, who is still breathing heavily and slightly shaking.

"Hey so I wanted to watch a movie today, do you want to watch one with me?" you ask, not knowing what else to do to distract him. Dave nods again and you grab the first movie you touch, which happens to be 'Good Luck Chuck', and pop it into the DVD player. You go over and plop down on the small couch that you had been determined to squeeze into your room and motion for Dave to follow you. He sits down on the opposite end and you grab the remote and start the movie. Dave's sitting up straight, tense and stiff. His breathing is still labored but you think it's slowed down some. You take out your phone and send a text to Ms. Harley, letting her know what you're doing and then you try to focus on the movie some.

Eventually you notice Dave's breathing returns to normal and his shaking subsides. The tension leaves him as well and he slumps back against the couch. As you're thinking about how you can probably guess what made the scars on Dave's back, he leans over, laying down on the couch, his head resting on your upper leg. You tense up and glare down at him, your first reaction to any physically contact being to push away but then you realize it's Dave and that he's tense as well, probably awaiting your rejection. You don't try to stop the smile that creeps onto your face and you place a hand on his shoulder and you can feel him relax into you. His breathing eventually slows and evens out and you're pretty sure he's fallen asleep.

Since there's still several hours until dinner, you just watch the movie and let Dave sleep. When the movie ends Dave is still sleeping so you just dick around on your phone. About 20 minutes later Dave finally stirs and he places a hand on your knee to push himself up.

"How long was I out dude?" is his first question.

"I don't know, maybe an hour and a half or two. Dinner's not done yet so you didn't miss anything."

"I'm sorry about freaking out like that man. Shit was so uncool. Did everyone see?"

"No, it was just me and Ms. Harley so don't worry about it," you try to reassure him. He looks down at the floor and slightly shakes his head.

"Thanks for uh... letting me sleep on you man. You leg is like hella comfortable. Remember when I said we should market that English book as a cure for insomnia? Well, fuck that dude, your leg would beat it hands down. People would be lining up around the block trying to get a chance to sleep on it. You logo could be "It may be bony as fuck but sleeping on it sure don't suck."

"As great of a business plan as that is Strider, we should probably get back downstairs before we miss dinner."

"Oh. Yea. That is probably a thing we should do."

The two of you go down and rejoin the group. Dinner's about half an hour from being ready and you go off to play with the kids. Ms. Harley approaches Dave and you see her fuss over him for awhile, making sure he's ok. When dinner's finally ready, you all squeeze into the dining room and Dave pats the chair next to him, apparently saving it for you. It's a nice dinner and you all spend it swapping stories and laughing. The only tension comes from Jane and Dirk, who are still glaring daggers, or in this case swords, at each other.

After you've all ate your fill, everyone helps with the clean up, even the kids. Everyone hangs out in the livingroom afterwards until it's time for bed. Once the older adults and kids are all asleep, you, Terezi, Sollux and Dave all head to your room and sit around bullshitting and fucking around for awhile. Eventually everyone agrees that they're tired and Sollux and Terezie take up residence in their normal spots on your bed. Since your bed is pretty packed with the three of you in it, Dave offers to sleep on the small couch. You can't stop the small pang of sadness that you feel over him being over their by himself though.

As usual you can't fall asleep right away and you lay there playing on your phone while Terezi snores loudly in your ear. You can see the light from Dave's phone and know that he's still awake too but you don't want to bother him, worrying that he's probably already had an overload of you lately. It's not much longer when your phone pings with a new message.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TG: dude

TG: hey karkat

TG: you awake man

CG: YOU CAN LITERALLY SEE ME ON MY PHONE STRIDER! YOU KNOW I'M FUCKING AWAKE

TG: i know but i just wanted to make sure maybe you could have been sleep typing or something

TG: but hey i didn't get to finish the movie earlier or really see any of it actually do you want to watch it now

CG: RIGHT NOW? WHAT ABOUT TEREZI AND SOLLUX?

TG: dude based on the snoring that's going on over there i don't think they're waking up anytime soon

CG: YEAH THAT'S PROBABLY TRUE. ALRIGHT GO GRAB US SOME SNACKS THEN AND ILL GET THE MOVIE STARTED.

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG]

You see Dave stand up and head out the door and you begin to slowly detach yourself from Terezi's grip. She let's out a few loud snorts but otherwise stays asleep. You go over to the couch and get everything set up and have the movie ready to go by the time Dave comes back into the room. You look up at him to see him cradling a bag of Doritos and two bottles of apple juice.

"Strider, you selfish fucking shit. You didn't bring anything you thought I would like to eat?!"

"Dude, ever since the pineapple on pizza incident I lost all trust in your taste in food. So sorry but from now on I'm the official snack food chooser. Your rights have been revoked. Besides anytime I have a bag of Doritos you always eat at least half the bag."

"That's complete bullshit and you know it. I eat maybe like three chips before your ass has the bag devoured."

"Karkat it's ok, you can admit to eating them. As my best bro you're always entitled to half my bag chips. It's part of the bro code."

The fact that he just called you his best bro leaves you unable to think of a comeback so instead you rip the bag of chips from his grip and flop down onto the couch and start the movie. Dave sits down next you and starts his standard commentary as soon as it starts playing. You both try keeping it down so you don't wake your other friends but quiet isn't really yours and Dave's fortay. Eventually you both begin to get tired and settle down some.

Dave clears the empty chip bag out of the way and scoots down the couch, resting his head against your leg like he did earlier in the day. You're kind of surprised but you don't push him away. Neither of you say anything else and you feel Dave drift to sleep soon after he lays down. You lay there for awhile longer. Warm and comfortable and content and you eventually drift off to sleep yourself. You're not even mad when you're awoken the next morning by Terezi and Sollux standing over you giggling as they take a picture of you and Strider. You just give them two obligatory middle fingers and then close your eyes to go back to sleep, Dave still pressed against your leg.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scene where Dirk wakes up screaming and Karkat goes into his room and sees Dave's back scars was the scene that started this whole thing. The panic attack and subsequent couch cuddles was also a beginning idea for this lol (and also one of my attempts at bringing scenes from the actual comic into this) 
> 
> Oh and also, when I started writing this I was only planning on this being 13 chapters and was hoping to make it at least 30,000 but obviously I've went past that lol So I'm thinking this will probably end up being about 20 chapters now, give or take a few :)
> 
> As always, thanks for reading. The comments, kudos and support are super appreciated! <3
> 
> Find me on Tumblr [ @ nuwanda717 ](//www.tumblr.com/blog/nuwanda717)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so here's a shorter chapter because I realized it was 10/25 too late to finish the massive chapter I had planned but I still wanted to put out something in honor of it ( although I'm a little sad that it couldn't be Rosemary centered =P ) So here's some more fluff for y'all, I live for sweet Dirk moments and Davekat interactions and convos if you couldn't tell ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> I promise I'll be getting back to the plot soon lol
> 
> Also, TW for quite a bit of gay negativity in this chapter ( Dave's just trying to work shit out)

You're name is Dave Strider and you are definitely, 100%, no doubts about it, **NOT** gay. You just really like hanging out with your best bro and talking to him and texting him and sitting next to him and looking at him and making him laugh. Nothing gay about that, just two best bros hanging out being cool as fuck, right? Right. And so what if you woke up today with your head cradled on his leg, for the second time in a row. And so what if it was the best you've slept in a long time or like ever really. And so what if you kinda, sorta really fucking want to do it again. It felt really nice and you and Karkat are both straight af so it's all good, right? Right. And who cares if his smile makes your stomach feel funny and if his laugh makes your chest tight. It's normal for best friends to want to make each other smile and laugh right? Right.

Yep, you are the straightest motherfucker around. You'd never like a guy, that's.... that's.... well that's just fucking gay dude, which you most definitely are not. You're as straight as the crow flies. Straight as a ruler. Straight as an arrow. Straight as a pole. Straight as a dick... wait.. what? You are definitely not thinking about dicks. And definitely not about Karkat's dick.... Shit. Ok. Let's get back on topic here.

Seriously though, you can't be gay, you've had crushes on lots of girls, tons of girls. That one Beastie Boys song 'Girls' could be your fucking theme song, that's how much you like girls. Yeah, Karkat would probably rant at you about how misogynistic that song is but whatever.. point is you like chicks. Maaann, Karkat's rants are fucking hilarious though. He gets so worked up and the way he stomps around and furrows his eyebrows is pretty cute....wait...god fucking dammit. _Girls_. That's what you're thinking about . _Girls_. Yep. You sure do love 'em, so that proves you could never have a crush on a guy right? Right.

Great. Glad that got cleared up. So it's probably safe to think about Karkat again, now that you've established that you for sure _can't_ and _don't_ have a crush on your best friend. He does have you fucked up though, in a completely _platonic_ way. Yeah, he bitches and insults you like 91.4% of the time but he does it in a way that you never actually feel insulted. You actually like listening to him. Hilarity aside, he's smart and clever and you enjoy always knowing what he's thinking and that even when he's trying to be quiet he's still loud as shit. It's a nice change from what you grew up with and it puts you at ease. Not to mention the fact that you feel safe with him. Not in like a 'he could beat anyone's ass' kind of way (although knowing Karkat he'd probably try) but more in like a 'he never judges you or makes you feel stupid or lame or weak' kind of way. He makes you feel like an actual person and you can relax and be yourself around him in a way you've never been able to with anyone else.

And even though he tries to put on a hard exterior, he's still thoughtful and considerate as fuck. He probably thinks you don't notice it but you see him. Like how he brings energy drinks for Sollux when he's overly tired or the way he tries to reel Terezi back in when she gets self destructive. The way he helps Nepeta study when she's struggling in a class and how he wears clothes that Kanaya designs even though they're not really his style. Yea, you see him and it makes you want to be the same kind of friend to him. He gets so absorbed in helping other people, yourself included, that he forgets about himself sometimes.

Shit, you didn't even see him smile the first month in a half you had known him in English but you had assumed he was just an asshole. Even when he was with Nep and Rezi he still had his perpetual scowl in place and you wondered why two cool girls like that would be friends with such a dick. The first time you had ever seen him smile was that first night he had taken Dirk to the park and even then, when you didn't even really like him, it had brought you up short. And even now that you're best friends and you've got to see him laugh and smile more it still gives you pause and makes you feel things inside that you can't quite process but you;re sure that's just a normal heterosexual thing all best bros feel sometimes, right? Right.

Still you don't think he smiles and laughs nearly enough and you want to change that. You get those same unprocessable, but completely normal bro feelings when you see him sad and it makes you want to...want to... shit, you don't know but it makes you want to do somethi-...

"DAVE!?"

Karkat startles you out of your thoughts and you really fucking hope that you hadn't been thinking them out loud cuz shit that'd be mad embarrassing but he doesn't say anything about it so you think you're ok. You turn to see him standing in your doorway.

"Oh hey dude, sup?"

"I'm going to the mall in like a hour. As much as it physically pains me to have to go out into that mass horde of blithering idiots today, there's some shit I need to pick up for Christmas. Do you want to come? Terezi won't go becasue she doesn't want to miss out on leftovers and I'm not even going to bother asking Sollux's antisocial ass. I don't really want to go alone though."

"You're going Black Friday shopping? I thought only chicks did that shit."

He rolls his eyes and fixes you with his best exasperated glare, "I fucking swear sometimes talking to you is like stepping back in time 50 years Strider. Now if you think you can handle the shell shock of seeing actual guys *gasp* shopping, do you want to fucking come with me or not? We could bring Dirk so he can see Santa."

"I don't think Dirk's gonna be down for the whole Santa thing but yea man we'll go."

"Alright fucker, get ready then cuz I'm not waiting for your ass."

"My ass is totally worth waiting for bro."

"Ok, why do you always have to go from zero to douche in the blink of a fucking eye?"

"There's a lot of things I can do in the blink of an eye Karkat," you say and lower your shades to wink at him.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's what all the girls say too, you overly smug fucker."

You can't help it when you let out a laugh. Instead of being embarrassed as you normally would you step over to him and throw an arm around his shoulders.

"Dude, don't be jealous just cuz you'll never get to test that theory."

"Jealous? Motherfucker please," he says and pushes away from your grasp and walks towards the door. "I'm going to go say a special prayer of thanks to every god in existence that 'I will never get to test that theory' and you better be fucking ready to go by the time I'm done or I'm seriously leaving without you."

He shoots you one last cute as fuck glare before he disappears through your door. Wait, not cute. Hilarious. He shoots you one last *hilarious* glare. You don't think your best friend is cute. Nope. Not at all. And you definitely weren't disappointed when he pulled away from you. No, that would be gay. Which you're not, right? Right....

\---

Okay, so why the fuck did you think going to the mall on Black Friday with a high anxiety preschooler with a deep seated fear of strangers was a good idea? Fuck, you're really questioning some of your life choices today. Dirk hasn't left your arms since you got out the car (which Ms. Harley thankfully let you and Karkat borrow so you wouldn't have to take the bus). He's barely lifted his face from your shoulder and your arms and back are aching. You'd spent over an hour following Karkat around while he had shopped and even bought a couple of things yourself but he went off on his own about 30 minutes ago , claiming there was shopping he had to do that you and Dirk can't see. So now your left aimlessly wandering a shitty packed mall by yourself, holding your little bro and trying not to flip out yourself over the crowd of people.

You've been trying to find a place to sit but every fucking seat has been taken so far. Like fucking chairs have apparently become a hot commodity or something. Chair stocks are probably soaring at wall street right now, all like fucking.... like fucking... ugh, your metaphors are usually shitty but this is a low point even for you. God dammit, you can't think with all these damn people swarming around you. Fuck! Did it just get more crowded. Yea, it must have and it's really fucking loud and you can't think or hear. What if someone's trying to sneak up on you, you wouldn't even know. Fucking shit.

You're stating to breathe more heavily and your eyes are darting frantically around. Your heart is pounding so hard in your chest that's making it even more difficult to hear, as if you weren't already freaking out over the noise level. Thank fuck for your shades right now. You've stopped walking, trying to process if anything's a threat. A women bumps into you from behind and murmurs a rude complaint. Fuck, was she trying to distract you from an attack? You gotta move out of this cluster fuck of people. * _Right now*._

As best as you can, you push yourself to the edge of the group you had been immersed in and press your back against the nearest wall, allowing yourself to see anything that may be coming. You're breathing is still fast and you can't stop yourself from scanning everything back and forth. You're not in full blown panic mode yet but fuck are you getting there fast. You're focused in on a guy to your left who seems like he could be headed towards you when you feel something touch you on your upper right arm. You jump to left , away from it and set your feet into a guarded stance and tighten your grip on Dirk.

"Dave?"

Shit. Karkat's staring up at you, a worried frown on his face. You just stare back at him not really able to talk due to your damn breathing still being fucked but just seeing him there already has you feeling calmer. Dammit, you wish you hadn't moved away from his touch. He sets his bags down and puts his hands back up but they're not for you.

"Here, let me take Dirk for awhile, I bet he's getting heavy," he says and lifts Dirk out of your arms, settling him into the same position on his. "Fuck, I am so stupid, I shouldn't have fucking brought you guys here. I don't know what I was thinking. Obviously I wasn't. Classic Karkat fuck up, doesn't think shit through," he says, presumably to himself given the mumbley tone of it. You have the urge to comfort him but can't really do shit at the moment. You're still regretting moving from his touch and so you move closer to him, pressing you shoulder and arm as tightly against his side as you can without knocking him over. You're looking straight ahead but can see him as he stops mumbling to himself and looks up at you. He doesn't say anything but he doesn't move away either.

The two of you, well three if you include Dirk, stand there in silence for a solid 10 minutes, pressed side to side. You work on getting your breathing back under control, using the breathing practices your therapist taught you to do. She also told you that focusing on something real can help and you choose to focus on Karkat, as best as you can since you're still facing forward. You take in his dark, messy hair that somehow still looks good on him even with it's constant state of out of controlness. You count the faint scars on his face, there's three that you can see. A pretty good sized one on his forehead, a smaller one right above the corner of his left eyebrow and another right above his upper lip. You notice he's still scowling and he's biting at his lower lip like he always does when he's worried. You're still focused on his lips when Karkat breaks the silence.

"I'm so fucking sorry I brought you guys here, Dave. Past me is the dumbest bucket of festering filth I ever fell ass backwards into."

Your breathing is mostly back to normal now so thankfully you're able to respond because all you want to do is wipe that sad look off of his face.

"Nah man, s'all good. We wanted to come, just wasn't expecting so many people. We'll be ok now that your back," You give him a small smile when he looks up at you. And then to make sure that doesn't come across too gay you add "I mean seriously dude, no one parts a crowd with just an angry glare quiet like you do." He rolls his eyes and looks back down but you don't miss the small smile on his face as he does so.

"Ok well do you want to go get something to eat then? We can eat here or leave and go somewhere else," he says.

"Fuck yes bro. I'm pretty sure my stomach has started eating itself by this point. It's probably in there filming a vore video as we speak," you're cutoff from continuing when Karkat nudges you with his elbow.

"That's fucking disgusting Strider! I seriously want to weep actual puke out of my eyeballs from that sentence."

"Sick dude. That's way more gross than my stomach wanting to vore itself," you retort and elbow him back.

"Whatever, can we please poke our heads up from this gulch of idiotic banter and see if the coast is clear for an adult conversation so we can decide where the fuck to eat sometime to-fucking-day."

"Maan I don't give a shit dude as long as it's food and I don't even know what this shitty mall has to offer as far as food goes anyways. Just pick somewhere."

Karkat glares at you but turns his attention to Dirk instead. He asks him if there's anything special he would like to eat and you can't stop the smirk you give Karkat when Dirk's one word response is 'Food.'

"Ok, I give up. Let's just go to the food court. I'm sure there's enough kid food there to suit your juvenile fancy, Strider."

"Alright then. Lead the way oh fearless leader. Part this red sea of idiots for us with your most fearsome glare."

With another glare directed your way Karkat starts off, so you grab his shopping bags and follow closely behind. Once at the food court you grab some burgers and fries for you and Dirk and Karkat gets some shitty Thai food that he bitches about the whole time. Even though it's pretty cold outside your trio opts to eat at one of the outdoor tables to avoid the ridiculous influx of people that has descended upon the food court right now. After you've all finished eating, Karkat asks Dirk of he wants to go see Santa and he agrees after both of you reassure him that he can just look and doesn't have to sit on his lap. Karkat offers to carry him again which your arms and back are eternally grateful for. When you reach the area where the fat man in the red suit is set up Karkat finds a spot to stand where Dirk can see him without even having to lift his head up from Karkat's chest.

"Can you see him little man?" you ask just to make sure.

"Yep. Is that really him?"

"Of course dude."

"Whys he at the mall then. Shouldn't he be making toys?"

"Nah, he's got elves for that little dude, he's here so all the kids can tell him what they want."

"Well why do they have tell him, I thought Santa's supposed to see everything," the skeptical little shit asks you.

"Dude, he can _see_ everything that's happening but he can't read minds that's why kids have to tell him what they want," you respond, pulling an answer out of your ass.

"But you said I wouldn't have to talk to him and he would still know what I want," he accuses you and fuck, he has you backed into a corner here. Thankfully Karkat intervenes.

"Santa can't read minds when he's way up at the North Pole but when you're this close to him he has magic that will let him know what you want for Christmas, even if you don't tell him. And how about when we get home we write and mail him a letter just to make sure."

Dirk nods at this explanation and turns his gaze back to Santa. Shit, Karkat is the fucking best yo. He's so amazing with Dirk and it makes your heart wrench up as you watch the two of them standing there and you feel that fluttery feeling in your stomach again. In an attempt to ignore those feelings you decide to try to get Santa's attention.

"YO SANTA!!!" you yell at the top of your lungs, startling Karkat and Dirk. Thankfully though you startle the dude playing Santa as well and he looks over at you. You give him a double thumbs up and point to Dirk and although the guy looks a little confused he gives you a thumbs up in return. You hear Dirk let out a small gasp when he does.

"See little man, he knows."

Dirk gives you the biggest fucking smile and Karkat's giving you a look like you're the best thing since sliced bread and fuck dude, at that moment you really feel like you are. You ruffle Dirks hair and give him a kiss on his forehead and you flash Karkat a smile and throw your arm around his shoulders again.

"Alright dude, let's get out of this wasteland of commercialism and go home a finish off whatever leftovers Terezi hasn't demolished."

Karkat gives a snort of amusement but doesn't respond. He doesn't pull away from you either and the two of you walk off with your arm still around him.. That weird feeling in your chest and stomach is back in full force but this time you don't try to stomp it down. You're just two best bros hanging out, nothing gay or out of the ordinary here right? Right...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr [ @ nuwanda717 ](//www.tumblr.com/blog/nuwanda717)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't made it clear before but this story takes place in Seattle, just an FYI so parts of this chapter will make more sense.
> 
> My computer decided to randomly be a little punk and this chapter got deleted when I was halfway thru writing it >=\ it was a struggle to get motivated after that and I’m not 100% happy with how this chapter came out but I hope y’all still enjoy it :)

Back at home you help you help Karkat carry his bags up to your room, where you hide them in your closet. He had asked if he could keep them there because if not Terezi will go through them trying to find her present. Since he already bought her gift he doesn’t want to take the chance but with the threat of violence, he makes you swear that you won't do the same thing and you can’t help the swelling in your chest when you realize that that means he bought you a present too.

Dirk had run off as soon as you opened the front door, presumably to resume his passive aggressive war with Jane and Jake, which you think is funny as fuck. In your defense though Dirk usually avoids other kids like the plague so the fact that he's interacting with them at all makes you surprised and happy as shit. Plus, it's cute as fuck that he's using Bec as his ally.

"Do you want to see what I bought Dirk for Christmas so far?" Karkat asks, pulling you from your thoughts. You shake your head yes and he starts looking through his shopping bags.

"I probably should have asked you if it was ok to buy him stuff first so if you don't like any of these just let me know and I'll take them back," he says pulling out a couple different sized boxes and holding them up for you to see. "They're robotic kits. Like with this one he can make different motorized car things and this one is an actual robot and then with this one he can make different animals with. I know they're not really for his age group but Dirk's so damn smart and he really seems to be interested in this shit so.... I thought it would be ok. Fuck, I really should have asked you about these first...." he says trailing off and biting at his lower lip.

"No dude, these are bad ass! He's going to love them. Like seriously 10/10 this is going to be his favorite gift," you tell him and you're not even exaggerating.

"Really?" he asks and you nod at him. He smiles and puts the boxes back in the bag and shoves them back onto the top shelf of your closet. As he's doing so he keeps talking.

"Oh hey, I keep meaning to ask you when Dirk's birthday is?"

"Oh. It's on the 3rd."

"The 3rd of what month dumbass?"

"Of December," you respond and Karkat whips around and stares at you.

"December? The 3rd of fucking December?" You nod in agreement. "That's like a week away Strider! Don't you want to throw him a party or something? I mean we could do it here and invite his friends from preschool. I know Ms. Harley wouldn't mind having...."

"Dude, Dirk doesn't have any friends at preschool or like anywhere," you say cutting him off.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean he doesn't have any friends. That's one of the reasons he hates going to preschool so much. The kids are all mean little assholes to him so he just shuts down and plays by himself every day. His teacher is always on my ass about it. But yeah dude, a party with no friends would probably just bum him out. I'm just going to take him to a movie or something."

Karkat just stares at you and doesn't respond right away. He's worrying at his bottom lip with his teeth again. If your lips were that full you'd probably chew at them too. He breaks eye contact with you and goes over and stands by your desk, staring down at one of your text books while gliding his fingers gently over the cover of it. You've noticed his hands before, he keeps his nails meticulously short and his fingers are long and slim. You wonder if he's ever played an instrument.

"Has Dirk ever been to the beach?"

"Huh? Oh. No. You'd think living in Houston I would have taken him but I never got the chance. I went once on a field trip in elementary school though. There were chicks in bikinis everywhere, it was the dopeness dude. First time I'd ever seen one in real life, it was like a fucking Baywatch episode, dramatic slow runs and everything..."

"Strider, as touching as this chauvinistic walk down memory lane has been I had a fucking point here."

"Well hop to it then man, don't let my mesmerizing voice distract you."

"The only thing your voice does is make me want to shove sharp fucking pencils into my ears. Now, my *point* is, what if we took Dirk to one of the beaches around here for his birthday? I mean I know it's cold as fuck out but the beaches are really pretty this time of year and there won't be a lot of people, which would be good for Dirk. Oh and if we go during low tide he could find an ass load of shells and I don't know, we could maybe do like a birthday picnic for him or something. I mean there won't be any scantily clad women for you to disgustingly ogle but I think Dirk would really like it.. I don't know " he says, trailing off when his self-doubt begins to set in.

"Yea dude, that actually sounds perfect. I think he'll really be excited," you assure him and you get small smile in response. Keeping in line with your usual tradition of ruining the moment you continue, "And don't worry about no chicks being there, you can just wear a bikini for me some time to make up for it Karkitty." The disgusted look on his face is priceless.

"You are so fucking weird Strider, remind me again why the fuck I'm best friends with you? And don't ever call me that again or I swear I will beat your ass."

"Dude it's a privilege to be my best friend. That's like a coveted fucking position bro. If anything you should be thanking me, not to mention the fact that I've bestowed upon you your own personal nickname. That's like god tier on the bro-a-meter yo. You should be relishing in the glory of it, rolling around with it like that shits an irresistible ball of yarn just like the *Karkitty* that you are. Besides you know my only goal in life is to make you purr Karkittttyyy," you retort and for a moment you think that he's actually going to hit you, he looks so hilariously mad. But then he strolls over to you and gets right up in your face.

"Strider, let's be real here. You wouldn't fucking know what to do with me if I did ever wear a bikini, let alone make me purr, you arrogant fucking jackass," he says and you can't think of a reply because now you head is filled with thoughts of a scantily clad, purring Karkat and even you can't deny the gayness of that. But he put those thoughts there so it doesn't count right? Of fucking course it doesn't." Now, your laughable sexual prowess aside, as much as I hate to admit it, you are actually a decent best friend but don't ever ask me to repeat that okay?"

You don't respond right away because you're still trying to think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts. think unsexy thoughts.... but that's not really working because Karkat’s still all up in your grill and he's waiting for a response... shit.. you do the only reasonable thing you can do in a moment like this and lick the side of his face. Karkat recoils like he’s been burned and vigorously wipes at his cheek with the sleeve of his sweater. He looks mortified and furious and oh man did you definitely make the right decision here.

"I was trying to pay you a compliment you antagonizing fuck!!!"

"Sorry dude, that's just how Striders say thank you."

"Yeah well you can officially count on me never doing anything nice for you *ever* again you disgusting dick fondler," he snaps, still wiping at his cheek. Since he's already pissed you decide to go easy on him and not mention the 'dick fondler' comment. Instead you just give him your best shit eating grin although he doesn't look pleased about that either.

"Come on dude, let's go grab some leftovers," you suggest.

"I’m not going anywhere with you Strider and my fucking appetite is ruined now anyways," he dramatically says. You roll your eyes just as dramatically before responding.

"Dude, don't be like that. Look, if there's any pie left you can have my share okay?"

He narrows his eyes at you, seemingly considering your offer. Finally, he throws his hands up in defeat. "Fine! But you have to fucking make my plate too and promise not to lick any of my food."

"Alright dude but I'm pretty sure making you a plate of food signifies that we're married now."

He throws his hands up again and turns and stomps out of the room. Since he heads down the stairs you follow him with laugh, at which he turns and gives you the one finger salute. He makes it to the kitchen before you do and you have to laugh again when you enter and see him angrily fixing his own plate. This time in response to your laugh you see him try to suppress a smile before he finally lets out a cute laugh of his own. Feeling accomplished, you go over and join him in making your own plate of food and the two of you sit together at the table while you eat and bullshit back and forth.

After you finish eating Karkat makes a big production about getting the pie out and it turns out there really is only two pieces left. Despite all his bluster about eating both pieces he still brings you a plate with one the pieces and the sweet words of “I’m not really going to eat your pie asshole, just make sure you choke on it.” (‘Choke on it’, fuck why does he keep filling your head with sexual thoughts. Pie. Focus on the pie.) You feel that dumb fluttery feeling in your stomach again but when you see him cut the last remaining piece into three sections and call Dirk, Jake and Jane in to eat it, you really feel like your hearts going to explode.

After he gets the three happy kids seated at the table he comes back and sits next to you again. You raise your eyebrows at him and he just shrugs and looks down embarrassed. “You big softie,” you say and nudge him with your shoulder. You slide your plate of pie so that it’s in the middle of you and Karkat and you get up and go and grab him a fork. Sitting back down you hand it to him with the offer of “let’s share.” He accepts and the two of you sit there, sharing a piece of pie and talking and laughing with the three little ones across the table. Just some ordinary, casual bro time happening here. Even if you can’t stop yourself from glancing at his lips while he’s eating or the fact that you scoot your chair a little closer so that your knees are touching and that you don’t move away when his arm brushes against your own. Karkat doesn’t seem to think any of this is weird though so all this must be acceptable straight friend things to do right? Yup, definitely just a perfectly casual best friends moment and one that you wish would never end.

\---

The Monday after Thanksgiving break you and Karkat resume your routine of walking to school together and dropping off Dirk at preschool on the way. Karkat's much more concerned about leaving Dirk alone there now and gave him a huge pep talk the whole way there about not letting the other kids bother him and if anything happens to let him know and he will come in and make sure the teacher doesn't let it happen again. Before you take him through the door Karkat scoops him up and gives him a huge hug which Dirk whole heartedly returns.

"I love you Dirk, you're seriously the coolest, smartest, nicest kid I know and I want you to always know that, okay?" he says and gives Dirk a kiss on the top of his head. Dirk just nods his head in answer and squeezes Karkat back just as tight. After Karkat sets him back down he bounds over to you and you pick him up to take him inside as you usually do. Normally Karkat waits outside for you but today he follows you in. Dirks grip on your jacket tightens as soon as you walk through the door and you prepare yourself for the battle of having to dislodge him but Karkat jumps in before it begins.

"Hey Dirk, can you show me where you sit?" he asks, holding his hand out for Dirk to take. You attempt to set him on the ground and to your surprise he goes down without a fight and after getting his plush horsey from you he walks over and grabs Karkat’s hand to lead him to where he sits. Unfortunately Dirks teacher takes this opportunity to come over and lecture you a-fucking-gain about Dirk's lack of participation but you're grateful for your shades so you can pay attention to your little bro and best friend while absentmindedly nodding at whatever the fuck she’s babbling about.

"Alright cool kid, “Karkat says, holding out his fist for Dirk to bump, "have a good day and when we get home you'll help me work on those ninja moves again right." To this Dirk just nods, already going into silent mode now that he's around other kids. "Sweet, thanks dude," Karkat responds and then turn his attention to the other 4 kids sitting at the table. "Man you guys sure are lucky you get to set with Dirk, he's the coolest kid I know."

"You think Dirk's cool?" one of the braver kids asks.

"Oh dude, of course. He funny and smart and knows all the cool games, not to mention he's got mad ninja skills. Me and all my other *college* friends love hanging out with him and we'd be really mad if *anyone* was ever mean to him or didn't let him play with them," Karkat says to the kid, slightly narrowing his eyes as he finishes his sentence. The kids at the table are all looking at him wide eyed and when he's done they all glance nervously at each other and then at Dirk. The brave kid speaks up again.

"Um, hey Dirk you wanna play blocks with me today at playtime?" Dirk's still staring down at the table but gives a small shrug of his shoulders so Karkat jumps in.

"Dirk you should show them how to build that really rad castle you built for me the other day. I bet they've never seen one like that before." Dirk looks up at him and Karkat gives him a reassuring smile. Dirk looks over at the other kid and says a quiet "Okay" and brave kid actually smiles back at him. Karkat apparently pleased by this holds out his arm for another fist bump with Dirk.

"Awesome little dude. Alright, I gotta go for real now but make sure to tell me if anyone gives you trouble today okay?" Karkat says, glancing again at all the kids at Dirk's table. You have to stifle a laugh as he heads back over to you.

"Mr. Strider! Have you been paying attention to one word I’ve said?" the teacher accusingly questions you and nope you sure as fuck haven't.

"Oh yea, yea. His therapist is working with him on it," you say, figuring that will appease most of what she had been bitching at you about. By this time Karkat has joined you and seeing your out you grab his hand and start pulling him toward the exit. "Alright see ya later," you say and wave at the teacher who frowns back at you. Once back outside Karkat rips his hand out of your grasp.

"Dave, what the fuck? I wanted to fucking talk to her about how Dirk is being treated."

"Oh. Sorry man, she just fucking makes me feel cornered and I needed to get away," you offer as an explanation and Karkat frowns at you.

"Dave, you have to talk to her though. Dirks doing better in every other area of his life except her classroom? There's something wrong there and she needs to fucking fix it. She can't place that blame solely on you, that's fucking bullshit and you know it," he says, to which you shrug.

"Don't you fucking shrug your shoulders at me, shit bag," he continues. "I was going to talk to her today but you rudely pulled me away and now that I think about it, it's probably better for you to do it anyway considering she doesn't even know who the fuck I am," he says, still frowning up at you. You don't respond, keeping your face neutral cuz you really don't want to have this conversation. "Oh for fucks sake Strider! I'll fucking go in with you and hold your fucking hand if you need but you have to talk to her."

"God damn Karkat, you're always looking for an excuse to hold my hand huh?" The look he gives you is comedy gold but the by the way he clenches his fists you're pretty sure he wants to punch you so you continue on, “Relax, I'll fucking talk to her when I pick up Dirk tonight. Shit'll be handled like it’s a dollar bill at a strip club.” He visibly relaxes at this and even gives you a smile and fuck. Why do you feel so accomplished when you've made him happy?

“Ok but we still need to address the real issue here Karkat,” he looks at you quizzically. “Did you just low key threaten a group of preschoolers?” you ask, trying to hold back a laugh. He looks shocked for a moment before putting on his defensive face.

“No! Fuck you Strider. I just *implied* the violence part because even if they don’t let Dirk play with them I wanted them to at least leave him alone from now on. They didn’t need to know that it’s the teacher’s ass that I would come in and kick if anything happened. Don’t you fucking judge me.”

"Nah dude, it’s actually pretty adorable you wanted to protect Dirk like that but fuck it was still funny to watch,” you explain, not holding back your laughter this time. Karkat still looks embarrassed but not nearly as defensive about it. “Hey, we're already going to be late for English and I gotta stop by the post office to mail some packages, you wanna come with me?"

"As long as this is legitimately you wanting me to walk with you to the post office and not leading up to some joke about me "coming with you" then yea I'll go. At least I won't get in trouble for being late if I walk in with you since you can do no wrong in Ms. William's eyes."

"What can I say, she probably wants a piece of this delicious Strider ass too."

"Please, she probably just wants to make sure your *annoying* Strider ass doesn't take her class again. There's only so much the general population can stomach of you each day Dave. So what do you have to mail anyway? Not that it's my business... Seriously you don't have to tell me. Sorry," he says and you hate how quick he is to doubt himself.

"Nah man, it's cool. You can always ask me anything. I gotta mail some birthday gifts to my sisters."

"Oh. How many sister's do you have?"

"Two. Rose and Roxy."

How old are they?"

"Rose is a year younger than me so she's turning 18 and Roxy is a year older than Dirk so she'll be 6 soon."

"Hhmm. Do they still live your Bro?"

"Fuck no. I would *never* have left them there with that piece of shit," you snap and Karkat looks guilty for even thinking that, so you continue explaining. "They live in New York with our Mom. Our parents split up when me and Rose were little and Bro got me and Mom got Rose. Boys need their fathers and girls need their mothers and all that bullshit. Roxy came along after we went there to visit one time and they apparently made a drunken attempt at reconciliation. Ugh, I don't even want to think about that though."

"What about Dirk?"

"Oh. Dirk actually has a different mom. My mom's sister to be exact. From what me and Rose have pieced together I guess Mom invited Bro up there to shack up again and he ended up knocking up our aunt instead. Mom was beyond pissed to say the least."

"Fuck. How come your Aunt didn't keep custody or Dirk then?"

"Eh, I guess when she realized Bro wouldn't be in a relationship with her she didn't want anything to do with Dirk, so Bro got custody. She actually ended up over dosing a few months after Dirk was born."

"Holy shit, how does this story keep getting worse?"

"Yea, welcome to the Stilonde family, Lifetime movies ain't got nothing on us," you say with a hollow laugh. By this time you've arrived at the post office and you go in and get your packages mailed off. Once back outside Karkat continues his line of questioning as you head toward campus.

"How come you didn't go live with your mom after you got away from Bro?"

"That was originally the plan but my mom literally *hates* Dirk. Guess he's a reminder of her sister’s and Bro's betrayal or some shit. She basically said I was welcome but only if I came without Dirk. She's always been a cold bitch but that was definitely her crowning moment."

"Fuck Dave," he says quietly, placing a hand on your shoulder. You have to resist the urge to press into his side. " you really got a raw cut of the asshole deck huh?"

"Hhmm," you respond with a shrug. Honestly it took you forever to realize that your family wasn't normal. Fuck, they're so far from normal that normal might as well not even exist. If your family was the basis for normal there'd be people building religions based on faith in normalcy only since there'd be no actually proof. Philosophers would write manuscripts arguing about its existence. Goverments would set laws-

"I hope I'll get to meet them someday. Your sisters I mean."

"Huh? Oh, yeah actually Rose just messaged me last night that she and Rox might be able to come out her for Christmas. I still need to talk to Ms. J to see if they can stay with us but if not I'm sure they could get a hotel room or something."

"Dude, that's awesome! Ms. Harley would seriously be offended if they didn't stay with us though."

"Yea, probably but I didn't want to just assume. Oh man Karkat, you are going to love my sisters though. Roxy is the cutest, sweetest thing ever. Like seriously I don't think anyone can *not* love her dude, she's like a cute little cherub. And Rose is mad smart and like funny as fuck but in like the weirdest, most sarcastic way possible. And they're both ridiculously pretty. Fuck, pretty isn't even the right word, they're beautiful. And sorry dude, Rose is off limits. No trying to make a move on her while she's here."

"I'm so glad you think so highly of me that you think I'm going to fucking hit on your sister the first time I meet her. When she's here on her vacation, with her 6 year old sister, to see her fucking brothers, for Christmas no less. Thanks a fucking lot Strider," he grumbles, crossing his arms defensively.

"Nah bro, I don't think low of you, it's just Rose is that pretty so I had to warn you," you offer in explanation and he uncrosses his arms.

"Well still I wouldn't fucking do that Dave. I do have some manners. But offensive accusations aside I really am excited to meet them," he says, giving you a small but happy smile. You smile back at him. You've reached Ms. William’s class so you open the door for him and put your neutral expression back in place before following him in. Ms. Williams gives you a questioning look so you mouth 'Sorry' to her and she doesn’t say anything further. Karkat walks to the other side of the room and takes his seat next to Terezi and Nepeta and this isn't the first time that you wish you could switch desks to be closer to them. You open your backpack to pull out your textbook and notice that one of Karkat's notebooks ended up in your bag. You pull it out and busy yourself the rest of the class filling it will drawings of dicks and shitty comics but mostly dicks. Karkat’s going to love it.

\---

The rest of the week goes by fairly normally. Ms. J agreed that the beach was a great idea for Dirk’s birthday and you, her and Karkat have spent the week planning it out. You had all agreed that it should be kept as a surprise for Dirk. When Sunday morning (Dirk’s actual birthday) rolls around, you wake up super early and head into your little brother’s room, wanting to get some alone time with him before everyone else wakes up. This is his first birthday away from Bro and you want it to be extra special. You whistle for Bec and he hops off the bed, trotting over to you so you can give him a few pats before he curls up on the floor.

You crawl up onto Dirk’s bed and lay down next to him. He’s still sound asleep so you take a few minutes to just stare at him. You absentmindedly brush his hair out of his face and study his features. He’s getting so big and you notice that his cheeks have filled out, no longer the gaunt hollows they were when you lived with Bro. It’s coming up on a year since you got custody of him and it’s crazy what a difference you can see in Dirk, both physically and mentally. You have to stomp down the voice in your head that whispers that this is only temporary and Bro will get custody back eventually. Fuck that voice. You’ll die before you let that happen. Bringing your focus back to the present, you begin to wake Dirk up.

“Dirk. Hey Dirk,” you say, gently stroking his hair. “It’s time to wake up little man.” He groans and stretches out before he peeks an eye open to look at you. “Dave,” he says and snuggles into you.

“Hey little guy. Happy Birthday,” you tell him and kiss the top of his head.

“Am I 5 now?” he sleepily asks.

“Yup little dude, I’m not going to be able to call you little much longer.” Even sleepy, he looks proud of that fact. “Hey I got you some presents, do you want to open them now?”

“I get presents?” he asks and the surprised look on his face makes you both sad and angry because Bro never allowed presents on birthdays or holidays. In fact he went out of his way to make sure those days were extra miserable.

“Heck yeah dude. The best day of my life was the day you were born and I got to finally meet you. We gotta celebrate that.” Now that presents have been mentioned he’s wide awake and sits up excitedly with a smile. You follow suit and grab the bag you brought with you from the floor and pull it onto the bed.

“Ok so first things first,” you say and pull out his first surprise from the bag. “you gotta start the day with something good to eat.” You had picked up some of his favorite doughnuts and he wastes no time scarfing one down. After he’s finished eating it, he launches himself at you and gives you a sticky, sprinkle filled hug and a muffled “Thanks Dave.”

“Alright, so second things second or however it goes, you gotta look extra rad on your birthday,” you say and pull out two wrapped presents from the bag. The first box contains a couple new shirts and jeans and a nice winter jacket with the Batman logo and the second box has some new light up Batman shoes. Dirk rips them open and jumps up and down on the bed with excitement before he launches himself at you for another hug. You laugh and squeeze him back, amused by the fact he so excited over clothes. He’s definitely your brother.

“Ok Dirk, third things third, you gotta have something fun to open on your birthday,” you say as you pull the last two wrapped presents from the bag. You bought him a Batman lego set and a realistic horse farm playset thing. Dirk rips them open again and he lets out an excited yell that you’re sure wakes up Karkat.

“Thanks bro! These are sooo awesome!! Thank you, thank you,” he yells and comes over and hugs you again. You have to hold back tears because fuck, you love seeing him so excited and happy. You wish you could give him the world.

“Alright little bro, so fourth things fourth, we gotta go somewhere fun for your birthday,” you say and he starts getting excited again. “BUT we have to wait for Karkat and Ms. J to wake up so we can all go.” Dirk deflates a little so you continue,” So since we have a while before they wake up do you want to play with one of your new toys?” He perks up again and nods eagerly and runs over and grabs the horsey playset. (Dammit, you were hoping he’d go for the legos.)

The two of you spend a solid hour setting up the farm and making the horses gallop around and do other horse type shit. Dirk gets really excited when you do different voices for each or the horses and you both spend a good amount of time thinking up funny names for them. Sir Jumps-A -lot and Bonnie Anne Clydesdale are your personal favorites. Finally you hear Karkat get up and so you and Dirk clean up and head down stairs.

Ms. J is already awake and in the process of making a special pancake birthday breakfast. Dirk runs over to her and she scoops him up and gives him 5 birthday kisses and sets him on the counter so he can help her finish cooking. When Karkat comes in he goes over and scoops Dirk up and swirls him around as he tells him happy birthday. When he sets him back down you notice that he sneaks him a couple pieces of candy before he comes over to sit with you at the table.

Once they’re done cooking, Ms. J sends Dirk over to sit at the table while she finishes the crowning touches on his breakfast. Finally she brings over a huge plate of #5 shaped pancakes that are covered in whip cream, syrup, strawberries and sprinkles. She stuck in 5 candles and you all sing Happy Birthday to Dirk as she sets it in front of him. After he blows out the candles, he digs in and the rest of you get up and make your own plates.

When you’re all sufficiently stuffed, everyone heads off to get showered and dressed for the day. You’re really happy when Dirk wants to wear the new clothes that you bought for him. Once everyone’s dressed and ready to go, you all squeeze into Ms. J’s car, including Bec. Since Bec is so huge and wiggly, you suggested he could sit in the front passenger seat while the rest of you sit in the back. Your suggestion absolutely had nothing to do with the fact that you’ll get to sit pressed against Karkat for the whole ride.

As pumped up as Dirk is for his Birthday trip surprise, the early wake up coupled with the sugar rush he had the whole morning catch up with him and he falls asleep during the drive while holding your hand. Ms. J turns on the radio and sings and dances along to every song that comes on, even when she doesn’t know the words. Karkat covers his face, apparently embarrassed by this. You can’t miss an opportunity to further his embarrassment, plus you think Ms. J’s singing and dancing is mad adorable, so you join in.

“Yeeeaaahhh Ms. J!! You really know how to rock out huh,” you say, starting to dance along as much as you can without waking Dirk. Karkat shoots you a look like you just betrayed him.

“Wooo Dave, you should have seen me when I was younger!” she says, laughing and bobbing her head to the beat.

“Oh god, why do I have to consistently surround myself with the most embarrassing assholes in existence?” Karkat interjects and you make a point to knock into to him as much as possible as you dance.

“I bet all the dudes wanted to dance with you Ms. J,” you say, ignoring Karkat.

“Yep, and all the girls too,” she responds and whoa, you weren’t expecting that but you awkwardly laugh it off, not knowing what to say.

“Did you know I used to play in a band Dave?” Ms. J asks, keeping the conversation going.

“Seriously?” you ask, pausing your dancing because you really are surprised by that. She nods and glances at you in the rearview mirror. “What did you play?”

“Guitar mostly and sometimes I’d do vocals.”

“That’s really f-ing dope Ms. J. Do you still play?”

“Sometimes. Not in a band anymore, obviously, but I still like to play my guitar, mostly for Bec.”

“Would you play for me?” you ask without thinking and then feel embarrassed by how eager and pathetic that probably sounded.

“Of course!” she enthusiastically responds, apparently excited about your eagerness rather than thinking you’re a dork. “Do you play anything?”

“Um, I used to have turntables and I’d make a lot of mixes and shit. And I can kinda of play drums but I never got to practice on those very much.”

“How neat! If you’re interested maybe I can teach you guitar,” she offers and holy fuck, yes that’s definitely a thing that you want to happen.

“Yea, that’d be cool,” you say and she smiles at you in the rearview mirror. Karkat still has his arms crossed and is looking out the window but he glances at you with a small smile when he notices you looking at him. The light is hitting the left side of his face and you like the way it shines through his hair and illuminates his skin, highlighting his eyelashes and the curve of his mouth. Wanting to capture the moment you pullout your phone and snap a picture of him before he even notices what you’re doing. When he realizes what you’ve done his face twists into pure indignation and its such a hilarious contrast from the picture you just took that you snap another one. Now he just looks angry but thankfully you’ve arrived at the beach and you’re saved from whatever verbal assault he was about to unleash on you when Ms J announces your arrival.

“We’re here boys!” she sings and you turn away from Karkat and busy yourself with waking up Dirk.

Karkat opens his door and gets out of the car and once Dirk is awake you slide over and get out as well. Karkat’s still waiting by the open door when you get out.

“You better fucking delete those pictures Dave,” he says as soon as you’re out.

“Nah bro, I’ve been needing a new background picture for my phone anyway,” you retort, heading around the car so that you can get Dirk out.

“I swear I will break your fucking phone and then your face if you don’t delete those Strider,” he threatens.

Unperturbed you reply, “I’m not deleting them dude, they’re good pictures and I like them.” He opens his mouth to answer but you cut him off and offer a compromise instead. “I promise I won’t show anyone okay?” He closes his mouth and stares at you.

“Fine,” he says with an eyeroll and starts helping Ms. J unload the trunk.

You open the car door and undo the straps on Dirks booster seat and pull him out of the car. You hold him in your arms so that he can get a better first view of the beach. He stares at it wide eyed, looking around at everything.

“Are we… are we at the beach?” he asks.

“Yup, that’s the Pacific Ocean little man,” you tell him.

“Whooaa,” he says in awe. “Is this my Birthday Trip Surprise?”

“It is. Did we pick a good place?”

“Heck yes,” he says and you laugh and kiss his cheek.

“You should go thank Karkat, he’s the one who suggested the beach,” you say and he slides from your arms and runs over and launches himself into Karkat’s.

You walk over to help finish unloading and once everything is out Ms. J closes the trunk and locks up the car. After you get Dirk bundled up in his new jacket, you and Karkat pick up everything from the ground, both refusing to let Ms. J or Dirk carry anything. You all start towards the beach, Bec leading the way followed by Ms. J and Dirk who are holding hands and you and Karkat bring up the rear. Dirks talking a mile a minute and pointing out everything to Ms. J who responds to everything with as much enthusiasm as ever.

When you find a good spot everyone helps set up. Dirk and Ms. J spread out the blankets and put up the umbrella and you and Karkat place the cooler and miscellaneous bags around the edges so it doesn’t blow away. Karkat says that it’s low tide and suggests taking Dirk to explor and look for shells right now and then to eat lunch afterwards. Everyone agrees and your group starts walking toward the water line.

Dirk’s super into it and he runs ahead of everybody, with Bec at his side. Ms. J had brought along some new buckets and shovels for him to play with and he has one of the bigger buckets almost filled up in no time. You, Karkat and Ms. J are a little more selective on the shells you pick up and you have to admit it is pretty fun to hunt for them. After almost an hour has passed, Karkat comes over to you and holds out his hand.

“Here asshole, I thought you might want these for your creepy ass collection,” he says. You take what he’s holding in his hand and see that he found a dried-up seahorse and starfish.

“Sweet dude, thank you. These are cool as shit,” you say. You try to ignore how special it makes you feel that he was thinking about you.

Dirk comes running over, his bucket now filled to the top. Since the tide is starting to come in anyway you all agree to head back and eat lunch. You’ve walked a pretty good distance so you hunch down and let Dirk crawl onto your back for the walk back. Ms. J offers to carry his bucket of shells. When you’re almost back to the blanket you see that a group of seagulls has assembled nearby, apparently anticipating the possibility of handouts. Dirk lets out an excited squeal when he sees them and you get an idea.

You look over at Karkat and you hold out your hand to him. He looks down at it and then back up at you with a questioning glare, still not taking your hand. “Come on” you tell him and make a motion with your hand, encouraging him to take it. He hesitantly grabs it and you take off at a full speed run, pulling him along behind you. He sees where your headed and catches on and begins running full speed as well. Dirk’s laughing so loud, still clutched to your back and you and Karkat join in with your own laughter. When you’re about 10 feet from the flock the seagulls take off in a big group, squawking angrily at your trio.

You let Dirk hop off your back so that he can chase after the last few stragglers that didn’t fly off. You and Karkat run after him, still holding hands. When the last seagull has taken flight, Dirk turns back and grabs both your’s and Karkat’s hands, effectively making a circle. He starts pulling and you and Karkat follow his lead and start spinning in a circle as you run. You keep going until you’re all so dizzy that you have to break the circle and fall down onto the sand, all laughing so hard you can barely breathe. Bec’s joined your group by this point and bounces around trying to give you all doggy kisses

You’re the first to catch your breath so you stand up and help Dirk and Karkat up as well. Still smiling, you all head back over to the blanket where Ms. J has already started setting out lunch. She just laughs and shakes her head as all three of you plop down onto the blanket. She packed all of Dirk’s favorite foods for lunch and even surprises him with a small birthday cake after everyone is finished eating. Ms. J and Karkat both brought their presents with so that Dirk could open them on the beach and he’s just as shocked and thankful at receiving presents as he was this morning.

After the mess from lunch and opening gifts has been cleaned up, you and Karkat take Dirk back out onto the beach to fly the new kite Ms. J got him. Karkat is so at ease and still smiling and laughing and you can’t stop thinking about how hard he had laughed when you had chased the seagulls. It’s bothered you for a while about how little he laughs and smiles and how much you wanted to change that fact. Now you think you have a plan on how you can accomplish it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always , thanks for reading and all the comments and kudos and support!! I realllly appreciate it
> 
>  
> 
> Find me on Tumblr [ @ nuwanda717 ](//www.tumblr.com/blog/nuwanda717)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Barely got this out in time for 11/11 =P 
> 
> TW for abortion mentions in this chapter

With finals fast approaching, the week right after Dirk’s birthday is stressful as shit to say the least. All the professors have started really emphasizing the need for everyone to get their asses in gear and start studying. Karkat, ever the high-strung asshole, is way more stressed and grouchy than normal and has already begun studying like a maniac. However, this gives you the perfect excuse to enact your plan of getting him to smile more.

Your first attempt comes that Tuesday. As usual, you’ve invaded Karkat’s room and the two have you been studying since you’ve got home. Karkat’s been grumbling to himself for a solid 30 minutes, aside from the moments he takes to testily respond to things you say to him. His anger finally reaches it’s peak and he pushes away from his desk and stands up, toppling his chair in the process. He slams his textbook closed and presses the palms of his hands against both eyes as he stomps around the room.

“Fuck this class! Fuck it up its stupid piece of shit ass! I’m going to fucking fail it. I know I am! I don’t even fucking care anymore! I’m not even going to take that bullshit fucking final for it…Ugh! FUCK!” he yells. After you snap out of the brief moment of fascination you experience at watching him have his tantrum, you jump up and go to stand in front of him, blocking his way. You grab both of his forearms, not forcefully, just enough to keep him steady since he still has his eyes covered.

“Dude, hey. Look at me,” you say and Karkat slightly lowers his hands and directs his fury at you with one of his angriest/funniest glares. “It’s okay –“

“It’s not fucking okay Dave!” he snaps, interrupting you. “I’m going to fucking fail that shit class and lose my scholarship and get kicked out of school. I might as well just go get a cardboard box and pick out my alley right now.”

You can’t stop yourself from grinning because his overly dramatic pessimism never ceases to be entertaining. Unfortunately Karkat notices and attempts to push you away but since you’re still holding onto his arms, you just slightly tighten your grip so that he isn’t able to do so.

“Fuck you Dave!!! FUCK YOU!! It’s not fucking funny!! Do you realize how fucking hard I had to work to get accepted into this school?!! And now I’m going to fuck it all up because I’m a complete fucking idiot who can’t even pass a simple fucking Chemistry cla-ss..” His voice breaks on the last word and oh fuck, please don’t let him cry.

“Karkat. Hey, shhhh. I’m sorry. I promise I don’t think it’s funny,” you explain, running your thumbs up and down where you’re still holding his arms, trying to calm him down. “No homo or anything but it’s just cute as fuck when you get so worked up.” He glares at you again full force but at least he doesn’t look like he’s about to burst into tears anymore. You slide your hands up his arms and rest them on his shoulders and continue talking. “Listen, you’re not an idiot Karkat. You’re like one of the smartest people I know and that list includes me so that’s pretty impressive.”

“That really doesn’t make me feel better Strider,” he retorts and his voice is at least steady now and he has yet to move away from you.

“It should. Who do know that’s smarter than me?” you ask and he opens his mouth to reply. “Don’t answer that, it was rhetorical dude. But hey, you’ve been staring at that same shitty textbook since we’ve been home, how about we take a break and take Dirk to the park or something?” you suggest.

“Are you fucking kidding me?! I can’t take a break, we only have like a week left til finals start and I don’t fucking know shit..”

“Dude, chill. I know all that but the only thing you’re accomplishing right now is making yourself freak out over nothing. It would probably be better to give your brain a break and then you’ll be recharged to study when we get back. Or at least just bring your textbook with us and you can study at the park, change of scenery and all that shit.”

“Ffffffffffffffffyeah. OK, yeah. You’re right Dave. The park actually sounds good,” he says, some of his anger deflating.

“Sweet dude,” you say and smile at him as you drop your hands from his shoulders. “I’ll go get Dirk ready then. Be ready in like 5?”

Karkat nods and you leave and go downstairs to get your little brother. He’s in the kitchen with Ms. J who is teaching him how to can vegetables. Ms. J has Dirk wearing an apron just like hers and they look like a couple of adorable ass country bumpkins. You pull out your phone and snap a pic before interrupting them. They notice you when the flash goes off.

“Dave! Look! We’re canning carrots!” Dirk exclaims, proudly holding up a jar of said carrots.

“That’s awesome little dude, they look really good,” you say and Dirk beams at your approval. “Hey, me and Karkat need a break from studying and wanted to see if you wanted to go to the park with us?” you ask him.

“Yea!” he yells but then hesitates and looks up at Ms. J. “Do you need more help though Ms. J?”

“Oh sweetie, I’ll be fine. I’ll just clean up and wait to do the rest with you tomorrow ok,” she says, and helps Dirk gets his apron off. “Thanks for helping me though Dirky. You’re definitely the best little helper I’ve ever had. Just don’t tell Karkat that, okay,” she whispers to him and they share a smile as Dirk nods in response. He jumps down from the chair and runs over to you.

“Hey Dave,” Ms. J says, “There’s extra scarves and hats in the closet if you need them and why don’t you take the car since it’s cold and getting kind of late?”

“You sure Ms. J? It’s not a far walk.”

“I’m sure. I won’t worry as much if you do,” she explains and ok, the thought of someone worrying about you is really fucking nice.

Karkat comes into the kitchen and Dirk runs over to him, wanting to be picked up. You’d never thought you’d get a break from having to lug Dirk around all the time, so the fact that he’s just as happy being carried by Karkat makes you simultaneously thankful for the break and a little sad that he’s not as clingy with you anymore. You know that it’s a good thing though, so that’s only something that you’d admit to yourself.

“Are we ready to go?” Karkat asks.

“Yeah man, just gotta get jackets and shit. Ms. J said we could take the car.”

“Cool. Hey Dirk, why don’t you go grab some of the new toys Ms. H got you for your birthday,” he says and sets Dirk back down. Dirk nods and runs off towards the living room to do as Karkat suggested.

“ ‘MS. H’ huh? I think you’ve been hanging around Dave too much Karkat,” Ms. J says, not even attempting to hide her amusement. Karkat’s face flushes and he looks embarrassed.

“I’m not evening going to honor that with a response!” he says and he must be embarrassed if *he* can’t think of a retort.

“Aw dude, are you finally accepting that you want to be as cool as me?” you joke and he flips you off and turns and follows Dirk into the livingroom. You and Ms. J make eye contact and both burst out laughing before you turn and follow Karkat out as well, giving her a wave as you go.

You pack into the car and make the short drive to the park together. Once there, you get Dirk and Bec out and grab his bag of new toys and head over to one of the benches. As usual there’s no other kids here, too late and too cold for the normal population apparently. Dirk looks through his bag of toys and you notice that he has a box of sidewalk chalk and you reach over and pull it out.

“Hey, you guys wanna play hopscotch?” you ask Dirk and Karkat.

“Seriously? Do you even know how to play?” Karkat skeptically asks and Dirk looks like he doesn’t know what hopscotch even is.

“Kinda. I’ve never played or anything but I used to watch the neighborhood kids play from my window sometimes, so I think I could figure it out,” you respond with a shrug. “Have you ever played?”

“No, I never really had a chance too I guess.”

“See dude, we have to play now. Gotta make up for our shitty childhoods somehow.”

“Hhmm, fine but you’re going first.” He says but he still looks skeptical as shit.

“Anything for you babe,” you tell him, inciting a glare from him in response. You take out some chalk and get to work on drawing and send Dirk to find a rock to toss on to it. Once you’re finished you stand up and Dirk hands you the rock he chose.

“Alright my dudes, so I think we’re supposed to toss this stone and you can’t hop on whatever square it lands on and you also gotta pick it up along the way or something. Oh, and you can only hop on one foot through the one square spots but you can use both feet on the double squares- fuck this sounds kinda of boring actually, maybe we should-“

“Dave just fucking do it and we can make up better rules if we need to,” Karkat prods and Dirk nods his head in agreement.

“Ok, ok. No need to team up against me, that shit’s hella uncool,” you reply but go the front of the hopscotch thingy and toss your rock. It lands on the number 6 and you easily jump across the other squares and retrieve your rock along the way.

“Okay, that really was boring. Why do people play this shit game anyway?” Karkat says as soon as you’re done.

“Dude, I tried telling you but you insisted we fucking try it.”

“Fuck off Strider. You’re the one who suggested it the first place.”

“What if we try it where each person still throws a rock every time but instead of picking them up we leave them so that it gets harder and harder each time?” Dirk suggests and hhmm that might actually make it more interesting. You look at Karkat and he shrugs, apparently willing to give it a try as well.

“Yeah, let’s try it little dude. You wanna go first?” you say and Dirk nods and jumps up. He runs off and comes back a moment later with a handful of rocks. He takes his place at the front of the hopscotch thing, throws his rock and even being just 5 years old, still hops easily through it. But hey, he is a Strider and your brother so he’s just naturally awesome at most everything.

Karkat goes next and gets through with ease as well and then joins Dirk back on the sidelines. You take your turn and it’s a little harder but you still get through it no problem, obviously. Karkat has actually started enjoying himself though and is smiling and clapping along to your jumps. You wonder if he even knows what an adorable fucking nerd he is and you can’t help but feel proud that your plan to get him smiling is working.

Dirk takes his turn and you and Karkat each hold one of his hands and help him jump through some of the harder parts. Karkat goes again and almost reaches the end but doesn’t make it far enough on his last jump. You line up again and your rock lands on a space that makes it pretty much impossible for you to make it to the end but you still give it your best shot. You of course don’t make it and stumble off and crash right into Karkat and Dirk. By now all three of you are laughing and Dirk is super pumped that he won the first round (even if he did have a little help).

You end playing at least 10 more rounds, with you winning 3 times, Dirk winning 6 and Karkat winning a measly one time. He’s super salty about it so of course you’re not going to let him live it down. Since it’s getting late and almost time to go, you tell Dirk to take Bec and go play on the playground some. As he runs off you grab another piece of chalk and start drawing again. Karkat’s still sitting on his knees and cocks his head to the side and watches what you’re doing. When you finish your masterpiece, you stand up and hold out your hands, presenting it to Karkat.

“Here dude, it’s a ‘hops cock’ or maybe a ‘hops crotch’. I don’t even know but I thought you might actually be able to win on this one,” you tell him, completely dead pan. Karkat looks appalled and then angry. He holds up one of his hands and starts what your assuming is going to be a hilarious rant.

“Strider, what the fuck?! You’re always looking for any opportunity to have me jump on your dick, huh?” he asks, mocking your voice since you’re usually the one saying shit like that to him. You have to hand it to him, that was a pretty good one but you feel your face heat up and you can’t even come up with anything to say because once again he’s filled your head with things you shouldn’t be thinking of. “Now help me clean this off before Dirk sees it, you shit flinging asshole.”

He crawls over to your ‘masterpiece’ and starts wiping away at the chalk with his hands. God dammit, he made the association of the chalk dick being your dick and now his hands are all over it. Shit, you are not having these thoughts. And it’s absolutely not making you feel things in… places. Fuck.

“Dave! Fucking help me!,” he demands since you have yet to move.

“Oh sorry dude, I was just admiring how much you seem to be enjoying rubbing your hands all over that giant cock,” you say, trying to play it off. That’s all it was anyway, just a joke you thought of, not something you’d ever want to actually happen. He whips his hands off it and stands up, glaring at you.

“That’s it, you can fucking clean it up yourself. Your favorite pastime is fondling your own dick anyway so you should have it taken care of no time,” he snaps and stomps off to play with Dirk and Bec.

You smile after him but get to work on cleaning it off because you really don’t want Dirk or any kids to see it. It doesn’t come off very well though, so you decide to just draw over it instead. When you’re finished you call Dirk and Karkat over and you all load up and drive home. Once there, you get Dirk ready for bed and put him to sleep. It makes you beyond happy that he still asks you to make up bedtime raps for him. When he finally drifts off you stand up and head back to hang out in Karkat’s room some more. He’s back studying at his desk but he doesn’t seem anywhere near as tense as he did earlier. He looks up when you come in.

“Hey. Thanks for earlier. For calming me down and getting me to take a break. That actually really helped,” he says and smiles up at you.

“No problem dude. That’s what bros are for. We should make it a point to do it a couple times a week or like whenever we get stressed. Wait, I mean ‘do it’ as in take a break and do something fun, not ‘do it’ as in fuc----"

“Yeah I got it Dave! But uh yeah.. that would be cool,” he says and gives you another smile, which you return.

You take up your usual spot on his floor and get back to studying as well. You don’t focus as much as you should, instead thinking about how your plan was a success and planning out more things you can do with Karkat and Dirk the next time you take a break. It’s cute and dorky af how into playing kid games Karkat gets but it’s not like you ever got to play any of these games when you were little either so you might enjoy playing them too, just a little bit. It doesn’t really fit into your cool kid persona but if it means getting Karkat to smile than you don’t really mind not looking cool for a while.

\---

The rest of the week you and Karkat make it a point to take a break to play with Dirk every night. You spent a night drawing and playing with legos but then on Thursday there was a heavy snow and the three of you have since dedicated your time to building a whole snow city in the back yard. Dirk dubbed it ‘Snow Town’. You’re pretty into constructing it, someone has to make sure Karkat doesn’t make it completely boring by only building schools and libraries and a fucking DMV. You make sure to add nightclubs and music stores and parks but by far your favorite thing to build is secret snow dicks for Karkat whenever Dirk isn’t paying attention. He gets so mad and stomps them down as soon as you show him and then verbally assaults you as well. Shits fucking funny as shit dude.

On Saturday you spend some time working on Snow Town before you have to go to work. Dirk had become bored after a while and ran off throw a ball sound for Bec. You and Karkat keep working anyways, bullshitting away as usual.

“Hey,” you start, wanting to ask him about something that’ been bothering you for a while. “Why do you have a 69 tattooed on your wrist?”

“It’s not a 69 asshole, it’s my astrological sign. I’m a cancer. Me, Terezi and Sollux all went together and got our signs done when we turned 18,” he explains.

“That’s actually kind of adorable bro,” you say and he shrugs.

“What’s your sign,” he asks you.

“Oh, I’m a Sagittarius.”

“A Sagittarius? When the fuck is your birthday?”

“It was December 1st.”

“And you didn’t fucking tell me Dave?!” he asks and dammit, he looks so hurt.

“Dude, it wasn’t anything personal, I’ve just never celebrated my birthday. It’s not a big deal,” you explain, hoping he’ll let it go. He stares at you a moment, his expression turning more sad than hurt, but then he nods and goes back to working on the retirement community he’s building. Feeling relieved, you turn your attention back to the mall you’re working on. You continue working in silence until it’s time for you to get ready for work.

That night you end up having to work over and get home much later than your normal time. You head upstairs and check in on Dirk as you always do and he and Bec are sound asleep like normal. After you change and shower, you head over to Karkat’s room and your slightly surprised when see Sollux sleeping on his bed, having forgot that Karkat had told you he was coming over to study. What surprises you more though is that Karkat’s asleep on his bed too. They don’t think it’s gay for two dudes to sleep on the same bed? You know they’d slept in the same bed before but Terezi had been there so that kinda neutralized any gayness right? Hhmm, you’ll have to ask Karkat about this tomorrow. You quietly close the door and head back to your own room to try to get some sleep yourself since you have to work again tomorrow.

\---

You don’t see Karkat much the next morning, him and Sollux are still holed up studying in his room. You’re okay with this though because you get to spend some alone time hanging with Dirk before you have to go to work. That night you don’t get home as late but Dirk and Ms. J are still both asleep by the time you do. After showering and changing you head to Karkat’s room, hoping that this time he’s still awake. You’re pleased when you open his door to find two, big brown eyes staring up at you. He stands up from his desk chair and stretches.

“Hey fuck face, you’re finally home,” he greets you and comes over and grabs your hand. “Come on, the pizza’s getting cold,” he says, dragging you farther into his room.

“Pizza?” you ask, confused.

“Yes pizza, you know the magical, circular piece of baked dough with sauce, cheese and pepperoni on top?” he snarks at you.

“Aw, you got me pepperoni?” you ask, ignoring his sarcasm.

“Yes, you uncultured piece of filth. It’s your birthday pizza, so you better fucking enjoy it.”

“Huh?” you ask, stopping short.

He turns to look at you. “Yes, I know it’s technically past your birthday but you’re not fucking getting away without letting me do something for it, okay?” he challenges you.

“Ok,” you acquiescence, already feeling your chest tighten.

Karkat pulls you over to the couch and pushes you down. Sure enough there’s a pizza box on the table as well as a jug of AJ, bags of every flavor of Doritos and a pile of what looks to be your favorite movies. You have to swallow down the lump in your throat.

“Sooo I got crappy pizza and snacks obviously and I thought maybe we could watch some of your favorite movies. I mean I know it’s not a lot or anything, but I wanted to do something nice,” he explains and then reaches down and picks up a small box from the floor. It’s wrapped in birthday paper. Fuck. “And um… I had originally got this as a Christmas present for you but no matter what you think, birthday’s are important Dave. And um… I want you to know that I think yours is important.”

You have yet to say anything and Karkat shoves the box into your hands. You sit there with it, not moving until Karkat impatiently motions for you to open it. You swallow down another lump and start tearing off the paper. You stare down at it once the paper is all off.

“It’s a camera. Not a fancy one or anything but I read a shit ton of reviews and this one seemed to be the best. It comes with a cool editing program and I know you said you liked developing film but since you don’t really have access to a dark room I thought this would be the next best thing…. Maybe. We can go and exchange it if you don’t like it….”

You launch yourself at him and wrap your arms around him in a hug. He stiffens but then returns your embrace. The two of you sit there clutching each other way longer than what is probably acceptable for bros but right now you don’t give a flying fuck.

“Thank you,” you finally choke out and you feel Karkat nod his head. “I fucking love it dude,” you continue and you feel Karkat grip you even tighter.

When you finally pull away ,you wipe at your cheeks. Not that you were crying or anything… you just… had something in your eye. Karkat pretends not to notice and tells you to pick out a movie while he makes you both a plate of pizza. You decide to start with a comedy to lighten the mood some and you and Karkat settle down and start eating. You make it through two and a half movies and most of the food before you both finally fall asleep together on the couch…again. It’s hands down been your best birthday ever.

\---

Karkat had no idea the monster he was going to unleash when he innocently bought you a camera. You’ve snapped at least 100 pictures of him in the day and a half you’ve had the camera. His photo count only coming in second to Dirk’s. He gets so angry and worked up about it though that you can’t help yourself. He doesn’t realize that his blowups just encourage you to take more pictures of him.

You’re currently hanging out with him in his room again while he studies. You should be studying too but you’d rather dick around with your camera. Karkat has a super intense look on his face and you lift up your camera and snap another photo him and he slams his fist on his desk when you do.

“Strider! I swear on all that is holy that if you take another fucking picture of me I will throw your ass out of here and lock the fucking door faster than you can say ‘My names Dave Strider and I’m an abhorrent pile of dick juggling scum’,” he yells at you.

“Ok, but that might actually take a while to say dude,” you retort back and Karkat slams down his fist again. “Okay, okay. I’ll put it away. Chill.”

You actually do as promised and go and put your camera back in the case. You’re still not ready to settle down and actually study yet though, so you walk around his room and study what he has hanging on his walls instead. You get to a collage of pictures he has and you start examining each picture. You’ve looked at it before but never really in any detail. There’s a bunch of pictures of a younger Karkat with Terezi and Sollux and one Ms. J holding a little Bec when he was a puppy. One of your favorites is a pic of an awkward Karkat and Terezi together at what you’re assuming is Prom. You notice one in the upper right-hand corner of the collage that’s laminated. It’s a little crinkly but it’s of a little girl who looks like Karkat with long, dark hair.

“Hey, is this your sister?” you ask and Karkat turns around in his chair to look.

“Yeah it is,” he says with a sad note in his voice. “And don’t fucking touch it, that’s the only picture I have of her,” he screeches when you had started to raise a hand up towards the collage.

You drop your hand down and seemingly satisfied, Karkat turns his attention back to his computer. Without him noticing you pull out your phone and snap a picture of the photo of his sister. You slip your phone back in your pocket and go and lean against his desk and look down at him.

“She was beautiful,” you say and Karkat nods, still staring at the screen. “How come you only have one picture of her?”

He sighs and for a minute you don’t think he’s going to answer but then he looks up at you and replies.

“Because my piece of shit mother decided when Karmen died that she wanted to erase any memory of her and burned all of her stuff and pictures in the backyard. That’s the only photo I was able to save.”

“Oh… Fuck. That’s really fucked up dude,” you oh so eloquently respond.

“Yup,” he says and goes back to his studying.

You feel like a complete asshole for bringing it up and not knowing what else to do you go back and sit down to try to study for real now. You can’t really concentrate though and you have to keep unclenching your fists because you keep balling them up in your nervousness at the continued silence. Eventually, Karkat gets up and tells you he’s going to go take a shower and get ready for bed. You nod but since you’re not sure if that was your cue to leave or not you stay sitting on the floor like the awkward idiot that you are.

When Karkat comes back in he still looks sad as fuck. A look of confusion also crosses his face when he sees you still sitting in the middle of his floor.

“Hey. You okay?” he asks you, concern laced clearly in his voice.

“You don’t think it’s gay for you and Sollux to sleep in the same bed?” you blurt out without even thinking. Seriously brain, where the fuck did that even come from.?

“What the fuck Dave?” he asks, concern turning into irritation. “I’ve been best fucking friends with Sollux since I was 4 years old so no, I don’t think it’s fucking ‘gay’.” He snaps at you.

“Ok, cool. Can I sleep with you tonight then? In your bed I mean. Like not with you with you, just next to you… on your bed,” you ramble and seriously, what the fuck brain?!

“Uh,” he says, clearly caught off guard. “Yeah. I mean if you want to. I’m not going to think your gay if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Ok. Rad.” Now you feel like a complete dumbass but you can’t back out now.

You’re already in your pajamas and you crawl into his bed first and press your back against the wall, stiff as a virgin bride on her wedding night. No wait, don’t even fucking go there brain. It’s already betrayed you enough tonight. Karkat turns out the light and crawls in after you, laying down on his side so that he’s facing you. The street light outside illuminates the room enough that you can still see him pretty clearly.

“You sure you’re ok Dave?”

“Yea….. Sorry.….I just felt like I fucked up when I asked about your sister,” you explain and he frowns at you. “You were just really quiet and I don’t know. Quiet was like a really bad sign in my house growing up. Sorry.”

“Hey, you don’t have to be sorry Dave. I was sad but I promise I wasn’t mad at you. I swear I will always let you know if you’ve pissed me off, that way you never have to guess ok?”

You nod and say a quiet ‘ok’ because it does sound like a good plan. You lay there staring at each other in silence for several long minutes. Your hands are aching from clenching them earlier and you keep slowly opening and closing them to try to stretch out the ache.

“Are your hands okay?” Karkat asks after a few minutes.

“Oh yea, they’ll be fine. They get stiff sometimes, I guess it’s a side effect from all the sword training Bro used to make me do but uh, when I get nervous, I clench my fists and it makes it worse. I just have to work the stiffness out.”

“Do you want me to rub them for you?”

“Uh,” you don’t answer right away because that seems kind of intimate. But girls do this type of shit all the time right? And Karkat and Sollux don’t seem to think shit like this is weird or gay. So it should be ok right? Still within the confines of acceptable broship. “Yeah, if you wanna,” you finally say and move one of your hands within his reach. He gets to work on it immediately and really it’s not as gay as you thought it was going to be.

He has a firm grip and focuses on gliding his thumbs over the muscles of your hand. You watch him in fascination as he stretches out each finger and then moves on to your palm and eventually your wrist. He spends a good 15 minutes on just the one hand and when he’s done he motions for your other one. You slide it over to him and he goes back to work. He does the same process but this time as the 15 minutes is drawing to a close so are Karkat’s eyes. You’re still quietly watching him as he falls asleep, your hand still gripped in his. You don’t pull your hand away once he’s asleep, enjoying the feel of the contact. It’s not long before you yourself drift off to sleep as well, your earlier nervousness completely forgotten.

\---

You’re not going to lie, waking up next to Karkat was really fucking nice. You had thought it would be awkward but like most things with Karkat, it wasn’t. He’d just smiled at you when he noticed you we’re awake and despite your protests had pulled you from bed, insisting it was time to get ready for school.

You hadn’t slept in his bed again, not wanting to come across as a completely clingy asshole. Thursday night, the last night before your last day of finals and when you’d finally be on winter break, Karkat had apparently reached his stressed out peak. He was more high-strung and grouchy than you’d seen him yet and when he seemed like he was about to blow you had suggested a game of cards since Dirk was already asleep and Karkat had reluctantly agreed.

You had decided to play in the living room so you could have a change of scenery as well and the two of you were currently in the middle of a game. It didn’t seem to be helping Karkat’s stress level as he hadn’t stopped bitching at you since the game had started. His main area of contention was the fact that you had your feet propped up and resting on the table. Being the antagonistic dick that you are though you had refused to move them, plus it would probably help Karkat to take some of his rage out on you anyway. Hehe, look at you, always thinking of others.

“Strider, just take your fucking disgusting feet off the table. We eat in here sometimes you nasty fucking ball licker.”

“Dude, relax. I’ll wipe the table down when we’re done.”

“That still doesn’t solve the fact that I don’t want to stare at your disease ridden, filth covered feet, asshole!!” he yells, crumbling up his cards in the process.

“Then look somewhere else dude. Like maybe at your cards. You’re probably losing so bad because you’re so worried about my super clean, beautiful feet.”

“UUgghgh. I don’t even know how you get out of bed in the morning knowing you’re the worst thing the universe was ever responsible for creating?!”

“Oh, like you’re so great bro? I bet your mom spent every day wishing she had swallowed,” you throw back at him without thinking.

Karkat recoils as if you had physically slapped him and stands up from his seat. The crumbled cards fall from his hands and he stares at you in shock. You can’t read the expression on his face but you’re expecting him to hit you or yell or something but instead he turns and runs up the stairs. Ok, this time you definitely fucked up.

You get up and follow after him. His bedroom door is open and you go in but he’s not in plain sight. You walk over and open the closet door and sure enough you hear him sniffling in there. Great, you made him cry. Not wanting to waste any time in making this better, you crawl in and go and sit next to him. He tries and fails to cover up the fact that he’s crying.

“I’m sorry Karkat. I don’t know what I did but I’m so fucking sorry dude,” you say and place a hand on his shoulder.

“You didn’t do anything Dave. It’s stupid. Don’t even worry about it, okay?” he says between sniffs.

“Hey, if it made you this upset, then it’s not nothing and it’s not stupid, Karkat,” you tell him gently. “And I really want to make sure I never do whatever I did to upset you ever again, so it would be really cool if you told me. I mean you don’t have to but I would like if you did.”

He’s quiet and seems to think it over for a few minutes. You rub his back while he thinks and his crying seems to calm down some.

“My mom,” he begins. “Um, she would always tell me and Karmen that she wished she would have had abortions with us. And that we we’re mistakes and should have never been born, that type of bullshit. And then when Karmen died, she told me that that was God fixing her mistake and that it was only a matter of time before he fixed her other mistake for her too. Like I literally spent a good portion of my childhood being terrified that death was coming for me because my mom was supposed to have an abortion,” he lets out a bitter, humorless laugh at this. “It’s so stupid. I’m sorry I freaked out like that. It’s not your fault. It’s just when you said the swallowed thing, it brought back some shitty memories.”

He hugs his knees and buries his face in them, his crying starting up again. He tried reassuring you that this wasn’t your fault but honestly you feel even worse now. He’d mentioned before about not knowing he could hate someone he had never met until you had told him about Bro and now you know exactly what he means. You scoot closer to him and wrap your arm around his shoulders, now rubbing his upper arm instead.

“Dude, fuck your mom. I know what you mean now about hating someone you’ve never met. Seriously though, I am so sorry Karkat. I know you said it’s not my fault but I shouldn’t have fucking said that. You have my permission to punch me in the face anytime I say anything assholey that bothers you like this ever again, ok?”

“Dave, I would literally have to spend every second of the rest of my life punching you in the face if I did it every time you say something assholey,” he says and even lets out a small laugh.

“You know what I mean dude,” you say and return his laugh.

The two of you sit in closet for a little bit until Karkat’s crying calms back down. You keep your arm around him and he lifts his head up and rests it on your shoulder and you in turn rest your head against the top of his.

“How’d you find me so fast?” he asks, finally breaking the silence.

“Dude, the closet is like abused kids anonymous headquarters.”

“Hhhmmm,’ he replies and lets out a yawn.

“We should probably go to bed,” you tell him.

“Yeah, especially with our last finals tomorrow,” he agrees.

You stand up and help pull him up as well. Once you come out of the closet together, (the actual closet, no metaphors here. Nope. None.) Karkat goes over and grabs some pajamas from his dresser and heads towards the bathroom. Before he makes it out of his room you stop him.

“Hey. Do you want me to sleep in here tonight?” you ask him.

“Yes,” he quickly responds. “I mean if you want to.”

“Yeah that’s cool. I’ll meet you back here in 5,” you say and follow him out of the room to go get your own pajamas.

By the time you’re dressed, Karkat’s out of the bathroom so you go and brush your teeth and then check in on Dirk one last time before heading back to Karkat’s room. He’s already laying down so you take a running leap and dive over him and onto your side of the bed. It makes him bounce and you’re pleased, when as intended, it makes him laugh instead of pissing him off. He sits up and turns off the light and turns to face you as he lays back down. Neither of you talk but you grab one of his hands and begin to rub it like he did for you the other night. You’re not sure if his hands even hurt but it felt really fucking nice when he did it and you want to return the favor. He smiles when he realizes what you’re doing and he’s asleep before you even get to his other hand. Again you don’t let go of his hand once he’s asleep, not wanting to give up the contact. You drift to sleep as you think about how small and sad Karkat had looked in the closet and how you never want him to look that way ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My goal was to somehow include all the davekat moments from Vriskagram in this (with Dirk taking the mayor's place) and I think I accomplished that with this chapter lol (sans the turntable part because Dave doesn't have his anymore in this story)
> 
> I'm really excited to write the next chapter ( in my head its one chapter but I'm sure it's going to end up turning into like 3 or 4 chapters!) 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and thank you sooo much for the kudos, comments and support! You guys really keep me motivated! 
> 
> Find me on Tumblr [ @ nuwanda717 ](//www.tumblr.com/blog/nuwanda717)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to Karkat's POV

You wake up the next morning and find that your hand is still cradled in Dave’s. He’s still sleeping and you allow yourself a moment to enjoy the warm, comforting feeling that envelopes you. It’s doesn’t take long for your brain to invade your thoughts with embarrassing memories of last night. Oh god, what a pathetic asshole you are. Why did you freak out like that in front of Dave? Not to mention he found you in your closet bawling like a baby. Ugh. Seriously why does he even put up with your bullshit?

Although honestly your bullshit doesn’t seem to bother him. In fact, for some unknown reason he seems to enjoy being around you just as much as you do him. Some people might find Dave clingy and needy but you just find him endearing and kind of sweet actually. Which absolutely are *not* sentiments you ever thought you would be attributing to Dave Fucking Strider. Not that you’d ever admit any of this to that overly smug asshole. It’s been nice though, becoming best friends with Dave, or whatever the fuck you two are.

You try not to overly obsess on figuring that one out. Dave has made it abundantly clear that he’s ‘not gay’. Hell, every other sentence out of that douche mongrel’s mouth reminds you of it. But fuck does he still give off confusing as shit signals. Although, it’s not even like you *like* him back or anything though and even if Dave was into guys he would never fall for someone like you, so why the fuck are you even worrying over this? You should be focusing on your finals anyway.

Finals. Fuck. FUCK! Your last fucking finals of the semester are today and here you are still lounging in bed like a self-indulgent asshole because you may or may not enjoy lying in bed and holding your best friend’s hand way more than you should. Somewhat (very) reluctantly you untangle your hand from Dave’s and sit up in bed. You reach over and nudge his shoulder, to which he groans and moves his pillow over his head.

“Strider, I don’t have time to play your baby games today. Get your fucking ass up right the fuck now and get ready.”

“Mmmmgghhmm,” come his unintelligible, but you’re sure, smart ass reply. You weren’t joking when you said you had no time for his bullshit, so instead of replying you stand up and rip the covers off him and drag them with you into the hallway. A very eloquent “Suck my dick, Karkat” follows you and you smile triumphantly because that means the pillow is off his head now at least. You lean back just enough to see into your room and are met by a glaring Strider sitting up in bed.

“I know you’d only last like .6 seconds Strider but I already said I don’t have time for any bullshit and that includes sucking your microscopic dick. Now get up and start getting your lazy ass ready.”

You feel another moment of triumph when you see Dave turn beet red and start to sputter, unable to form an actual come back. He can talk so much shit and turn basically anything sexual but the moment you throw it back at him he acts like a blushing virgin. You shake your head and continue on your way, stopping in Dirk’s room to dump the blankets and wake him up. He’s even grouchier than Dave in the mornings but you can usually get him up without a fight by letting him take Bec downstairs to be put out in the backyard and then eat breakfast with Ms. Harley. With that accomplished you head back into the hallway, intending to take a shower, but fucking Dave runs past you and gets to the bathroom first, slamming the door shut after giving you the middle finger. That fucker.

Oh well, at least you can get in a little more study time before you have to leave now. You know, since you wasted last night being a blubbering mess. You head back into your room and take out your notes, doing a quick run through of what you hope are the most important parts. About a half an hour later you hear Dave exit the bathroom and you make your way there to begin your shower. After you’ve finished and dressed you grab your backpack and head downstairs where Dave and Dirk are waiting for you in the living room.

“Come on Karkat, we don’t have time for your bullshit today,” Dave throws back at you and you’re about to open your mouth to retort when he tosses a brown paper bag at you. You barely manage to catch it and once you stop fumbling around, you open it to find a breakfast bar, a banana and a smoothie drink.

“I know you’re in a hurry to leave but you should still eat breakfast,” he explains and your smart ass reply turns into a surprised ‘Thank you’ instead. He gives you one of his endearing fucking grins and opens the front door for you and Dirk. You yell out a good bye to Ms. Harley and then follow Dirk outside. After Dave has closed and locked the door, he comes and throws an arm around your shoulders as per usual and whispers in your ear.

“Just try not to think about me when you eat that banana dude.”

This time it’s your face that turns red and you push him away from you. You rip open the bag and pull the banana out and shove it into Dave’s hands.

“I wouldn’t eat this for a million fucking dollars now, you disgusting bulge licker. Just like every other variation of your dick, you’re going to have to take care of it yourself,” you tell him, hoping your disgust is adequately conveyed through the glare that you give him. He just giggles in a way that you don’t allow yourself to think is cute and opens the banana and takes a huge bite out of it. You definitely don’t let your thoughts trail anywhere x-rated at that either because you *do not* have a crush on your heterosexual best friend. You’ve been down that road before and like fuck will you let yourself go down it again.

Instead you take out the smoothie and knowing that those are Dirk’s favorites, you offer it to him. He happily accepts and as he starts drinking it, you pull out the breakfast bar and start eating it yourself. You’ve all finished eating by the time you get to Dirk’s preschool and you’ve made it a habit to go in with them now to drop Dirk off. Dirk’s been doing better since Dave talked to the teacher but you still like to give the kids at his table a daily glare as a reminder.

After dropping Dirk off, you and Dave continue to campus. Dave only has one final left to take but your over achieving, over scheduled ass has fucking three left to complete today. Before the two of you part ways Dave holds out his hand for a fist bump.

“Hey, you’re going to kick those finals asses today dude, try not to stress too much alright?”

“Easy for you to say, you have one fucking test today Dave. You’re not an idiot who took on more classes than you should have this semester. Now I’m going to get everything mixed up in my fucking brain and …”

“Hey,” Dave says cutting you off. He cups the side of your face with one of his hands and ducks his head down to meet your gaze from where you had been staring at the ground. “You’re going to do great. Just take it one class at a time and don’t over complicate it, okay?”

You hate yourself for how much his touch calms you down but you nod at him in response. He gives you another endearing as fuck smile and takes his hand away. Your self-hate surges at how much you miss his touch as soon as it’s gone. God dammit, did you mention the mixed fucking signals he gives you?

“Alright then bro, I’ll see ya at home then?” he asks and you give him another nod. He smiles again and turns and walks away with a wave. You turn to do the same and find Sollux standing a little ways off, presumably having witnessed yours and Dave’s entire exchange. He raises an eyebrow at you questioningly when you reach him.

“Not one fucking word ass licker or I’ll punch you so hard your lisp will disappear,” you threaten.

“I thought you said Dave was straight?” he asks anyway.

“God Dammit Sollux, I said not ‘one fucking word’!!”

“I know KK, I just want to make sure this doesn’t turn into another John situation ok?”

“Uggghhh. We’re just fucking friends. I’m not fucking stupid Sollux.”

He gives you a look filled with doubt but says ‘Okay’ and lets the subject drop. The two of you have the same final and walk to the class together. You push thoughts of your relationship with Dave away and focus on your test instead. You get through it relatively quickly and head to your next class. You try to do as Dave suggested and just focus on one at a time. It may just be because Dave was the one to suggest it but it does calm you down and help you focus. The morning flies by and before you know it you’re done with your third and last final. You heave a sigh of relief after turning it in and gather up your belongings to go home. You actually feel pretty good about all of your classes and you feel some of the stress leave your shoulders . As you head out of the classroom you’re surprised to see Dave sitting at one of the nearby tables and head over to him.

“Hey, I thought you would be at home by now,” you say.

“Well, I didn’t have to pick up Dirk for a while so I figured I’d stick around and make sure my best bro survived his finals,” he says, standing up and handing you your favorite drink from the campus coffee shop. “Plus, now that we’re on break, I thought maybe we could veg the fuck out tonight, so I went and got us some new shit to watch.” He grabs his backpack, opening it to reveal a bunch of random movies and junk food. “I mostly got Disney movies so Dirk can watch them with us.”

Honestly that sounds fucking wonderful and you tell him so.

“That sounds fucking wonderful dude. Now can we get the fuck out of this hellhole please? I don’t even want to think about this place for the next two weeks.”

“Lead the way man.”

You start walking and Dave falls into step beside you. The walk to Dirk’s preschool is short but pleasant, you and Dave falling into your normal, easy banter. Once the three of you get home, Ms. Harley lets you know that she’s ordering pizza to celebrate yours and Dave’s first completed semester. You, Dave and Dirk work on setting the living room up for a night of watching movies, bringing in all available spare pillows and blankets and setting out the movies and snacks.

After Ms. Harley orders the pizza, you and Dirk decide to take Bec for a short walk around the block so that he will hopefully settle down for the night. Dave stays home, saying he needs to call his sister Rose to get the last minute details of her and Roxy’s upcoming visit worked out. By the time you and Dirk get back, the pizza has arrived and Ms. Harley and Dave have already claimed their spots in the living room, Dave on one end of the couch and Ms. Harley in her favorite chair.

You take the spot opposite of Dave on the couch and Dirk settles in between the two of you. You spend the evening together stuffing your faces and watching your fill of Disney classics. It’s not even 9 o’clock when Dirk and Ms. Harley have already dozed off. Everything is so nice, peaceful and stress-free, something you still can’t help noticing because it’s such contrast to how you grew up. You look around the living room and smile at your little makeshift family. It hits you then how, in just a few short months, Dave and Dirk have become two of the most important people in your life. They fit right in as if they had always been there and now you can’t even imagine your life without them in it. Normally that feeling would make you uneasy but with Dave and Dirk it just feels right. You smile at the thought and feel something flick your ear. Of course the culprit is Dave.

“Dude, are you seriously smiling like an idiot at Tangled?”

“Fuck off Strider. They’re falling in love and it’s romantic, not that I’d expect you to realize or appreciate that fact,” you tell him, not about to admit the real reason for your smile.

“Lame. They’ve know each other for like two days, how the fuck are they already in love? The fuck are these movies teaching kids anyway?”

“Just because everyone you meet immediately finds you repulsive doesn’t mean it’s that way for everyone. There is such a thing as love at first sight.”

“Dude, that’s such a load of bullshit. Sure, maybe two people can have an attraction to each other at first sight and sure, maybe sometimes it can work out for them and turn into more but love doesn’t fucking instantly happen. That shit takes time and I think it’s bullshit that kid’s movies act like that’s the only way people should fall in love.”

“Are you literally getting philosophical with me over a fucking Rapunzel movie?”

“I’m just saying man. You’re getting all fucking sentimental over a bullshit movie trope that’s not fucking realistic.”

“Yeah, well I fell in *hate* at first sight with you so maybe there is something to it.”

“Dude, you just proved my point because you love me now.”

“Pfffttt, keep telling yourself that Dave,” you snap back at him, looking off to the side now, your mood ruined. Loving Dave is not something you’re going to admit to…. Because you don’t!! Love him… well, not romantically anyway.

“Don’t be like that man. You know I love you too,” Dave says and you look back at him surprised. “Man our Bromance is one that will transcend the ages. Poets will be writing ballads about us. We’ll be the biggest fucking movie trope known to man. Friendships will crumble because they won’t be able to reach our level of fucking bro-love dude.”

You roll your eyes at him and internally at yourself because of course he was talking friendship love you fucking dumbass. You don’t even like Dave like that so why fuck do you have to overthink every fucking thing he says and does. Ugh.

“Ok, I admit that I may not be completely sickened by your presence anymore, and that being friends with you is one step above the misery level of being eaten alive by rats,” you tell him, giving in.

“Aw, see dude, only your best fucking bro for life would know that was Karkat speak for ‘I love you too Dave’,” he says, giving you that grin that makes your stupid, traitorous stomach flutter. You snort in response and grin back at him.

“Alright douchebag, we should probably clean up and get Dirk and MS. H to bed,” you finally say, wanting to get off the current topic. Dave nods in agreement and you both begin picking up the mess. After all the trash has been thrown way and the leftover food put up, Dave scoops up Dirk and takes him up to his room. You put Bec outside for a few minutes and then come back in and wake up Ms. Harley so she can go to bed as well. You fold up the blankets that she and Dirk had been using and then let Bec back in and head upstairs yourself. You let Bec into Dirk’s room and since Dave’s no longer in there, you figure he must have went to bed as well, so you go to your own room and crawl into bed to do the same.

A few minutes later, a pajama clad Dave barges into your room without knocking, as he always does. Not missing a beat, he runs over to your bed and jumps on to it, except this time he doesn’t land on the other side and instead makes his landing right on top of you.

“Get off of me you fat fuck!” you grunt in protest as you push him off and onto the empty side of the bed. He just giggles as he steals half of your blankets and covers himself up, getting cozy. Apparently he’s sleeping in here again and you are more than ok with that fact. He pulls out his phone and you see him open his Hulu app.

“Wanna watch some Rick and Morty with me?” he asks you.

“Do I even have a fucking choice?”

“Nope.”

You roll your eyes at him again but you turn and shut off the light and then lay back down on your side, facing him. He gets an episode going and then scoots over enough so that your heads are almost touching, holding up his phone where you can both see it. You don’t pay much attention to the first half of the episode, instead you focus on trying *not* to focus on how good Dave smells and how he’s so close to you that you can feel his warmth. You finally get your thoughts calmed down and you’re able to actually pay attention to what you’re watching. By the middle of the third episode you’re fast asleep

\---

The next morning you open your eyes to see that Dave is already awake. He’s still lying next to you, messing around on his phone. You sit up and swing your legs over the side of the bed, letting out a yawn. Dave puts a hand on your shoulder and pushes you back down onto the bed. You stare up at him confused.

“Dude, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he asks.

“Uh. Getting up?”

“Nope. Fuck that. This is our first day of winter break. We’ve got no class, no finals, I don’t work til 7 tonight, Rose and everybody don’t get here til tomorrow. I say we spend the day being the two laziest assholes possible. Sound good?”

“Um, ok,” you respond, because that actually does sound pretty nice.

“Sweet, now get your cute little ass back under the covers and let’s watch some more TV,” he says, pulling up Hulu again.

Did Dave just call you cute? The fuck? He doesn’t seem to think anything of it though so maybe you just heard him wrong. You are still half asleep so you just let it go. About an hour and a half or so later you hear Dirk get out of bed and two little feet run across the hall and into his brother’s room. “Dave?” you hear him call. Dave shuts off his phone and in a swift movement pulls you flush against him and whips the blanket over both of you so that you’re completely covered. “Shhhhh” he whispers in your ear and oh fuck, you couldn’t even say anything if you tried because you’re currently having a Dave sensory overload. You hear Dirk come into your room.

“Karkat?” he says.

Dave tightens his grip around your middle and presses his face into your back to suppress his laugh. You still haven’t moved or said anything but Dirk must notice the Davekat shaped lump on your bed because you hear his little feet patter over and much like his brother the night before, he dive bombs right on top of you. That breaks you out of your trance and you and Dave both laugh in response as he continues to jump all over you, trying to rip the blankets off.

“DAAAAVVVVVEEEEEE!! IT’S NOOOOTTTT FUNNYYYYYYYY,” he whines but he’s laughing just as hard as both of you. Bec, having heard the commotion, comes running into your room and jumps up on your bed as well. He joins Dirk in jumping all over you and Dave and starts digging at the blankets, trying to get them off. His nails really fucking hurt so you and Dave share a nod of agreement and pull the blanket off your heads.

“Okay! Okay! We give up!” Dave yells, still laughing. Bec comes and licks both of your faces before he jumps off of the bed, now satisfied at having found you. Dave sits up and grabs Dirk around the middle and pulls him down to lay between the two of you and kisses his forehead. Dirk smiles up at him and then turns his face towards you so you can do the same, which you do.

“Can we go work on Snow Town?” Dirk asks.

“How about we be lazy and stay here and watch cartoons instead? I’ll let you pick what we watch,” Dave tries to entice him.

“Brrroooooo. Noooooo,” Dirk responds, not having any of it. He turns to you with pleading eyes. “Don’t you want to come build with me Karkat?” he asks and there’s no way you’re saying no to that.

“Of course I do,” you tell him and he beams up at you.

“God dammit Karkat, you traitor!” Dave says but he’s smiling and already starting to sit up. “Alright Dirk, you win. Go get dressed and we’ll go work on Snow Town with you.”

Dirk lets out a pleased laugh and jumps out of your bed and runs out of the room. You get up as well and Dave follows suit. “Fucker,” Dave says to you as he leaves your room to go get dressed. You just shrug at him and smile. After you’re all dressed, you eat a quick breakfast together with Ms. H and then head outside and spend several hours working on your town. A new layer of snow recently fell so there’s quite a bit of repairs that need to be made but you also have a lot of new snow to work with too. After you’re all sufficiently frozen, you head back inside and spend the rest of the day finishing up the movies Dave bought and then help Ms. Harley get some of the house decorated for Christmas until Dave has to leave for work.

After you get Dirk to sleep that night, you spend most of your evening messaging your friends. When it gets late you say your goodbyes and sign off, intending to go to sleep early since you know Dave has to close at work tonight. It takes you awhile to actually fall asleep but you do eventually drift off. You’re surprised when you wake up to find Dave crawling quietly onto his side of the bed. (Ok, when did you start thinking of it as ‘his side’) Even in your sleep filled haze you realize how happy it make you that he’s there.

“Hey,” you say quietly.

“Oh, hey. Sorry, I was trying not to wake you up.”

“ ‘S okay. How was work?”

“Eh, it fucking sucked major ass,” He says and lays down and pulls the blanket over him.

“ ‘m sorry,” you mumble and without thinking you reach your left hand over and begin to stroke his hair. Dave closes his eyes and moves into your touch so you continue doing it. You’re not sure which one of you falls asleep first.

\---

The next morning when you wake up Dave’s already awake again but this time he’s sitting up. His sisters and the Egberts both arrive today so you can’t spend another morning being worthless assholes. You both get up and get dressed and spend the morning cleaning your rooms and then helping Ms. Harley with her last-minute preparations as well. After the house is up to par, you and Dave head back up to your room to fuck around for a while before your guests arrive.

You’re sitting in your computer chair but have it turned around so that you’re facing Dave, who is sitting on your bed working on his lame as fuck web comic. He’s been telling you about his sisters for the last 45 minutes and you find it extremely adorable how excited he gets when he talks about them. ( You have to ignore the pang of sadness that it sends through you when you think about your own sister though)

You had both brought up a bag of chips but as always, Dave has wolfed his entire bag down in a matter of minutes. You, being more sensible and not a disgusting pig, still have over half your bag left. Dave notices this and sets his laptop to the side and stands up and heads over to you. You, foreseeing his course of action, grab your chips and crumple the top closed.

“Dude, let me have some chips,” he says.

“No, fuck you Dave. You had your own bag and I’m not letting you devour my bag too.”

“That’s bullshit bro, I share my chips with you all the fucking time. Now give me some chips.”

“No,” you tell him simply and open your bag just enough to grab a chip for yourself only. You pop it into your mouth as condescendingly as possible.

“Whatever man. Fuck you and your chips. I’ll just go get another bag,” he says and starts walking towards the door.

As he passes by you that sneaky fucker reaches out and snatches the chip bag from you and tries to run away. Your reflexes kick in and you reach one of your legs out and trip him before he gets far enough and he falls down on to your floor and his shades fly off and land a few feet away. You scramble from your chair and run over and attempt to wrench the chips from his grasp. He still has a tight as fuck hold on them though and you can’t get them away. As you’re focused on trying to loosen his grip, he takes the opportunity to grab ahold of your shoulder and flip you over so that he’s kneeling over you, one of his legs between each of yours. Dave has your right arm stretched above your head now, pinning your hand down where you’re both still gripping the chips, which are probably smashed to fuck now. You look up at him, intending to hurl an insult at him before you attempt to dislodge him but you stop short when you meet his gaze.

He has an intense look on his face that you can’t read, even with his shades off. Your words freeze in your mouth and you cease your struggle and just start back up at him. He releases his hold on the chip bag and uses that hand to support himself as he lifts his right hand up and brings it to your face. He brushes the hair away from your forehead and you feel him gently trace the big scar you have there that you got when Terezi unexpectedly jumped onto your back in middle school and sent you crashing head first into the sidewalk.

You open your mouth to tell him the story of it, hoping it might break the weird tension, when he moves his hand again, this time to the smaller scar right above your eyebrow. He traces it for a second before he moves to the last scar on your face, the one right above your upper lip. Those two scars are curtesy of your mother and neither of them are a story you would tell Dave. You almost yank your head to the side in shame when Dave redirects his attention once again. His hand stays in the same position but this time he moves just his thumb and traces your bottom lip several times. You don’t have any scars there that you know of and you wonder what he’s doing when he moves his gaze up from your lips and meets your eyes again.

Your breath hitches and you stop breathing, your heart is pounding so hard it feels like it’s going to explode out of your chest. Dave’s eyes are filled with heat and intensity and when he starts to lower his face closer to yours it feels like time stands still. You’re scared by the realization of just how bad you want him to press his lips against your own.

You both are snapped back into reality, the trance broken, when you hear the doorbell ring. Apparently, some of your guests have chosen the most inopportune fucking time possible to make their arrival. Dave scrambles off of you and stands up. Almost as an afterthought he reaches down and snatches the chips away from you. At this point that’s the last of your concerns and you let them go without a fight.

“Haha dude,” he says, laughing nervously. “You should know better than to try and keep chips from me.”

You stand up, trying to be nonchalant as you brush yourself off. “Whatever Strider, they’re all fucking crumbs now. You can have them.”

He shrugs and reaches in for a hand full of chips anyways, smirking at you as he shoves them into his mouth. Ew. Had you really just hoped he would kiss you with that disgusting thing?

“Come on you disgusting excuse of a human being., lets go see if your sister’s are here,” you tell him and start for your door. Dave wipes his hands on his jeans and falls into step beside you and flings an arm around your shoulders.

“Now remember,” he says,” no hitting on Rose.”

You elbow him in the side and turn away as he smirks at you but you let him keep his arm around you as you continue downstairs. You wonder how he can joke about you liking his sister after he just almost kissed you…. Maybe you just read that whole thing wrong and he hadn’t been about to press his lips to yours like a fucking romance trope from hell. That’s the more likely situation anyway. Straight or not, Dave would never want to kiss you. He’s like a perfect fucking 10 and you’re…. you’re not.

As you descend the stairs with Dave, you realize that there’s no denying that your dumbass does in fact have a blaringly obvious crush on your best friend. Your straight, way out of your league, best fucking friend. God dammit, you’re the worst kind of idiot and a horrible, horrible friend. Thank god that stupid doorbell rang when it did….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to include the Lalonde's and Egbert's arrival in this chapter but I ran out of time as I don't know if I'll be able to work on it anymore this week, so it is what it is =) Hope you all still enjoyed it.  
> As always, thanks for reading and all the kudos, comments and support. You guys are awesome and really keep me motivated. 
> 
> Find me on Tumblr [ @ nuwanda717 ](//www.tumblr.com/blog/nuwanda717)


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for a slight allusion to child molestation and quiet a few homophobic slurs.

You and Dave are about midway down the stairs when Ms. Harley and Dirk open the front door. It’s Ms. Harley’s family that have arrived and Mr. Egbert and his three children, Jane, Jake and John crowd into the house, taking turns to hug Ms. Harley in greeting. Dirk meanwhile has noped the fuck out and run up the stairs to hide behind you and Dave.

“John?” Dave says beside you, sounding confused. John turns towards the stairs at the sound of his name.

“Dave?” John responds, just as confused.

“Holy fuck dude, what are you doing here?”

“Me? This is my grandma’s house! What are you doing here?! Oh… Are you Karkat’s boyfriend?”

“What? No,” Dave responds, whipping his arm from your shoulders as if he’s been burned. “I… we…. Uh…”

“He and his brother Dirk are the ones that live here with us now dear,” Ms. Harley tells John, saving Dave from having to stutter out an explanation.

“Oh! Yeah! You said his name was Dave so that makes sense,” John says and smacks a palm against his forehead. “But I thought you lived with your really cool older brother Dave? What happened wi- “

“John,” Mr. Egbert says as he places his hand on his son’s shoulder.

You take the break in the conversation to quietly question Dave about how he knows John and he whispers back that they’ve been talking online since they were about 10 years old. As you and Dave are talking, John looks up at his dad, unsure at first what he wants but then it seems to click in his head that he’s being an insensitive dumbass.

“Oh. Right,” he says and turns his attention back to Dave on the stairs. Dave’s still standing there, shuffling like the awkward idiot that he is. “It’s soooo cool you’re here though Dave! We’ve talked about meeting for years!”

“Uh, yeah dude,” Dave responds. He turns to pick up Dirk and continues down the stairs toward John. You follow behind them. “I can’t believe you’re really here. We’re finally doing this. We’re making it happen.”

“Oh my god, you’re an even bigger nerd in person than you are online,” John says with an exaggerated eye roll. When Dave reaches John they exchange a fist bump and John holds his fist out for Dirk as well, who promptly ignores him and buries his face deeper into Dave’s shoulder.

“This is my little bro Dirk,” Dave explains, turning to show John the small fraction of Dirk’s face that isn’t currently buried. “He takes awhile to warm up to people though. And screw you dude, it’s not my fault you’re too big of a dork to recognize true coolness.”

John snorts in response and the two continue talking. You, meanwhile, have been bombarded by Jane and Jake who aren’t satisfied until they have your full attention. You’re honestly grateful for the distraction because your feelings may have been a little hurt by how quickly Dave pulled his arm from around you. After the greetings and introductions have died down, you, John and Dave carry the Egbert’s stuff up to Dave’s vacated room. Except for John’s, who will be staying in your room during their stay here. When that’s all done, everyone convenes to the dining room to eat the huge lunch Ms. Harley and her son quickly whipped up together. You take a seat next to John and Dave takes the seat on his other side and you try not to let yourself feel hurt by that fact. You’re slightly placated when Dirk comes and crawls into your lap to sit with you, but that could just be due to the fact that your chair is the farthest from where Jane and Jake are sitting.

Soon everyone is done eating but no one moves from the table, instead enjoying the easy and often entertaining conversations. It flows from Ms. Harley and her son catching each other up on mundane family happenings, while John makes you and Dave laugh with some embarrassing stories from his first semester of college, to everyone being involved as Ms. Harley regals you with from tales of her youth.

Dave has been checking his phone at least every 60 seconds and has kept you and Dirk updated on the progression of their sisters’ arrival. They’ve landed, got their luggage, hailed a taxi and are currently en route to your home. The closer they get the more Dave fidgets and his leg has not stopped bouncing for the last twenty minutes. Dirk is getting just as worked up but has focused his attention on twisting up a napkin and forming it into a vaguely animal-like shape.

When the doorbell finally rings, Dave stands up from his chair so fast that he almost knocks it over and Dirk scrambles off your lap and immediately races into the living room. Dave quickly follows after him and you and Ms. Harley stand to do the same. Mr. Egbert stands but asks his three children to help him clean up lunch instead of heading to the living room as well.

As you and Ms. Harley enter the living room, Dave opens the door and sure enough there are two girls standing there that are undeniably related to Dave and Dirk. Without hesitation the youngest, Roxy, flings herself at Dave who scoops her and hugs her as tight as he can as he twirls her around.

“Daaavvveee!” she squeals in her high pitched, little girl voice. “I freaking missed you soooo much dude!”

Dave laughs at this and responds, “I missed you too Rox. I missed you so much. I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” she answers and pulls back from Dave just enough to be able to shower him with kisses over his entire face, making him laugh.

As Dave and Roxy have their reunion, Rose and Dirk have one of their own. Rose had stepped inside and closed the door immediately after Roxy had thrown herself at Dave. As soon as she turned back around she had knelt down and held her arms open for Dirk who had wasted no time launching himself into them. The force had knocked Rose off balance causing her to fall back into a sitting position on the floor but she had just laughed and hugged Dirk tighter against her. She planted a kiss against his temple and kept her face pressed against his while she whispered, ‘I miss yous’ and ‘I love yous’ in his ear, rocking back and forth the entire time.

When the two sets of siblings are satisfied with their greetings, they break apart and basically switch off. Dirk and Roxy plow into each other, knocking each other over but not missing a beat as they begin to playfully wrestle around on the floor, taking turns to excitedly talk about things they deem important, i.e. Bec, Roxy’s cat, new toys they’ve gotten and which one of them is older and taller. Dave and Rose watch their younger two siblings greet one another for a moment or two before they turn and face one another.

“Rose,” Dave says in that infuriatingly monotone voice he has.

“Dave,” She responds just as icily.

They stare at each other for another moment before both of them smirk and crash into each other for a hug. Rose is a good deal shorter than Dave but he leans down to make up for the distance. She rests her head against his chest and he in turn rests his head against the top of hers. They clutch each other in silence for several long moments, Dave’s the first to break their quiet reunion.

“God dammit Rose, I missed you so fucking much,” he mumbles into her hair.

“I’ll admit there were times when I felt bereft by the lack of your presence, “she tells him.

“Just say you missed me, Rose. Do you always have to be so fucking eloquent with your wording?”

“One of us has to be.”

You and Ms. Harley watch from the sidelines as the siblings continue their reunion, completely oblivious to anyone else in the room. You’re so happy for all of them but you can’t stop the pang of sadness that shoots through you or the yearning that you feel in your heart when thoughts of your own sister and a reunion that will never come invade your thoughts. Ms. Harley must notice because she steps closer to you and places a hand on your back. When you don’t pull away she rubs your back and you welcome the comfort that it provides. Finally, Dave seems to realize that the two of you are there and pulls his sisters over for an introduction.

“Rose. Rox. Come here, there’s some people I’d like you to meet,” he says and starts with Ms. Harley. “This is Ms. J but uh, her full name is Jade Harley. She’s super rad and nice.”

Ms. Harley holds her hand out to Rose who promptly shakes it. “It’s so nice to meet you girls, Dave has told me so much about you,” she says, giving Rose and Roxy her warmest, most welcoming smile. Roxy smiles back and waves up at her enthusiastically. “Most people call me Jade but you girls can call me whatever you like.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well,” Rose starts, “and I’ll stick with calling you Ms. Harley if you don’t mind?”

“Ha!” Dave interjects before Ms. Harley can respond. “I told you she was just as uptight as Karkat, Ms. J!”

Ms. Harley smiles at Dave and you can tell she’s trying not to giggle. You and Rose both glare at Dave, probably proving his point. Now that he’s mentioned you, Dave must decide it’s as good as time as any to introduce you because he throws his arm around you and turns you both slightly so that you’re fully facing both of his sisters. It’s the first time he’s touched you since John arrived and you’re relieved to say the least.

“And this is Karkat,” he says. “He’s my heterosexual life-partner.”

“Hhmmm that’s quite an interesting introduction dear brother. There’s only one word of that sentence that I doubt,” Rose says, her gaze fully on Dave and a sly grin painting her lips.

“Rose. No,” Dave begins and slides his arm from around you as he stuffs his hands into his jean pockets but Rose snaps her attention from him and rests it fully on you. You not completely sure what just passed between the two of them, but you feel like you’re the butt of some joke and you don’t like it. You meet her gaze and although you have the urge to look way, you stubbornly hold it. Rose holds her hand out to you with a smile that seems insincere and you try to hide your reluctance as you shake it.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you Karkat. I feel as if I already know you since you seem to be Dave’s favorite topic these days.”

“You mean I’ve surpassed Doritos and dicks? That truly is a Christmas miracle,” you sass back at her and to your surprise (and hers it seems) she lets out a laugh. Now it’s Dave’s turn to glare at both of you instead. Roxy tugs on your shirt, pulling your attention away from Dave and Rose.

“You’re really cute,” she says, staring innocently up at you with great big eyes that are partially covered by her light blonde ringlets. You smile down at her, pretty sure that she’s your new favorite.

“Roxy always has had the same taste as you,” you hear Rose whisper to Dave, earning a frown from him in response.

Dirk pulls Roxy away from where she’s still staring up at you, “Come on Roxy, let’s go see my room,” he says and he and Roxy run up the stairs, hand in hand.

Dave’s still frowning at Rose who is giving him another smug smirk and you’re just standing there trying to keep your emotions from boiling over because you still feel like you’re the punchline to a joke that you can’t quiet grasp. Ms. Harley, as always, seems to pick up on the tension in the room.

“Why don’t you kids go ahead and take those suitcases up to Dirk’s room so that the girls can get settled in,” she says and then turns and speaks directly to Rose. “Once you’re all unpacked, there’s still some leftovers from lunch if you and Roxy would like to eat.”

“That sounds lovely. Thank you, Ms. Harley,” Rose answers.

Ms. Harley smiles back at her and with one last pat to your shoulder she heads back towards the dining room.

“Oh yeah,” Dave says to Rose, “guess what? John’s staying here too.”

“What? John Egbert?” Rose asks, caught off guard and Dave nods in response. “How did that happen? I took him as the sort to spend the holiday with family.”

“Yeah well, plot twist, turns out Ms. J is his fucking grandma and he’s here with his dad and little brother and sister. Small world, huh?”

“Hhmm, that is quite a surprise. Although not an unpleasant one. I thought you said Mr. *Harley* and his kids were coming though? I know for a fact that John and his father share the same last name.”

“Oh, yea. That was my fuck up. I just assumed they had the same last name as Ms. J but John said she never actually married his grandpa. Too much of a free spirit and all that shit,” Dave explains.

“Hhmm. Well it’s not like you*ever* assume things,” Rose says with a sarcastic roll of her eyes. “So, where is he?”

“He’s helping his dad clean up lunch,” you supply.

“Oh. Would you guys mind taking the suitcases upstairs while I go say hello?”

“Nah, that’s fine. Wouldn’t want to put any hinderance on you locking things down with John,” Dave tells her.

“Locking things down? Oh yes. Because John has all the qualities that I look for in a partner. Especially anatomically speaking,” she says, her voice clearly laced in sarcasm, as she turns and saunters out of the room in the same direction Ms. Harley went. Dave frowns after her, his face obviously draped in confusion. He turns back to you and shrugs.

“What the fuck was all of that about Strider?”

“Dude, I don’t fucking know. I’m still trying to figure out half the shit Rose says and I’m related to her. Now come on. Let’s hurry up and get this shit upstairs.”

You each grab a suitcase and a carry-on bag, the extent of their luggage, and drag it up to Dirk’s room. He and Roxy are still in there and Dirk’s currently showing her his fish tank. As soon as Roxy spots Dave, she flies at him as if it’s the first time she’s seeing him again. Dave hurries and sets down the luggage and scoops her up as she gets to him and plops her belly side down onto his shoulder and carries her over to the bed. She squeals in delight as he flips her off and drops her onto the bed. Not wanting to be left out, Dirk runs over and lifts his hands up for a turn. Dave, of course, obliges him, and he spends the next 15 minutes or so twisting and flipping his younger siblings onto the bed. They’re laughing so hard that they can barely breathe by the time he’s finished.

“Alright guys, I can’t do anymore right now,” Dave says, earning two disappointed “Awwwwwww’s” in response. “We’ll do some more later though, ok? But hey Dirk? Can you take Roxy down to the kitchen? Rose is there and Ms. J saved some lunch for them.”

Dirk nods and grabs Roxy’s hand again and leads her from the room. As they pass by, Roxy smiles up at you and gives you a small wave, both of which you return. Dammit. She’s won your heart just as quickly as Dirk did. You and Dave are now alone and you hate that it feels awkward. It’s probably just you over thinking things like you always do though.

“I think you have a new fan Karkat,” Dave say and smiles at you. You feel relieved at the sight of it.

“Yeah, well naivety of the youth. She just doesn’t know any better yet.” Dave looks like he wants to say something more but he stays quiet, which is not something you’re used to from him. “Are we okay?” you ask instead.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. You just seem... quiet I guess…”

“Oh… No dude, we’re good. It’s just been a long day and I’m kinda tired. We’re definitely good though.”

“Okay.”

“Well uh.. I’m going to go take a shower while Rose and Roxy are eating,” he says and heads toward the door.

“Okay.”

He gives you an awkward wave before he slips completely out of sight. You’re still not convinced that everything’s fine but you decide not to dwell on it and head into your room. You’re only in there a few minutes when you hear a light knock on your door. You turn to find Rose leaning against the door frame, staring at you with an expression that makes you think of a lioness stalking her prey.

“Hello, Karkat,” she says and pushes herself off of the frame and sashays, uninvited, into your room.

“Lalonde. I thought we were done with awkward greetings,” you say, your defenses already up.

“Oh, quite the contrary. As much as my dear brother may like to go on and on about you, I still don’t actually know anything about you. I thought maybe we could change that,” she says giving you that same fake smile from before.

“Yeah? Well what are you so impatient to find out about me that you had to barge into my room uninvited?”

The smile disappears from her face and morphs into a pointed glare, a much more natural look for her you think. She strolls over to the edge of the bed and sits down, straightening her skirt as she does so. She lifts her gaze back up to meet yours, glare still in place.

“Dave mentioned you to me, on several different occasions, before you began watching Dirk. If my memory serves me right, I believe he referred to you as the ‘angry dude who hates his guts and yells at him’.”

“Yeah. That sounds like a pretty accurate description. Do you have a fucking point here?”

“Well it just strikes me as odd that you would go from hating Dave one day to becoming his best friend and savior the next, don’t you think?”

“No. That’s not how it fucking happened. Not that I feel the need to explain myself to you but I overheard Dave talking with his case manager about losing custody of Dirk so I stepped in to help because I’ve been in similar fucking situations. I still hated Dave at the point and we didn’t even become friends until later.”

“Ah, so you only had a change of heart when you discovered that Dave had a *younger* brother? And you just jumped at the opportunity to help a mere acquaintance, that you supposedly hated, for no payment? Did you plan on collecting payment another way perhaps?”

You’re mouth drops open because is she seriously fucking insinuating what you think she is? You swallow down the bitter lump in your throat before you respond.

“I’m pretty sure I know what you’re getting at here Lalonde and before I say anything else I just want to get one thing out of the way. FUCK YOU. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck. You. Okay, now that that’s out of the way, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt because you’re just a concerned sister looking out for her brothers and *that* I can understand. So because of that I’m going to be real with you and this is probably the most sincere you’ll ever fucking see me so take notes. I did fucking hate Dave. I’m sure even you can agree that he doesn’t make the greatest first impression, even though I don’t think that’s entirely his fault. That night I saw him talking to his case manger I *still* fucking hated him but I saw something in his expression and the way he held Dirk that reminded me of myself and my own sister and I fucking acted before I even knew what I was doing when I talked to his case manager. I’ll admit that I regretted it instantly and was sure I had fucked up but let me tell you Lalonde, that was the best fucking decision I’ve ever fucking made. I love Dave and Dirk and I would fucking die for them and I would never, ever fucking hurt either of them intentionally. So don’t ever fucking insinuate otherwise again.”

Lalonde’s expression hasn’t changed once throughout your explanation. When you’re finished speaking, you cross your arms and wait for her response. She finally breaks eye contact with you and looks down at her lap and smooths out her skirt again before standing up. She walks over to you and you’re not sure what to expect but brace yourself for the worse. She stops when she’s only a few inches from your face.

“I think we’re going to get along just fine,” she says and smiles at you genuinely for the first time. She turns on her heel and heads toward your door, stopping just before she exits.

“Dave says you like romance novels and I too enjoy them. We’ll have to get together and discuss our favorites sometime,” she says. She then continues walking out and as she does Dave exits his own room and seeing her leave, he comes into yours.

“Everyhting ok?” he asks you.

“Fuck if I know. I think I just passed some fucking test though,” you tell him.

“That sounds like Rose. But hey, at least you passed,” he says and smiles at you.

“Yeah. At least,” you say and smile back at him.

“Come on, let’s head down stairs bro. I think everyone’s hanging out in the living room.” You nod at him and follow him out.

\---

That night, after everyone had decided it was a good time to retire, you and John are hanging out in your room catching up. You’re in your desk chair and John’s setting up the couch, which is where he likes to sleep when he visits. Dave’s currently with Rose putting Dirk and Roxy to sleep. It’s not long before he comes into your room.

“Hey guys,” he says walking over and climbing onto your bed. “They’re all asleep, Rose included. She said she was tired from the trip.”

“Aw,” says John. “ I was hoping she’d come hang out some more.”

“Yea, me too but at least we have like the next two weeks to hang. I’m probably just gonna crash too,” Dave replies and picks up his pillow and fluffs it.

“Are you sleeping in Karkat’s bed?” John questions with the same tone of voice he had earlier when he asked if Dave was your boyfriend. Dave freezes mid fluff.

“What? Uh… No. No, of course not. I’m just uh, grabbing an extra pillow cuz Rose used all the other ones for her big, fat head,” he says, trying to laugh it off. He scrambles off the bed almost as quickly as he ripped his arm from around you earlier. He goes straight for the door, not even sparing a glance at you.

“Alright guys, I just wanted to say night so uh… night,” he gives one last wave and disappears through the door.

You don’t feel like talking much after that, so you suggest that you and John turn in early as well. He agrees and never being one to have a hard time going sleep, he’s out in a few minutes. You however, are up most of the night, plagued by your thoughts. You try to convince yourself that Dave’s just overwhelmed with John being here and his sisters coming and that he’ll be back to himself tomorrow but your brain isn’t so easily persuaded.

\---

The next morning after breakfast, you, John, Rose and Dave are hanging out in the living room watching some show that no ones paying attention to. The little ones are in the kitchen with Ms. Harley and Mr. Egbert, making Christmas cookies. You’ve all been reminiscing about your friendships throughout the years. The atmosphere is much more relaxed and easy going today and you’re beyond relieved. Dave even choose to sit next to you on the couch, close enough that you can feel his body heat radiating off of him.

“Hey Karkat,” John says. “Remember when you had that crush on me in 10th grade?”

“Yes John, me making a complete jackass out myself isn’t something I’m likely to forget,” you snap back at him. John laughs and start to say something more but Dave interrupts him.

“Wait. What? You had a crush on John?” he asks, staring right at you. You nod at him response, a feeling of dread growing in the pit of your stomach. “So you.. you’re gay? But… But what about Terezi and Nepeta?”

“I like girls too, dumbass. There’s more than two fucking sexualities Dave,” you reply defensively.

“Oh god,” John intercedes, “you mean Karkat hasn’t given you the “Pan Sexual” talk yet?”

“What? Like a frying pan?” Dave asks.

“Oh my god,” you say and cover your face in mortification. John answers for you.

“No, pan sexual means someone who likes everybody, I guess? I don’t know, Karkat explains it better.”

“But you like dudes?” Dave asks beside you, not giving you a chance to explain. You notice that he’s scooted over on the couch, putting as much distance between you as possible. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Dave you’ve literally been calling me gay since the moment we met. I thought you knew but even if you didn’t I didn’t think it was a big fucking deal.”

“Yeah. But… I was just joking around. I wasn’t fucking serious.”

“Does him being Pan bother you Dave?” Rose asks from the couch, where she had quietly been observing up to this point.

“What? No. He can suck all the dick he wants, it doesn’t fucking bother me. I know lots of gay people. I’m fine with it. I’m just… surprised.”

“You’re being an asshole, Dave,” Rose tells him and your glad she does because you don’t know what you’d say if you opened your mouth right now.

“Fuck off Rose. I don’t need you being my moral fucking compass right now, alright?” He says and stands up from the couch. “I’m going to go get some apple juice, does anyone want anything?”

All of you are silent in response and Dave absconds from the living room.

“Karkat,” Rose says and you look over at her. “I’m so sorry. Dave’s just-“

“Its fine,” you say not letting her finish. “It’s fucking fine, really.”

Dave comes back in from the kitchen and you know you’re not the only one that notices that he chooses to no longer sit by you. He picks a spot on the floor, close to Rose. The two of them start whispering back and forth, obviously arguing, until Dave explodes.

“I’M NOT FUCKING GAY ROSE AND I DON’T FUCKING CARE IF HE IS! CAN YOU PLEASE JUST LET IT FUCKING GO?!”

You stand up, drawing John’s and Rose’s attention. Dave just stares at the floor.

“I… I’m not ..I’m not feeling well. I’m going to go lay down,” you tell them and you all but run up the stairs and to the safety of your room. You grab your blanket and pillow off your bed and head to the back of your closet where you know you can cry in peace. This time you know Dave won’t come looking for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr [ @ nuwanda717 ](//www.tumblr.com/blog/nuwanda717)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW this chapter for self-hatred
> 
>  So, I think I legit pissed some people off with that last chapter (ty tumblr anons) . Just a quick explanation, I really wanted to convey Dave and Karkat falling for each other but Dave not realizing that's what was happening. he really thought Karkat was straight and was using him as a guideline for what he deemed acceptable behavior between guy friends. When he found out Karkat is pan and likes guys, it was like a major fucking blow for him and now he's questioning ALL of his actions these last few months, trying to figure shit out and unfairly placing blame on Karkat. Not to mention he has John there, who has been his gay-joke loving buddy and his sister Rose, who is constantly analyzing his every action and insinuating he likes guys(Rose thinks she's helping lol) I just wanted my readers to feel that blow the same way Dave and Karkat are right now. Sorry if I upset anyone. ( also, sorry for these long ass notes, I'll probably go through and delete them all some day =P)
> 
> This chapter is mainly some self-indulgent and hopefully cute Dirk and Roxy moments

You make it through the rest of the morning and early afternoon without being discovered. You hear John come in not long after you disappeared and you know it’s him before he even calls your name because he’s such a loud, bumbling fuck. You think Rose also comes in at one point because you hear the same soft knock from earlier on your door. You don’t answer either of them though and they eventually go away.

As much as you hate to admit it to yourself, there’s only one person you want to come find you right now. Why? You’re not completely sure. So you can yell at him? So maybe he can apologize, tell you that he was wrong? So he can come and just sit next to you and comfort you like he did last time and things can just go back to the way they were before? Or maybe just so you can ignore him, let the silence tell him how much he’s really hurt you. You really don’t fucking know but it doesn’t matter because Dave never comes.

You spend most of your time replaying yesterday’s and this morning’s events through your mind. Dave was obviously being a dick but you can’t help yourself from thinking of the ways you could have prevented his outburst from happening. Fuck, maybe you should have told him from the beginning that you’re pan. It’s not something you usually try to hide from anyone. Maybe on some level you were scared to tell Dave. Maybe you were hiding it. You were too comfortable with the way things were going. Enjoying becoming close to him too much. I mean, you do have an embarrassingly, huge fucking crush on him. Is it creepy you didn’t tell him? Oh god, it probably is. You’re so gross, no wonder Dave’s so pissed. God dammit, you’re such a fucking dumb ass. Maybe your mom was right… you should have never been born….

It’s around 2 pm or so, with you completely absorbed in your self-destructive thoughts, when your hiding place is found. You hear two sets of little feet patter into your room. “Karkat?” you hear Dirk call out. You debate with yourself on whether you should answer him or not and as you do you can hear him and Roxy whispering back and forth. Before you can decide if you should answer him or not, there’s a knock on your closet door. Of course poor little Dirk would be the one to think to look in here. What did Dave save about the closet and abused kids again? Ugh, why does everything lead your thoughts back to Dave?

“Come in,” you croak out, your voice raspy from crying. You wipe at the tears still staining your face and attempt to pull yourself together in the few seconds you have.

The door opens slightly and two little blonde heads peek in. As soon as they spot you they waste no time coming in and crawling over to you, where you’re still lying huddled in your blanket. The both take a seat right in front of you and stare down at you with identical expressions of wide eyed confusion.

“Are you ok?” Dirk asks first. You sit up so you can talk to them better, crossing your legs and pulling the blanket around your shoulders.

“Yeah little dude, I’m alright. I just… I’m kind of tired and I have a headache.”

“Oh,” Roxy responds this time. “We came to find you because Dave’s being grouchy and Dirk said you always make him happy but maybe he’s just sick too.”

“Yeah. Maybe,” you mumble more to the floor than to her. You have to consciously stop the tears from starting again at the mention of Dave. Dirk’s staring at you intently, obviously concerned and you feel like the scum of the earth for making him worry.

“Come on Roxy,” he says abruptly and gets up and darts from the closet. Roxy gives you one last glance before she follows her brother. That was kind of weird for Dirk but honestly you wouldn’t want to be around a sad, miserable asshole like you either. You lay back down on your pillow and try to fall into the forgiving blackness of sleep. You’re exhausted from crying and it doesn’t take long before you’ve almost drifted off. You’re startled back awake when you hear another knock on the closet door. You don’t answer immediately but it doesn’t matter because the closet door swings open right after the knock. Dirk and Roxy come filing back in, this time their arms are loaded with stuff.

They sit down in front of you again and drop their stuff into a pile on the floor.

“We brought you some stuff to make you feel better,” Dirk says and picks up his favorite plush horsey from the pile and lays it next to you, tucking it under your blanket.

“And we brought you cookies too!” Roxy say and pulls a ziplock baggie from pile and holds it up for you to see. “I made you a special heart shaped one! Dirky tried to eat it but I wouldn’t let him,” she proudly tells you and Dirk sticks his tongue out at her.

“It’s so pretty, Roxy. Thank you both, I think I feel better already,” you tell them with as much enthusiasm as you can muster. They both beam at you and continue showing you the rest of things they’ve brought for you, which includes two bottles of water, a flashlight, some crayons and a coloring book, an orange, Roxy’s favorite blankie and the two books that you bought for Dirk the time he had his nightmare episode. Him and Roxy each read one of them to you, using the flashlight to see. Well, so much for not crying again. You hope you can maybe play it of as just the sniffles but neither of them end up questioning you about it.

When they finish reading, they both stay and talk to you for a while, filling you in on the details of their day. Roxy’s as smitten with Bec as Dirk is and she spends at least ten minutes telling you about her kitty back home. Dirk also fills you in on his continued feud with Jane and Jake and you have to stifle your smile because he’s so adamant about it in a way that only a five-year-old can be. Roxy, meanwhile, is not amused and they have a brief argument over it because she thinks ‘Jane and Jake are both really cute and nice.’ You pull out the cookies to share with them, which ends their argument, and you make sure to eat the heart shaped one first.

Their visit finally comes to an end when you all hear Rose calling for them. You’ve sat up by this point and they both give you hugs before they leave. Roxy whispers in your ear that she’s going to need her blankie back by tonight and you smile and tell her ‘Ok’. You ask them to please not tell anyone where you are and they both nod in agreement. Dirk goes into his best ninja act and Roxy follows him out as he cautiously sneaks from the closet. The last thing you hear as they close the door is an “I told you ninjas were the coolest’ from Dirk and a small “Ow’ as Roxy punched his arm in response.

You lay back down, now smiling. You’re grateful for the distraction they gave you and you hope you can fall asleep before thoughts of Dave come back full force. You’re going to have to brave leaving the closet it when you wake up but fuck it, you’ve faced worse. You hate not knowing what to expect though and you wish you could ask Terezi or Sollux to come over to be your reinforcements, but both of those assholes went home for the holidays. Kanana’s still in town though…maybe you’ll text her if things get any worse. Yeah, that sounds like a good plan you think as you drift back to sleep.

\---

When you finally wake up, it’s nearing six o’clock. You stand up, stretch and hurry out of the closet. You’re more concerned with disappointing Ms. Harley if you miss the special dinner you know she planned to cook tonight than you are about seeing Dave again. You make a pitstop in the bathroom and then head straight to the dining room. Everyone’s already seated but thankfully it looks like dinner hasn’t started yet. You notice Ms. Harley isn’t seated yet, so, without making eye contact with anyone, you go into the kitchen to find her. Sure enough she’s in there, getting the food ready to be carried to the table for serving, and you go and stand beside her, ready to help.

“Oh, there you are, dear. I was starting to miss you,” she says.

“Yeah, it was kind of a rough morning. I needed some time,” you explain, not needing to elaborate for her.

“Are you good now?”

“Um. I don’t know,” you tell her truthfully and she turns to look directly at you, studying your face. She’s never been one to pry but she’s never really needed to, usually being spot on about sensing what’s bothering you. Tonight’s no different.

“Hhmm. You don’t have to tell me any details dear, but I can see that self blame written on your face and you know how I feel about that so I’m just going to say this : You are good and smart and caring and wonderful and I love you. I am so glad that you’re here and a part of my life and I know that your friends all feel the same way. Anyone who would think or say otherwise is an idiot, ok? And you know that I’m always here to talk if you need, right?”

You’re staring at the floor, embarrassed whenever she gets sentimental on you, but you nod your head in acknowledgment.

“Alright then, lets get this food out there. You now what a grump John can be when he gets hungry, “she says and hands you one of the serving dishes.

You follow her out of the kitchen and anyone who would accuse you of hiding behind her can go fuck themselves. You glance nervously around the room. John smiles awkwardly at you, Rose and Mr. Egbert give you a nod, Dave stares down at his plate and you get four enthusiastic greetings from all of the children. You’re saved from the awkwardness of having to pick a seat by Roxy, who smiles up at you and pats the seat next to her. You smile back and take it with a sigh of relief.

Dinner is awkward to say the least. John and Rose both try to pull Dave into a conversation but he doesn’t respond to either of them, just continues to stare down at his plate. Ms. Harley is the only one he answers but even she receives one or two-word responses. Roxy, precious angel that she is, keeps you from having to be a part of any of it as she talks to you non-stop almost the entire dinner. The only time she stops talking to you is when Rose tells her to ‘Eat’.

Regardless, your stomach is in knots and you have to force yourself to eat so that you don’t hurt Ms. Harley’s feelings. As soon as everyone is done eating, Dave gets up and leaves the table as quick as he can, his head still down. He stops and thanks Ms. Harley for dinner and then rushes out. You hear him ascend the stairs and a door slam, which your guessing to be Dirk’s. You flinch at the sound. Rose mumbles something under her breath.

“Dave’s not feeling good,” Roxy announces loudly to everyone. “Karkat was sick too but me and Dirk made him better! We’re going to try to help Dave too!” John, Rose and you are all silent but Ms. Harley answers her.

“That’s very nice of you, sweetie. Dave’s lucky to have you both. Karkat too!” she tells her. Roxy pleased at the praise, jumps up and pulls Dirk with her.

“Come on Dirky, lets go help Dave,” she says and she and her little brother run from the room.

“Man, Dave’s lucky to have such a nice brother and sister. I wouldn’t know what that’s like,” you hear John whisper to Jane and Jake. They both stick their tongues out at him and then promptly tell their Dad on him.

As John’s getting a talking to, you and Rose start cleaning up from dinner. Neither of you say much and that’s okay with you. Once dinner is all cleaned up, you head back up to your room, not knowing or really caring how everyone else is planning to spend the evening. You read one of your favorite novels, trying to keep your thoughts from Dave, which isn’t easy when you’re pretty sure he’s in the room next door.

A few hours later, John comes up to go to sleep. He asks if you’re ok but doesn’t press when you tell him you’ll be fine. He’s just about to lay down when there’s a soft knock on your door. (You seriously think you’ve heard more knocking today than you have your entire life)

“Yeah?” you say and Rose opens the door and comes in.

“Hello. I thought I’d come hang out for awhile and sleep in here if that’s okay?” she says, mostly to you.

“Yeah, that’s…whatever,” you tell her, not really knowing what to say or think but she smiles back at you in response.

“What about Dave?” John asks and then covers his mouth when he realizes he probably shouldn’t mention Dave in front of you.

“He’s right where he belongs,” Rose tells him. “He’s acting like a baby, so he should sleep with the babies.”

You snort and John let’s an awkward chuckle. Rose saunter’s over to the couch and flops down.

“Why John, that was so thoughtful of you to ready the couch for me to sleep on,” she says, and stares at him as if daring him to refute her.

“But…I.. that’s… you’re welcome Rose,” he stammers out, ultimately giving in.

You snort again and Rose smirks, obviously pleased with herself. John looks toward your bed, then the floor, then your door, apparently not knowing what to do now.

“Oh my god John. You can sleep in my bed you idiot. All of my feelings for you, aside from friendship, are long, long fucking gone. Hell, I even question the friendship part sometimes,” you tell him and smile so that he knows you’re joking about the friendship part.

“No, I know. I know… It’s just…”

“Maybe he wants to go sleep with the babies?” Rose chimes in, challenging him. He glares back at her but doesn’t say anything else and stomps over and climbs dramatically onto you bed. You and Rose both laugh at him and after a moment he joins in. The three of you chat for a while longer but it’s mostly Rose and John doing the talking. John falls asleep first and Rose follows suit not long after. You, of course, stay up much later than them, the nap from earlier fucking you over.

 You’ve always had a hard time keeping your thoughts in check when you’re trying to go to sleep and right now they’re headed in a downward sprial. They keep drifting to Dave in the other room and you wonder if he can’t sleep either. You swallow your pride and text him a simple ‘HEY’ but he doesn’t respond. You regret sending it, knowing you must look like a desperate asshole to him now. He doesn’t want to talk to you, he’s made that obvious. You spend the rest of your night hating yourself for reaching out until, mercifully, sleep takes you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading! I seriously appreciate each and every comment and kudos so much! 
> 
> Find me on Tumblr [ @ nuwanda717 ](//www.tumblr.com/blog/nuwanda717)


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I really wasn't planning on putting out another chapter for at least a few days but then I realized today is Dave and Dirk's birthday and I had to get a new chapter up for it lol So you guys got 3 updates this week because I'm crazy ;) 
> 
> TW this chapter for some heavily homophobic negativity and slurs
> 
> FYI, there's a POV change in the middle of this chapter. It will come after the *******
> 
> Also, I made a slight edit in chapter 18 to explain why Dave didn't realize John was Ms. Harley's grandson ( I forgot to include it =/ ) It's right after Rose and Roxy arrive and Karkat and Dave are about to take the luggage upstairs if you want to go back to read it. 
> 
> One more thing, if you notice that Karkat's emotions are kind of up and down, that is intentional. He's a cancer and it's what we do ;)

Dave continues to ignore you and it simultaneously pisses you off and makes you spiral further down into your pit of self-hate and sadness. Thankfully the house is pretty much in a constant state of chaos as the last preparations for Christmas take place and you’re not able to focus on the situation with Dave as obsessively as you normally would. The tree has been put up and decorated, last minute shopping is complete, presents are wrapped, and food prep has begun. Even if Dave wasn’t being a dick you still probably wouldn’t have seen much of him anyway. At least that’s what you try to tell yourself, although it doesn’t really make you feel any better. Maybe things will smooth out after Christmas passes.

The children are your biggest distraction and much of your time is spent playing with them. Jane spends most of her time helping her father and grandmother in the kitchen and you’ve joined in to help a few times. Jake would normally be exploring the house but you think he’s slightly intimidated by Dirk and he’s been hanging in the kitchen with his sister. He’s not much for baking but he does enjoy the high number of bites everyone sneaks him.

Dirk and Roxy are a nonstop force, bouncing between hanging with their older brother and sister, exploring the house and backyard, searching for handouts in the kitchen, building in snow town and playing with Bec. Dirk’s in his element having someone his own age to play with and you decide you're going to make a concentrated effort to find him a friend to hang out with at preschool once it resumes.

The two sets of kids are still at odds and Jane and Dirk are the leaders of the feud. Roxy and Jake are more like passive bystanders and you’ve caught them occasionally playing together before one of their siblings intervenes and sweeps them away. Their war comes to a head on Christmas Eve morning.

You are out back with all of them. Dirk’s working on snow town and Jane and Jake are building a snowman together. Your attention is mostly focused on Roxy who keeps on trying to ride Bec. She’ll climb on his back and Bec, having none of it, will sit down until she slides off and then he lays down playfully on top of her. She squeals in delight each time and crawls out from under him to start the process over. It’s adorable as fuck and entertaining as well. You don’t notice when Jake becomes bored with the snow man and goes over to the edge of snow town and starts building. Dirk notices immediately though and stands up and walks over to Jake.

“Only ninjas can build in snow town. Cowboys have to build somewhere else,” he says to Jake.

Jake’s never been one for confrontation and starts to cry immediately. Dirk looks scared, obviously not expecting that reaction and Jane’s head whips around as soon as she hears her brother’s wails. She starts towards them instantly but so do you, and thankfully you’re faster. You scoop Jake up as soon as you get to him and place yourself between Dirk and Jane. Roxy noticed the commotion and ran over as quickly as you did. You pat Jake’s back soothingly as you speak to everyone.

“Alright kiddos, I think that’s enough outside time for now. I bought you all a special book for Christmas. How about we go inside and read it?” you ask them and receive a chorus of ‘Yeses’. You lead them all inside and to the living room. After everyone is out of their boots and coats, you grab a gift bag from under the tree and settle down on the couch with Jane and Jake on one side of you and Roxy and Dirk on the other. You let Jake open the gift since he’s still kind of sniffly. He pulls it out and the three other kids lean over so that they can take a look at it.

“The legend of Ninja, Cowboy and Bear,” Jane reads aloud.

“Yep. Do you guys want me to read it to you?” you ask and everyone nods their head yes.

Jake hands you the book and you open it and start reading. It’s about three best friends, a ninja, cowboy and bear, obvious-fucking-ly, who do everything together. One day they have an argument over who is best and start competing. They all have different talents and win at different things. They eventually learn that they are all unique and each have their own strengths and that’s ok.

“So see guys,” you start telling them, “even though they’re different from each other they’re still really great friends. It’s our differences that keep life fun and interesting. It would be boring if we were all the same.”

“Yeah!” Roxy loudly exclaims and the other three nod along. “I think this means that we’re bears though Janey,” she continues and Jane smiles at her before busting out laughing. The other three kids and even you join in with her. They all stay and talk with you about the book for a few more minutes. You try to answer their questions as best as you can. Dirk ends up asking Jane and Jake if they want to see his room and they agree and all of them race up the stairs.

You don’t think the book was a cure all for their fight but you’re happy to see them making an effort to get along now. You smile to yourself and set the book aside as you stand up and stretch. The kids must have kicked Dave out of the room because as you turn around he’s coming down the stairs. You both freeze for a moment and just stare at one another. It’s the first time you’ve been alone since he found out you’re pan. He breaks eye contact and continues down the stairs and heads toward the back of the house.

“So that’s it? You have nothing to say to me,” you can’t stop yourself from saying to his retreating back.

“What the fuck do you want me to say Karkat,” he says, whipping around to face you again.

“I don’t fucking know. Just something. Say fucking something Dave. I thought we were friends.”

“Yea, well so did I.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean Strider. Are we… are we not friends?” you ask and your voice breaks on the last word.

“God dammit Karkat…we are… I just… friends don’t fucking lie to each other ok?!”

“I didn’t fucking lie to you Dave!!” you yell back him, your voice now bordering on hysterical.

“You should have fucking told me you like dudes!” he yells back at you and you have to hold back the tears in your eyes. You’ve never seen Dave get this loud or angry before.

“What the fuck does that matter?! Why does that make any fucking difference to you?!”

Dave pushes his shades up into his hair and covers his face with both hands and rubs at it. “Uuuuggghh. It’s just fucking does ok?! Now can you just leave me alone and give me some fucking time to process it for fucks sake?!”

“Fine. Fucking fine! Take all the god damn time you need Strider! I don’t give a fuck!” you all but scream at him.

He turns and continues the way he was headed. You go towards the front door and put on your jacket and shoes and slam out the door. You need to burn off some of your negative energy and start walking towards the park. You text Terezi and Sollux along the way to see if there’s any chance they’re coming back early. They’re not. Terezi says she’ll be back on the 28th though so she can start getting ready for her New Years Eve party. That’s only 4 days away. You can make it until then. You’ll be fine. Fuck Strider and his bullshit.

\---

The next morning you’re awakened by a super excited Jane and Jake bursting into your room yelling at you and John to get up and come downstairs to open presents. John groans and throws his pillow at them as they race from your room laughing. You smile and stretch and climb out of bed. You scoop up John’s pillow from the floor and go over and whack him in the head with it, telling him to hurry the fuck up and get his ass down stairs.

Everyone aside from Ms. Harley and John are already downstairs and crowded into the living room. You’re happy to see that all four kids are sitting on the floor in front of the tree together, talking excitedly amongst themselves. You take a seat on the floor next to Ms. Harley’s favorite chair. You would have chosen this spot anyway but today it has the added bonus of being farthest from Dave. He’s keeping with his now usual routine of avoiding eye contact with you. Rose at least greets you with a warm smile.

Ms. Harley comes down a few minutes after you. She’s as bubbly and as warm as ever. John follows soon after, the exact opposite of his grandmother and flops down on the couch with a huff, still half asleep. Ms. Harley gives the okay for the kids to start handing out presents and after they’ve all been distributed the kids start ripping into theirs. The adults all watch the kids open their gifts first, enjoying their excitement and snapping pictures. You notice Dave is using his phone instead of the camera you got him and you try not to let it bother you.

Dirk’s as excited about his robotic kits as Dave said he would be and you get a huge hug and a slew of thank you’s from him. After the kids have finished opening all of their presents, the adults start on theirs, dolling out thanks and appreciations as you do. From the corner of your eye you see Dave pick up the box that contains the gift you got him. You hold your breath waiting to see his reaction. You had debated with yourself last night over whether you should give it to him or not but you had ultimately decided not to be petty.

You really fucking regret that decision when you see him read the names on the gift tag and frown. He sets it back down, unopened, and moves onto the next present. You feel like someone’s punched you in the gut. It’s hard to breathe. You scan the pile of your remaining gifts and there is definitely not one from Dave. Okay. You shouldn’t expect *anyone* to get you a gift. It’s okay. But you know what? Fuck that because he showed you the presents that he bought for everyone else and *everyone* got one. You didn’t expect anything big but you at least thought…. Fuck you don’t know. Apparently you’ve been wrong about a lot of things lately. This is just another thing you can add to the list.

You feel Ms. Harley put her hand on your shoulder. She keeps it there until you get your breathing back under control and calm down. She’s the only one who is aware of your small meltdown, thank fuck. You’ve been trying to be strong and handle this shit by yourself but fuck that, you think. You need reinforcements and you’re fucking texting Kanaya as soon as you get a chance.

 

************

 

After everyone had finished opening their gifts, and you had stayed for what you considered long enough to not be rude, you scooped up your gifts (including the unopened one from Karkat) and discreetly fucked off to Dirk’s room. Once there, you carefully dump everything into the corner where you’ve been keeping your shit, since your room is still overflowing with Egberts. You sit there staring at the unopened present for an unknown amount of time. At one point you pick it up and absentmindedly turn it around and around in your hands. Finally, you decide ‘fuck it’ and begin to open it.

It's a leather-bound sketchbook personalized with your initials and a decent set of graphite pencils to go with it. You open it up to check the paper quality and notice a loose note between the cover and first page.

_Dear Shithead,_

_I know you’re just going to fill this with that_

_shitty comic you insist on drawing but I thought_

_a nice sketch book might inspire you to draw something_

_that’s not a fucking assault to my eyeballs._

_Merry Christmas Fuckass._

_P.S. Fuckass is Karkat speak for Best Bro but_

_you probably already know that. =)_

You smile at the note before you even realize that you do. Man, Karkat would have sure ate his words if you had actually given him his present. You could have served that shit to him on a silver fucking platter. Compliments of Chef Strider, bro. You wish you could have seen his face... Only you didn’t give him his present soooo…. Fuck.

You crumble the note in your hand, the smile now gone from your face, and toss the book and pencils into your pile. Part of you wants to run down stairs and give Karkat the gift you have for him and apologize. Tell him you were wrong and an asshole and that you want things to go back to the way they were, that he’s still your best fucking friend… but the other part of you tramples those urges down. Whispers to you in a voice that sounds suspiciously like your Bro’s…. Karkat likes dudes and you’re a dude and now that you look back on it, a lot of the shit you’ve done with him these past months is super fucking gay. Like ass-less chaps at the gay rodeo gay. It doesn’t matter that he’s fucking sauce pan, skillet, whatever-the-fuck sexual. He should have fucking told you! You wouldn’t have cared but you could have at least not done all that touchy-feely bullshit with him.

Oh god, everyone around you probably thought you two were fucking or some shit. No wonder Terezi and Sollux were always making comments about you and Karkat liking each other. You thought they were fucking around but apparently you’re just an oblivious dumbass. And John…fuck, even his first assumption was that you and Karkat were together and he, of all people, should know better. The two of you have been lambasting motherfuckers left and right for doing gay shit for years and yet he still thought you were homo for Karkat. What kind of fruity, fairy vibes are you putting out? Well according to Rose a whole fucking lot. But she’s not being serious right? You and Rose have always made fun of each other for being gay. Neither of you actually are.

“Is this a private soliloquy or would you mind an audience? I do so love getting to hear your thoughts about me when you don’t realize you’re saying them out loud,” Rose says behind you, making you jump.

“Fuck Rose. Out of all the fucking things you could have inherited from Bro, did you have to get his fucking penchant for sneaking around quiet as fuck?” you snap at her, shoving Karkat’s note into the pocket of your hoodie.

“I think we’ll both agree there are far worse things I could have inherited from him. I don’t do it on purpose though,” she says and sits down behind you, pressing her back against yours. It makes you relax instantly. You’ve been sitting this way with her since you were little, your sad attempt at keeping a combined eye out for your parent’s approach. One of the hardest parts of your parent’s separation was no longer having Rose to literally watch your back.

“So that certainly was an interesting Christmas. Peaceful. Pleasant. Genuine. I didn’t know people actually enjoyed Holidays like this, outside of cheesy sitcoms and movies that is,” she says.

“Yeah. Who know our parent’s tradition of making holidays as horrible as possible wasn’t the norm,” you say back.

“Hhhmmm, indeed,” she hums back at you. “I see you forgot to take Karkat’s gift downstairs this morning.”

You snort. “Yup, forgot. Forgot that shit like it was Dr. Dre. Eminem’s gonna be writing a rap about it soon.”

“I don’ know why he’d need to. We have our own self-proclaimed rap god right here who would know far more about Karkat’s present than dear Marshal.”

“Are you finally admitting to my musical expertise?”

“I feel like the bigger argument here is whether rap can be considered music,” she shoots back and you snort in response. The two of you lapse into silence for a few beats before Rose speaks again.

“Dave, what’s going on with you?”

“Oh you know, just the usual. School, work, taking care of our little brother so our hyper masculine, sociopathic father doesn’t get his hands back on him. Typical 19 year old shit.”

“While I’d love to dive deeper into that train of thought, you know I’m talking about how you’ve been acting since finding out about Karkat’s sexuality. I don’t think you’re being fair to him”

“Oh god, are we seriously talking about this again,” you say and rub at your face.

“It’s obviously still bothering you. I think it may do you good to talk about it. I even promise I’ll keep my snarky comments to a minimum.”

“So you’re just like not going to talk then? Because every word out of your mouth is a snarky comment.”

Rose leans slightly forward and then slams back against your back in retaliation. “Insufferable prick.”

“Flighty broad,” you say and slam back against her as well.

“So, are you ready to tell me why you’re so bothered that Karkat likes guys?”

“Rose. It’s just … fuck… he should have told me, alright?”

“Why should it make any difference? Would it have changed how you see him? Your friendship with him?”

“No… I just wouldn’t have been so.. touchy with him I guess.”

“Why not?

“Because Rose! He’s gay. I fucking slept in the same bed with him! I laid on his god damn leg. We practically fucking held hands falling asleep and a bunch of other faggoty shit too! And he never fucking told me he likes guys! I never would have done any of that shit had I known. Oh my god, I can only imagine what other people thought about us.”

“Oh, I see. So Karkat was just taking advantage of you then? Letting your naïve heterosexuality allow him to get close to you so that he could perform perfectly innocent, yet clearly homosexual acts of friendship and caring with you. How dare he.”

“Rose, you don’t fucking understand. You’ve been here a couple damn days. You don’t know everything, okay?”

“I’m just saying, Karkat doesn’t strike me as someone who would purposefully take advantage of you in anyway Dave. He genuinely cares about you and Dirk. Has helped you out and been there for you beyond the capacity of what most people would ever do. Do you really think he purposefully hid his sexuality from you? Do you really think it’s fair for you to judge him so harshly for said sexuality? To treat him as some sort of pariah for something he can’t change or help?”

You don’t respond and just shake your head instead. Rose doesn’t know. She hasn’t had to ever deal with shit like this. You’re not mad at Karkat for being gay, you’re mad at him because… fucking because … he should have told you, god dammit…

“You know I’m a lesbian right Dave?”

“What?!” you say and whip around to look at her. She turns and stares back at you very seriously.

“I’m attracted solely to women.”

“This isn’t really a great time to joke about something like that Rose. I’m sure there’s some underlying fucking irony here that I’m not seeing but it’s still pretty shitty timing yo.”

“Dave, I promise you I am being 100 percent real with you right now. I know we’ve made it a joke in the past but I don’t think I realized that you thought it was truly only a joke and I’m sorry for that. I am seriously a lesbian.”

“Oh… I mean, it’s cool. I’m fine with it if that’s what your wondering. It’s not the same as the whole Karkat thing or whatever.”

“How is it any different?”

“Because you’re my sister.. and a girl, so it’s like not as bad. Lesbians are hot, dude.”

“Careful. You’re slipping dangerously close to Freudian territory there dear brother.”

“You know what I mean Rose.”

“I do and frankly it’s incredibly insulting.”

“How?”

“You’re trivializing my sexuality Dave. Limiting it to being ok because it’s a popular fetish among straight men as long as the two participants are quote un quote *hot*. I’m waiting for you to tell me that its probably just a phase and that I haven’t met the right man yet because how, oh how, could a woman ever get off with out a dick being present?”

“No! Rose, god dammit! No. That’s not what I think. At all. I swear!

“Dave, relax. Look, you’ve said a lot of messed up, very insulting, close minded things these past few days but I think deep down you realize you’re wrong. I know you use humor and anger to cover up issues about yourself that you don’t want to address and I’m sorry you feel you have to do that. You unfortunately grew up under the influence of our masculinity obsessed father and I can not imagine how damaging that was on the basis of his bullshit views alone, not to mention the multitude of other things you suffered through. But his views are biased and wrong and I think you know that. I could even argue that his rampant admiration of masculinity is gay in and of itself but I’m not going to get into that right now,” she says, pausing for a moment and shaking her head. “Do you know why he and mother split up?”

“Uh. Cuz they’re both assholes and couldn’t stand being around each other anymore?” you offer.

Rose snorts, “Well I can’t argue that one, but the actual cause of their divorce was the affair that mother had. With a woman.”

“What? How do you know that?” you ask, genuinely surprised because seriously what the fuck?

“Because unfortunately I’ve been the unwilling audience to more of Mother’s drunk ramblings over the years then I’d ever like to admit and her divorce from Father was one of her favorite topics.”

“Oh. Shit, Rose. I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok. They don’t affect me like they used to. My point with telling you that charming revelation is that I believe Father has always been blatantly homophobic in his beliefs but I think Mother’s betrayal sent him over the edge. I’m sure it influenced how he raised you and I hope you’ll take that into account if you decide to question your own homosexual…… views.”

“Oh,” you say, choosing to ignore her allusion to your own sexuality because that was a lot to take in.

“I just want you to know that I love you Dave. No matter what, I love you and I respect you. The things you’ve been through and the things you’ve done to keep Dirk safe, anyone would find admirable. You’re a good, good fucking person and who you choose to love doesn’t change that. I still think you’re being an unfair asshole right now but I still love you and I always will.”

“I….” you start but don’t continue. Rose grabs your hand and squeezes it, letting you know you don’t need to say anything. You can handle Rose at her wittiest and snarkiest but genuine, loving sister Rose is a little harder for you to process. Rose is as discomforted by affection as you are and only holds your hand a few more moments before she lets go and stands up.

“Alright my dear brother, I’m going to go find our other siblings and see what sort of havoc they’re wreaking. Roxy won’t leave that poor, old dog alone and I think Dirk is still waging war on the Egbert children.”

“Later Rose and uh… I love you too,” you mumble at her. She smiles and gives you a small wave as she leaves the room.

You stand up and walk over to where Karkat’s present is still lying unopened on Dirk’s dresser. You stare at it for several long moments, debating with yourself. You finally give up and grab it and shove it onto the top shelf of Dirk’s closet, along with Karkat's now crumbled note. You don’t want to chance either of the kids opening it. You flop down onto the bed belly first and tuck your head into your crossed arms. Thanks to Rose, you have a lot to fucking think about now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as always, thanks for reading and hope everyone enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> If you're wondering, the book that Karkat reads to the kids actually exists lol
> 
> Thank you for all of the continued support and kudos and comments (even if I don't respond, they are really f-in appreciated. I just don't know what to say sometimes ;) )


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys so first off, the super, incredibly talented [PapayaParty](http://thedoublepp.tumblr.com/) illustrated some beautiful [art ](http://thedoublepp.tumblr.com/post/168239101381/you-dont-notice-when-jake-becomes-bored-with-the/) for chapter 20 of this fic. It's the Dirk/Jake scene from snowtown and I highly recommend checking it out because it's cute af! also you should check out the rest of her stuff as well because seriously, shes got skills and you won't be disappointed =)  
> Also, she should be credited with me finishing this chapter as quickly as I did because I've been stressing over whether the Dave n Rose convo from last chapter came across how I wanted it to and I would definitely not have put out another chapter anytime soon but her art work inspired me lol  
> Annnnddd, I dedicate the dirk/jake/roxy/jane scenes in this chapter to her because I 100% did not intend to write them but I wanted to include a couple cute scenes as a way to say thank you ;)
> 
> Anyways, sorry if that was a lot but HOLY SHIT! I still can't believe someone took the time to draw something for this. That's like the greatest compliment and I'm still excited about it as I'm sure yall can tell

Dave had left the living room almost as soon as everyone had finished opening their presents. It pisses you off. He could have at least stayed and helped clean up all the wrapping paper scattered everywhere instead of leaving it for everyone else to do. Inconsiderate, lazy fuck. (You’re definitely only mad that he didn’t stay to help, not because you may have been hoping for a chance to sneak your unopened present from his pile.)

You and Rose work together on cleaning up, leaving the kids to play and the older adults to just enjoy watching the children play with their new toys. John has fallen back asleep on the couch and you make it a point to knock into his legs anytime you walk past him while picking up. You notice that Rose does the same thing and it makes you smile. As soon as all the paper and boxes are cleaned up, she heads upstairs. As much as you want to retreat to your room, you decide to stay for a while and play with the kids.

The four of them are sitting together in a tight circle but Roxy and Jake scoot over to make room for you when you come over. Dirk has opened the animal robotic kit you bought for him and it’s contents are splayed on the floor within the circle of kids. Dirk is organizing the different mechanical parts and Roxy is lining up the included tools from smallest to biggest. Jane is reading the directions out loud but neither Dirk or Roxy seem concerned with them, quietly discussing their own strategy amongst themselves. Jake’s studying the box and looks up when a question pops into his mind.

“Can we wrestle with these robots?” he asks.

“No, you’d break them,” Dirks responds and Jake’s face falls. “But a wrestling robot would be soooo cool dude. Maybe you can help me build one someday,” he offers. Jake brightens back up and him and Dirk smile at each other.

“Boy howdy, that sounds like a capital idea Dirk!” he says and you have to stop yourself from facepalming at his wording. Roxy giggles next to you and leans over and whispers “neerrddds” just loud enough for only you to hear. You can’t suppress your laugh and Roxy, pleased with your response, goes back to organizing the tools, now happily humming to herself. You stay with the kids for a little while longer in case they need help putting the robot together. It doesn’t take to you long to realize that they’ve got that shit on lock though and you decide to finally head up to your room. You waste no time sending a message to Kanaya.

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering  grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

CG: HEY  


GA: Hello Karkat Did You Have A Pleasant Holiday  


CG: MOSTLY. SOME SHIT SUCKED, I GUESS…  


GA: Im Sorry To Hear That Whats Going On If You Dont Mind My Asking  


CG: NOTHING MAJOR. DAVE IS JUST BEING KIND OF A DOUCHE.  


GA: I Thought Dave Is Always Kind Of A Douche Though  


CG: (HAHA, THANKS I NEEDED THAT LAUGH) AND HE IS, BUT USUALLY HE’S AT LEAST AN ENDEARING DOUCHE. NOW HE’S JUST BEING A FULL-ON ASSHOLE DOUCHE. WE’RE NOT EVEN TALKING TO EACH OTHER RIGHT NOW.  


GA: Oh I Must Say That Is Surprising The Two Of You Had Seemed To Have Grown Quite Close Lately What Brought This About  


CG: WE DID! WELL, I THOUGHT WE HAD ANYWAY….. HE FOUND OUT I’M PAN, NOT THAT IT’S A SECRET OR ANYTHING, BUT HE FREAKED THE FUCK OUT. HE’S BEEN PRETTY MUCH IGNORING ME EVER SINCE AND SAID HE NEEDS TIME TO PROCESS IT. I DON’T KNOW KANAYA, I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING TOLD HIM OR MAYBE JUST DID SOMETHING DIFFERENT BUT EITHER WAY, IT FUCKING SUCKS. I HATE NOT TALKING TO HIM..  


GA: Karkat Im Sorry But That Is Such Bullshit Its Not Your Fault Daves Being A Complete Asshole You Dont Have To Explain Your Sexuality To Him Or Anyone Else Unless You Choose To And If Dave Has An Issue With That Then Thats One Hundred Percent His Problem Karkat Not Yours  


CG: EH, MAYBE. YOU DON’T KNOW THE WHOLE STORY THOUGH KANAYA. I DON’T THINK I’M COMPLETELY BLAMELESS HERE.  


GA: Dont Make Me Come Over There And Knock Some Sense Into You Karkat I Will Do It Don’t Doubt Me  


CG: TRUST ME, I DON’T. I WAS ACTUALLY GOING TO ASK IF I COULD COME OVER AND HANG OUT WITH YOU TODAY? I COULD USE A BREAK FROM EVERYTHING.  


GA: Of Course Youre Always Welcome Here But I Should Warn You That Vriska Is Here As Well She Doesn’t Celebrate The Holidays Either  


CG: WELL FUCK. MAYBE I’LL JUST STAY HERE THEN. I THINK DEALING WITH VRISKA MIGHT BE MORE EXHAUSTING THAT DEALING WITH DAVE.  


GA: I Cant Argue That One Would You Like Me To Come To You Instead  


CG: FUCK YES! THAT WOULD BE SO FUCKING GREAT KANAYA.  


GA: Okay Give Me About An Hour Or So  


CG: OKAY. THANKS.  


GA: Anything For A Friend Ill See You Soon  


CG: SEE YOU SOON.  


carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering  grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

 

You close out of your messenger and breathe a sigh of relief. Fuck yes. You’ll be able to deal with shit so much easier with someone here that is solely on your side. Not that anyone’s against you or anything, but Rose, John and even Ms. Harley all have their own loyalties to Dave. Kanaya and Dave have had very little interactions and she is 100% your friend over Dave’s. It may be petty but you don’t give a shit right now. You fuck around in your room or awhile, mostly cleaning it up so that it’s nice for Kanaya. It’s almost exactly an hour later when you here the doorbell ring and you head downstairs to answer it.

You let her inside and she hugs you immediately. You let yourself enjoy it for a moment before you pull away and lead her farther into the living room and to the couch. It’s empty now and from the voices you can faintly hear, it sounds as if almost everyone is out in the back yard. Kanaya sits down next you and you proceed to unload the full hilt of your emotional baggage onto her. You feel sort of guilty for that but Kanaya never once looks irritated and instead listens intently to you and adds her input whenever needed. She makes it a point to assure you that you’re not a fault and although you don’t entirely agree with her, it’s still nice to hear.

You’ve finished filling Kanaya in on the bullshit of the last week or so and are asking her how her break has been so far when you both hear a noise from the top of the stairs. You and Kanaya both turn to look and you see Rose descending, now about halfway down. She stops for a second when she notices both of you looking at her and stares at Kanaya in particular.

“Oh, hello,” she says and starts walking down the stairs again. She makes it one step before her foot slips and she tumbles the rest of the way down on her ass. You and Kanaya both stand and rush over to help her up and make sure shes okay.

“Oh dear. Are you alright?” Kanaya asks upon reaching her and offers her a hand up.

“Yes, yes. I’m fine,” Rose responds, brushing Kanaya’s offered hand away. “I just like to make an entrance is all.” She stands and straightens her skirt and smooths her hair back down. Her face is bright red and if you didn’t know any better you’d think Lalonde was flustered.

“Well you’ve certainly made an impression on me,” Kanaya says smiling and Rose flushes an even deeper red.

“Yes, well…. I’m so glad I could be your entertainment for the day. Perhaps later you can watch while I stroke my writing journals and mutter ‘My precious’,” Rose says, completely deadpan.

“Um…” Kanaya says and glances over at you, obviously not knowing how to respond. You’re pretty sure you know what’s happening here, if nothing else you can tell Kanaya is interested, so you decide to intervene.

“Kanaya, this is Dave’s sister, Rose. Fair warning, she has the same sense of humor as Dave, only snarkier, so don’t take what she says too seriously. Rose, this is Kanaya, one of my best friends, so don’t be a compete asshole to her, okay?”

“I don’t know where you would have ever conceived the idea that I’m an asshole, Karkat. I am frankly offended to my very core,” Rose sasses at you as she walks over to one of the chairs and flops down. You look at Kanaya to shrug but she has her eyes on Rose still, a small smile ghosting her lips. Yep, you were definitely right about her interest being peaked.

You head back to your spot on the couch and Kanaya follows. The three of you chat back and forth for a while. Although the chatting mostly consists of Rose being a cagey asshole and Kanaya trying to figure her out. You’re honestly relieved when you hear the backdoor open and 4 sets of little feet plod in. Seconds later the kids file into the living room to remove their coats and boots. You notice that Dirk freezes up when he notices Kanaya, not sure where to go with a stranger in the house.

Rose must notice too because she stands up and goes over to help him out and brings him back to the chair to sit with her, speaking soothingly to him the entire time. The other three kids join you on the couch and Roxy squeezes herself in between you and Kanaya.

“Hi, I’m Roxy. What’s your name?” she asks, staring up at Kanaya, who smiles down at her.

“My name’s Kanaya. I’m a friend of Karkat and Dave’s. It’s nice to meet you Roxy.”

“Whoa! Dave sure has some pretty friends,” Roxy says looking between you and Kanaya.

Kanaya laughs, “Well, Dave sure has some pretty sisters too.”

“Rose, she thinks were pretty!” Roxy excitedly shouts to her sister. “Don’t you think she’s pretty too, Rose?”

Rose’s face flushes again and she doesn’t answer, so Roxy does it for her. “She thinks you’re pretty Kanaya. I can tell. She only turns bright red like that when she likes someone.”

“ROXY!!!” Rose exclaims, glaring at her sister. Roxy just giggles and jumps up and runs for the stairs. Dirk scrambles from Rose’s lap and follows after her and after a moment, Jane and Jake do the same.

Kanaya has her hand covering her mouth and you’re biting your lip, Rose looks down right mortified and neither of you want to add to it by laughing.

“I… She..” Lalonde stammers out before she stands up and straightens her skirt again. “She’s just being facetious. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and find my brother. It was a pleasure meeting you Kanaya.”

Rose primly heads for the stairs and she makes it all the way up without falling, so that’s a plus you think. Kanaya turns to look at you after Rose is no longer in sight and you both quietly let out the giggles you had been holding in.

“I think you should go for it,” you tell her.

“I just might,” she says demurely and then stealthily shifts the conversation to another topic.

\---

Later that night, Rose joins you, John and Kanaya in your room. Dave is conveniently absent again, although even if he wasn’t avoiding you, Kanaya’s icy treatment of him earlier would have probably been enough to keep him away. You don’t care. You don’t. You try to keep focused on the video game that you’re currently kicking John’s ass at so that your thoughts stay away from Dave’s absence.

Rose had composed herself from earlier, apparently choosing to pretend it didn’t happen and her and Kanaya had lapsed into easy conversation almost the instant Rose came into your room. They’re discussing the current President’s misogynistic views and you have several things you could add to their conversation but you decide to stay out of it and let them just enjoy the excitement of getting to know one another.

After thoroughly getting his ass handed to him several games in a row, John stands up and loudly announces he’s ready for bed. Rose and Kanaya both look disappointed but Rose stands up, presumably to leave.

“Well good night then,” she says. “It was incredibly enlightening talking with you Kanaya. I hope we’ll get another chance.”

“You can sleep in here if you want, Rose,” you interject before Kanaya can respond. “I’ll sleep on the floor and you and Kanaya can share the bed.”

Rose looks at the bed and then at Kanaya who’s still sitting on it cross legged. Her face flushes again and she starts smoothing her skirt. Who would have known Lalonde has nervous habits?

“I.. That would be nice.. but.. I should probably check on my siblings. Roxy’s been complaining that I haven’t been sleeping in the room with them. Thanks for the offer though Karkat. Good night everyone.”

Rose shoots out of the room as quickly as possible and you and Kanaya smile at one another again. John doesn’t seem to notice anything and has already sprawled himself out on the couch. You let Kanaya know that you can still sleep on the floor if she prefers to have the bed to herself but she assures you that she doesn’t mind sharing the bed. You still make sure to give her a good amount of space though.

Kanaya apparently can fall asleep just as easily as John and it’s not long before you’re the only one left awake. You lay there for a while, trying to will your body to just go the fuck to sleep but your efforts are useless and John’s fucking snoring is not helping the situation. You finally can’t fucking take it anymore and decide to go downstairs and watch some TV. You put on one of your favorite movies and settle in on the couch. You’re about 20 minutes in when you here someone clear their throat behind you and you turn to see Dave standing there.

“Hey,” he says.

“Hey.”

“Uh, is it ok if I watch with you?” he asks.

“Knock yourself out,” you stonily reply. You’re tired and grouchy and 100% not in the mood to deal with his bullshit right now.

Dave nods slightly and comes around the couch to sit down. He seems to debate with himself for a moment about where to sit but ultimately chooses the opposite end of the couch, no surprise there. He’s obviously uncomfortable and starts fidgeting almost immediately. Dave’s fidgeting isn’t all that noticeable and to most people he would seem perfectly calm but you definitely notice. He’s leg is slightly bouncing and his fingers tap out a small beat that only he can hear. You let it go for about 15 minutes, hoping that he’ll just fucking relax but he doesn’t. It’s driving you crazy and is almost as distracting as John’s god damn snoring. You’re almost at your breaking point and are preparing to tell him to fucking stop when Dave speaks.

“Uh, hey Karkat?”

“What?” you snap, your voice much more harsh than you intended because you had been preparing to yell at him. Dave freezes up instantly at the sound of it.

“Uh.. n-nothing.. I just… I’m…g-going to go to bed.. night,” he stutters out and runs upstairs before you even get a chance to respond. You spend the rest of the night wondering what he had been about to say and hating yourself for not giving him the chance to say it.

\---

Kanaya ends up staying two more nights. She spends a lot of her time with Rose but it’s still nice just knowing she’s around if you need her. Not much happens aside from the same old bullshit. On the 28th she goes home and you go with her since Terezi is coming back home that day. You end up spending most of your time at their place up until New Year’s Eve. You tell yourself that you’re just doing it so that you can help Terezi and the girls get ready for the party but really, you’re being a coward and avoiding Dave. Not to mention the fact that you feel like an interloper, you’re sure that the Egbert/Harley’s and Strider/Lalonde’s are happy that they get to spend sometime together without you hanging around. You’re doing everyone a favor.

Terezi makes sure to let you know that she’s invited Dave and John, and that Kanaya made it a point to personally invite Rose and that they’ll all be coming. That’s cool. That’s fine. You figured they’d be coming anyway. You’ll just avoid Dave as best as you can.

Regardless of what you tell yourself, you still find yourself watching the door the night of the party. Both hoping and dreading that each new guest will be Dave. You’re sitting on the couch talking with Nepeta and Sollux but you can’t stop yourself from glancing at the door every time it opens.

“Oh my god KK. Could you be more of a desperate asshole? You said this wasn’t going to another John situation.”

“Fuck off Sollux, it’s not anything like my stupid crush on John and I’m not doing anything so go fuck yourself.”

“That’s bullshit. You whip around anytime the door opens, like a love-sick puppy. You’re not fooling anyone KK,” Sollux retorts and you just glare down at the floor. “I don’t even know why you care if he’s here or not, he’s been a complete dick to you.”

“Can we not fucking do this right now?” you plead and you and Sollux just glare at each other for a few moments.

“I’m just saying, you deserve better than that KK.”

“Well that just fucking great,” you say and stand up from the couch. “because Dave doesn’t fucking like guys so I guess we don’t need to worry about what I do or do not deserve.”

“Karkat –“ Nepeta starts to say but you wave a dismissive hand and walk away. You head towards the kitchen where you know the booze is stocked. Terezi is in there as well and you ask her to make you a drink, not caring what it is. You can always count on her to make drinks way too strong and she doesn’t disappoint this time. You gulp it down in two swift drinks. She offers to mix you another one and you accept but you plan on drinking this one a little slower. Terezi’s already pretty fucked up and normally you would tell her to slow down some but you intend on doing the same thing so who are you to judge?

You head out of the kitchen and go and find Kanaya. She’s talking to Vriska and they provide you the distraction that you need. You keep pulling out your phone to check the time and it’s already past ten. Where the fuck are they?

“If you’re wondering, Rose texted to say they’ll be here soon. They had a hard time putting the kids to sleep,” Kanaya says after you check your phone for the 6th time.

“I don’t give a shit,” you lie and it sounds weak even to your own ears. Vriska smirks at you and you brace yourself as she opens her mouth to say something but she’s interrupted when the door opens again. It’s John, Rose and Dave. Final-fucking-ly. Whatever Vriska had been about to say gets forgotten when she sees John.

“Who’s that?” she asks.

“That’s Dave and his sister Rose,” you tell her.

“Not them,” she gripes. “God, not everything’s about Dave, Karkat. I’m talking about the cutie with glasses.”

“Fuck you Vriska. You can find out who he is on your own now,” you snap back at her.

“Ha, I will. Later losers,” she says and starts towards the front door before she stops and turns back towards you. “Oh, hey Karkat, maybe you should pay attention to how I do it so you can see how to actually win over a guy.”

She trounces off again before you can respond and you start after her intending to tell her where she can shove it. You’re stopped by a hand on your shoulder and you look up to see Kanaya.

“She’s trying to upset you Karkat, don’t let her bother you,” she says and you know she’s right but that still doesn’t stop you from seething over Vriska’s comment. You stay by Kanaya’s side though and a moment later Rose and Dave approach you, greeting you both with a polite ‘Hello’ and a stupid ‘Sup’. Kanaya greets them back but you opt to suck down the rest of your drink in place of a ‘Hello’.

“Oh dammit, it looks like I need another drink,” you say and start back towards the kitchen, patting yourself on the back for giving yourself an excuse to fuck off.

“Oh. We could use a drink as well, would you mind showing us the way?” Rose asks, ruining your moment of triumph. Rose hasn’t done anything to really warrant your contempt though so you respond and tell them to follow you.

Kanaya latches onto Rose’s arm and they and Dave follow you into the kitchen. Terezi’s still hanging out in there, surrounded by a few people that you don’t know. Rose goes straight to the alcohol and starts making 4 drinks and holy shit, her alcohol content might actually rival Terezi’s. When Terezi notices your group come in, she excuses herself and comes over to greet the newcomers.

“Hey cool kid, you’re looking as handsome as ever,” she says to Dave and presses herself against Dave’s side for hug.

“Thanks TZ, you’re looking pretty rad yourself,” Dave says back and snakes an arm around her waist to return her hug.

You look away. You know that look on Terezi’s face, you’ve seen it enough times yourself. She’s interested in Dave. You can’t really feel betrayed by it because even though you’ve told her about Dave’s reaction to finding out you’re pan, you reassured her again and again that you did *not* have a crush on him. That you only like him as a friend and were only hurt from a friendship point of view. Sollux may not have bought that bullshit but Terezi apparently did because you know she wouldn’t make a move otherwise. And fuck, Dave’s talked about how ‘hot’ Terezi is on more than one occasion. You have no doubt that they’ll hook up tonight.

You grab one of the drinks that Rose is now done mixing and get the fuck out of the kitchen as quick as you can. You search out Sollux again and although he gives you a knowing look he doesn’t say anything else about Strider. You really are a pathetic asshole and stick by his side most of the night. You halfheartedly dance through a few songs with Nep, Kanaya and even Rose but Terezi and Dave have been dancing together the entire night and it ruins your mood.

When it gets close to midnight everyone crowds into a big group in the living room to count down together. Most people pair up so that they can share a kiss at the stroke of midnight and you can’t help but search for Dave in the crwod. When you finally spot him, you’re surprised to find that he’s staring at you too. You hold each other’s gaze until the actually count down starts… 10…..9….. and your stomach drops when Dave starts toward you… 8..…7..…6…..5…you don’t even get a chance to process what you’re feeling though when Terezi grabs Dave’s arm and turns him back toward her…4…..3…..2…..Terezi pulls Dave’s face down to meet her own and you turn away before you actually see them kiss… 1… You feel an arm around your shoulder and you look up to see Sollux standing next to you. He leans down and kisses your cheek at the count of one and whispers ‘Fuck him, KK’ into your ear.

You nod at him, appreciating his effort even though you still feel like shit. You give Sollux a fist bump and go off to find another drink. You spend the next hour wandering aimlessly around the house and getting pretty fucking trashed. You apparently aren’t the only one though, as you find Rose throwing up in the upstairs bathroom and Kanaya holding her hair back as she does so. You quietly ask Kanaya if they need any help but she just shakes her head no and motions for you to close the door.

You decide to head back downstairs again and maybe find Sollux or Nepeta. When you reach the bottom, you notice an empty space on the couch and decide to sit down for a while since you’re feeling a little woozy from the booze. As you’re sitting there, you see Terezi pull Dave away from dancing and she leads him up the same stairway that you just came down. You’re not stupid, you know what they’re going up there to do. You just wished you hadn’t seen it happen and you’re glad your sitting because you feel like you’re going to be sick.

You take a few minutes to try to get yourself back under control. You rest your elbows on your knees and bring your hands up to support your head as you take in several deep breaths. Fuck. You’re ok. It’s fine. It’s not like you ever had any fucking chance with Dave anyway. Fucking…. Ugh, fuck this.

You stand up from the couch and head back into the kitchen for another drink because calming yourself down isn’t fucking working so more alcohol is obviously the next best solution, right? You can barely pour yourself a drink because your hands are shaking so bad but you finally manage. You grab your drink and lean against the wall that’s right to the left of the kitchen cabinets. You take a big gulp and close your eyes and try to focus on your breathing again.

You only open them when you feel someone enter your personal space and you look up to see Dave standing right in front of you. He stretches out an arm and rests his hand against the wall near your head, making you almost feel boxed in. You can smell the alcohol on his breath before he even speaks and your sure that yours is probably just as bad.

“Hey,” he says.

“What? You and Terezi are finished already? I figured you wouldn’t last long but damn Strider, this must be a new record,” you snap at him and set your drink onto the counter next to you, hoping that Dave won't notice how much you're still shaking. He stares at you, obviously confused before he realizes what you mean. His hand drops from the wall and he starts shaking his head.

“We didn’t.. I don’t… I wouldn’t do that to you dude, I swear. I went up to her room but nothing happened, you can ask her.”

“What? Why? Is she not good enough for you or something?” you demand because even though you may have been jealous, Terezi’s still one of your best friends and you know she doesn’t take rejection well.

“Dude! No! It’s just I... that I..”

You’re glaring at him expectantly, waiting for him to get to his god damn point, when he leans in closer and presses his lips to yours. It takes you completely by surprise and you’re able to just enjoy it, to respond before your brain even processes what’s happening. His hand comes up to cup the side of your face and you press in closer to him as he does so. Even overpowered by alcohol, Dave still tastes amazing and kissing him is everything you had imagined it would be. He pulls away too soon, ending the kiss. His hand stays holding your cheek for a moment longer and he caresses his thumb across your cheek bone before he lets his hand drop.

“Why… why did you do that?” you stammer out, still slightly breathless from the kiss.

“I … I..” Dave starts and then shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know dude. I mean you’re gay, I thought you’d like it.”

You stare at him incredulously. Is he fucking serious? Is he seriously fucking serious right now?! You see red as you push him away from you. He stumbles only a few feet and looks at you surprised, apparently completely clueless to what an asshole he’s being.

“Fuck you, Strider. FUCK YOU! You’re such an ignorant fucking asshole. I can’t even believe the bullshit that comes out of your mouth.” You yell at him. You throw up your hands up in defeat and let out a completely humorless laugh. “But hey at least you’d be making your piece of shit Bro proud right now with how *not* gay you are, right?!”

You don’t miss the hurt look that crosses his face as you push past him and head towards the front door and you’re so pissed that you really don’t care. You grab you coat and you toss one look back over your shoulder before you open the door to leave. You can just barely see Dave where he’s still standing in the kitchen. He hasn’t moved, his arms still hanging loosely at his sides. Without hesitation you exit the house and head towards home, wanting nothing more than to be as far away from Dave Fucking Strider as possible right now. What a great start to the new year, you think as you head down the sidewalk and into the black, cold and lonely night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God dammit Dave!! Seriously though, I just have always pictured Dave making a disaster of things before they get better and I love writing about it XD He's trying. 
> 
> Also, I think there's only going to be like 10 or so more chapters for this story. Maybe a little more or less ( my outline is pretty much useless at this point)
> 
> As always, thanks for reading!


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So since that last chapter was such a clusterfuck of enjoyment, here it is again but from Dave's POV >=] 
> 
> TWs this chapter for gay negativity, mentions of sex and porn, and vomiting 
> 
> Also, [Dark Ink Lover](http://darkinklover.tumblr.com/) made some really adorable and awesome [fan art](http://darkinklover.tumblr.com/post/168611917157/i-just-read-book-covers-by-nuwanda717-and-oh-boi) of Dave, Karkat and Dirk that you should all go check out because it rocks and I love it!!!

You spend a good portion of the remainder of Christmas day in Dirk’s room thinking about the shit Rose had said. Fuck, that was a lot to take in but it gets you thinking, which honestly kind of sucks. Are you …are you being… homophobic? Like shit, man. You don’t… you just… fuck. Does Karkat think you’re just mad at him for liking guys? That’s not it though. You’re just pissed that he didn’t tell you because you don’t want anyone think that *you* like dudes. That’s it. It’s not wrong to be upset about that right? Rose said you weren’t being fair to him though, so like… maybe it is?...................... Shit. Yeah it’s actually kind of really fucked up if you think about it. God fucking dammit.

Karkat’s your best bro and you’ve been a complete fucking asshole to him and probably made him feel like shit. God, you suck…..You just don’t suck dicks. And you should probably let Karkat know all this. That you’re not mad at him for being gay and also that _you_ are _definitely_ not gay and that you’re sorry for being a jerk and you should probably thank him for the Christmas gift too. Yeah. Yeah that’s a good plan. Let him know that you’re perfectly fine with gay people. Hell, apparently even your sister is a lesbian so of course you’re totally cool with it.

You go downstairs that evening with the intention of having a talk with Karkat and follow his loud as fuck voice into the dining room and sure enough, he’s in there sitting at the table. You’re surprised to see Kanaya sitting next to him and even more so at the very threatening glare that she shoots in your direction. Fuck, Karkat’s probably filled her in on what a dick you’ve been. That’s great. Apparently you’ve made it to the top tier of everyone’s asshole list. Great job, Dave.

You’re not going to lie, Kanaya is kind of scary and since you’re obviously not her favorite person right now, you decide to fuck off and just talk to Karkat some other time. Like when Kanaya’s not around and glaring daggers at you. You grab a couple snacks and retreat back up to the safety of Dirk’s room for the rest of the evening.

You get your chance to talk to Karkat later that same night. It’s pretty late when you hear his bedroom door open and his subsequent footsteps heading down the stairs. He must not be able to sleep, no surprise there. After giving yourself a small pep talk you get up enough courage to follow after him. You find him in the living room, sitting on the couch and watching one of his cheesy fucking romcoms. You roll your eyes before you clear your throat to get his attention. He turns and looks at you and you notice that his usual pleasure at seeing you isn’t there. He just looks… tired.

“Hey,” you say and he responds in kind. You ask if it’s ok if you join him and he says it’s fine. Kinda. His tone of voice is really fucking cold and you’re used to angry Karkat but this… this is something else. You debate with yourself for a second on where to sit or whether you even should sit for that matter. Normally you’d just plop down as close to him as possible but you kind of fucking ruined that option and he’d probably be really fucking pissed if you even tried it and now that you know that he’s gay you shouldn’t want to do that anyway and you can’t really leave because you just asked to stay and you need to apologize anyway…. so you chicken out and sit on the opposite end of the couch.

You sit there in complete silence with him for what feels like forever. Well, obviously not *complete* silence because of the movie but it might as well be because you can’t hear shit with the loud as fuck pounding in your ears. You’re trying to calm yourself down so you can say sorry and get go the fuck back upstairs but Karkat’s sitting completely fucking still and not talking to you or looking at you and everything feels wrong.

You realize you’re waiting for an attack because the stony silence reminds you of Bro and you have to force yourself to mentally take a step back. This isn’t Bro. This isn’t Houston. This is Karkat. And he’s your friend. You’re pissed off friend because you’re a dumbass, but still your friend. You’re safe. You’re okay and you can do this. You just need to tell him you’re sorry. It’s okay and you’re okay and it’s Karkat and he’s safe. You can do this. It takes you awhile but you finally man the fuck up and turn towards Karkat.

“Uh, hey Karkat?”

“What?” he barks out. Not very loudly but his voice sounds so fucking angry. You go right back into panic mode and you don’t care about anything else except getting the fuck out of there. Right. Fucking. Now.

“Uh.. n-nothing.. I just.. I’m … g-going to go to bed .. night ,” you stammer out in a rush and fuck off to Dirk’s room as quickly as possible without being completely obvious, at least you hope anyway. You can’t sleep the rest of the night because you can’t shake the impending doom feeling and you stay up so that you can watch over your siblings. You guess you’ll try to talk to Karkat tomorrow….

\---

You don’t get a chance to talk to Karkat the next day or the next day after that either. Kanaya’s apparently decided to move the fuck in because she has yet to go home and anytime you even attempt to talk to Karkat she’s there glaring you away. Like seriously, you don’t even know how she does it because she and Rose have been glued at the fucking hip and somehow, even when you think you’ve found Karkat alone, Kanaya seems to fucking materialize out of nowhere and stare you down until you fuck off.

After one such encounter, you head up to Dirk’s room just wanting to be alone. You stretch out on his bed and pull out your phone. Maybe you should text Karkat instead. That seems like a cop out though. As you’re debating with yourself, you hear Dirk and Roxy’s voices getting closer and they sound as if they’re arguing. The door flings open and Roxy, seeing you laying on the bed, runs in and flings herself onto your chest. Dirk’s right behind her and runs over to you as well but opts to just stand next to the bed.

“Dave, tell her she’s wrong!!!” he demands.

“Wrong about what little man?”

“She says she going to marry Kanaya AND Karkat someday.”

“I AM!!” Roxy shouts back at him.

“NO YOU”RE NOT!!” Dirk shouts back at her.

“Guys, hey. Chill,” you intervene and turn your attention to Dirk. “She can marry whoever she wants when she’s older dude.”

“She can marry Kanaya but not Karkat,” he stubbornly says back, even crossing his arms for effect.

“Dude, why do you care?” you question him.

“Cuz you’re going to marry Karkat,” he replies and glares at Roxy again. Uh, what?

“So? I can marry him too, dummy,” Roxy says.

“No you can’t!”

“Hey,” you interact again, “it doesn’t matter. Me and Karkat ain’t getting married.”

“Why?” they both say in unison and turn their attention to you.

“Uh.. Well..we’re both gays.. I mean guys!! We’re both guys…”

“So?” they both say at the same time again, looks of confusion on their faces. Uh… Fuck.

“I... don’t know. I guess guys.. don’t.. usually marry each other?” you hesitantly say.

“That’s stupid,” Dirk says.

“Yea,” Roxy agrees. “That’s really dumb, Dave.”

“Uh….” You don’t know how to answer because you don’t want them to think same sex marriage is wrong because it’s not! It’s just not..okay.. for you? Fuck. Shit. Fucking shit.

Roxy leans down and kisses you on your cheek. “It’s okay big bro, you don’t have to be embarrassed. If you want to marry Karkat someday I’ll let you have him, I guess.” Uh…

“Thanks, Rox,” you say and rumple her hair in response because even if you are having an internal crisis your little sister is still the sweetest thing ever. She smiles back at you and then hops off your chest and joins Dirk back on the floor. Dirk’s apparently satisfied with this outcome because he fist bumps you and the two of them run out of the room again. And uh… what just happened?

Why does everyone seem to think you and Karkat are in love? It has to be all the touchy, feely bullshit you guys did. Which is exactly why Karkat should have told you about being gay so that you could avoided all this awkward bs to begin with. God, this is so embarrassing…

But you realize that you don’t just feel embarrassed. When Dirk and Roxy said you and Karkat would get married someday it made you feel something else. Something else that you don’t like because you don’t know what the fuck it means. It made you feel really fucking excited... Like what the fuck? What does that mean? When they said that, your first reaction had been ‘fuck no’ but you also can’t deny the mental images that flashed in your head of you and Karkat getting married, living together, snuggled up on a couch and the sense of longing that came with them. Seriously, what the fuck?!!

Do you… want that type of shit with Karkat? No. You can’t. You’re not… you…you definitely like girls. Like that’s not a question. That’s a fucking universal constant right there but… could you.. maybe like guys too? Shit. No, no, no, no, no. You don’t want to ever fuck a guy or anything. I mean shit dude, you’ve looked at gay porn (just to see what it was of course) and it just made you either laugh or feel uncomfortable. You never like, jacked off to it or anything.

But you never really did the five knuckle shuffle to much of anything really. Not that you didn’t want to, but it wasn’t something you could do when there was the ever looming threat of Bro busting in to beat your ass no matter where you were or what time of day it was. Even if that hadn’t been the case though, you still wouldn’t have thought about dick. At least not by itself. Maybe only in the context of one having things done to it… by chicks only of course. And that’s ok. You kind of have to look at other dude’s dicks when you look at porn anyway. All dude’s check out what the other guy’s packing when the watch right? Yeah of course.And you wouldn’t ever think about Karkat or his dick while your spanking your monkey either.

You decide to make yourself imagine Karkat… sexually…. just so you can prove to yourself how not turned on by that you would be. Ok so…sexy Karkat….sexy Karkat…. Man see, you’re having a hard time even coming up with a sexual thought about him so that proves you’re not attracted to him. Psshhh, you were worried about nothing. Haha. Your mind suddenly does come up with something though and flashes to a scene of Karkat in front of you, on his knees, his shirt off and his eyes burning with intensity as they bore into you. He runs his hands up your thighs until he grasps your hips and pulls you toward him as he opens his mouth and--- FUCKKKK!!

You jump off the bed and start pacing around the room. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! AND WHY THE FUCK DID YOUR DICK START TO GET HARD INSTANTLY??!!! God fucking dammit. Holy fucking shit, god dammit. Bro would beat your ass if he fucking knew about this shit. Any self respecting dude would beat your ass if they knew. You’re supposed to be strong and manly and this shit.. this is.. fucking… and Bro… he would… fuck, you’re going to be sick.

You run to bathroom and sure enough you throw up. After you’ve finished you press your back against the wall and stay sitting on the bathroom floor. You cradle your face in your shaking hands and take a few deep breaths to try to calm down. What the fuck man. Does this mean… Does this mean… shit dude, you don’t even fucking know. You need to talk to someone but fuck that. You’re not going to talk about this with Rose. Karkat’s obviously off the table and John isn’t even a consideration. Maybe you can talk about it with your therapist, but your next session isn’t until the first week of January and you need answers NOW.

Okay. Okay. Maybe you can just work this shit out by yourself. You pull your phone out of your pocket and pull up a search engine: _**am i gay?**_

\---

You spent a good amount of time in the bathroom trying to figure things out and you’re basically still at square fucking one. The only thing you did decide for sure was that you think you should wait to talk to Karkat now because there’s a whole new fucking smorgasbord of shit on the table that you apparently hadn’t even realized before, although everyone around you seemed too. So fucking embarrassing.

Rose told you earlier that Kanaya’s going home tomorrow so that’s cool. It gives you another night to sort shit out and then you can talk to Karkat tomorrow after his bodyguard has left.

That would have been a great fucking plan except for the fact the Karkat ends up going with Kanaya when she leaves. It’s okay you guess. You hadn’t really figure anything out yet anyway. You think you might… kinda… maybe have a crush on Karkat but it still makes you feel really fucking wrong and you don’t know where to go from here and you probably would have still avoided Karkat anyway. You know you at least need to apologize to him though so you’ll just talk to him whenever he comes back.

Only he doesn’t end up coming back, at least not during the day. You hear him get home late at night a couple times but he’s always gone by the time you wake up the next morning. Terezi texts you to invite you and John to her New Year’s Eve Party and lets you know that Karkat’s going to be there as well, so that’s cool, maybe you’ll just talk to him then. Rose smugly lets you know that Kanaya personally invited her but you don’t say much because you really don’t want to know what’s going on there.

You’re kind of relieved that Karkat stays away so that you don’t have to deal with anything just yet but you also kind of miss him and apparently you’re not the only one. The night before Terezi’s party, the 30th, Dirk has a hard time falling asleep. You’ve tried all of your usual tricks: raps, stories, even carrying him but so far nothing has worked. Rose and Roxy knocked out a while ago and Dirk’s still just laying there wide eyed but quiet. You’re sitting next to him on the floor holding his hand.

“Is something bothering you little dude?” you finally ask him and he turns to look at you with a worried expression.

“Do you think Karkat still likes me?” he asks in a quiet voice.

“What? Of course he does Dirk. Karkat loves you. Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know. He’s been staying away. Maybe he doesn’t want me here anymore. Maybe he hates me just like your mom does.”

“Dirk. No,” you say and pull him out of bed and into your lap and hug him against your chest. “Karkat would never feel that way about you. He’s staying away because he’s mad at *me*, not you. I promise.”

“Oh. Why’s he mad at you?”

“Uh.. cuz I was being really dumb and mean to him.”

“That’s not cool. Karkat’s so nice.”

“Yea, I know…”

“You should tell him sorry.”

“Yea, I will little man. I promise. I’m sorry you thought he was mad at you,” you say and hug him tighter.

“It’s ok,” he says and smiles up at you. “I love you, Dave.”

“I love you too, Dirk.”

He snuggles into you and you hold him close and rock him until he falls asleep. Even after he’s drifted off you continue holding him for a while. You’re so pissed at yourself because your stupid fucking bullshit ended up inadvertently hurting Dirk. Fuck, you promised yourself you would never hurt him and yet somehow you still managed to. God, you’re just as bad as Bro. Rose even said your bullshit hang-ups over sexuality probably came from Bro and here you are letting them hurt Dirk. God dammit, you really need to get your shit straight…. Or maybe not so *straight* if you’re going to start being honest with yourself.

\---

The next evening, Dirk and Roxy both have a hard time going to sleep but this time it’s because Ms. J loaded them up on sugar cookies and not because your bullshit made one of them worried that someone hated them. After finally getting the munchkins to sleep, you, Rose and John all head to Terezi’s house together. You are both nervous and excited at the prospect of seeing Karkat again. Although it’s your fault he’s been staying away, you’d be lying if you said that you hadn’t missed him.

After you get inside Rose leads you straight to where Kanaya is standing, of course. Karkat’s with her but he doesn’t look at you and gives a lame excuse and tries to leave. Rose throws a wrench in his plan though when she asks him to show her where the alcohol is and you can see the irritation just radiating off of him. You have to suppress a smile because fuck, he really is cute and maybe.. maybe that’s ok that you think that.

Karkat takes you all into the kitchen and Rose starts making drinks immediately. Terezi comes over to say hello and you notice that she’s being pretty handsy with you but Karkat has told you before that that’s just how she gets when she drinks. You notice that Karkat grabs one of the drinks that Rose made and absconds from the kitchen as quickly as possible. You almost go after him but chicken out at the last second because you honestly don’t know if you’re ready to talk to him yet. You grab one of Rose’s drink too, maybe some liquid courage will help.

You gulp down the first one pretty quick and then ask Rose to make you another. Fuck, her drinks are strong. You guess she takes after your mom with that. After she hands you your second drink, her and Kanaya leave the kitchen and you’re left alone with Terezi. She asks you if you want to dance and you say yeah. You figure it will be a good distraction until you’re ready to talk to Karkat.

Time flies and you’re actually enjoying yourself. Terezi’s a really good dancer and it’s just fun to enjoy yourself with a good friend and you let yourself get lost in the music and the booze too, for that matter. You’re surprised when someone announces that it’s almost midnight. Shit, you still need to talk to Karkat. You didn’t want to start the new year with him still being pissed at you and you scan the crowd until you find him. When you spot him, he’s staring back at you and after only a moments hesitation you start towards him, intending to make things right.

Before you can get to him, Terezi yanks your arm and turns you back towards her. You look at her confused and she pulls you down and kisses you right on the lips. You don’t respond, at all, but she caught you off guard, so you don’t pull away either. When she finally breaks the kiss, she leans back and says ‘Happy New Year’ and you realize that oh, she just kissed you because it was midnight. It was an enthusiastic kiss but she’s pretty fucking wasted at this point so you’re not too surprised. After you return her ‘Happy New Year’, you turn back to continue to Karkat but he’s no longer there. Fuck.

You look around for him some more but can’t find him and Terezi approaches you again with another drink and asks you if you want to dance some more. You agree and figure you’ll just keep an eye out for Karkat to return. It’s about an hour later and you still haven’t spotted him again when Terezi asks you if you want to come and see something up in her room. You nod in agreement and wonder what the hell she could possibly have to show you but hey, maybe you’ll find Karkat along the way.

You follow along behind her but holy shit, you’re a little more tipsy than you realized and you don’t walk the straightest line. Terezi notices and gives you a shit eating grin but grabs your hand and pulls you along. Once up in her room, she closes the door and launches herself at you, pressing against you and kisses you again. Oh shit. Oh no.

“Hey,” you say against her lips and gently push her away and shake your head no. She looks at you confused and tries to lean in for another kiss but you pull away again and hold her at arm’s length.

“What’s wrong? You don’t like me, cool kid?” she says playfully but you can see the hurt plainly written on her face.

“Fuck, Terezi. Of course I do, I just… I just can’t do that with you… it’s not anything to do with you though! Shit dude, there’s no denying you’re a smoking hot babe but I just..can’t, ” you try to explain.

She smiles at you sadly. “You should probably go,” she tells you and flops down onto her bed.

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s a good idea,” you say and open the door. “Are you.. are you okay though?” you ask before you leave.

“I’m great, Dave. Just go.”

You nod and close the door behind you as you step out. Fuck. You decide to go get another drink and then look for Karkat again. You don’t want this night to be a complete fucking disaster. You head to down to the kitchen and you see Karkat leaning against the wall. He looks amazing and maybe it’ the alcohol but you want to rush over and fucking kiss him and for the first time, you don’t feel wrong for having those thoughts. You still stomp them down though because apologizing and making things right with Karkat needs to come first. Maybe you’ll eventually confess your feelings to him but now is definitely *not* the time.

You take a deep breath and head towards him, albeit a little wobbly but the alcohol has also made you bold enough to approach him in the first place so you don’t mind to much. He turns to face you once you reach him and you brace a hand against the wall to steady yourself.

“Hey,” you eloquently start out.

“What? You and Terezi are finished already? I figured you wouldn’t last long but damn Strider, this must be a new record,” he snaps at you as he turns and sets his drink onto the counter and you notice that his hands are shaking. What? Oh shit, he must have seen you and Terezi go upstairs together. Shit. He probably thinks that you two… that you.. fuck. You have to let him know that didn’t happen. You drop your hand from the wall and start shaking your head.

“We didn’t… I don’t… I wouldn’t do that to you dude, I swear. I went up to her room but nothing happened, you can ask her,” you stumble out.

“What? Why? Is she not good enough for you or something?” he demands, somehow sounding even more angry now. What the fuck is happening?! You try to explain yourself again.

“Dude! No! It’s just I….. that I…”

You want to tell him everything all at once. That you’re so fucking sorry that you were an asshole to him when you found out that he was pan and that it was just your own hang-ups about sexuality that made you freak out like that. That you weren’t mad at him, you were mad at yourself. That he’s still your best fucking friend in the world and that you would never sleep with Terezi because not only would that be a huge violation of the ‘bro code’ but also that you don’t fucking want her… you want him.

But you’re pretty fucked up and your brain can’t fucking coherently process all that into words and instead you kiss him. You kiss him because that’s the solution your brain comes up with to tell Karkat that you’re sorry, and you don’t care that he’s gay, that you might be too and that you didn’t fuck Terezi because you only want him. And surprisingly he doesn’t push you away.

He actually kisses you back! You cup his face and he pushes into you and oh fuck, he tastes amazing and smells amazing and feels amazing. You can honestly say it’s one of the most blissful moments of your entire life. Although you don’t want it to end, you break the kiss after a short time because you can’t quite believe it’s happening and you need to gauge his reaction. He looks up at you when you do and you want to sear the image of him in that moment into your brain forever. He looks so ethereal and you brush your thumb across his face as you drink in the sight of him.

“Why… why did you do that,” he asks you.

Because I think I might be in love with you is what you want to say but you don’t because you’re afraid he’ll laugh in your face if you do. So instead you decide that maybe you should say you were just trying to say sorry and show him that you’re okay with his sexuality but what actually comes out of your mouth is this:

“I…I… I don’t know dude. I mean you’re gay, I thought you would like it.”

The look on his face changes so drastically from the peaceful one from just a few moments ago that your brain doesn’t even process that you’ve pissed him off. You’re completely caught off guard when he pushes you away and you stumble back. You stare at him in shock as yells at you, still not grasping what he’s so angry about.

“Fuck you, Strider. FUCK YOU! You’re such an ignorant fucking asshole. I can’t even believe the bullshit that comes out of your mouth.” He screams at you and you just stare back at him blankly. He throws his hands up and lets out a completely humorless laugh. “But hey, at least you’d be making your piece of shit Bro proud right now with how *not* gay you are, right?!”

Oh. Everything suddenly clicks into place. Fuck.

You don’t say anything as he pushes past you. You’re a piece of shit. A complete piece of shit just like you Bro. You just hurt one of the people you care about the most because you’re nothing but a stupid asshole. You hurt the people that care about you just like Bro does. You don’t deserve a friend like Karkat anyway.

“What the fuck did you say to KK?” you hear from behind you and turn to see Sollux standing there.

“Huh?” you ask, still caught up in your own thoughts.

“I said what the fuck did you say to KK? I saw him leave upset and I know it was because of you Strider,” he says. You don’t respond and instead just look back down at the floor.

“Look asshole,” he continues after your silence. “KK doesn’t deserve any of your bullshit so why don’t you just leave him the fuck alone.”

You nod because really, how the fuck can you argue with that and you walk away from him. You feel him glaring at your back as you retreat but you don’t care. You deserve his contempt. You go to find Rose to see if she’s ready to leave and find her in the upstairs hallway sprawled across Kanaya’s lap, who is gently stroking her hair. Rose is slurringly telling her how pretty she is and Kanaya’s just affectionately shaking her head at her. You decide to let them do their thing and go to find John instead but he’s one the couch making out with Vriska and fuck that, you’re definitely not getting involved there. Ew.

You don’t want to be at the party anymore though. You’re suddenly overly aware of how crowded and loud it is but you can’t just leave your sister here either. Fuck.

Out of options you go back up to Terezi’s room. You knock before entering and she calls out ‘come in.’ As you enter, you see she’s still laying in the same spot as when you left earlier but she sits up when she sees it’s you.

“You came back,” she says smiling at you. Shit.

“Uh… Yeah but uh… not for like… shit. I shouldn’t have come back but I needed to get away and I didn’t know where else to go.” She frowns at you but she seems more concerned than anything.

“Is everything OK?” she asks.

“Yeah,” you say and she looks at you knowingly. “I just uh… I think I might have fucked things up with Karkat for good this time.” Now she definitely looks concerned.

“What did you do?”

“I said some dumb shit…again… and I kinda, maybe, kissed him?”

Terezi stares at you and then flops back down onto her bed and covers her face with both hands. “Oh my god. You both are such idiots, I swear.” She sits back up again and looks back at you. “Why do you think you fucked up things with him for good?”

“Cuz the shit I said was really, really fucking stupid and he left, really, really pissed off,” you explain.

“Did you mean the shit you said?”

“NO! Like, not at all. I’m just a dumbass.”

“Then tell him,” she says and you start to shake your head no. “Dave, look. Karkat will listen to what you have to say, that’s just how he is. And even if he doesn’t forgive you, he still deserves an apology and an explanation from you, right?”

You nod in response because you know she’s right.

“Good. So do that, but do it right this time,” she says and stands up. “I’m going to go back downstairs but you can stay up here as long as you need.”

“Thanks, TZ” you say as she heads out the door. She flashes one last smile and then disappears.

You take her place on the bed and cradle your head in your arms as you think. You don’t want Karkat to hate you and you don’t want to keep hurting the people around you and you certainly don’t want to be like your fucking Bro. You’re going to talk to Karkat and apologize for real this time but you’re going to wait until tomorrow so you can actually be sober and maybe not completely make shit worse again. You are the reigning master of talking about your feelings, so this should be easy, piece of fucking cake…. Yeah…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So next chapter's probably not going to be out for a while because 1. holiday bs and 2. I'm anticipating writing a lot of conversations and, as those of you I've talked to in comments or otherwise can probably tell, I'm really, really awful at talking to people, and writing convos takes me a while but I'll take try my best =) I’m also trying to find a balance between not making this a drawn out angst fest but also not dismissing Dave’s struggle with his homophobia and own sexuality and it takes time lol
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! For those who celebrate, hope y'all have a great holiday and for those who don't, I hope you have a great day in general <3


	23. Chapter 23

You tense up instantly the next morning upon awakening, realizing that you’re somewhere unfamiliar. You slit your eyes open just enough to scan the room for any threats before realizing that you’re just in Terezi’s room. You must have passed out here, you think as you sit up in bed and rub at your face. For a few brief, blissful moments you wonder what the fuck happened last night before the memories of it all come crashing back into your mind. Fuck. FUCK.

You royally fucked shit up last night. Like literally, you’re the king of assholes right now. The worst of the fucking worst. 10 out of 10 a complete dick. Yup. That’s you. Dave Strider- friendship fucker-upper extraordinaire. Karkat’s never going to forgive you or talk to you or fuck, even look at you ever again and you fucking deserve it.

Shit, it wasn’t even just Karkat you were an asshole to last night. Self-absorbed idiot that you are, you were completely oblivious to Terezi’s flirting until she was actually pressed up against you in her room and kissing you. Fuck. And you should have kept a better eye on Rose with her drinking… Rose.. shit…

You sit up in bed, probably too fast if the way your head aches and the room spins is any indicator. Ugh. You gotta find your sister and make sure she’s okay though, so you push through the pain and get your ass out of bed. You leave Terezi’s room and enter the hallway but you don’t have far to go in your search for Rose as you find her and Kanaya in the same spot as you left them last night.

They’re both still sleeping and Kanaya’s slumped against the wall with Rose’s head still cradled in her lap. Rose’s hair is in wild disarray, her makeup smeared across her face, her mouth is open and she’s quietly snoring. You debate with yourself over whether you should snap a picture but ultimately decide against it as you’ve already been enough of an asshole to last the entire rest of the year. Considering it’s only January 1st that’s quiet an accomplishment, even for you. Instead you kneel down and gently shake her shoulder.

“Rose. Hey Rose. Time to rise and shine sleeping beauty. Rose.”

“Nerrrghhh,” she mumbles and bats your hand away.

“Rose. Seriously. You gotta wake up,” you say back, keeping your voice down to avoid waking Kanaya.

“Whhhhyyyy,” she whines. “I’m comfy.”

“Because you look like shit and not just metaphorical shit, like actually fucking shit, Rose. Like I just scraped you off the bottom of my shoe, that’s the shit level you’ve reached.”

“Uggh, Dave, must you always be so gross,” she whispers and finally sits up.

“I’m just stating facts here, Rose but mainly I didn’t think you’d want Kanaya to see you in all your shit-tacular glory this morning.”

She glares up at you from where she’s still sitting on the floor and then glances, horrified, back down at Kanaya. Particularly at the large drool spot on Kanaya’s skirt where her head had previously been laying.

“Fffuuuuccckkk,” she groans and cradles her head in her hands. “Fuck Dave. She’s never going to talk to me after this. I’m so fucking embarrassed. And I sure had a lot of nerve pointing out your propensity at unknowingly emulating our Father when here I am acting like Mother’s damn protégé. God, we’re such assholes, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, that seems to be the general consensus lately but I think I’ve got you’ve beat in the asshole department, Rose. Shit, after last night I’m probably up for an asshole of the month award. District manager’s going to be reviewing my record, bet I’ll be up for a promotion soon. At the rate I’m going I be the CEO of assholes in no time..”

“Dave,” Rose interrupts. “Can you please not do the long-winded metaphor thing right now, I’m way to hung over for that shit.”

“Oh. Right. Sorry. Uh… so we should probably get going then.”

“Yeah,” she agrees. “Let me get cleaned up some and help Kanaya to her room. I can’t just leave her here after she dealt with my... bout of inebriation... last night. I’ll meet you downstairs in like 10 minutes, okay?”

“Okay,” you say and help her to her feet. “And Rose?” She looks up at you. “You’re nothing like mom. Like not even a little. Just don’t… just don’t let the drinking become a regular thing, okay?” She breaks eye contact with you and nods. “And hey,” you continue. “Anyone with eyes can see how crazy about you Kanaya is. She’d have to be crazy not to be and if she doesn’t talk to you again because of last night then she doesn’t deserve you. I really don’t think you have to worry though,” you finish and Rose looks back up at you with a small smile on her lips.

“Gosh Dave, I don’t know what to do with all that sincerity. You better be careful or I’m going to have to start questioning if you’re really the ironic, aloof, cool kid that you’ve led me to believe you are,” she quips back at you.

“Yea, well maybe that wouldn’t be the worst thing considering I learned all those traits from Bro. Maybe the new brand I’m going for is sincere, honest, slightly less ironic but still super fucking cool big brother.”

Rose’s smile widens slightly and she glances down at Kanaya, presumably to make sure she’s still sleeping, before she pulls you in for a hug.

“I think that ‘brand’ suits you much, much better and don’t quote me on this or anything,” she says lowering her voice even more. “but you really are a ‘super fucking cool big brother’.”

She kisses your cheek and then pulls away and straightens her skirt. You don’t say anything and just smile at her and hold out your fist. Rose rolls her eyes but humors you and gives you a fist bump as she returns your smile.

“So, I’ll meet you downstairs in ten then?” you ask and she smooths her skirt again and nods.

You turn away from each other at the same time. Rose heads into the nearby bathroom and you head down the stairs to wait for her. You look around for John and you find him and Vriska in the living room passed out on the floor, both on opposite ends of the beer pong table. Well at least he didn’t end up in her bedroom you think, as you kick his shoe to wake him up. He groans and scoots away from you.

“Hey Egbert, me and Rose are heading back home, you comin?” John shakes his head and groans again.

“Just let my dad know I’ll be home later,” he says.

“Alright, dude,” you say and go over and grab a pillow off the nearby couch and lob it at his face. He gives you the one finger salute but grabs it and shoves it under his head. You grab one for Vriska too since you figure you have some asshole points to make up for. She doesn’t even stir as you awkwardly lift her head and jam the pillow underneath.

After you’ve accomplished your ‘good deed’ you go and stand by the front door to wait for your sister. You hear footsteps coming down and look up expecting Rose but find Terezi on the stairs instead. You don’t know where she ended up sleeping and she looks almost as rough as Rose. Shit, you guess you should probably apologize for being an asshole last night.

“Hey,” you say and walk over to meet her at the stairs.

“Hey,” she says and stares back at you, her signature smile absent from her face.

“I.. I’m really fucking sorry about last night. I was a complete dumbass and I’m seriously sorry.”

“Dave, don’t. I was just as much of a dumbass as you were. If I hadn’t been so fucking trashed I probably would have noticed who you were really pining after and not dragged you up to my room for sloppy makeouts…. So how about we just agree that our dumbassness cancels each other’s out. No apologies needed on either side?”

“Uh.. yeah. That sounds good,” you agree.

“Perfect. So, you still going to try to fix your actual fuck up from last night?”

“Yeah… Going home to try right now actually. Just waiting on Rose.”

“Well, good luck.”

“Thanks, TZ. I’m probably going to need it.”

“Oh, you’re definitely going to need it,” she says with her signature grin back in place.

You shrug but don’t get a chance to otherwise respond as Rose comes down the stairs and joins you. Terezi gives you both a wave goodbye and heads into the living room where she pounces on Vriska. You and Rose put on your jackets and leave the house to the sound of Terezi’s cackles and Vriska’s bitching.

“So, did you get Kanaya all tucked in?” you ask Rose after you’ve reached the sidewalk.

“Yes. She asked me if I want to see a movie later,” she says with a slightly embarrassed smile.

“Nice. Told ya you didn’t have anything to worry about,” you say as you bump into her with your shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah. You were right for once,” she says with an eye roll. “So, now are you going to tell me what you did last night to qualify for asshole of the month?”

“Oh… I..uh..kissed Karkat.”

“YOU WHAT?!” she says and stops walking. She grabs your arm and turns you toward her.

“I kissed Karkat.”

“Yeah, I got that but why?! What did he do? Does he like you? Did you apologize for being such an asshole this past week? Oh, is that why you kissed? It was like a makeup kiss, huh? Are you and he together now?” she rambles out almost more to herself than to you.

“No.”

Rose gives you her ‘fed up with your bullshit face’ before responding, “And which particular question out of the million that I asked you would that ‘No’ be in reference to?”

“Uh… all of them?”

“God dammit Dave. You can’t just spring ‘I kissed Karkat’ on me and then not elaborate on it at all.”

“God dammit Rose. I don’t how to elaborate on it because I don’t fucking know either, okay? So, no, we aren’t together. No, he doesn’t like me. No, it definitely wasn’t a fucking make-up kiss because no, I didn’t fucking apologize. And no, I don’t know why I did it other than I have all these confusing as fuck thoughts in my head and all I want to do anytime I see Karkat’s stupid fucking face is kiss him but like, I only just realized that a few days ago so I’m not really doing at great job at processing it. SOOO, instead of apologizing, I just forced a kiss on him and told him I thought he’d like it because he’s gay. Oh, and you want to know how he reacted? He pushed me away, called me an asshole and told me Bro would be proud of me. So yeah, does that clear shit up for you Rose?”

She stares at with her mouth hanging opening for several long moments as she processes everything you just told her.

“Fuck, Dave. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m the last person who deserves anyone’s sympathy right now,” you say causing Rose to shake her head and frown at you.

“So, what are you going to do now?” she asks.

“Talk to him, I guess? You know, since I’m so fucking great at talking about my feelings. I’m going to at least apologize to him though. He at least deserves that much.”

“Do you want me to talk to him for you?” she offers and you smile at her but shake your head no.

“Nah, it’s something I need to do on my own.”

“Hhmmm, well at least it will fit with your new ‘brand’ right?” she says and smiles sadly up at you.

“Yeah. Do you think… do think he’ll forgive me, Rose?” you ask, letting yourself be more vulnerable than you like. She weighs the question in her mind a moment before responding.

“I think that anyone with eyes can see how close you and Karkat are and he’d be an idiot not to,” she says, mirroring what you said to her about Kanaya earlier. You nod and smirk at her.

“Well, we should probably get back. No use putting this off any longer.”

“Yeah,” she agrees. “That’s probably a good idea.”

You turn and start walking again. Rose follows and links her arm with yours as she does so, letting her head fall to rest against your shoulder. You’re not sure if she’s doing it because of her hangover or if she’s offering you silent support but either way you appreciate it. You walk the rest of the way home in silence.

\---

Once back home the first thing you and Rose do is find Ms. J to let her know you’re home. She takes one look at the both of you and then leads you into the kitchen where she makes you some ‘hangover tea’. You gulp yours down in one drink but Rose tells you that she’s going to stay and drink her’s with Ms. Harley. You nod, knowing she’s giving you space to talk with Karkat, and head upstairs.

You hear voices coming from Karkat’s room and you head there first. His door is open and you stand at the entrance for a moment before you enter. He’s laying in the middle of the floor on his stomach, his arms are crossed in front of him and his chin his resting on his overlapping hands. He’s reading a book to all four kids. Dirks sitting cross legged on Karkat’s back and the other 3 are sprawled in various positions in front of him as they listen to the story.

Roxy is the first one to notice your presence and she’s up in a flash as she races over to you.

“Dave!!!” she shouts as she jumps into your arms. You give her the mandatory dose of hugs and kisses as Dirk bounds off of Karkat’s back and runs over and throws his arms around your legs, almost knocking you over. You kneel down so that you can pull him in for a proper hug too.

“Did you guys miss me?”

“Duh!” Rox says and you tickle her in response causing her to squeal in delight. After you give both of them an adequate amount of attention you stand back up and look towards Karkat. He hasn’t moved but you can tell he’s tense and he’s staring silently down at the book. Jane and Jake are still in their same spots as well since they don’t really know you well enough yet to come and greet you, although they do both give you an awkward wave.

“Uh, hey guys?” you say to all the kids. “Rose is down in the kitchen with Ms. J, why don’t yall go down and see if they’ll give you some snacks?”

“Yeah!” Roxy says. “Come on guys, lets go!”

She runs out of the room and the other three kids follow suit. You watch them from the doorway as they bound happily down the stairs together and then turn back to Karkat. He’s still staring down at the book but his face is red and you’re not sure if it’s from anger or something else.

“What’s the matter? You didn’t want my ‘gay’ rubbing off on the kids?” He spits out, still not looking at you. Yeah, you deserved that.

“Uh. Can we talk?” you ask and take one step farther into the room. He sighs loudly and pushes himself up from the floor and goes over to sit in his desk chair. He rubs at his face some before he answers you.

“Look Strider, can we just not do this right now? If you don’t want to be friends with me or you don’t want me around your little brother anymore, that’s fine but can we just not do it right now? I just … can’t deal with it right now, okay?”

“What? Karkat, no,” you say and start to walk farther into his room but stop yourself. “That’s not what I want to talk about, dude… Is it okay if I come in?” you ask him instead of just barging in like you had started too. He stares at you and you shift uncomfortably under his gaze. He finally heaves another sigh and responds.

“Fucking fine. Get your ass in here.”

You don’t hesitate and step the rest of the way in and close the door behind you. You don’t really know where to sit so you opt to just awkwardly lean against his desk.

“So.. uh..” you begin. “That sure was a great start to the New Year, huh?”

He glares up at you and then turns away from you and crosses his arms. Okay, so maybe you shouldn’t have started out with a joke. God dammit Strider, pull yourself together.

“Shit. That was stupid. Sorry,” you start again. “Uh. What I really wanted to say was uh..” you take a deep breath. Ok. Ok. Just fucking do this Dave. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so fucking sorry, Karkat. For everything. For last night and this last week and a half. For being such a dick to you and for blaming you when you did nothing wrong.”

“I’m just as much at fault here as you are, Dave. I always manage to fuck things up and this was no different. I should have fucking told you I was pan from the beginning,” he says before you can say anything else.

“No, Karkat. No. God dammit, no. So much fucking no, dude. None of this is on you, okay? You didn’t have to tell me jack shit because its none of my fucking business and shouldn’t have fucking mattered. And it doesn’t matter, I swear. I just… didn’t want you to think I was like that too..”

“Because being like me is apparently so terrible,” he says and he has yet to look at you.

“No, that’s not what I mean, dude. Look, it’s just my whole life I’ve had this ideal in my head about how I’m *supposed* to be and how I’m *supposed* to act. Like I *have* to be this hard, manly dude because that’s what society expects from guys, I guess? And uh.. when I found at that you were uh… pan.. it made me fucking panic because what if that meant that… I wasn’t.. the way I always thought that I was? And like, what if that meant that I wasn’t living up to the standard of masculinity that I’m supposed too? And what that meant I wasn’t the strong role-model I’m supposed to be for Dirk. What if that meant that I was just some guy that everyone thinks is a pansy because I don’t like the stuff that I *should* like? And I… I’m starting to realize how fucking stupid all that is. That it’s all just some unrealistic ideal that I can never live up to. And that’s okay because it’s all just stupid stuff that gets shoved into our brains as kids but it’s all stuff that shouldn’t even matter anyway. And I guess I’m realizing how easy it was to use all that stuff as a front to mask who I really am and… uh.. I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I’m really sorry that you got pulled into my bullshit personal crisis. It was easier to place blame on you because then I didn’t have to answer questions about myself that I didn’t want to answer. It was completely fucked up of me, on so many levels, and I don’t think I can ever say sorry enough, dude. And like, I understand if you don’t forgive me. Shit, man, I don’t even know if I’d forgive me if our roles were reversed but like, even if you don’t I just want you to know that you’re the best fucking friend I’ve ever had and these past few months have been some of the best ones of my entire life… and like, I think everything about you is amazing. The way you’re so passionate about shit you care about, how you can read an entire book in like a day, your stupid bullshit rom coms you insist on watching, how ridiculously smart and funny you are and the way you are with Dirk… he fucking loves you so much and like if I could pick one person that I hope Dirk grows up to be like, it would be you. And I’m sorry to lay all this clichéy fucking shit on you right now but if this is the last time we talk, I just really want you to know all that, dude.”

You finally take a breath and shove your hands into your pockets. Karkat still hasn’t looked at you and you shuffle your feet, not knowing what you should do now.

“So,uh, yeah. I guess that’s it. I’m just sorry for being such an asshole. You didn’t deserve any of it………… and uh, I guess..I should go now,” you say since he hasn’t responded yet. You turn to leave and a hand latches onto your wrist and pulls you back.

“Don’t leave, dumbass. Just give me a minute, okay?” Karkat says with a hitch in his voice.

“Ok.”

You stand there like an awkward fucker while Karkat mentally does what ever the hell it is he needs to do. He takes several deep breathes before he finally turns to face you.

“Why did you kiss me last night?” is the first thing out of his mouth.

Fuck. You were hoping you would be able to avoid that topic altogether. There was definitely a part of you that was hoping he had been too drunk to even remember it but of course he wasn’t. You keep your face carefully blank as you decide what to tell him. Part of you wants to tell him your true feelings, that you think you’re falling for him and might, possibly be in love with him but a bigger part of you realizes that it’s probably not a great time to reveal something like that. You’ve only just came to the realization yourself a couple of days ago and you haven’t even fully processed it yet and you have no idea how he feels about you and the most important thing right now is fixing your friendship with him. You can deal with the other shit later…

“Because I’m a dumbass. I know it’s not a good excuse but I was drunk and I just wanted to show you that I didn’t care if you’re pan or if anyone thought I was too and also that I was sorry for everything. It seemed like a good idea at the time but it… *I*… was just really fucking stupid and I’m sorry about that too.”

He nods and looks down again with a sad expression on his face. Fuck, did you say the wrong thing? Before you can backtrack, he speaks again.

“I’m sorry I compared you to your Bro. That was fucked up on my part.”

“Eh,” you say and shrug your shoulders. “You made a good point.”

“I still shouldn’t have fucking said it,” he argues and you just shrug again.

“So where do we go from here?” he questions.

“I don’t know, dude. I’m the asshole here so I don’t really get to decide. It’s up to you, man.”

“Ok,” he says and nods. “These last few months have been some of the best of my life too, Dave. I don’t want to lose you as a friend either but I can’t got through bullshit like that with you again,” he continues and you feel bile rise in your throat, believing this is the part where he ends your friendship. “So, can you just like, promise not to fucking shut me out like that again? Promise to just fucking talk to me if you go through any shit like that again?”

What? That’s not what you were expecting. You swallow down the lump in your throat.

“Dude, yes. Fuck, yes. I’m going to fucking talk about my feeling so much you’re going to get sick of me. We’ll be having a feelings jam up in this bitch every night, dude. We can do the whole shebang too, paint our nails, have pillow fights, talk about the boys we’re crushing on…”

“Dave, I swear to fucking god, don’t me regret forgiving you already.”

“Oh..wait.. you forgive me?”

“I probably shouldn’t but yeah, I forgive you, you blithering shit hole. Well, mostly anyways….”

“What do you mean?”

“That was a real dick move not to open my gift to you on Christmas,” he says, glaring at you again.

“Oh…. Yeah, that was pretty fucked up. I did open it. When I went up to Dirk’s room… Thank you by the way, it’s fucking awesome… but uh, I don’t know why I didn’t open it in the living room. I guess uh… I was worried I’d get emotional and look like a pussy or something and that was like, still a thing I was worried about… Sorry.”

“Oh…………….. you really liked it though? I didn’t really know what kind of paper or type of pencils to get. We can return them if I got shitty ones.”

“Fuck that dude, they’re perfect,” you assure him. “ I uh… I got you something too. If you still want it I mean.”

“I guess,” he says and shrugs.

“Ok, let me go get it,” you say and hurry over to Dirk’s room to get it from the closet. Once you have his gift in your hands, you get nervous. Fuck, what if he hates it. You can’t really back out now though, so you walk slowly back to Karkat’s room and hand it over to him.

“Are you fucking serious, Strider?” he says as he looks at the wrapping paper where you painstakingly transformed several of the snowman into dicks. You just shrug and smile at him. He just shakes his head and starts to open it and you notice that he’s careful not rip the snowman dicks. Once he’s got all of the paper off, he flips the gift over to look at it.

“Dave,” he whispers. “What the fuck… how?” His hands are shaking as he shuffles between the two framed photos and three laminated drawings you made for him.

“I snapped a picture of the photo of your sister and then used that editing program you bought me to enlarge and enhance some the colors and stuff and then I just framed the two different versions,” you explain. “And then the drawings, well obviously I drew those. Sorry if I got her wrong. I just wanted you to have more than one picture of her.”

He hasn’t stopped looking at the drawings since he opened them. There’s one of his sister holding the butterfly he told you about months ago. One of him and her together and one that’s a close up of her face.

“You drew these?” he asks, finally looking up at you.

“Yeah…”

“Dave,” he says again and his voice breaks. He gets up from his chair and tenderly places the photos and drawings onto his desk. He turns back to face you.

“You stupid fucking idiot,” he says before he launches himself at you and wraps his arms around you in a hug. The relief you feel at being on the receiving end of his compliments disguised as insults again is ridiculous and you wrap your arms around him as well and just drink in the feel of him.

“I love them and they’re fucking perfect, Dave,” he says after a few minutes. “Thank you.” You don’t respond and instead just nod and hug him tighter. A short time later, he pulls away and wipes at his face.

“Sorry,” he says. “I shouldn’t have hugged you like that after… every thing we just went through.. I just…. The pictures are so… and I just got fucking carried away. Sorry.”

“Nah, bro. I hereby give you express permission to come get a certified Strider hug anytime you need one. And, like, if I do have a problem with it, I already promised I’d tell you, right?”

“Oh, yeah. I just wanted to make sure,” he grumbles.

“But hey. I want you to know that goes both ways,” you say and he looks at you quizzically. “Like, if I ever do anything that pisses you off or I cross any boundaries, I want you to promise to tell me too, deal?”

“Deal,” he says and you share a fist bump with him to seal the promise.

“Bros?” you ask him.

“Best bros,” he says and immediately looks embarrassed.

“For life,” you say back as sincerely as possible. He gives you the wide, warm smile that you had missed so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading! 
> 
> Hope everyone has a great New Year!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update, I got really sick and it just ended up being a rough month in general so I had a hard time getting in the mood to write I guess. But after listening to at least 16,000 love songs I finally got motivated to write again. I'm not entirely happy with this chapter and sorry if it's kind of choppy and has worse editing than usual :[ I just needed to get past this one.  
> There's not to much going on this chapter as far as the plot goes but I realized that Rose and Roxy were leaving soon so I wanted to write some more scenes with them. There's some relationship building and also Dave and Karkat reestablishing their relationship and being awkward fucks as usual but anyways hope you guys enjoy it regardless. By the end of chapter 25 I'll be back to my original outline and we'll be getting to the end of this story within about 5-6 more chapters I'd say =)
> 
> And most importantly, [ VBMochi](https://vanillabeankuro.tumblr.com/) drew some super adorable [ fanart](https://vanillabeankuro.tumblr.com/image/168833884397) of Karkat reading to little Dirk that y'all should definitely check out. It's super cute and I love it soooo much <3

Dave sticks around for awhile after his apology, which you’re still processing to be honest. Even with his apology or maybe because of it, things are still a little bit awkward between the two of you but you’re so fucking happy to have your best friend back that you really don’t give a shit. He keeps smiling at you and you can’t help but smile back and if he were to fall into his usual schtick of pointing out how ‘gay’ things are, this would be the one instance where you would probably (secretly) agree with him. It’s not very long after Dave’s apology that you hear a soft knock on your door frame and you look up knowing before you see her that it’s Rose.

“Hey. How’s… things?” she asks.

“Off the shit is how,” Dave answers and the two of them share a silent look. Whatever unspoken bullshit they exchange must satisfy Rose because she breaks out into a smile and steps farther into the room.

“So, um, Kanaya just texted me,” she says as she goes and leans awkwardly against your desk, much like Dave had done not long before.

“Yeah?” Dave replies.

“Yeah, she asked if I wanted to meet up with her around 7 tonight for the movie.”

“Cool,” Dave says. Rose is obviously leading up to something and you can tell Dave’s being an obtuse asshole on purpose. You roll your eyes but otherwise stay quiet, you can’t help but be mildly fascinated by their interactions.

“Soooo,” Rose continues. “What are your plans for the evening?”

“I have a couple different options.”

“So nothing definitive then?”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Dave replies with a shrug. “I’m pretty set on being a lazy asshole tonight.”

“Great. So you’ll come to the movies with me and Kanaya then?” Rose says, ignoring Dave’s so called ‘plans’.

“Rose, god dammit. I knew that’s where you were going with this. Why the hell do you want me to tag along on your date?” Dave questions her.

“Because it’s not a date!” Rose says back like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“How the hell is it not a date?”

“Because I don’t know if it is, that’s why.”

“So? Just ask Kanaya what it is?”

“I can’t do that!!”

“Why?”

“Because.”

Dave and Rose stare at each other for a couple more moments before Dave apparently gives up, as if he wasn’t going to anyway. He looks up at the ceiling and heaves a sigh before he turns his attention to you.

“So you wanna go see a movie tonight?” he asks and before you can answer him Rose jumps in.

“Yes! That would be perfect! It can be a double date,” she says.

“I thought it wasn’t a date?” Dave says turning back to her.

“It’s not!” she defends, although she literally just called it a date not two seconds ago. You roll your eyes again and interrupt them.

“It doesn’t matter, I can’t go anyway” you say and both siblings turn to look at you now. “I already promised Dirk I would hang out with him and the other kids tonight.”

“That’s even better!” Rose says. “We can bring them with too.”

“Rose, are you fucking serious? You want to drag the us and the kids along just because you’re not sure if it’s an actual date or not? Which it clearly fucking is.”

Rose doesn’t answer and just gives him a pleading look while the two of them share another nonverbal conversation. Dave sighs and again turns to you.

“So, since we’re now apparently bringing the kids too, you wanna come along for this shit show? We can even invite John, I’m sure he’ll want to bring Vriska. Shit, might as well invite the whole party from last night at the rate we're going.”

“Just for future fucking reference, inviting Vriska isn’t the best way to entice me into doing something Dave,” you tell him.” But yeah, I guess I’ll go if the kids are.”

“Yes, thank you guys!” Rose says with a dramatic sigh of relief and heads toward the door. “Ok, so I’ll inform Kanaya that all of you will be coming with as well and Dave, if you can invite John and get the kids ready I will love you forever and make sure to be ready to leave by 6:15! I will seriously kick your ass if you’re not ready, dear brother. Oh, and check the theater to make sure there’s a kid friendly movie playing tonight, please.”

“Rose, wtf? This is your date, why do I have to do all that bullshit?” he argues and Rose turns back to look at him from where she’s standing in your door way.

“Because don’t you have a tremendous amount of asshole points you need to make up for?” she retorts.

You’re not entirely sure what she’s talking about, although you can probably guess, but either way her reply makes Dave’s mouth snap shut. Rose gives him a haughty smirk knowing that she’s won and practically bounces the rest of the way out of your room. Dave shakes his head and frowns at her retreating form before he turns back to face you.

“Alright bro, I guess I’m gonna go start getting ready since apparently I have a laundry list of shit I gotta do now. I’ma hop in the shower first though, I feel fucking disgusting after last night,” he freezes a moment and then starts rambling. “Not because of our kiss or anything. That wasn’t disgusting. Well, I guess it was because of how I did it but *you* weren’t disgusting. You were great. 10 outta 10 on your kissing skills, bro. Would definitely kiss you again… but like, only if you wanted to of course.”

You cut him off before he can dig his hole any deeper. “First of all, fuck you, I don’t want your pity kisses and secondly, you’re right, you look fucking disgusting so please do us all a favor and go take shower.”

You push him towards the door.

“So was that a yes or no on trying the kiss thing again?” he asks.

In lieu of a response you just slam the door in his face. You know he’s just fucking with you and you shake your head at his ridiculousness. You don’t want to admit to yourself, let alone Dave, how much you actually wouldn’t mind kissing him again. You hear his footsteps as he walks away and you go over to your computer to message Kanaya. You figure you should let her know that things are okay between you and Dave again so that she doesn’t spend her evening trying to protect you. After that’s accomplished you decide to take a short nap because honestly you’re still fucking physically and emotionally drained from last night but ou make sure to set an alarm so you don’t incur Lalonde’s wrath by being late.

\--

It’s around six thirty that evening when you, Dave, Rose, Roxy and Dirk finally leave the house to go meet Kanaya, Vriska and John, who had never actually made it back to Ms. Harley’s house after the New Year’s Eve party. Mr. Egbert had decided it would be to late for Jake and Jane to be out so they unfortunately couldn’t come along but Roxy and Dirk had promised to bring them back some popcorn and candy.

On the way there, Dirk holds hands with Rose and you’re not sure what he’s talking to her about but he’s a continuous stream of conversation the entire way there. Roxy holds hands with you and Dave and you spend the walk over playing the 1,2,3 jump game as you both hold her up as high as you can between you. She squeals with delight each time and you and Dave can’t help but laugh along. As you approach the house you see Kanaya and John already waiting outside and you’re surprised to see that Vriska’s not with them. Everyone greets each other and you have to stop yourself from facepalming at just how fucking awkward Rose and Kanaya are with each other.

“Hhmmm,” Kanaya says after she and Rose say hello to one another and you notice she’s eyeballing Rose’s (who is dressed to the nines) outfit.

“What is it?” Rose questions, worry crossing her face.

“Oh nothing. It’s just you look so lovely and I’m afraid I may have underdressed for the occasion,” she explains.

“No! You look soooo great, Kanaya!  Sooo great,’ Rose exclaims. “This was just the only clean thing I had left to wear, you know, since I’m living out of my suitcase this week.”

“Omfg, I can’t even deal,” Dave whispers to you as he actually face palms and you agree completely.

“I thought you said you wore it because you wanted to look pretty for your date, Rose?” Roxy innocently pipes up.

“Our date?” Kanaya questions a very embarrassed looking Rose. “So you did intend for our evening to be… romantically oriented then? I wasn’t sure when you invited everyone else along.”

“Holy shit,” Dave says, speaking loud enouh for them to hear this time. “We gotta couple of smooth operators here tonight. Yes Kanaya, tonight was supposed to be a ‘romantically oriented’ *date*.”

“I’m soooo sorry,” Rose says and you feel pretty bad for her. “I just wasn’t sure and I didn’t want to assume…”

You’re about to step in to help her out when Kanaya speaks up again.

“It’s okay,” she says with a smile and holds her arm out for Rose to take. “I’m still amendable to an evening of whatever… as long as you are.”

“I am,” Rose replies, smiling back at her in relief and taking her offered arm. “Most definitely.”

The two of them, and Dirk who is still holding Rose’s other hand, start off towards the theater together and Dave rolls his eyes at them as the rest of you follow suit. You walk beside John while Roxy and Dave follow behind the two of you. You take your opportunity to question Egbert about Vriska’s absence.

“So Vriska couldn’t make it?” you nonchalantly ask him.

“Oh,” he says and looks down at the ground. “I didn’t actually ask her to come.”

“Oh. I thought you guys really hit it off last night?”

“Eh, I guess. I mean Vriska’s cool and all but I don’t think there was anything there besides friendship, ya know?”

“Well, a lot of good relationships start out as just friends. Maybe something will still come of it.”

“Dude,” Dave says as he comes up and shoulders his way between the two of you. Roxy goes racing ahead and grabs Kanaya’s free hand and smiles up at her. “Are you seriously encouraging him to date Vriska? I thought he was your friend. What the fuck, man?”

“You’re right. What the hell was I thinking. You really dodged a fucking bullet there John,” you acquiesce.

“You are both such jerks, Vriska’s not that bad. She’s actually kinda cool, she’s just…intense,” John argues. “Heck, she’s definitely cooler than Dave.” You can’t help but laugh at that and even nod your head in agreeance.

“Fuck you, Egbert. You wouldn’t even know what cool was if it hit you right in your dorky ass face. And besides, what kind of bros would we be if we didn’t give you shit about the person you’re crushing on?”

“Probably the kind of ‘bros’ that whip pillows at their friends faces when they’re trying to sleep,” John says and playfully punches Dave in his arm. “You freaking bent my glasses, fucker.”

Even though the intent was harmless you notice Dave tenses up the moment John punches him and he lets out a forced laugh in response. Although John is oblivious, you can hear the change in Dave’s breathing and you have to stop yourself from instantly jumping to his defense if only for the fact that you know it would embarrass Dave. Instead you take a step behind Strider and place yourself in between him and John and give Egbert the reciprocating punch he was no doubt expecting from Dave. You make a mental note to bitch at John later about keeping his hands to himself when it comes to Dave and instead you lay into him about the subject at hand, giving Strider a chance to get back to himself.

“Get fucked John. Don’t even act like your glasses weren’t already bent to shit from the general fuckery you pull on a day to day basis,” you accuse him.

“Well yeah,” he says, “but they’re way worse now.”

“Good. Maybe that will finally encourage to get contacts so you might look a little less like the dorky freak that you are.”

“Whatever dude, you know that touching eyes grosses me out. Besides, Vriska said she thought my glasses were hot.”

“Well that should have been your first fucking clue that you definitely need to ditch the glasses then….”

You and John continue arguing back and forth along those lines and eventually Dave relaxes again and joins in and the three of you alternate between teaming up and talking shit to the odd man out.

It’s not a long walk to the theater, thank fuck since it’s freezing balls out, and your group arrives there shortly before 7 pm. The next (and last) showing of the kid’s movie that you want to see doesn’t start for another hour so you’ve got some time to dick around. It had started lightly snowing on the walk over and Dirk and Roxy beg to play in the outside courtyard so that they can enjoy it and the rest of you reluctantly agree.

Rose and Kanaya take a seat on a nearby bench (it doesn’t miss your notice how tightly they’re pressed together) and John goes and squeezes himself next to them. Dave nudges your side and gestures at the trio on the bench to make sure that you don’t miss the very displeased glares that Rose and Kanaya are shooting John’s way. As usual John doesn’t notice and starts talking to them about who the fuck knows what.

“You think your sister is regretting dragging all of us along for her ‘not date’ yet?” you ask Dave.

“Oh you bet your sweet ass she is,” he says and actually laughs out loud. You smile back at him, not so much because of Rose’s regret but because holy fuck is it nice to hear Dave’s laugh. You’ve missed it more than you’d like to admit.

“Hey,” Dave continues, “Do you mind keeping an eye on the kids for minute? I’m going to go buy everyone’s tickets.”

“Fuck you. You not fucking paying for all of us, Dave.”

“No dude, seriously, look. I’ve got my brother and two sister’s here, who I haven’t seen in forever, plus my best online friend since like 4th grade, my sister’s probably future girlfriend, not to mention my best bro who I have a lot of making up to do. I kinda *have* to pay for everyone here, man. Plus, it will save those two smooth operator’s over there from the awkward conversation of who’s buying who’s ticket for their ‘not date’.”

Well, you can’t really argue with that so you tell him ‘Fine’ and mentally promise yourself that you’ll pay him back later somehow. Dave walks away to buy tickets and you spend the next few minutes watching Dirk and Roxy run around trying to catch snowflakes on their tongues, completely engrossed in their own little winter wonderland. You see movement from the corner of your eye and look over to see Dave coming back from buying the tickets.

He’s looking at what you assume is the receipt as he walks and as he passes a trash can he crumbles it up and attempts to toss it in. The wind carries it away though and it lands a few feet from him. Dave goes after it and right when he bends down to pick it up it blows away again. You watch as he chases it a few more times, the receipt blowing away each time he reaches for it, until he finally catches it on his fourth try and successfully discards it into the trash. He stops to play with Roxy and Dirk on his way back over to you, holding his dumb tongue out and trying to catch snowflakes just like the kids.

You don’t even realize that you’re smiling as you watch him, this blonde idiot in shades who tries so hard to come across as ‘cool’ when really he’s anything but. Instead he’s just a ridiculously endearing dork who is so fucking thoughtful that he chases after a small piece of trash just so he won’t litter and does the most ridiculously cute and childish things without a second thought. God, he’s so fucking different from the person you initially thought he was, from the person her tries to come across as, it’s no wonder that you fell in love with him so easily.

The smile fades from face as your mouth twists into a frown. Fuck. You’re in love with him. You’re in love with Dave. You’ve admitted to yourself that you like him, that you have a crush on him but this…. Fuck. It’s a thought that you’ve known for awhile but one that you’ve only let intrude into the outer reaches of your thoughts. This is the first time you’ve let it come to the forefront of your mind and you hate yourself the second it does because you can’t do anything now except acknowledge it for the stupid idiocy that it is.

Dave LITERALLY just told you today that he didn’t have feelings for you. Well kind of anyway. He made it pretty clear when he gave the reasons for kissing you last night. None of them even remotely hinted at feelings for you and you can read in between the lines, he doesn’t fucking like you like that. Hell, he just spent the last however the fuck long being mad at you for liking guys, so what the fuck were you expecting from him? Some magical fucking confession about feelings? God, you’re such a worthless fucking idiot. You need to get you’re fucking feelings in check because like fuck are you going to fuck things up with him again and chance losing his friendship. You pack them away in the back of your mind and force yourself to think of anything else. You try to school your features as Dave finishes catching snowflakes and joins you again but you’ve never been good at hiding your feelings and he questions you immediately.

“Sup dude? You look like someone pissed in your cornflakes.”

“What?” you say, deciding to play dumb because there’s no way in hell you’d admit that you just realized you’re in love with him and what a big, dumb sack of shit that makes you. “Oh….my lips are just fucking dry and they hurt,” you explain and pull your chapstick from you pocket and start putting some on. It’s the lamest possible excuse you could have came up with but Dave must buy it because he just stares at you as you apply it.

“What?!” you ask after he keeps staring. Dave shakes his head just slightly enough for you to notice and clears his throat before answering.

“Nothing, dude. Let me get some of that chapstick though,” he says and holds out his hand.

“Ew. No fucking way. You’re not putting you’re disgusting fucking lips on my chap stick, Strider.”

“Fuck off, just let me use it,” he says and makes a grab for it but you’re able to dodge his attempt.

“No. Fuck you.”

“Dude. What the hell does it matter? We’ve already kissed so sharing chapstick is like nothing now.”

He attempts to grab for it again but as soon as he mentions the kiss you stiffen up and put up your other hand to hold him back as you glare at him.

“Don’t you ever bring up that vomit inducing, pathetic excuse of a kiss as a justification for anything or in any other fucking context either, ever the fuck again or I swear to fuck, Strider, I will make you regret it,” you hiss at him. He steps back slightly from you and shoves his hands in his pockets.

“Right. Sorry,” he says and you kind of feel bad for reacting like you did. “……………………………… so are you going to let me use the chap stick or……”

You throw up your hands, no longer feel any remorse and stomp over to the same trash can he had thrown his receipt in to and pull the chapstick out of your pocket. You turn around and see that he’s followed you and you hold your hand to up to him to make sure that he sees the chap stick before you angrily toss it into the garbage. You see his eyebrows pull together as he glares at you behind his shades.

“Dude. Did you seriously throw that away just so I couldn’t use it?”

You glare back at him. “You bet your scrawny fucking ass I did. You’re welcome to it now though,” you say, gesturing dramatically at the trash can. He stares at you a moment and then bursts into laughter. You cross your arms and increase your glare’s intensity.

“Oh my god dude, I seriously fucking missed you,” he says between his laughter. You’ve always been a sucker for his laugh and your anger drains out of you. You still try to hold your glare but you have to focus on holding back your smile too, so you’re doing a pretty shit job at it.

“God you’re such a fuck stick,” you tell him, finally giving in to your smile. “Remind me again why I forgave you?”

“Dude, have you seen my face? No one can stay mad at this literal example of prime, handsome perfection.”

“Oh, please Strider. The only thing your face is a ‘literal example’ of is a crotch stain. The only person who can even rival your ugly fucking mug is me and that’s really fucking saying something.”

“Nah bro, you got it backwards. You’re the only one who can beat me the good looks department.”

“What?”

“Uh,” he says and shoves his hands back in his pockets and looks away from you. “Just you know. You’re easy on the eyes and all that shit.”

You know he’s just fucking with you again so yo reply accordingly. “See, I told you wearing those stupid fucking shades all the time would fuck up your eye sight and you just proved me right, shit for brains.”

He opens his mouth to reply but before he can Roxy and Dirk race over to him and each grab one of his arms and try to pull him toward the entrance of the theater although he doesn’t budge.

“Daaave, come on!!!” Roxy says, pulling at him harder. “Rose said it’s time to go in and we still have to buy candy n stuff!” Dave bends down and scoops her up and you do the same with Dirk.

“And what makes you think we’re getting any candy?” Dave asks her.

“Uummmmm cuz Karkat said so,” she says with a guilty smile.

“He did not!” Dirk interjects as if Dave didn’t already know.

“You lied to me?” Dave asks, feigning a hurt voice. Before she can answer he heaves her over his shoulder and starts tickling her as best as he can through her winter coat.

“DAVE!!! NOOOOOO!! I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY!!!” Roxy screeches through her giggling. He ignores her and keeps tickling and as they go through the entrance door they garner the attention of everyone who’s in the lobby of the theater, although they’re both oblivious. Rose, Kanaya and John, who had got up from their bench, follow in behind you and Dirk and you all go and join Dave where he’s stopped in front of the concession counter with a wiggling Roxy still over his shoulder. As you all come up to stand beside him, he sets her down but still keeps a hold of both of her hands and she stares up at him with a huge smile while gasping for breath.

“Alright sweetheart, so here’s the deal. I’ll buy you and Dirk some candy but you gotta pinky promise not to lie to me ever again, okay ?” Dave tells her and holds out his pinky.

“Okay,” she readily agrees and wraps her tiny pinky around his before hugging him tightly around his legs.

“Dave,” Rose interjects. “It is way too late to be buying them candy. I don’t want to be up with them all night.”

“Rose, relax. I give Dirk sweets before bed all the time and he always goes to sleep fine.”

“Oh wow, sounds like you’re making top notch parenting decisions,” Rose retorts with a roll of her eyes. “and that’s great for you that sugar doesn’t affect Dirk but trust me Roxy goes crazy.”

“But we already pinky promised, Rose. I can’t break a pinky promise,” Dave argues and Dirk and Roxy both nod their heads in agreement.

“Ugh, fine!! But only ONE box and they have to share,” Rose gives in to the delight of her siblings.

After everyone buys their snacks and drinks you all file into the theater. Since it’s kind of late for a kids movie it’s pretty empty and you have the pick of seats. Rose chooses a row near the top and goes in first followed by Kanaya, you, Dave, John and the kiddos. After You, Rose and Kanaya are seated the kids push past John and Dave and Dirk runs over and crawls up to sit in Rose’s lap and Roxy proudly plops into the seat next to you as she smiles up at you. Dave having none of it, scoops her up and steals her seat but since he sets her in her lap she doesn’t protest to much.

There’s still a bit of time until the movie actually starts and as soon as everyone is seated the kids ask for their box of candy. Dave opens it for them and Roxy hops off his lap and goes to sit by Dirk so they can share. They finish it in about .03 seconds and when the previews start playing she comes back to sit with Dave again.

Everyone had bought their own snacks and you had decided to just get some candy of your own and a drink but about 45 minutes into the movie you start regretting your decision and lean over and tell Dave to give you some of his popcorn. Of course he doesn’t pass up an opportunity to mess with you.

“Fuck you dude. You wouldn’t share your chapstick so I’m not sharing my popcorn,” he says, turning his head towards you and he emphasizes his point by passing the tub of popcorn to John.

“Motherfucker, that’s not even remotely the same. I wouldn’t be rubbing my disgusting fucking mouth all over your popcorn,” you retort and realize you just set yourself of one of Dave’s classic sexual innuendos and brace yourself for it. To your surprise though he just does an awkward, dorky giggle and faces back forward.

“Give me some fucking popcorn!!” you whisper probably too loudly considering that the few other people in the theater turn to look at you.

“Nah.”

You face back forward with a dramatic sigh and cross your arms. You can already tell he’s deliberately trying to rile you up and arguing with him would be pointless. Although that usually doesn’t deter you, you figure it’s probably a good idea to NOT loudly yell expletives during a kids movie. You’re still pouting when you feel a small tap on your knee and look down to see Roxy smiling slyly up at you. She holds out her hand and you see that she stole some popcorn for you. You smile widely back at her and reach out to take it.

She sneaks you quiet a bit more, smiling and giggling the whole time and you make sure to enthusiastically eat it each time. She keeps glancing up at Dave to make sure he hasn’t noticed and he just continues to watch the movie, although you notice the small upturn of his lips.

After you’ve ate your fill of popcorn, you open one of your boxes of candy and start your own game of sneaking some to a *very* delighted Roxy who’s not even attempting to hid her giggles anymore. You feel an elbow nudge your side and you glace over at Kanaya expecting her to reprimand you for giving Rox more sugar. Instead, she holds out her hand, so you pour some of your candy into it and you stifle your own laugh when you see her start sneaking it to Dirk.

When Dirk first saw Kanaya’s out stretched hand he had nervously leaned away but as soon as he realized what she was up too he was practically in her lap. Rose doesn’t play dumb like Dave and leans forward to assess the situation and zones in on the box of candy in your hand.

“You’re staying up with Roxy tonight,” she haughtily informs you ( as if you sleep at night anyway) and as a response you just hold eye contact with her and “sneak” Roxy another handful of candy which she takes while sticking her tongue out at Rose. Rose rolls her eyes and huffs back into her seat but you have a sneaking suspicion that she’s as amused as Dave is.

You and Kanaya share another smile and keep on your shared mission of sugaring up the kids. By the time the movie is over both boxes of your candy are empty and both kids are very happy. As everyone stands up and gets ready to leave, Dave questions why so much of his popcorn is gone and Roxy screeches and attempts to hide behind you but Dave scoops her up and throws her over his shoulder and they leave the theater the same way they entered. Once back outside in the courtyard he sets her down, still holding her hands like he did earlier that night.

“So, where’d all my popcorn go, Rox?” he asks her.

“Uummmm,” she says, appearing to really give it some thought. “I gave some to Karkat?” she admits although it sounds like a question. Dave picks her back up, this time holding her normally against his side.

“Thanks for not lying to me,” he tells her and holds up his hand for a fist bump.

“Well, I couldn’t break a pinky promise,” she says and bumps his fist with her own.

“Wow, is this more great life advice with bog brother Dave?” Rose asks, coming up to stand beside them. “Copious amounts of candy are okay as long as you sleep fine at night and lying is alright as long as you’re not breaking a pinky swear.”

“Shit yea it is. Hope you were taking notes, Rose.”

“Oh, rest assured, Dave. I am *always* taking notes on the things you have to say.”

The two of them continue to banter back and forth for a few minutes before a loud yawn from Dirk grabs their attention and your group (aside from Roxy who really is wound up) all collectively decides it’s time to head home for the night. Kanaya and Rose lead the way again and this time Dirk walks between them and hold Kanaya’s hand as well. You and John walk together and argue over the plot of the movie. You don’t give a shit if it was just a kids movie, John’s still clearly missing the romantic undertone of the two central characters. Dave and Roxy bring up the rear and Roxy is practically dancing circles around him as she excitedly talks about anything and everything. Rose may have had a point about the candy thing.

After walking Kanaya home and witnessing her and Rose give each other the most awkward fucking hug you’ve ever had the misfortune of seeing, the rest of you make it home safely as well. As soon as you’re all through the front door, Rose kisses Dirk and Roxy good night and tells you and Dave to ‘have fun’. Well, you guess she really wasn’t messing around about you staying up with Roxy.

“Why am I included in this? I didn’t sneak the kids candy,” Dave argues back with her.

“Because asshole points, Dave,” she tells him and runs the rest of the way up the stairs.

“Sorry guys,” John says going up the stairs as well. “You’re on your own tonight.”

“Dude,” Dave says and John just waves him off.

“Well shit man, looks like it’s just us and the little heathens tonight,” Dave tells you.

“Guess so,” you say with a shrug. “So should we just like watch movies or something?”

Dirk and Roxy both nod in agreement at the movie suggestion so you all head upstairs to get ready bed and promise to meet back in the living room in ten minutes. Once back down stairs Dirk and Roxy have a slight argument over what movie to watch first but ultimately they decide on ‘Spirit- Stallion of the Cimarron’. Dave gets the movie started and the four of you settle in together on the couch, you and Dave on either end and the kids in the middle. Bec, who had greeted everyone when you got home, flops down on the floor just right of the couch. It’s not long into the movie that the kids get bored and get up and pull out some of the toys that Ms. Harley keeps stashed in the living room and once they do Dave slides closer to you on the couch, although you notice he leavesa few inches between the two of you.

“I’m pretty sure Rose just stuck us with the kids so that she could text Kanaya in peace,” he says and you let out a snort.

“That wouldn’t fucking surprise me. They’ve obviously got it bad for each other.”

“Shit yea they do. Man, I couldn’t believe Rose with her ‘not a date’ bullshit though. I swear she’s got like no game.”

You let out another snort. “Must run in the family.”

“Fuck you. I got so much game, dude All the game in fact. That must be why Rose has none, it all went to me. I’m like the Michael fucking Jordan of game, punting goals left and right, but like I’m the ball and the goal is people’s hearts, or some shit like that.”

“You are such a delusional fuck, I’m pretty sure the only sibling out of the four of you that has any chance of ever having ‘game’ is Roxy.”

“You wound me Karkat. I am literally wounded. How can you sit there and pretend that you haven’t been dazzled by my Strider charms?”

“I’m pretty sure I got a front row fucking seat to your so called ‘Strider Charms’ last night and I assure you that they were less than impressive,” you tell him and immediately feel like a douche for bringing up The Kiss.

“Hhmmm,” he hums and falls silent. You both stare back at the movie, pretending to watch it until a few minutes later, Dave speaks again.

“Was I really that bad at it?” he says quietly, and you know he’s asking about his kissing abilities. Your first instinct is to go into an overly exaggerated rant about just how much he sucked but when you glance at him he looks so fucking nervous and vulnerable that you swallow down the words. You’ve always been a sucker for vulnerable Dave. (Ok, so maybe you’re just sucker for Dave in general.) You decide to be truthful with him.

“It... wasn’t *completely* vomit inducing,” you grumble at him as you stare at the carpet. When he doesn’t say anything you glance back up at him to gauge his reaction and that arrogant shit monger is fucking beaming at you. He’s never had a problem interpreting your backhanded compliments. You roll your eyes at his obvious smugness. “Just maybe have better timing with the next person you lay those festering, shit mounds on,” you continue and his smile falters some.

“Yeah. That’s some pretty solid advice…. Sorry again… for being such a douche.”

“Yeah? Well I thought of a way you could make it up to me,” you tell him.

“Really? Man, just say the word and it’s done.”

“Shut your blithering pie hole and watch the god damn movie.”

Dave actually looks offended for a brief second but he snaps his mouth shut and smirks at you before turning his attention back to the movie. You bump him with your shoulder so he knows you really are just messing with him and he only stays quiet for about 3 minutes before he starts up his usual rambling he does whenever you watch movies together.

There’s only about 20 minutes left in the movie when Dirk comes over and climbs into Dave’s lap. He’s obviously sleepy and Dave stretches out on the couch and lays Dirk down next to him and lets him use his arm as a pillow. Dave is so tall that he can’t comfortably stretch out with you sitting on the couch and there’s some awkwardness as he tries t figure out what to do with his legs. You frown a little bit because normally he would just toss his legs across you, probably putting his disgusting feet in your face as he did, just because he knows how much it pisses you off. You’ve noticed that he’s been hesitant to touch you since his apology this morning. At first you had been offended, thinking it was still some hang up he had over your sexuality but the few times he had touched you today he had asked for permission first so you’re pretty sure he’s feeling guilty about the kiss that he feels he forced on you.

“You can put your legs on me, stupid,” you snap at him and even with only the soft light from the movie you can see his cheeks darken.

“Well shit Karkat, if you wanted my legs on you that bad you shoulda just said.”

“I literally *did* just fucking say so, dip shit. Now stop being an uncomfortable, awkward shit machine and get your fucking twig legs up here.”

He doesn’t argue anymore and stretches his legs across your lap. Dirk falls asleep in no time and Dave is out by the end of the movie as well. Roxy, who had been laying on the floor with Bec since Dirk left her, gets up and comes and sits next you on the arm of the couch.

“Can we watch another one?” she asks sweetly.

“I guess,” you say with a feigned grumble which she smiles at. “Go pick another one and I’ll put it on.”

She jumps off the couch and goes to look through the selection of movies. To your surprise she chooses an old classic, ‘The Sword in the Stone’, but she informs you that it has a wizard in it as if that perfectly explains her decision. You slip out from under Dave’s legs as smoothly as you can and pop the movie in for her. You should probably go and sit on the chair instead of risking waking Dave up but fuck that, you missed him, and so you lift his legs and slide back into your original spot.

Roxy climbs back onto the arm of the couch and immediately launches in to a nonstop talk fest about anything and everything going on in the movie. You had thought no one could talk more than Dave during movies but woo boy does Roxy prove you wrong. It’s pretty fucking adorable to say the least and you encourage her by asking questions and occasionally adding your own input as well.

Roxy makes it through the whole movie without any signs of slowing down and you let her pick out another movie to watch. She picks ‘Aristocats’ this time and instead of her own commentary, she basically quotes the whole movie to you which is just as adorable as her non stop chatter. By the end of the movie she seems to finally be winding down a bit but not enough to actually go to sleep, so she picks out yet another movie and chooses ‘Mulan’.          

She stays surprisingly quiet for this one and around the time that Mulan gets to the army camp Roxy climbs across your lap and up Dave’s legs and settles herself down against his stomach and chest. She’s asleep almost instantly. You smile and settle back against the couch to finish the remainder of the movie but at some point before the end you fall asleep as well, sitting up and with Dave’s legs across your lap.

It’s still dark out when you’re awoken by the sound of foot steps and you crack open an eye to see Rose padding across the living room until she gets to where Dave and the kids are still asleep on the couch.

“Dave,” she whispers and gently pokes at his cheek. You feel him tense up almost instantly and hear his breathing hitch as he comes awake and your heart aches as it always does when you’re reminded of his awful upbringing.

“Shhh, it’s just me. Rose. It’s okay,” she tells him, still whispering and you can feel Dave relax.

“Rose? What’s up? Are you okay?” he asks her, his voice foggy with sleep.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she replies, waving his concern away. “Kanaya just asked me out on another date though! Like an official, only us, fancy date!” She’s still whispering but you can her the excitement in her voice.

“Nice. That’s fucking awesome, Rose,” he says and gives her a thumbs up.

“I know!” she says in the same excited tone. “I’m sorry I woke you up, I just *had* to tell someone.”

“S’all good.”

“Ok, I’ll let you go back to sleep now. Do you want me to take one of the kids with me?”

“Nah,” he replies already falling back asleep. Rose smiles fondly down at him before she gets up and goes and grabs some blankets. She makes sure that her siblings are all covered and you’re surprised when she covers you up as well. You feign sleep, not wanting to embarrass her and as you hear her footsteps ascend the stairs you drift back to sleep for real.

\---

The next day you’re awoken by a very excited Jane and Jake waking up Dirk and Roxy to come and play with them. Roxy pops up as if she just slept a solid 12 hours and a slightly less perky Dirk follows after her. Roxy tells the kids to follow her upstairs because Rose has Jane and Jake’s candy and popcorn in her purse and they all stampede up the stairs together. There’s no chance of getting back to sleep now and you and Dave both groan, regretting your sleeping positions. He stretches and then sits up and groggily rubs at his face.

“Morning, sunshine,” he says and starts to put his arm around you before he catches himself and lets it drop back to his side.

“Morning, fuckface,” you respond and let your head drop against his shoulder. You’re not usually one to initiate contact but you want to let him know that you’re okay with him touching you still. Not to mention, you’re a disgusting fuck who’s secretly in love in with him and enjoys contact with him for purely selfish reasons…. But it’s way too earlier for you to worry about that fucking shit. “And don’t talk to me until you’ve brushed your nasty teeth. Your breath smells like something Bec dragged in.”

“Like you’ve got room to talk, dude. You’re breathe smells like if someone took a dump on a butt.”

“Ugh, why do you always have to take thing to the next level of grossness?”

“Cuz it pisses you off,” he explains and before you can argue with him any further Ms. Harley comes into the living room and you both turn your attentions to her.

“Good morning, boys. Did you all have fun last night?” she questions.

“Yea, it was pretty dope,” Dave says and you nod in agreement.

“That’s great!” she says smiling at you both. “So, I was thinking that since it’s all of our visitor’s last day here we could do something special together. Maybe take them to the same beach we went to for Dirk’s birthday?”

“Yea, that’d be tight, Ms. J… Rose has a hot date with Kanaya tonight though. Do you think we’d be back in time for her to get ready?” Dave asks and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t think it was cute as hell how much he watches out for Rose (and the rest of his siblings) without even realizing it.

“Of course! We’ll just have to get going soon. I wouldn’t want to get in the way of any ‘hot date’s’,” Ms. Harley tells him with a wink.

“Sweet. Let’s do this then,” Dave says and stands up. He offers you his hand and pulls you up from the couch.

The three of you separate and go off in different directions so you can find everyone and let them know the plan, so they can start getting ready. Less than an hour later everyone is all set and you all pile into Ms. Harley’s car and Mr. Egbert’s minivan. The kids want to stay together so they, along with John and Dave, ride with Mr. Egbert and you, Rose and Bec pile into Ms. Harley’s car. Rose says she’ll sit in the back with you so that Bec can again get the front seat.

The drive there is pleasant and you talk to Rose about her up-coming date with Kanaya and even try to give her some pointers.

“Look Lalonde, I wouldn’t stress to much about tonight because if I know Kanaya – and I do – she’s pretty fucking into you.”

“Hhmmm.. well even if that is the case, I still want to continue to give her cause to keep liking me.”

“See, it’s shit like that right there that makes her like you though. You care enough about wanting her to like you but you’ve never been a fake asshole about it either. So, just be yourself with her and you’ll be fine.”

“Maybe,” she reluctantly agrees although you see the slightest smile on her lips. “Oh, before I forget,” she continues and reaches into her purse and pulls out a small piece of paper which she hands to you. “Here.”

“tentacleTherapist?” you ask as you read it.

“Yes. That’s my chumhandle. I thought maybe we could keep in touch after I leave? We never did get an opportunity to discuss any romance novels and I was sincere in my offer about that. Plus, you know, we do share the common interest of my brother’s well beings now as well,” she finishes, her hands working at smoothing nonexistent wrinkles from the skirt she’s wearing.

“Yeah. I’d like that, keeping in touch,” you assure her and pull out your phone so that you can add her on your messenger and she pulls out her own phone when it pings.

“carcinoGeneticist?” she asks and you nod at her. She slips her phone back into her pocket and continues. “Just so you know, I am truly glad you came into Dave and Dirk’s lives. I don’t know how much Dave has told you about their upbringing but.. their abuse… his especially.. really was extensive, excessively so actually. And I know he can be, for lack of better word, an ass but he really does try and I really do believe that you… and Ms. Harley… have been a positive influence on his life. I just want to make sure you know that and also that I’m thankful for it.”

“Well, you’re right about the him being an ass part,” you say because you can’t just accept a compliment. “But that’s probably why we get along so well.”

Rose gives you a knowing smirk and you cross your arms and turn to look out the window, although you don’t miss the knowing smirk that Ms. Harley is also shooting you in the rearview mirror. Fucking broads, man. Thankfully you’ve reached the beach by this time and you hop out of the car as soon as you can because the conversation veered way to far into your ‘uncomfortable as fuck’ zone. You’re not afraid to admit the speed at which you retreat into the comfort of Dave and John’s company.

The afternoon flies by and everyone has a blast, although you think the four kids had an especially good time. Dirk, having been to the beach before, took delight in being able to show them the ropes and they spent most of their time collecting shells and chasing seagulls. Dave apparently had decided it was ok to use the camera you got him again and you wonder why you were ever upset that he stopped because you swear he has snapped at least 612,413 pictures of you alone. He must be making up for lost time. IT’S around four o’clock when you finally head back home and everyone rides in their same spots. Rose pulls you and Ms. Harley into a conversation regarding what she should wear and how she should do her makeup and although you could honestly give a rat’s ass about it, you’re grateful for the neutral topic.

Once back at home, she wastes no time going to get ready and Kanaya arrives promptly at 6:30 to pick her up. Dave, not wanting to miss one of his last opportunities to mess with Rose, makes her and Kanaya pose as if it’s prom while he snaps photos of them like a proud parent. Although Rose acts as if she thoroughly fed up with his bullshit, even you can tell that she’s secretly loving it.

After she and Kanaya finally leave for their date the rest of you settle in for a night of board games, food and movies. Dave takes a seat next to you and you can’t even attempt to deny the joy you feel when he lets his knee rest against yours. It’s a great last night together and the kids, as well as the adults, spend it laughing and just enjoying one another’s company.

Around ten or so, everyone, aside from you, heads upstairs for bed although Dave comes back down once he he’s gotten his little brother and sister to sleep. You had both agreed earlier to wait up together for Rose and you watch a movie to kill some time. You can tell Dave is still nervous about taking liberties when it comes to touching you and so you again take the initiative and slide closer to him on the couch. Although he doesn’t outwardly show it, you can tell he’ happy about the contact and when he jokingly does a ‘yawn and stretch’,you elbow him in the side but lean in closer so he can rest his arm around you better.

When Rose does finally get home around 2 am you’re still in the same position and you both are glaringly obvious when you break apart. Rose is so deliriously happy though that she doesn’t even notice and you can’t help but smile at her.

“So I take it the date was off the hook?” Dave asks her and she rolls her eyes at him.

“Yes, Dave. It was, as you so lamely put it, ‘off the hook’.”

“Don’t be jealous that you can’t get away with wording shit as coolly as I do, Rose.”

“Yes, you’re right Dave. I am soooo jealous of your ability to word things using out of date phrases. How can I live my life knowing I can never be as outdatedly cool as my lame big brother?”

“So seriously, how was your date?” you ask to interrupt them before they can continue with their pissing contest.

“Oh,” She says and comes and plops herself between you and Dave, which you know is just her nonverbal way of continuing to fuck with him. “It was amazing! Kanaya’s amazing!”

“So, you’re going to keep in touch with her then?” you ask, ignoring Dave’s obvious pouting on the other side of Rose.

“You bet, as Dave likes to call it, your sweet ass I am,” she replies, causing Dave’s chees to flush and his pout to deepen.

“Ignoring the ass comment, I’m really happy for you Lalonde. Kanaya really is an amazing person.”

You continue talking about the date and Kanaya’s awesomeness with Rose and soon Dave, not able to resist joining a conversation, gives up his pout and joins in. It’s a nice way to spend Rose’s last night in Seattle.

\---

The next morning is a flurry of activity as six people get ready to leave. Although Jake, Roxy and Jane spend most of it playing with Dirk, it’s still a whirlwind as Rose and Mr. Egbert try to gather all of their toys, presents, clothing and other miscellaneous shit. The time for them to leave comes waaaay to quickly.

The Egbert’s hit the road first since they’re driving and it’s a sweetly, sad moment when the kids cry at having to leave one another. Rose, Dave and Mr. Egbert all promise them that they will let them facetime each other at least once a week. John give’s you all big, long hugs and you don’t even mind admitting that you’re going to miss that goofy fuck.

An hour or so later it’s time to say good bye to Rose and Roxy as well and it’s quite emotional to say the least. Rose gives you and Ms. Harley unexpectedly long hugs and she whispers in your ear that she meant what she said yesterday and to make sure to message her. Roxy flies into Ms. Harley’s arms after Rose is done hugging her and showers her face with kisses as she thanks her for being ‘so rad’. She hops over to you next and gives you a big long hug as well and tells you that ‘she still loves you even though Dave gets to marry you someday’. You look at Dave for clarification about that but he just shrugs his shoulders at you, although his cheeks are noticeably red.

When it’s time for the Stilonde siblings to say their goodbyes to one another, you and Ms. Harley decide to step into the hallway to give them a few moments alone. Before you leave, it doesn’t escape your notice that this time Rose and Dave skip the dramatics and instead cling to one anther as they say their goodbyes.

When you hear the cab pull up outside, you and Ms. H return to the entryway and say good bye to the Lalonde sisters once again as they grab their bags and head out the door. Dirk and Roxy are sobbing and you can tell that it’s taking everything for Dave and Rose to hold back their tears as well. You all go outside with them and you and Dave help load the suit cases into the trunk. After one more hug to everyone, Rose and Roxy get into the backseat of the cab and Dave closes the door for them. Roxy, waves to everyone and blows kisses but Rose, you can tell, only locks eyes with Dave as the cab pulls away.

The four of you stand in the driveway in silence long after their cab is gone. Dave had picked up a still sobbing Dirk and cradled him against his chest and shoulder. Eventually Ms. Harley lays a hand on Dave’s shoulder and he nods as if in agreement and heads back inside. You and Ms. H follow being him and once inside he turns to finally face you.

“I’m going to head up to my room for a while. I think me and Dirk need to have a little bro time right now.”

“Of course, sweetie,” Ms. Harley tells him. “Take as long as you need.”

Dave nods and heads up the stairs and after talking to Ms. Harley for a few minutes you head up as well. You stop in front of Dave’s door and listen for a moment and you can hear him mumbling comforting reassurances to a still crying Dirk. As much as you want to see and comfort both of them, you decide it’s probably best to give them some alone time and you head to your room to get ready for your classes that start back up tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr [ @ nuwanda717 ](//www.tumblr.com/blog/nuwanda717)


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and Karkat talk about sexuality
> 
> Dave tries to be romantic, Karkat ruins it
> 
> Something happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so I've put off posting this chapter because I wanted to include Dave talking to Karkat about sexuality shit as he works out his own identity (as I assume he did on the meteor) but I also didn't want to bombard all of you with my own thoughts and beliefs either. So just a heads up, I did include those conversations so there will be some opinions in this chapter but I also wanted to present them in a way that two, 19 year old, emotionally stunted, embarrassed boys, who are still figuring their own shit out would discuss them.. If anything bothers any of you my inbox is always open, just don't be an asshole please.  
> Also, honestly if you want to, you can skip over those two entire conversations, it won't take away from the overall story tbh. It's just Dave trying to work shit out, Karkat trying to repress his feelings and both of them being sickeningly sweet to one another... 
> 
> Oh and TW this chapter because Karkat does use the word retard, although it's mostly just in reference to a movie quote.

The week after the Egberts and Lalondes leave is hectic to say the least. Classes start back up for you and Dave but on top of the craziness of that, Dirk has a pretty bad depressive episode and withdraws into himself. According to Dave he blames himself for Rose and Roxy having to leave because ‘if it wasn’t for him, Dave could have lived with them’. It makes you furious that in his short life he’s been given reason to think thoughts like that but you try to channel your rage into reassuring him and doing everything you can think of to help him feel better. Dave and Ms. Harley do the same and Dave takes him in for an extra therapy session as well. Even Bec won’t leave his side and you’ve noticed that he’s piled all his favorite chew toys onto Dirk’s bed as an offering.

Dave ends up keeping him home from Preschool all week and Ms. Harley of course agrees to watch over him while you’re both at class. Despite everyone’s best efforts, Dirk ends up staying withdrawn for longer than he normally does and it’s about a week and half before he starts to pull out of it and act like himself again, much to everyone’s relief.

Despite all of the craziness, you and Dave slip easily back into the effortless ease of your friendship, although there are a few notable differences. He still doesn’t touch you as often as he used too and he seems kind of (extremely) awkward sometimes. Hes even got into the habit of giving you the most random and weird compliments but you just figure that it’s some weird, ironic way he’s come up with to make up for his bullshit over Christmas break. He’s also told you that he’s going to start trying to be more open about his ‘feelings and shit’. This apparently includes talking about his bullshit hang-ups with sexuality and you are, embarrassingly, his go to source of info.

“So like, how did you first know that you liked dudes or weren’t straight or whatever,” he asks you late one night soon after classes started back up.

“What?” you ask him, snapping your head over to look at him where he’s sitting on the couch in your room.

“Like, you know. Did you have a defining moment or whatever when you realized you weren’t straight.”

“I don’t fucking know,” you grumble at him and turn back to your computer screen. He should know by now that talking about your personal shit is your least favorite subject.

“Really? So, was it just something you always knew then?”

“God dammit, I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s fucking personal Strider! Can’t you find someone else to appease your fucking sexuality…. curiosity or whatever the fuck!!?”

“Heh, is this where I insert a comment about how you’re the only one I want to appease me sexually?” he says and fucking winks at you when you glare over your shoulder at him. Your face heats up immediately and you’re only slightly mollified when his does the same and he looks away and coughs. “Uh… but seriously dude, you’re like the only one I would actually talk about this shit with and uh, I’m kinda still trying to figure all this out, ya know?”

You turn away from him again and fall silent. You can’t even deny the jolt of happiness that went through you when Dave said you’re the only one he’d talk about this with because your dumb brain equates that to meaning that he trusts you or you’re special or something. You quickly dismiss those thoughts though because it probably just means that you’re just pathetic enough that he doesn’t have to worry about you judging him. Either way though, when he said that, he pretty much guaranteed a response from you. He’s quiet until you speak again.

“I… I don’t if I necessarily had a defining moment,” you say and turn back to face him. He stares back at you and gives you his full attention. “I remember back in like, fucking kindergarten when all of us would run around like idiots during recess trying to kiss each other and even then I didn’t have a preference about wanting to kiss only boys or only girls…. But like I wasn’t the only one and it didn’t seem like a big deal. I mean I was a fucking kindergartner so like, sexual preference wasn’t even a thing I was close to thinking about back then, it’s just the first time I can remember not caring about it you know…. Sorry, this is stupid. I’m stupid. You didn’t ask about my whole life story, I don’t fucking know. Fuck.” You turn away from him again and stare down at your desk feeling stupid. You hear him get up from the couch and walk over to you.

“Hey,” he says with a soft touch to your cheek that directs your gaze up to meet his. “You’re not stupid and I’ve never thought *anything* you say is stupid. Maybe awesomely ridiculous but never stupid, dude. And like if you ever do want to tell me your whole life story I am so fucking down to listen, yo.”

You snort and shake your head but end up giving him a small smile. He keeps talking when you do.

“And like, the kindergarten story was exactly the kind of thing I was asking about. Like all those little things you can look back on now and be like ‘ohhh that fucking makes sense now.’ So, if you want to keep talking that’d be dope but if not then don’t worry about it dude. It’s cool.”

“I mean if you want me to bore you to death I guess I’ll keep talking,” you say crossing your arms.

“Sweet,” he responds and steps behind your chair and wheels you over to your bed. Without missing a beat, he comes back around and flops himself full length down on to your bed and reaches an arm down and pulls out an unopened bag of chips from underneath your bed. As if it was the most natural thing in the world, he opens the chips and settles them next to him on the bed as he rests his head against his propped-up hand and stares up at you expectantly as he waits for you to keep talking. You stare at him with your mouth hanging open.

“Did you seriously fucking hide a stash of junk food under my bed?” you demand.

“No?” he says with a shit eating grin as he holds the bag out to you. You really should throw a shit fit about this, especially since he’s going to get nasty crumbs all over your fucking bed but he’s just so ridiculously adorable that you can’t even bring yourself to be mad. So instead you just heave a sigh and roll your eyes as you reach over and grab some chips for yourself.

“All right, so kindergarten is maybe the first time I can remember not having a preference and then, hmmm, I guess I had a crush on Terezi starting in like, I don’t know, first or second grade? There was a couple male celebrities I liked but I don’t think I realied they were crushes until later. Fifth grade is the first time I can remember definitely having a crush on a boy, I guess.”

“Was it Sollux?” Dave asks, interrupting you.

“Ew, no and don’t talk with food in your mouth you disgusting fuck,” you say trying to convey how repulsed you are through the glare that you shoot at him. “It was a kid named Eridan. He was this rich douche, came from a good family and all that shit. We were friends and for a long time I thought my fascination with him was just because I wanted to be him, have what he had…”

“What changed?”

“A stupid fucking sleepover. It was co-ed and we of course played all the cliché, bullshit party games.”

“So what? You like, realized while playing spin the bottle that you like dick too?”

“Dave! Can you just for fucking once *not* word things in the most disgusting way possible?” He at least has the decency to look embarrassed and apologizes so you keep talking. “And it wasn’t fucking spin the bottle. We did play that but there was a boy kiss girl only rule. It was truth or dare and two boys or two girls kissing was apparently fucking okay because it was a dare.”

“So, you and the Aidan guy got dared to kiss each other?”

“Eridan. And yup, we sure as fuck did. Only we had to make out for 60 seconds, not just like a quick kiss or anything.”

“How’d that go? Did you have an epiphany and declare your undying love for each other or something.”

“Ha, fuck you dude. No, we both made a big production about how ‘gross’ it was and I spent the rest of the night hating myself because I actually liked it. A lot. I ended up faking sick that night so I could go home.”

“Whoa, really? So liking guys wasn’t just something you were always okay with?”

“Are you fucking serious? Is that a serious fucking question,” you ask and from his face you can see that it is.

“Yeah man. I mean, you just seem so comfortable about it. I just thought.. I don’t know, that it was something you’ve always known and been okay with.”

“Fuck no. God, I don’t even know if that’s a thing that’s possible in this piece of shit, fucked culture we’re raised in. But um, the sleepover kiss happened not long after my sister passed away and my mom had been really driving the ‘mistake who shouldn’t have been born’ in my brain pretty hard around that time too, so at that point I just thought that me liking boys and girls was just proof that I really was some kind of mutant freak who should have never been born. It fucked me up for quite awhile.”

“Dude.”

“Yeah, I mean it’s whatever now. It was a long time ago,” you say with a shrug of your shoulders, even though the tremor in your voice belies your feigned indifference.

“No it’s not man. I don’t care how fucking long it’s been, it’s still bullshit,” he argues as he sits up on the bed, moving the now empty chip bag to the night stand. “Come here” he says and grabs your hand to pull you from the chair and into his arms for a hug as he stands up as well. “I wish I had fucking time powers or something so I could go back and save you from her,” he whispers against your ear.

“Hhhmmm,” you say and pull away from him. “The feelings mutual dude. It’s not like you had it any easier.”

“Aw, see we could have saved each other man. Knights in shining armor and all that romantic bullshit that you love so much,” he teases.

“Shut the fuck up. You’re so lame, I swear to god,” you say back, although you’re smiling at him.

“You love it though,” he says, humor clear in his voice. His smile fades as he continues speaking. “We don’t have to talk about this anymore.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m okay,” you say and he gives you a doubting look. “I promise, I am. I’m going to lay down this time though,” you tell him, thinking he’ll take your place in the chair. As you scrape the chip crumbs off of the bed though he climbs across and settles down on the opposite side and turns and props his head on his hand again so he can look at you. It’s the first time he’s laid in bed with you since before Christmas and you can’t help but feel warmed by the fact that he’s comfortable enough to do that again. When the sheets are crumb free you lay down as well and turn on your side to face him, mirroring his position.

“So when did you like, become okay with it? I don’t know if that’s the right wording,” he says once you’re settled.

“No, that wording’s fine. Um, I don’t know. It took me awhile I guess. I mostly just tried to ignore it for a long time but it wasn’t ever something I could make go away and I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone about back then either. I was obsessed with Terezi for like fucking ever and I was afraid that if I told her she’s never see me as a romantic possibility after that and Sollux had his own bullshit going on, so I spent a long time just working it out and coming to terms with it in my own head before I ever told anyone about it.”

“What did your mom do when you came out?” he asks.

“I never fucking came out to her. I guess some people would argue that that’s homophobic in its self but my mom’s a fucking psycho so it was like, self-preservation, you know?”

“Ya ain’t gotta explain that to me, yo.”

Yeah, I know,” you agree with him sadly. “And like my only goal through high school was getting the fuck away from her as soon as possible so I guess I figured it be fucking pointless to come out to her anyway since she’ll never be an active part of my life.”

“True that, man,” he agrees and gives you a fist bump. God, he’s fucking ridiculous you think fondly.

“Everyone that I did come out to was super supportive though and it was like a positive thing over all,” you continue on.

“When did you end up telling them?” he asks.

“Um, it was like during the winter of 9th grade. I don’t remember the exact date. I did tell Ms. Harley months before everyone else, though.”

“9th GRADE?! I thought the Eridan kiss thing happened in 5th grade?”

“Yeah. So?”

“I’m just… surprised that it took you that long.”

“Have I given you the impression that I’m someone who works through their problems quickly, Dave? Fuck, I need at least a year to act like a belligerent baby about shit before I even attempt to actively solve any problems in my life,” you joke and you feel proud when he smiles at you. “Seriously though, it took me just as long to work up the courage to come out as pan to my friends as it took me to realize that’s what I am.”

“How did you know that you were pan specifically. Like how did you know you weren’t gay or I guess like bi or whatever?”

You heave a sigh before you answer him. “Well, I *knew* I was attracted to women because I was in love with Terezi for so long and there were other girls I was attracted to too, so I knew I wasn’t gay. That was the easy part for me. Accepting that I was attracted to men too, and that it was ok, was what took me longer.”

“So then why do you identify as pan instead of bi? Like bi is because you’re attracted to both genders right? So why do you need to say pan? Is that like to include trans dudes and trans chicks?” he asks and have to stop yourself from getting riled up as you remember that this is Dave and he’s genuinely asking because he wants to understand.”

“Well no, because trans men *are* men and trans women *are* women, there doesn’t need to be a special fucking category or distinction for them. But there’s more than just the two genders, like nonbinary and gender fluid people,” you explain and Dave nods his understanding. “So being pansexual just means that our attraction to people isn’t based on gender or like, we can be attracted to any-fucking-one of any-fucking-gender basically. Does that make sense?” you ask and again Dave nods. “But also with that, being bi doesn’t just have to mean only male and female attraction either.”

“Explain.”

“Well, I mean I guess for some people it is but for others being bi means their gender plus whatever the fuck gender of the person who they’re attracted to, so being bi can also mean attraction to people of any gender.”

“So then is there even a difference between bi and pan?” he asks.

“Not much I guess but honestly I think it depends on the person. Like sexuality is so deeply fucking personal, dude. No one can fucking define that for you but yourself, you know? You just gotta find what you feel fits you and what you feel comfortable with.”

“Mmmhhmm, makes sense. How’d you ultimately decide you identify as pan though?”

“Oh god, this is so embarrassing,” you say and cover your face with the hand not supporting your head. Dave reaches over and pulls your hand away from your face and lays it back on the bed. He keeps his hand on top of yours and lightly rubs your fingers with his own. Fuck, he’s been so awkward about touching but he still does nonchalant ,little affectionate things like this, like he doesn’t even realize hes doing them, like he’s just inherently affectionate and it kills your heart.

“Hey, I told you earlier that I don’t think anything you have to say is stupid, dude and I meant it. You don’t have to tell me though, like you said this shit is deeply personal, so I won’t be upset if you don’t wanna.”

You clear your throat while you mentally squash down your embarrassment and continue. “I didn’t initially identify as pan, I tried out a fuck ton of different phrases trying to figure myself out actually.”

“That didn’t make you feel, I don’t know… flakey? Like maybe you were wrong about your sexuality since you couldn’t figure out what the hell to call it?”

“Fuck yes it did. But honestly I think that bullshit is what drew me to pansexuality in the first place. I was balls deep in the online gay community while I was trying to figure myself out and most people were awesome as fuck. Understanding and helpful and all that shit but there were also the almighty assholes out there that try to shit on people who aren’t exactly are of who they are. Like ope, you figured out something new about yourself? Well that must fucking mean you were lying before and are just looking for attention. I fucking hate douche bags like that but back then they really did make me feel like a piece of shit and question myself. I eventually just got to a point where I realized what fucktards they were and I knew by that point that gender didn’t matter to me and when I chose to identify as pan it just felt fucking right. Like, fuck, I could care less about your gender or anything else, just don’t be a fucking asshole.”

“Hmm, sounds like a philosophy you’d have,” he says smiling at you.

“Shut up,” you say, smiling back at him. You both fall quiet for a few moments before Dave speaks again.

“Do you want me to sleep here tonight? I know some of the shit we talked about was kinda heavy so I don’t want to leave you alone if you’re not like, you know, not okay or whatever,” he offers.

Fuck, that makes your heart hurt so fucking bad because holy shit he can be so fucking sweet and thoughtful. You want him to stay. You want him to sleep in your bed. You want to fall asleep holding his hand again. You want to wake up in the morning with him next to you. You want him so fucking bad and it’s because of that that you force yourself to tell him no.

“No, I’m okay. I’ll be fine,” you tell him and you have to mentally punch yourself as your brain tries to register the look on his face as disappointment.

“Alright then bro, I’ll let you get to sleep. You look all adorable and tired,” he says as he crawls over you to get out of the bed. You swear he purposefully tries to dig his elbows and knees into you as much as possible and you make sure to adequately cuss him out as he does so.

“Night, dude,” he says laughing as he heads to your door.

“Night asshat,” you tell him in return as you launch a pillow at his head.

The pillow misses him completely as he shuts the door before it even had a chance to reach him but you don’t miss the last cocky smirk he sends your way before he does. God, he’s such a shit you think and fuck, you’ve got it so bad for him. You are so royally fucked.

 

\---

 

About a week passes before Dave brings up the sexuality topic again. It’s late at night of course, and he’s hanging in your room as he does most nights after putting Dirk to sleep. You’re finishing up on the last of your homework when he mentions it.

“So like, how were you sure you were pan before actually having sex with someone?” he asks calmly, like he’s fucking asking you about the weather or something.

“Dave, what the fuck?” you say swiveling your chair around to face him. “We are *not* fucking talking about that.”

“Nah, bro I’m serious. Aren’t you scared that you’ll like, think you’re all into a dude and be like oh shit yeah, I wanna get up all in his business but then what if when you do, you’re like whoa, this store hella ain’t carrying the brand I’m looking for?”

“Strider,” you say, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I will never cease to be amazed by the nonsensical bullshit that spews form your mouth. And I don’t even know how to fucking answer that anyway.”

“Oh, so you’re a virgin too?”

“I DID NOT FUCKING SAY THAT!”

“Ok. So, you’re not a virgin?”

“I didn’t fucking say that either, god dammit! It’s none of your fucking business Dave,” you snap at him and your face might as well be the surface of the sun, it feels so hot.

“Oh shit, so you have had sex, huh? With who? Terezi?”

“We are not fucking talking about this!! I’m fucking serious, Dave.”

“Oh god, you’re so obvious man. So, was TZ your only one? Oh, fuck. Wait. Have you had sex with a guy too? Sollux?” he asks completely fucking serious. You’re so pissed at him that you’re stunned into silence for a moment but it doesn’t last long.

“Fuck off, Dave! Fuck right the fuck off! It is none of your god damn business. And I swear to fuck that if you bring up me and Sollux together in any sexual reference ever the fuck again, I will fuck you up!!”

You get out of your chair and flop on to your bed and cover your face with one of your pillows because you are so fucking done. You feel your bed dip down and warmth as Dave rubs one of your arms that’s currently keeping the pillow pressed to your face.

“Sorry dude. I didn’t mean to be an asshole,” he tells you.

“Yeah, well you sure as fuck failed with that one,” you tell him, unsure if he can even her your muffled voice through the pillow. You knock his hand away so in case he can’t hear you he’ll still know how pissed you are.

“Obviously,” he agrees and pulls lightly on your arm. “Look at me, please.”

You hesitate a moment but ultimately pull the pillow away from your face, although you make sure to give him your best glare.

“I’m sorry man,” he apologizes again. “I won’t ask about it anymore. Can we still we still rap about my original question though?”

“I fucking guess,” you sigh, giving in way to easily. “As long as you promise that we’re not actually going to ‘rap’ about it.”

“That might be fun though,” he says with a smirk and you glare and begin to bring the pillow over your face again. “Okay, okay. I swear just talking, no raps!” he laughs and pulls the pillow away again.

"I really don’t know how to answer your fucking question though, Dave,” you tell him and he frowns back at you. The disappointed look on his face makes you keep talking. “I guess, I don’t know, if you’re basing your whole sexual identity on your attraction to one person than maybe that’s an issue in itself? I’m mean I know I had things that clued me in before and after my crush on Eridan and I’ve definitely had crushes on more than just one dude.”

“Who? Sollux?” Dave asks interrupting you and you swear to fuck…

“What the fuck did I literally just tell you about mentioning me and Sollux together?! Me and Sollux have never felt anything even slightly fucking romantic for each other. He’s like my fucking brother, okay?! That’s fucking it.”

“Okay,” he concedes with a bright red face.

“Okay. Now where the fuck was I? Oh yeah…so I had crushed on other guys. John for example and stupid celebrities, some loser who lived on my block, so I guess for me shitty sex wouldn’t make me question my sexuality? And I mean I’m sure plenty of people’s, whether straight, gay, bi or whatever the fuck, first time sucks fucking ass and it doesn’t like, make them completely turned off from whatever gender person they slept with? God, does that even make fucking sense. This is so fucking embarrassing.”

“Nah, man that helps actually. So, you’re saying like, it doesn’t matter what the fuck you are, sex can still be really fucking bad and like even if the person was a dude that doesn’t mean that sex with all dudes is going suck.”

“Well, yeah… kinda.. I guess? But like, I’m sure there are people that have realized they’re not attracted to the gender they thought they were after having sex with someone. And that’s okay! Like, I think it’s okay to explore and experiment and if someone ends up changing their sexual orientation that doesn’t make them a liar or wrong or not valid or whatever. It’s just like part of growing and finding yourself. I mean fuck, even though I knew I liked all genders, I still changed what I identified as multiple times. I don’t fucking know. Have I mentioned how fucking embarrassing this is, Dave?!”

“Yeah, dude. Like a million times. We can stop talking about this anytime you want,” he offers and you shake your head to let him know you’re still okay talking about this despite your embarrassment. When he sees you’re fine with continuing he asks another question. “Do you ever worry that since your pan you might, like, cheat on whoever you’re in a relationship with?”

“WHAT?!”

“Just like, you know,” he continues, now the embarrassed one. “Do you think like... If you were dating a chick you would miss being with a dude or vice versa?”

“Okay, I’m going to try real fucking hard not to take that offensively Strider. Just because someone is bi or pan or whatever doesn’t mean they’re some sex crazed idiot that has to routinely have fucking sex with all genders they’re attracted to for them to be sexually satisfied. If someone’s going to cheat, they’re going to cheat and it’s not because they’re bi or pan or gay or straight or lesbian. It’s because they’re a fucking asshole. Plain and simple.”

You’re breathing hard by the time you finish that particular rant. You’re still laying flat on your bed and Dave’s still sitting and staring down at you. He reaches out and brushes your hair out of your face.

“Sorry my questions are dumb as fuck,” he says and you immediately feel bad.

“No. They’re not dumb. I know you’re just trying to understand. It’s me who’s stupid for getting so worked up when you’re just trying to figure things out.”

“It’s cool, man. You now I enjoy your rants, even when they’re directed at me,” he teases you and you smile up at him. He stops messing with your hair and he looks embarrassed before he starts speaking again. “Hey, for real though. Thanks for talking about this shit with me. I know it’s bullshit and annoying but it’s really fucking rad having a friend I trust enough to talk about this with.”

Oh fuck, he does trust you. Your throat closes up so you just nod dumbly at him and do your best to give him a smile. He smiles back and stands up from the bed and stretches. You have to avert your gaze when his shirt rises up and reveals some of his stomach. Fucking shit.

“Alright bro, it’s pretty late so Ima go to bed now. Thanks again for shooting the shit with me tonight,” he says and gives you a fist bump before he heads out of your room and to his own. You sit up and turn out your lamp and lay back down with a sigh. God you are so fucking in love with him. You hate how you wish you could be with him. How you wish you could be what he wants. How much you wish that he wasn’t straight. You know that’s never going to happen so you really need to stop your shit and get your feelings under control. All Dave will ever see you as is a friend and you need to fucking focus on being the friend that he needs because that’s all that matters. Fuck your feelings.

\---

They next few weeks pass by relatively uneventful. Dave brings up a few more questions about sexuality and gender but nothing like your first couple jam sessions with him. It still makes you feel good that he trusts you enough to come to you with stuff like this and you like to think that you’re getting better at keeping your feelings for him under wraps. Not that they’ve dissipated or anything, unfortunately enough, but as long as Dave doesn’t know about them then you don’t fucking care.

You exit your creative writing class one day in early Febuary to find Dave waiting for you like he normally does, only this time he’s noticeably tense. You stomp over to him so you can start the walk to your next shared class together.

“Hey, what’s up?” you ask upon reaching him.

“Hey. Nothings up,” he responds almost too fast and shoves his hands in his pockets. Somethings definitely up.

“Don’t bullshit me, tell me what’s wrong.”

“Dude, nothings wrong. I was just uh… thinking about how next week is Valentine’s day.”

“Ugh! Don’t fucking remind me about that shit fucking holiday!” you explode. You’re a little grouchy from your last class but let’s face it, you’re prone to blow ups even on a good day.

“What?” Dave says, clearly confused by your outrage. “I thought you’d be excited about it with your whole romance obsession and everything.”

“Oh yeah, real fucking excited,” you say, continuing on your tirade. “It’s just a bitch ass reminder that I’m a sad, single asshole and even if that wasn’t the case and I was in a relationship with some poor, unfortunate fucker, it’s just a day that makes people feel obligated to give each other gifts and do romantic shit to prove their love to one another which literally takes the romance right the fuck out of it in the first place!”

“Oh,” he says and rubs at the back of his neck. “Yeah. Haha, guess I never thought about it like that.”

“Wait,” you say, realizing you forgot about his nervousness, which started this whole conversation to begin with. “Why did you bring up Valentine’s day?”

“Uh… no reason. I was just going to see what your plans were.”

“Oh. I don’t know… Terezi’s having another party that night, I’ll probably just go hang out there or something.”

“Cool, cool. I probably do the same.” He says and falls quiet. By this time you’ve reached your class and you both go in and take your seats. Dave’s abnormally quiet throughout the class and spends most of it doodling on his notebook. When it’s finally over, you both gather up your shit and walk out together.

“Unless you want to do something,” he says to you as soon as your both out the door.

“What?” you ask, seriously not knowing what the hell he’s talking about.

“Uh… On Valentine’s Day. If you want to maybe.. do something… together?”

“Oh. You mean like go to the party together?” you ask, confusion clear in your voice.

“No… I mean we could do that but uh.. I meant like a.. uh.. daaa—nner. Like dinner! And a movie or something.. just you and me.”

“Oh. Everywhere is going to be fucking packed though.”

“Oh. Right. Yea, you’re right. That was a dumb suggestion. Forget I asked,” he says, rubbing at the back of his neck again.

“I didn’t say no, fuckface,” you say crossing your arms.

“What? Oh…. So is that a yes then?” he asks.

“Yeah, I guess. I mean if you really want to,” you say with a shrug, not quite grasping why he’s acting so fucking weird.

“Yes. Fuck yes. We’re doing this man. We’re ma---”

“Don’t make me fucking change my mind, Dave.”

“Right. You’re right. So fucking right. Alright then. I should probably stop saying right, right? God dammit. Ok.. so cool. Cool. We’ll do something together. On Valentine’s Day. Together. Cool… So uh, dinner and a movie then?”

“Yeah that’s fine,” you say, still confused.

“Great. Cool. Awesome. So uh… I’ll pick where to eat and you pick the movie?” he asks and you nod at him again. “Sweet. Dope. Alright, so uh, I gotta get to class but I guess I’ll see you on Valentine’s Day … and also at our next class together… and at home too, haha… but like also on Valentine’s Day,” he says as he starts backing away. You seriously don’t know what to say to him by this point and just stare at him with your mouth open. He keeps talking because of course he does. “So uh.. cool…awesome…..right… uh….. later dude.”

He finally walks off toward his next class but seriously what the fuck? You’re not sure why the hell he was so nervous and rambley (more so than normal). It’s not like the two of you haven’t hung out and done shit together before… Oh well, you think and shrug your shoulders and head to your next class. It’s not the first time Dave’s made no fucking sense to you.

 

\---

 

Valentine’s day finally rolls around and you’re grateful because Dave continued acting weird the entire last week. You don’t think he’s said one complete sentence to you without stuttering and you’re starting to forget what his actual skin color is because he seems to be constantly fucking blushing. You’ve asked him multiple times what the hell his deal is but each time he puts you off with a fucking long winded ramble that you couldn’t even begin to make full sense of even if you tried. You’re honestly not sure what to make of it and you’re on edge to say the least.

You both walk home together after your classes as usual, stopping on the way to pick up Dirk. Once back at home you both take turns showering and get ready in your own rooms. You’re not completely sure what to wear because on the one hand you’re just hanging out with Dave with but it is Valentine’s so you don’t want to go out looking like complete fucking trash. You’re seriously regretting not enlisting Kanaya’s help in picking out an outfit for tonight. Although you run the risk of prompting snarky comments from Dave, you ultimately decide to dress on the nicer side. You head downstairs once you’re dressed and since Dave is apparently still getting ready you head into the kitchen where Ms. Harley is making Valentine cookies with Dirk and hang out with them while you wait.

About 15 minutes later Dave walks in and holy fuck are you glad you decided to dress on the nicer side because wow, does he look good. You didn’t even know he owned anything that nice and you wonder if maybe they’re new clothes. He’s not overly dressed up or anything but he’s wearing dark grey dress pants and a dark red button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up almost to his elbows and just damn… he looks. fucking. amazing… You can’t even blame yourself for thinking that you wish you were going on an actual date with him tonight, although your heart aches at the thought.

“Dude,” he says walking over to you. “You look.. really good.”

“Yeah, you too,” you respond, your brain not even able to form an insult at the moment. Ms. Harley giggles and you notice Dave’s cheeks redden and you break out of your Dave induced trance. “I mean ‘really good’ for you. You don’t look like the garbage heap that you usually do. That’s what I meant by good.”

“Mmmhhmmmmm,” Ms. Harley lets out a way too knowing hum and gives you an equally knowing smirk.

“So uh, should we get going then?” Dave asks you.

“God yes,” you say, wanting nothing more than to escape the embarrassment of the moment. Dave smiles at you and you both say your goodbyes to Ms. Harley and Dirk and head out. Ms. Harley had offered to let you use the car tonight and Dave jogs ahead of you and holds the passenger door open and gestures for you to get in.

“What the fuck are you doing?” you testily ask him.

“Uh… holding the door open for you?”

“You’re not driving, fuckface. Now give me the keys,” you say as you march over and grab them out of his hand before he even has a chance to react or respond. You head back over to the driver’s side and get in and start the car. Dave’s still holding the door open and has yet to even make a move.

“Get in, dumbass. We’re going to be late for the movie,” you tell him and he finally hops in with an ‘Oh, right’ and nothing more. You pull out of the driveway as soon as his door is closed.

The two of you had decided earlier in the week to watch a movie first and then have dinner after in hopes that other couples (… not that you and Dave are a couple but you know…) would do the opposite and you might avoid some of the crazy crowds. You had suggested going to the theater across town that plays movies that have been out for awhile instead of the new releases, again in the hope of avoiding excessive people, but based on the line you see outside the door when you arrive your plan was fucking pointless.

As soon as you park, Dave hurries out of the car and comes and opens your door for you. What the fuck. You plan on jumping his ass about why the hell he’s acting so weird but the smile he gives you when you get out makes the words die in your mouth and you just smile back at him like the idiot you are. You walk into the theater side by side and thankfully Dave had bought tickets beforehand because based on the horde of people waiting in line you may not have gotten them otherwise. You had both agreed to watch ‘Baby Driver’ and after getting drinks and snacks (which you had to forcefully make Dave let you buy) you go to find seats together which is annoying and more difficult than it should be.

You finally find two together but you’ll both have to sit next to stranger, a fact which neither of you are happy about. Thankful-fucking-ly the armrests can be pulled up and as soon as you both get settled that’s the first thing Dave does and you both scoot as close as you can to one another. Dave puts his arm around you with a questioning look and you answer him with a middle finger as you press farther into his side. When the movie finally starts you have to mentally force yourself to pay attention to it instead of focusing on how fucking good Dave smells and how fucking nice it feels to be pressed against him. Have you mentioned what a fucking creep you are?

\---

“I can’t believe we just spent two hours watching a fucking movie about you!” you say to Dave as you walk to the car after the movie’s over.

“What?”

“You! You are that kid in the movie, 100%. I’m almost positive that if I smacked those shades off of your face right now you’d just pull another pair out of your pocket.”

“I’m not gonna confirm or deny that but let’s not test that theory,” he says and reaches up to adjust his aviators.

“See? You’re definitely Baby all the way.”

“Aw, Karkat,” he drawls and grabs ahold of your hand and swings you around so that you’re essentially chest to chest with him. “If you wanted to call me ‘baby’ all ya had to do was say. I’ll be your baby any day of the week….. You want me to call you Deborah?” he finishes with a waggle of his eyebrows.

“Fuck you, Strider. If anything I’d be Jon Bernthal’s character because I think you’re retarded and annoying,” you retaliate and push away from him as he giggles. You’re almost back to the car at this point and pull out the keys as your stomp the rest of the way to it. As you do Dave comes up and grabs the keys from you.

“Alright, well if I’m Baby I guess that means I “hve” to be the driver this time,” he says and winks at you. You decide to let him win this one and just roll your eyes and head to the passenger side. Dave races around the other side to beat you there and again opens the fucking car door for you. By this point your sure that he’s just pulling some kind of ironic Valentine Day bullshit just to piss you off so you give him your best glare as you get in and sit down. He smirks at you and goes back to the other side and gets in and the two of you bullshit about the rest of the movie on the way to the restaurant. Since you had picked the theater, Dave got to pick where to eat tonight and you’re more than surprised when he pulls into a pretty upscale restaurant. It’s not extremely over the top fancy but enough so that you feel self-conscious by the way you’re dressed.

“Dave what the fuck? We’re not eating here are we?”

“Hell yeah, babe. Nothing but the best for you,” he says and winks at you again.

“Do you not see how I’m dressed? I look disgusting, they probably won’t even let me in.”

“Karkat,” he says, turning to face you now that he’s parked. “You look fucking amazing dude. No joke. No irony. You look perfect, man. Shit, even if you were dressed like a bum you’d still look better than anyone in there, bro. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“Hhmmpphh,” you say, crossing your arms in embarrassment. You don’t miss the cruel irony of how much you wish Dave was saying things like that as your boyfriend and not just a friend. You do your best to stomp down the hurt you feel and mask it with deflective self-flagellation. “Fine, but don’t blame me when we get kicked out because the other diner’s start vomiting the moment they see me.”

“You’re so dramatic, dude,” he replies, smirking at you. You reach over and pull the keys out of the ignition and drop them purposefully on the floor near his feet. You take your opportunity to get out as Dave reaches down to grab them and go over and pull his door open and dramatically bow as he gets out because two can play at this ironic romance game and your feeling sorry enough for yourself to be petty.

Dave doesn’t even miss a beat though and just gives you the same amused smirk that you’ve become all too familiar with. He even holds the door to the restaurant open for you and pulls your chair out for you when the waiter taker you to your table. You thank him with your angriest glare because honestly you’re fuming right now.

You know you’re being stupid. You really shouldn’t be this angry right now. Dave’s being his normal degree of antagonistic asshole and fuck, at least 80% of your friendship is built on the shared pleasure of constantly fucking with each other but…. It’s Valentine’s Day and the reality of just how much you’re in LOVE with Dave is kicking you full force in the heart right now. You’re also fucking embarrassed as shit at how underdressed you are and you can’t stop yourself from feeling like everyone is staring and judging you. You know you’re over reacting but it’s a volatile combination and you’re struggling not to be a complete cantankerous jerk right now.

Dave, however, seems completely oblivious to your mental turmoil though and even smiles sweetly at you as he takes the seat across from you. Shit, is that just part of his ironic romance performance tonight? He seems nervous though. Fuck are you making him nervous? Maybe he’s embarrassed to be seen with you now that he’s seen how nicely everyone else here is dressed? Or wait, fuck. What if he realized that people are going to think that the two of you are on a date tonight? Fuck, shit, god dammit. That’s even worse. You can not handle him having a freak out over that particular subject right now because him being embarrassed over the exact thing that you wish with every ounce of your soul was happening right now would fuck you up.

“Hey,” he says startling you out of your thoughts. “You all right, dude?”

“I’m fucking fine,” you snap and cross your arms defensively.

“Ok. Uh.. well if you’re not feeling it, we can leave, man. Whatever you want to do tonight, dude. It’s up to you,” he offers and gives you another one of those sweet ass smiles.

“Can you just fucking stop, Dave?!”

“Huh?” he asks you, confusion clear in his voice.

“The fucking ironic romance bullshit or whatever fuck you want to call it. Just fucking stop it. Please.”

“Dude. I’m not-“ Whatever he’d been about to say gets interrupted when the waiter comes to your table. Dave reluctantly turns his attention away from you and places his order and when it’s your turn you do the same, making sure to order the least expensive item on the menu. The waiter seems to sense the tension and you’re not sure if you should feel pissed or sorry for his awkwardness at the situation. He goes off with a promise to put your order in and returns with your drinks few minutes later. You and Dave in the meantime haven’t resumed your conversation and instead continued to sit in awkward silence.

“So,” the waiter says, still obviously nervous. “You guys getting some bro time in or just couldn’t get a date with the ladies?”

“What makes you think this isn’t a date?” Dave questions, his best dead panned expression and voice in place. The waiters mouth drops open and he stammers a moment but you jump in before he gets a chance to respond.

“Don’t be an asshole, Strider,” you say to Dave and then turn your attention to the waiter. “We’re just friends, no need to be a stammering idiot.”

“Oh…. Uh okay,” The waiter responds with a very nervous laugh. “Well um… I’m just going to go … check on your order,” he says and rushes away. You turn your face back to Dave whose frown matches your own.

“Dude, what the fuck? This isn’t a date?”

“Oh my fucking god Strider. Did I not just say stop with your motherfucking ironic bullshit. I know this isn’t a real date and I don’t think it’s fucking funny to pretend that it is, okay?”

“Why can’t it be a real date?”

“Because you made it crystal fucking clear you would never date a dude, Strider and trust me I’m not stupid enough to think that even if you were to date a guy that you would pick me, so fuck the fuck off.”

“Ok, so what if I did want to date a dude. You in particular. Would you date me then?”

His question catches you off guard and you’re silent for a moment as you consider it. You know he’s just being hypothetical. Dave loves to go off on tangents like this and if you respond with the truth that you would date him ( in a fucking heartbeat) it might plant a seed in his head and make him uncomfortable around you again and that’s the last thing you want. You can’t fucking lie to him either though so you decide to deflect and answer him with a question of your own.

“What do you think, Dave? Have you seen John? Have you seen Terezi? Do you really think a pasty haired, albino buffoon with a flat ass would be my type?!” you all but yell at him. If your shitty clothes hadn’t drawn people’s attention, your loud tone of voice sure has. Dave stares at you through your rant, his mouth pursed into a thin line.

“Nah… You’re right, man. Defintely not your type. This sure ain’t a date cuz you’d never date me. Haha. I was stupid to even think that…. Ironically of course. Not like… seriously…”

He hasn’t made eye contact with you and he looks….. sad? Maybe? You don’t know but you feel like the worst piece of shit right now and desperately want to make this better. You’d do anything to make this better.

“Dave I—” this time it’s you that interrupted by the fucking waiter as he brings your food to the table and you and Dave both sit in silence until he’s gone.

“I—” you try to start saying but Dave interrupts you.

“Dude. It’s cool you don’t have to explain yourself.”

“But—“ you try again.

“Karkat. Seriously, just please let it go.”

You fall silent and so does Dave and you both stay that way throughout dinner. It’s horrible and awkward and neither of you do more than pick at your dinner and move it round on your plates. You couldn’t feel worse. You fucked up. You fucked up the whole night. You made Dave upset and ruined everything and you have no fucking clue how to make it better because honestly you don’t even know what you did exactly.

When dinner is finally over, you both head back out to the car, still in silence. Dave doesn’t hold the door for you this time and you don’t fight him for the keys. When you’re both seated Dave leans his head back against the head rest and heaves a sigh. You try again to apologize.

“Dave, I—”

“It’s seriously okay, dude,” he interrupts, again not letting you finish. “let’s just forget it, Okay?”

“Okay,” you concede after a few moments hesitation. You both sit silently for a few more minutes.

“Wanna go to Terezi’s party?” he asks.

“Fuck yes,” you say, desperately needing and grateful for any distraction right now.

Without another word Dave starts up the car and head’s towards Terezi’s. It doesn’t take long to get there although it seems like it due to the awkward silence. You both go in and greet everyone and although your friends try their best to pull you both into conversation it’s obvious they all quickly realize that neither of you are really up for much socializing right now. Instead you go and plop down on the couch and Dave follows behind you a moment later. You both stay there, messing around on your phones for a good hour and doing your best to avoid talking to one another. Nepeta tries once to get you both to dance but gets turned down by each of you. Dave at one point gives up on his phone and lays his head back against the couch with a sigh while you stay glued to the blessed comfort of your apps.

It’s slightly past midnight midnight and the party is winding down when one of your favorite slow songs comes on. You’ve mentioned to Dave before that you like it and when he realizes what song it is he turns to you.

“Hey,” he says grabbing your attention. “You wanna dance?”

“Now?” you ask like the complete dumb ass that you are. “In front of everyone?”

“Dude, look around. Everyone’s either paired up, passed out or off in their own sad little solo world right now. Now one’s going to give two fucks about whatever the hell we’re doing.”

You look around and realize how right he is so you debate your options. On one hand you feel like emotional shit and really don’t want to do anything, let alone dance but on the other hand Dave just asked you dance and that means that you didn’t piss him off enough to completely want to cut off contact with you and you get to be in close proximity with him too so….

“Okay, “you say standing up. Dave gets up as well and you both head to the makeshift dancefloor. You’re not exactly sure how the fuck to dance to this slow as fuck song but you only stand their like an awkward douche for a moment before Dave makes the decision for you. He takes one of your hands and pulls you in close, your free hands wrap lightly around each other’s torsos. “Is this okay?” he whispers in your ear and you nod your head yes as you rest your cheek against his. He does the same and the two of you slowly move to the music together until the end of the song. A new song beings, this one with a much faster tempo and even though you don’t want to, you start to pull away. Dave tightens his grip and pulls you closer, although immediately after he loosens it enough so that you can escape if you choose, although you’d rather do anything but. Instead you tighten your grip on him as well and adjust your stance so that you can rest your cheek to his shoulder now and wrap both arms around him and he again does the same. You stay like that through 3 more songs, slowly dancing to your own beat and unaware of the music or anyone or anything else around you.

Dave eventually pulls way and you meet his gaze as he stares down at you.

“We should probably get home,” he says.

“Yeah. Probably,” you dumbly agree. “Dave—” you try to start again, desperately wanting to fix your fuck up at the restaurant.

“It’s cool man. Come on let’s go let everyone know where leaving,” he says and turns to walk away before you can say anything else. You follow after him and say your goodbyes to everyone. The car ride home is as silent as it was from the restaurant and you fucking hate every minute of it. You both head upstairs when you get home. Dave peeks in Dirk’s room before he heads to his own.

“Dave,” you say and he turns to face you. “I’m sorry..”

“Dude, it’s cool. You’ve got nothing to apologize for, alright?” he attempts to reassure you. “And uh, hey thanks for hanging out with me tonight. It was some cool bro time, right?”

He gives you a small smile before he disappears the rest of the way into his room. You stand there in the hallway debating what you should do. You want to go after him and explain yourself and apologize until you make whatever the fuck this is better but you ultimately take the cowards way out and head into your own room.

Your mind is fucking racing and you’re not even going to pretend like you’re going to sleep tonight. Instead you sit on your bed and fucking rack your brain, playing back through the night and how exactly you fucked up and how to fix it. Things didn’t go pear shaped until Dave asked if you would date him and you thought you had given him the right answer but maybe you were wrong. Maybe you hurt his feelings when you called him a pasty ass whatever? Fuck, it’s not the first time you’ve insulted his appearance though. Hell, if you’re really going to get technical it wasn’t even the first time you had insulted his appearance that night.

Maybe he knew you were lying? Fuck, that was probably it. He’d asked if you’d ever date him and you tried to play it off that you weren’t massively attracted to him and in love with him and he must have known how much of a piece of shit liar you are. Fuck. Fucking shit.

You argue with yourself back and forth for several hours as you try to make a plan of action. You’re pretty convinced that Dave’s just upset that you lied and you try to ignore the part of your brain that argues that that’s not it. You’ve made up your mind that you’re just going to tell Dave that you like him, romantically. You’re not going to bring up love because you don’t want to come across as a complete loser freak but you are going to tell him and face whatever consequences come with it. You’ll tell him you like him, like him and also that your stupid fucking feelings don’t have to change anything between the two of you. That you’ll get over them eventually and that if you ever make him uncomfortable to just punch you in the face or something. Yes. This is a good plan you think When day finally breaks, you head down stairs to search out Ms. Harley so you can tell her what you plan to do. You also hope talking with her will straighten out the last of the scrambled thoughts in your head.

You find her out in the back room sitting in her chair, tea cup in hand. Bec’s not at his feet. as he’s still a constant companion to Dirk, but still just the familiarity of seeing her like that is enough to calm you instantly. She smiles at you as you take the seat beside her and you waste no time filling her in on the events of last night and what you plan to do about it. She sits quietly and patiently until you’re finished and you stare at her as you wait for her response.

“Well?” you ask when she stays quiet for longer than you can stand.

“I think that’s a great plan, sweetheart. Telling Dave how you feel about him.”

“You don’t think he’ll hate me?” you ask like an immature baby and she smiles sadly at you.

“I don’t think Dave could ever hate you, dear. I have a feeling you might end up being surprised by his response,” she says standing up from her chair. She walks over to you and offers you a hand up. “Now come on. I’m going to go wake Dirky up and take him and Bec to the park so you can have some alone time to talk to Dave.”

You stand up, taking the hand she offered you and she gives you a gentle squeeze of encouragement before letting go. You follow her through the house and into the living room and you’re both surprised when you find Dave there. He’s leaning against the arm of the chair and you notice that there’s a piece of paper in his hand. You can tell instantly that somethings wrong. His stance is stiff and the paper in this hand is slightly shaking and he has yet to notice or acknowledge you or Ms. Harley. You share a worried glance with her before you both slowly walk over and stand in front of him. His gaze doesn’t move from the spot he’s staring at on the floor.

“Dave?” you say softly and still no response. You take a step closer and say his name again, a little louder this time. His head snaps up but it’s like he’s looking through you. “Hey. You okay?” you ask him and reach a hand out towards his arm. He flinches away from you, hard, and you can’t help the hurt that it makes you feel but you stomp it down because you’re worried as fuck and don’t know what to do at this point. Ms. Harley steps up beside you and thankfully takes charge. She crouches down so that she’s looking up at Dave and he turns his gaze towards her although it still seems unfocused.

“Hey, Dave? Honey?” she says in her most soothing voice. “Can I see that letter you’re holding?” She holds her hand out to him, waiting for him to give her the paper instead of taking it from him. He stares at her for what seems like forever before her words must finally click and he shakily hands the paper over to her. Ms. Harley takes it from him and gives him a warm smile as a thank you and begins to read the letter. You nervously look between her and Dave as she reads, not knowing what else to do.

“Fuck,” you hear Ms. Harley whisper and it startles you because in all the years you’ve known her it’s the first time you’ve heard her use that word.

“What?!” you demand, your worry causing you to sound more abrasive than you intend to. “What is it?”

Ms. Harley covers her mouth with her hand and holds up the letter for you to take, which you do. You glance at Dave once more before you start reading but he’s still stiff and zoned out, although he seems to be shaking even more now. You turn your attention to the letter in your hand.

 

 

**FAMILY COURT OF THE STATE OF TEXAS**

**HARRIS COUNTY**

**123 State St**

**Houston, TX 77002**

_**Case #: S-0012300-0012SS** _

 

**SUMMONS:**

_**Permanent Guardianship** _

**BRONSON STRIDER**

**_Plaintiff/Biological Father_                                                                     **

**-vs-**

**DAVID STRIDER**

**_Defendant/ Temp. Custodial Guardian_**

**TO THE DEFENDANTS NAMED HEREIN:**

_**YOU ARE HEREBY SUMMONED and required to appear at HARRIS COUNTY FAMILY COURT HOUSE on March 23 rd at 9:00 AM to determine final custody of one: DIRK STRIDER. Failure to appear may result in….** _

 

 

You stop reading and look back at Dave and then at Ms. Harley, neither of whom have moved. Only one thought fills your head and you say it out loud.

“FUCK.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear there's a reason for this slow burn hell lol it's one of the first scenes I planned out when I started this and I'm committed to it by this point. It will be worth it, I hope.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some background on Dave's upbringing, emotional bonding, preparing for court
> 
> TW this chapter for mentions of blood, child abuse and homophobic slurs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cracks knuckles*
> 
> Alright so, first of all a huge shout out and THANK YOU to [nomisupernova](http://nomisupernova.tumblr.com/) who is now an editor on this fic! They are super dedicated and fast and they're currently going back through and editing this entire hell fic, so I'll be updating that as they do! They even made a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/nomisupernova/playlist/3VYcO6KC3ITDkwYVYXwbZd) for this that you all should go check out cuz its awesome =)
> 
> Also, shout and THANK YOU to reader touka_chan who is super awesome and went back and edited chapter 24 for me!
> 
> Also, another huge THANK YOU to [olivetheowl,](http://olivetheowl.tumblr.com/) who made some super beautiful [fan art](http://olivetheowl.tumblr.com/post/171645918014/nuwanda717-i-forgot-to-post-this-for-days-a) from chapter 25 that I absolutely adore and you all should go check it out and show them some love
> 
> And another friggin ginormous THANK YOU to reader apocalypticTaco for giving me a few ideas for this chapter in the super rad comments that she always leaves! So specifically if you enjoy the rose/karkat convo and the dave/karkat scene about Dave's scarring on his back , know that those scenes were formed from suggestions aT made and mentally send her some thanks lol (but seriously dude, thanks for giving me the ideas. I loved writing both of those scenes =D ) 
> 
> and I'm trying to force myself to be ok with people seeing things I create so heres a [link](https://nuwanda717.tumblr.com/image/171397172395) to a thing I drew from chapter 25 as well. I tried a new program and eventually just gave up on it so I know it's shitty quality but eh.
> 
> anyways, hope you all enjoy this chapter. I think it's one of my favorite ones so far....

Ms. Harley looks up at you and nods her head in agreement with your spoken expletive. You can’t really even form a coherent thought at the moment and, instead, blurt out the first thing your mind comes up with.

“This doesn’t fucking matter right?” you ask, directing most of your attention to Ms. Harley. “There’s no way in ever loving hell he would actually get custody of Dirk.”

Ms. Harley glances at Dave before she responds, “Probably not. This will be more of a headache than anything. Dave has proved himself more than competent as a guardian and we’ll just need to build our case against his fath—”

She’s cut off when Dave abruptly stands up from the arm of the chair. He immediately begins pacing nervously around the small space between the chair and the door, running his hands through his hair and mumbling to himself.

“No, no, no, no, no. You guys don’t understand. I’m fucked. So fucked. He’s going to get Dirk back and he’s going to come for me. I know. I fucking know.”

“Dave,” Ms. Harley says gently. “He’s not coming for you and he’s not going to tak—”

Dave interrupts her again and grabs the letter you’re still holding. He holds it up with shaking hands for Ms. Harley to see. “He knows where I live. He’s not supposed to fucking know. It’s why I came to fucking Washington instead of moving somewhere closer to Rose. Fuck, I- I should have… I’m… FUCK!!” He shoves the letter back at you and starts pacing again.

“Honey, I’m sure he doesn’t know. That letter was probably sent by his lawyer who got the address from your case worker or lawyer, if you have one.”

“No. No! Every other letter has been sent to my caseworker. They’ve never been mailed directly to me. This is him. This is him letting me know that he knows where the fuck I am! Even the court date is during my spring break. He knows where we live and where I go to school and he wants me to know. Fucking fuck!”

Okay, so this is way worse than you thought. Ms. Harley glances at you again but you honestly don’t have anything viable to add right now, so for once in your miserable life you keep quiet. She tries again to reassure Dave.

“Okay, well if that is the case, he’s not going to chance doing anything before the custody hearing. We can worry about him knowing where you and Dirk live afterwards. Right now we just need to focus on getting ready for the case. I’m sure no judge would actually grant custody to him, what with the history of abuse and all, but we still want to be prepared.”

Dave stops pacing again and manically shakes his head no. “Ms. J you don’t- you don’t fucking get it, okay? There is no history of abuse.”

“What the fuck do you mean there’s no history of abuse?!” you chime in, your brief bout of silence now over. “I’ve fucking seen your back Dave.”

Dave looks instantly ashamed and turns his gaze back towards the ground. Fuck, you’re an asshole. Why couldn’t you just keep your stupid fucking mouth shut? Ms. Harley gives you a questioning look but you just shake your head at her.

“Y’all seriously don’t understand,” Dave drawls out, his slight accent much more pronounced in his panic. “Bro’s fuckin’ smart and methodical as shit. He didn’t fuckin’ make mistakes like, ya know, leavin’ any evidence for people to see after he’d beat the shit out me.”

Dave’s voice is shaky and he has to take multiple breaks while talking to suck in a deep breath or two. “He knew how to fucking set bones and how to stitch up wounds. Fuck, I think him putting me in pain all over again after our strifes was half of his fucking fun….”

At this point, Dave sinks to the floor and sits with his legs crossed and his head cradled in his hands. He takes several deeps breaths, obviously trying to get himself back under control. You don’t move. You can’t move. Ms. Harley seems to be having the same problem. Dave has never shared this much about his past before, about the abuse he endured, and it has you both frozen in place and unsure how to react. You’re not sure if you’re relieved or regretful when he keeps talking, although you probably fall somewhere in the middle of the two.

“There was only one time I needed to go to the hospital. I didn’t land right when he threw me down the stairs and my head got cracked open and it wouldn’t stop bleeding and it was too big for him to take care of. He was so fucking angry. I don’t think I’d ever actually seen him that fucking pissed.” He lets out a small laugh at this and shakes his head, his gaze still glued to the ground in front of him.

“I thought… I thought that since he was taking me to the hospital that… that meant he fucking loved me or some shit… fucking stupid... He stopped at a park on the way there and he put his baseball cap on me to cover the wound, pointed to a group of kids, and told me to get the fuck out and go fight them. He didn’t even let me say anything. He just reached over, opened the door, pushed me out and fucking stared me down until I did what he said. And of course I fucking did it. I always did whatever he said, no matter how fucked up it was because I’m a fucking idiot.”

“Sweetheart,” Ms. Harley says gently to Dave. He snaps up and looks at her confused, as if he forgot that you were both there listening to his story, which very well might be the case. He’s face flushes even more and he shakes his head but keeps talking.

“That’s why there’s no history of abuse Ms. J. ‘Cuz I went and called the kids faggots or some shit and they beat the fuck out of me. I don’t know if Bro called the ambulance or not but he wasn’t there when they came. He showed up at the hospital later on and fucking acted like it was a surprise. I ended up with charges filed against me ‘cuz the other kids all backed each other up that I was the one who started it and Bro got off scott fucking free. Not to mention I have history of violence now because of it too… I fucking know he’s going to use that shit against me.”

There’s so much you want to do. So much you want to say. You want to go over and take him in your arms and tell him it’s going to be okay and just do whatever you can to take his pain away. All you manage to squeak out is a ‘Fuck, Dave’ as you stay rooted to the same spot. Thankfully Ms. Harley has collected herself and actually adds relevant input to the situation.

“Okay. We can work around that. You were still granted temporary custody of Dirk, there must have been a good reason for that.”

“Yeah, I guess,” he agrees and he goes quiet.

You’re not sure if he’s going to speak anymore but after several long moments he does. “Bro told me on my eighteenth birthday that I had to get the fuck out. That same day. Didn’t give me any heads up or nothing. Just a ‘Hey, you’re eighteen now, get your shit and go’ and I told him I wasn’t leaving without Dirk and… fuck...”

He stops talking for a moment and rubs at his face. “I don’t- I don’t even remember what the hell happened exactly, but we got into it and when Dirk tried to help me, Bro…” Dave’s voice falters and he as to collect himself again. “Dirk ended up with a black eye and I think his nose was bleeding, which wasn’t like the first time or anything, but I guess one of the neighbors heard us fighting and the cops showed up before Bro could do anything about it.”

“So, they removed Dirk because of that?” Ms. Harley asks.

“Yeah. Bro tried to say it was me and that I attacked both of them and shit, but lucky for me, Dirk’s a smart as fuck little kid and was able to backup my side of what happened. One of the social workers or whatever believed me when I told her about everything else and helped me get the temporary custody and everything… I knew this day was coming but fuck, I guess I was just hoping Bro would have some fucking epiphany about how much he hates kids and let me keep Dirk. I should have fucking known better… ugh, fuck…”

Dave pulls his knees up to his chest and lets his head fall onto his crossed arms. His breathing is rapid again and his full body is shaking at this point. Ms. Harley finally moves from her spot and very tentatively goes to kneel by him on the floor and places a hand on his shoulder. As much as you desperately want to do something- anything- you stay in your same spot, ever the useless idiot when someone actually needs you.

“Hey,” Ms. Harley says, her voice soft. “That was a lot of bad stuff sweetheart but there was a lot of stuff that we can use to our favor too. You have DCFS on your side, even if it’s only one instance, there is documented abuse to both you and Dirk and it sounds like you have scars that could prove years of abuse as well,” Shame washes over you as she says that particular part. “We’ll get a good lawyer and have a good defense and we’ll beat this.”

“Yeah, I should probably let ya know that Bro’s fucking loaded. He’s going to have the best fucking lawyer that money can buy and more than likely they’ll be just as skeevy as he is.”

“What do you mean he’s loaded?” you chime in again. “You and Dirk looked half fucking starved when I met you.”

GOD DAMMIT, why can’t you just keep your mouth shut? Dave lets out a hollow laugh.

“Yeah, remember when I told you he only spent money on shit that he thought was ironic or cool? Food sure as shit didn’t fall in to that category, man. Oh yeah, I should probably let you know that I have shoplifting on my record too, Ms. J. I got busted stealing fucking food for Dirk one time. I’m fucking sure that’ll also be brought up and shit.”

Dave just shakes his head slightly as Ms. Harley tries to assure him that the shoplifting can be used in his defense as well. He lets her finish speaking before he changes the subject back to his Bro.

“But seriously, he makes these fucking sex puppets and stupid websites and it’s like a big fucking deal, for some disgusting reason. His lawyer will be the best that money can buy.”

“Sex puppets?” Ms. Harley says looking confused for a moment, “Wait... Hmmm… Is he the ‘Caliporn Inc.’ guy?”

Dave’s face turns red again and you’re pretty sure he’s thinking the same thing you are, ‘How in the fuck does Ms. Harley know about the sex puppet industry?!’ but he nods his head yes to answer to her question.

“Well fuck,” she says and it’s still so weird to hear that word come from her, although nowhere near as weird as the puppet thing. “Alright, so he does have money on his side but I’m not in the poor house either, dear. We’re going to fight this, Dave. I have connections in DCFS and CPS, you have multiple people who will testify on your behalf. We’re going to do everything we can to get you full custody, okay?”

Dave nods his head but he doesn’t look convinced.

“Terezi has that aunt who’s a big-time lawyer, I bet she’d help us out if Terezi asked her to,” you say, finally adding something constructive to the conversation.

“Yes! That’s a great idea Karkat!” Ms. Harley exclaims and looks over her shoulder to smile at you before she turns her attention back to Dave. “See sweetheart? We’ve got this. He is NOT getting Dirk.”

She holds Dave’s gaze for a moment before he drops his head down again.

“We’ve only got like a month Ms. J. That’s not enough time. I know he did that shit on fucking purpose…” he responds, trailing off at the end.

“Then we better start getting our daisies in a row right now,” she says as she stands up and offers her hand to Dave. He stares at it a moment before hesitantly taking it and standing as well.

“Are we planting flowers today?” you hear from the top of the stairs and all three of you look up to see Dirk coming down with Bec at his side.

“Uh,” Dave says, letting go of Ms. Harley’s hand and walking towards the stairs. “No. No little dude. Ms. J was just talking about the guitar lesson she was going to give me today.”

“Oh,” Dirk says as he jumps into Dave’s open arms from the last few steps. Dave hugs him close. “Can I watch?”

“Uh…. Well, uh, Karkat was going to see if you and Bec wanted to go to the park with him today,” Dave tells him while giving you a pleading look.

“Oh. Oh yeah,” you agree, realizing Dave’s motive. “Um, I have some homework to do while we’re there but I was thinking... maybe we could get ice cream or something after you’re done playing.”

“Hell yeah!” Dirk agrees and reaches for you as Dave tells him not to use the “H-word.” You’re pretty sure he’s too excited about the prospect of ice cream to care about being reprimanded right now, though.

Dave mouths “Thank you” to you and Ms. Harley gives you a grateful smile. You give them both a nod and take Dirk back upstairs to get him ready to go. As he gets dressed, you grab your backpack and phone from your room, then head to the kitchen to grab a few quick snacks to take for breakfast. Ms. Harley and Dave are both still in the living room talking and when Dirk finally comes down, you say your goodbyes.

Once at the park, you make sure that Dirk eats breakfast, fruit and some weird muffins he and Ms. Harley made, then send him and Bec off to play. You pull out your textbooks and open them so it looks like you're studying but really you get out your phone and message Rose. You’re glad she’s kept true to her word about keeping in touch with you, so you don’t feel like an awkward freak about contacting her.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering  tentacleTherapist [TT]

CG: HEY.  
CG: LALONDE.  
CG: GOD DAMMIT. PLEASE FUCKING ANSWER.  
TT: Why good morning, Karkat.   
TT: Or should I now be referring to you as brother-in-law?  
TT: Whatever could you be oh-so fervently messaging me for this fine morning?  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU BABBLING ABOUT NOW, LALONDE?  
CG: ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT? NEVERMIND. I DON’T HAVE TIME TO PLAY YOUR BULLSHIT MIND GAMES THIS MORNING.  
CG: HAVE YOU TALKED TO DAVE?  
TT: Not since before your date last night. Why do ask?  
CG: FUCK. I DON’T KNOW IF IT’S MY PLACE TO TELL YOU.  
CG: MAYBE YOU SHOULD MESSAGE HIM.  
TT: I’ve already messaged him this morning and I have yet to hear back from him.  
TT: Should I be worried?  
CG: SHIT. OKAY, FUCK IT. I’LL JUST TELL YOU.  
CG: DAVE RECEIVED A SUMMONS LETTER IN THE MAIL TODAY. FROM YOUR DAD.   
CG: HE’S TRYING TO GET FULL CUSTODY OF DIRK.

  
Your phone starts ringing immediately. It’s Rose, of course, but you don’t answer because Dirk is within hearing range. There’s a brief pause after the phone stops ringing before she tries calling again. Your phone pings shortly after the second call ends.

TT: DAMN IT, KARKAT!!  
TT: Answer your phone!!! Dave won’t answer his either. I need to speak to him. Right now!  
CG: HE’S NOT WITH ME. HE’S AT HOME WITH MS. HARLEY. THEY’RE ALREADY GETTING THINGS GOING FOR COURT.  
CG: I’M AT THE PARK WITH DIRK AND I DON’T THINK DAVE WANTS HIM TO KNOW ABOUT THE SUMMONS SO I CAN’T TALK EITHER. SORRY, LALONDE.  
TT: Fuck. FUCK!!!  
TT: I’m going to murder our sorry excuse of a patriarchal figure myself.  
CG: WELL IF YOU WANT ANY HELP I’LL GLADLY TAKE THAT MOTHERFUCKER OUT.  
TT: Yes, I have no doubts that you would.  
TT: Seriously though, this is the worst possible news. I knew it was inevitable but I suppose I was hoping my father would just realize how much he despised having children and let Dave have custody.  
TT: Of course, I should have known better. This is just one more way for him to prove his dominance over us. Fuck.  
CG: YEAH. THE BULLSHIT LEVEL OF THIS IS PRETTY MUCH INSURMOUNTABLE. THE SUMMONS ALSO CAME DIRECTLY TO THE HOUSE. DAVE IS CONVINCED THAT BRO KNOWS WHERE HE’S LIVING AND GOING TO SCHOOL AND WAS FREAKING THE FUCK OUT OVER IT.  
TT: Shit.  
CG: THE ONLY POSITIVE OUT OF ALL THIS IS THAT MS. HARLEY KNOWS HER SHIT WHEN IT COMES TO THIS STUFF. SHE KNOWS A FUCK TON OF PEOPLE IN DCFS AND CPS AND IN THE LEGAL SYSTEM AS WELL, SO WE’LL AT LEAST HAVE A FIGHTING CHANCE OF KEEPING DIRK.  
CG: I DON’T THINK DAVE’S AS POSITIVE AS WE ARE ABOUT IT THOUGH. I’M PRETTY SURE HE’S CONVINCED HIMSELF THAT BRO’S GOING TO GET DIRK AND THEN COME AFTER HIM ONCE HE DOES.  
TT: Honestly, that’s not an unfounded fear. That sounds exactly like a plan that sorry son of a bitch would have.  
TT: I’ll try to remain positive when I do get a chance to speak to my brother.  
TT: I hate to put this burden on you but he’ll need you to do the same. I believe he relies on you more than you probably realize.  
CG: IF YOU THINK I’D DO ANYTHING EXCEPT BE THERE WHEN HE NEEDS ME RIGHT NOW, THEN I DON’T THINK YOU FUCKING KNOW ME AT ALL, LALONDE.  
TT: I know. I just wanted to make sure that *you* know that it’s okay for you to be his rock right now.  
CG: …  
TT: Oh. He’s calling me. I’ll speak with you later, Karkat. Thank you for telling me and thank you for being there for my brothers.

tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG]

You close out of Pesterchum and shove your phone back onto your pocket. You really do have homework to do, but as you stare at Dirk and Bec running through the playground, you can’t shake the fear that these may be the last weeks you’ll have with him.

You decide your homework can wait and go play with him until it’s time to leave and get ice cream before heading back home. You make sure he picks out the biggest, sprinkle-covered ice cream possible.

\-----

Back at home, Dave and Ms. Harley are no longer in the living room, although you notice that they placed the guitar on the couch in plain view. You find them both in the dining room and as you come in, Ms. Harley gathers a bunch of paperwork into a folder and gives you a reassuring smile. Dave is still stiff and awkward but you can tell he’s trying his best to appear normal for Dirk.

He asks him is he wants to go to the basement and work on ‘Can Town’; Dave’s impromptu solution after Dirk had cried for forty-five minutes when ‘Snow Town’ was decimated by a rainstorm two weeks ago. Dirk, of course, agrees and he and Dave stay down there until dinner time.

You stay and talk to Ms. Harley, who fills you in on everything that her and Dave discussed while you were gone. She already called Terezi and her aunt was more than willing to represent Dave and emailed Ms. Harley and Dave a list of everything they need to do in the next few weeks. Ms. Harley seems to be overtly positive about everything and you’re not quite sure if it’s genuine or just an act, but either way, you hope that some of it has rubbed off on to Dave. Right now, he needs any kind of hope he can get.

After dinner that night, all four of you- five, if you include Bec- squeeze onto the couch and watch some of Dirk’s favorite movies. You hate that you can’t shake the persistent thought in the back of your head that keeps telling you that you have to appreciate these moments because they might be the last ones. Ugh, fuck your brain.

You all turn in early that night, physically and mentally exhausted from the day. You and Ms. Harley both give Dirk extra-long bedtime hugs before Dave takes him upstairs to put him to sleep. Usually Dave comes to your room after he puts Dirk to bed, but after waiting for him to come for over an hour you finally figure that he’s not going to. Which is fine. You know he needs to be with his brother right now and you might be a selfish asshole, but not when it comes to shit like this. You curl up in your bed and attempt to read a book to take your mind off things.

It’s a little while later when you hear a noise come from Dirk’s room and you strain your ears to listen. You hear footsteps and also another sound that you can’t quite pinpoint. After Dave being so sure that his Bro knows where he lives, the unknown known noise makes you worried enough to go investigate.

As you quietly open Dirk’s bedroom door, it’s not Bro you find illuminated in the glow of the outside street lamp but rather Dave, huddled on the floor near Dirk’s bed and he’s… oh fuck, he’s crying. That’s obviously the noise you heard from your room. You have a moment of panic where you internally battle with yourself over whether you should abscond the fuck back to your room or if you should stay and try to help, but Dave ultimately makes your decision for you.

He looks up and meets your eyes and croaks out a single word.

“Karkat.”

You don’t waste another moment and fly over to him. He stands as you come in and as soon as you get to him you both instantly embrace each other.

“Shhhhh, shhhhh. It’s okay, Dave. Shhh,” You intermittently try to comfort him and you’re grateful that Dirk is such a sound sleeper. Dave is sobbing and shaking so hard and it’s several minutes before he’s able to say anything to you.

“I can’t... fucking lose him, ‘kat,” he stutters out, his voice shaky and hoarse as fuck.

“Shhh, Dave. You’re not going to lose him.”

“I am. You don’t know Bro, dude. He’s never going to stop until he has him back. It’s just a fucking ironic game for him and Bro always wins.”

“No, fuck that. Fuck him,” you argue. “He’s not fucking winning this time.”

“He always wins. You don’t know him,” Dave says again, shaking his head as he speaks. You’re contemplative for a moment as you choose your next words.

“I don’t know Bro but I know you, and you’re strong and smart and a good fucking person and you are who Dirk needs to raise him. And I may not know Bro, but I know Ms. Harley, and she knows her fucking shit. She’ll do everything in her power to make sure you keep Dirk. And I may not know Bro, but I know my fucking self and if that douche-canoe were to get custody, I would personally kick his ass and force him to give Dirk back to you.”

You know it’s a pretty lame thing to tell him but before you started talking you decided that you just want try to make him feel better, to tell him what he needs to hear even if it’s not the most sensible and even if it’s really fucking lame. Ms. Harley and Rose can be in charge of the sensible shit. You feel Dave laugh a little bit and you know you made the right choice.

“I know you would, dude,” he says and his hug on you tightens.

The two of you stay like that for a while, just clutching each other as Dave gets himself under control. Eventually you sink to the ground and you rest your back against Dirk’s bed and Dave sprawls out on the ground and rests his head on your leg. It seems like forever until one of you speaks.

“I kinda wanna sleep in here tonight,” he whispers.

“Okay.”

“Will you... stay with me?” he asks and you can hear the hesitation in his voice.

“Of fucking course, dude.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I fucking want to, shit for brains,” you say and you can feel him smile against your leg.

“Rad. Lets get some blankets and shit then.”

He helps you up and you both go to your own rooms and gather pillows and blankets and make a pile back in Dirk’s room. You lay down first and you're surprised when Dave lays down and fucking cuddles into you koala bear style.

“Is this okay?” he asks.

“Yeah,” you squeak out and bring up one of your hands to run through his hair to reiterate you point.

“Thanks,” he mumbles and it’s not long before you hear his breathing even out.

You think back on the cluster fuck of the day you just had and how it had started with you intent on confessing your feelings to Dave. Now, you couldn’t give less of a shit about that. Dave needs you right now and the last thing you’re going to do is unload your emotional bullshit on him during a time like this. Maybe you’ll do it after the trial but definitely not right now. The only thing that matters right now is being there for him in anyway he needs and doing anything in your power to insure his shit-head father doesn’t get Dirk.

\-----

You’re pretty sure after that night that if Dave could physically attach himself to you, he would. And okay, you’d probably help him do it if it was possible. He’s not as overtly affectionate as he was before winter break, like the way he’d sling his arm around you all the time. It’s more like he just likes having you close as a source of comfort and you you’re more than okay with being that for him.

When you walk to school together, he walks close enough that your arms brush against each other. You notice that’s he’s begun to constantly look over his shoulder anytime he’s out and you know it comes from the knowledge that Bro probably knows where he lives. Anytime you’re sitting next to one another, you’re almost always touching. Nighttime, when everyone else is asleep, is when he especially seeks you out though. You pretty much have an unspoken pact with him that the two of you are going to sleep on Dirk’s floor up until the actual trial and that’s just fine with you.

He snuggles up close to you each night and every time he asks if it’s okay. You always let him know it is. Sometimes you give him extra assurances, letting him know that he’s your best friend and that you’re here for him no matter what. He always smiles against you and sometimes he says similar shit back but sometimes he just holds you tighter. You spend a lot of nights reading to him from your favorite books after he had, very embarrassedly, asked you to one night when he couldn’t fall asleep. You’ve never felt closer to him.

One night as you’re laying together, Bec must hear a noise downstairs or something because he suddenly hops out of Dirk’s bed and right onto Dave’s back, scratching him in the process. Bec runs downstairs as Dave jolts up and gropes at his back.

“Fuck, I think I’m bleeding,” he says and stands up and leaves the room before you can even respond. You see the light from the bathroom as he flips it on and you get up and follow him so you can make sure he’s okay.

“Do you need help?” you ask as you come up to the doorway. Dave must not have heard you coming because he startles and pulls his shirt down as he turns his back away from you.

“Nah, dude. I’m good,” he replies and you know he’s lying because before he pulled his shirt down, you could see the scratch was too high for him to reach.

“Dave, if you can’t reach it, I can help you,” you tell him and patiently wait for his reply. He fidgets back and forth, but eventually he heaves a sigh of defeat.

“Alright, man, but fair warning, you haven’t seen this shit-show up close and it’s fucking disgusting.”

You frown at him but don’t say anything in response. He turns back towards the mirror and pulls his shirt all the way off. You silently come the rest of the way into the bathroom and grab some antiseptic cream and a bandage.

As you work on cleaning the scratch, (which is pretty big, fucking Bec) you notice that Dave is clutching the counter so hard that his knuckles have turned white. You try to hurry up and finish and, as you put the bandage on him, you leave your hand pushed flat against his back for a few moments.

“Your back isn’t disgusting, Dave,” you tell him quietly. “The only thing that’s disgusting about it is that it happened to you.”

He doesn’t reply and you take that as your cue to leave. You go back to Dirk’s room and lay back down on the blanket pile and you notice that Bec is back in bed with Dirk. It’s a good ten minutes before Dave returns and he doesn’t cuddle up against you when he lays down, instead he just lays there stiff as a board.

You’re mentally berating yourself, knowing you’ve crossed the line this time. You should have just kept your mouth shut. You’re contemplating going back to your own room when Dave’s voice breaks through your thoughts.

“It was from sword fighting.”

“What?” you ask and turn on your side to look at him. That was the last thing you expected to come out of his mouth.

“Sword fighting. That’s what the scars are from. Bro used to make me strife with him on the roof of our building and we always used swords. He said he was training me.”

“Training you for what?” you dumbly ask, like that’s the issue here.

“Fuck if I know, man, but I never even questioned it. I just thought it was normal. I was so fucking stupid.”

“You weren’t stupid,” you argue. “You were a kid who was conditioned to think that shit was normal.”

“No. I still should have known, dude. My brain should have taken a moment and been like ‘Hey, newsflash asshole! This shit is wrong and it hurts and it sure as shit isn’t normal. It’s not cool or fucking ironic or whatever’ but that never fucking happened. At least not until Dirk came and I had to realize it. It was all my own fault for not putting a stop to it sooner. Maybe if I had said something when I was younger it would have stopped.”

“Dave,” you say more firmly and prop yourself up with your elbow. “That’s bullshit! He was an adult and you were a child. It wasn’t your responsibility to hash out what was right and wrong. He was supposed to fucking teach you that! Instead, he fucking beat the shit out of you and starved you and who knows what the fuck else and manipulated you into thinking that it was normal or cool or whatever. None of that, none of it, was your fault.”

Dave turns his face away from you and, of course, your brain instantly thinks you pissed him off again. A brief second later though, he turns back towards you and slams his full body against you in an embrace and sobs into your shoulder.

“I fucking hate him. I hate him so fucking much.”

You hold him as he cries and you whisper soothing words into his ear. He eventually stops crying and settles against you.

“Sorry for being such an emotional wreck,” he says. “Shit’s mad uncool.”

“Shut the fuck up, Dave. You never need to apologize for that type of shit, okay?”

He gives you a squeeze in lieu of a response and you can feel him searching for your hand. You expect him to hold it but are surprised when he brings it across your stomach and places it on his lower back. Neither of you say anything as you lightly begin to rub his back. In the quiet comfort of darkness, all of your boundaries and worries are pushed away, and you’re just two souls finding comfort in one another.

God, you’re a sap.

\-----

Aside from your’s and Dave’s emotional bonding, the next few weeks are a shit-storm of activity as you all prepare for the trial. Mrs. Pyrope, Terezi’s aunt, suggested Dave have three character witnesses and it’s decided that you, Ms. Harley, and Ms. Rollins,his caseworker, should be the ones to testify on his behalf.

All the paperwork is ready to go including detailed reports from the therapist on Dave and Dirk’s progress, a letter from Dirk’s preschool teacher regarding his adjustment in the classroom, multiple letters from various DCFS employees who also vouch for Dave’s competence as a guardian and even a doctor’s report that states that Dave’s scarring and injuries would have come from years of prolonged abuse.

Rose and Roxy’s spring break is thankfully the same week as yours and they’re going to fly out to stay with Dirk while the three of you are in Texas. Dave’s made it pretty clear that he DOES NOT want Dirk to know what’s going on and when Dirk questioned why you’re all going to Houston, he just vaguely told him it was to finish things up. He definitely wasn’t happy with that answer but seemed to let it go when he realized his brother wasn’t going to tell him anything more. You notice that Dirk seemed more reserved after that but you figured it was just because he could tell Dave was not telling him the whole truth.

Since your only role in the trial will be as a witness, you’ve unofficially volunteered yourself to keep Dirk occupied as Dave and Ms. Harley prepare everything else for court. You remember your vow to yourself over Christmas break to find Dirk more friends and your solution to this and keeping him occupied comes from the Children’s Robotics class you enroll him in down at the community center. Unsurprisingly, there’s not many other kids enrolled in the class but thankfully there is one other kid who Dirk seems to get along with, although you think they might get along so well due to their shared social awkwardness.

One day, not long before the trial, you overhear the kid, Equius, asking Dirk if he wants to come to his cousin’s birthday party next month and you’re confused when Dirk tells him ‘No, because he won’t be around much longer’. You make a mental note to ask him about it after class.

\-----

“Hey Dirk,” you say as the two of you are walking home later that afternoon. “What did you mean when you told Equius that you ‘weren’t going to be around much longer’?”

“Nothing,” he responds way too fast.

“You can tell me,” you assure him. He looks down at the ground and you can tell he’s trying not to cry.

“I… I know Bro’s trying to get me back,” he says so low you can barely hear him.

“What? How do you know that?” you ask and this time he really does start to cry.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay little dude,” you say and pick him up for a hug. “You’re not in trouble. I promise.”

He cries against you and you don’t even care that he’s basically wiping his snot all over your shirt. You just want him to know that everything’s okay.

“I snuck into Dave’s room and went through his stuff and found the letter,” he wails. Fuck.

“Dirk, it’s okay. I’m not mad,” you try to assure him although it’s not working.

You try a different angle, “We’re not going to let Bro get you back. You’re safe. We won’t let him take you.”

Dirk calms down a bit and you pat his back, relieved that your reassurances worked. You are fully not expecting what he says next. “No. I want him to take me. Then Dave can be happy and go and live with Rose and Roxy and he won’t have to work all the time either.”

You pull him away from your chest so that you can look at him and he stares back up at you with wide, tear filled eyes. “Dirk, no. Why would you think that? Dave loves you. We all love you.”

He shakes his head. “I know but it would be easier without me. I’ll be okay with Bro,” he tells you and you can tell he’s trying to sound brave.

“Dirk. Fuck. No. Okay, no. You don’t make Dave’s life hard or any of our lives hard. We love you so, so much. We’d be miserable without you. Do you understand that?”

He stares back at you and it’s obvious that he’s not convinced. Fuck. “Alright, let’s get home,” you tell him and race home as quickly as you can with Dirk still in your arms.

You want to burst through the door and loudly demand that Dave and Ms. Harley get their asses to the living room, but instead you quietly come in, place Dirk on the couch, and then go search them out. Not making Dirk nervous is your biggest priority right now. Dave and Ms. Harley follow you to where he’s still seated on the couch.

“What’s going on, dude?” Dave asks you as he takes a seat next to Dirk on the couch. Ms. Harley goes to sit in her favorite chair and you sit on the opposite side of Dirk.

“Is it okay if I tell them?” you ask, directing you question to Dirk. He looks like a deer in headlights but eventually slightly nods his head in affirmation.

“Dirk knows that Bro is trying to get custody back,” you say to the adults in the room.

“Shit. I’m so sorry little man. I didn’t want you to have to worry about it,” Dave says and pulls Dirk into his lap so he can hug him.

“That’s not the whole issue,” you continue and Dave and Ms. Harley both look at you, confused.

“Dirk thinks that it will be a good thing if he goes back to Bro and that all of our lives will be easier and that you can finally go live with Rose and Roxy.”

Dave and Ms. Harley both stare at you as if they can’t believe the words that just came out of your mouth. Dave pulls Dirk away from his chest, much like you did earlier, so that he can look him in the face.

“Is that true little man?” he questions, and Dirk gives a small nod.

“Dirk, no. You don’t make my life hard, you make my life worth living! I’d be fucking lost without you. You’re my best little bro, dude. You’re the peanut butter to my jelly, the Salt to my Pepa, the Snoop to my Dogg, the apple juice to my doritos, the sick beat to my rhymes, the Sweet Bro to my Hella Jeff.” Dirk giggles and Dave pulls him back into a hug. “I can’t exist without you Dirk. I don’t even want to exist without you, man. Do you understand that, little dude?”

Dirks silent for a moment before he answers. “Promise?” he asks.

“Hell fucking yes, little dude,” Dave tells him. “Not just a regular promise though, I pinky promise and you know I can’t ever break a pinky promise.”

You see Dirk smile against his brother’s chest. “And it’s not just me, little man. Ms. J and Karkat would be lost without you, too.”

“Really?”

“Of course!” Ms. Harley says and comes over to the couch. “I love you sweetie! And who would help me with my cooking and canning and in my garden if you were gone? And Bec! He would be so sad if you weren’t here.”

“That’s true!” Dirk agrees and smiles at her.

“And who would help us keep up ‘Can Town’ and draw pictures for us and go to the park with us?” you add, trying to come up with all of the things you do together. Dirk nods in agreement as he considers all this.

“What if Bro takes me away anyway?” he asks with a thoughtful look on his face.

“I won’t let him,” Dave says determinedly. “We won’t let him.”

“We won’t,” you and Ms. Harley both agree at the same time.

“Okay,” Dirk says and hugs Dave again. As he buries his face into Dave’s chest, the three of you worriedly meet each other’s gazes. You hope with everything you have that you don’t break your promises to him.

\-----

After that day, Dave makes sure to fill Dirk in on what’s going on. Realizing that keeping him out of the loop let him form his own, very wrong assumptions. You all also make a habit of letting Dirk know daily how much you love him and point out little things that each of you love and appreciate about him. It’s amazing the difference you can see in him because of it.

All too soon, the night before you’re all set to leave for Houston comes. Rose and Roxy arrived that morning and since all of you are already packed to go, you get to spend the evening hanging out with them. Dave’s a ball of nerves but you can tell that having his sisters there definitely helps calm him down.

Terezi stops by for a while as well to give you all one last pep talk about what to expect and how to deal with her aunt. You’re grateful she’s there and that she spends most of her time with you, aside from a brief moment when she follows Dave outside to talk to him.

Since the Lalonde’s are there, you and Dave don’t sleep on Dirk’s floor that night. He gives you a hug before you head into your own room and you can hear him and Rose up talking long into the night. You already knew you weren’t going to be able to sleep tonight and spend it going over what you’ll say to the judge in your head.

Morning comes much faster than you’d like and after a very emotional goodbye with Dirk, Rose and Roxy you all get in the cab and head to the airport. Less than three hours later, you, Dave, and Ms. Harley are strapped into your plane seats and on your way to Houston, not quite certain what the future holds for you.

 

_**==== > BE DAVE STRIDER. A FEW HOURS IN THE PAST... BUT NOT MANY.** _

 

You’re trying not to freak the fuck out as everyone around you talks about the upcoming trial but it’s not easy. You want to go sit next to Karkat but he’s busy talking to Terezi so instead you decide to take a breather and step outside. You’re only out there a cool minute before Terezi joins you and honestly, you’re not very excited about this fact.

“Hey cool kid, how’s it hanging?” she asks as she comes up beside you.

“As cool as ever,” you reply.

“You’re not going to lose Dirk. I’m so sure about that I can almost taste it,” she says, cutting right to the chase, and gives you one of her maniacal grins.

“Thanks, TZ,” you say and the conversation falls flat.

“So, how are things with you and Karkat?” she asks, probably just trying to break the awkward silence.

“Rad as fuck. Better bros than ever.”

“Still just bros? I thought you were going to confess back to him in February or something?”

“Oh. Yeah. I kinda did... I guess? He pretty much shot me down though.”

“What? How’d he do that?”

“Uh. Basically, told me I wasn’t his type. Too pale or some shit.” God, you don’t want to have this conversation right now.

“Oh my fucking god. You two are ridiculous. When he said that, did he say as a question?”

“Uh. I think so… Why?”

“You two really are idiots, you know that? I swear you were made for one another. There’s a reason he said as a question when he said he wasn’t attracted to you, Dave. Think about it,” she says and bonks your forehead with her finger before she turns and goes back inside.

Uh, what the fuck just happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 more chapters to go 
> 
> Find me on Tumblr [ @ nuwanda717 ](//www.tumblr.com/blog/nuwanda717)


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The TRIAL *insert ominous music*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me start out by saying a huge THANK YOU to [zibilart](https://zibilart.tumblr.com/) for creating some stunningly gorgeous [fanart](https://78.media.tumblr.com/ffe04cbd1fd9ead07468d3aa5ac40384/tumblr_p5t89bdEgy1wl0xi3o1_1280.png) for chapter 16! It's lovely and you all should go check it out and show her some love =)  
> And let's all give a huge thank you to [nomisupernova](http://nomisupernova.tumblr.com/) for editing this chapter so fast and making it possible to post it tonight! 
> 
> Just a few quick notes for this chapter  
> 1\. Terezi's aunt is essentially Neophyte Redglare but since thats more of a title than a name, she'll be called Latula in this (Also, she's supposed to be a very experienced, badass lawyer and neophyte means like the exact opposite lol)  
> 2\. Cronus is Bro's lawyer, lmao. I wanted you all to be able to visualize what a skeevy lawyer Bro would hire and Cronus was perfect for the part lol  
> 3\. I _know_ that the trial is not all that realistic but for the sake of dramatics (and my mental health) I just decided to write it more along the lines of a movie court drama, so don't be too critical lol  
>  4\. Also, I had a reader ask who Karkat's mom is in this (since I've include some alpha/ancestor trolls) and even though she's not in this chapter, I just want to let you all know that I visual the Condesce while writing her
> 
> Alright, strap in y'all, this chapter is gonna be a helluva ride ;)

Dave clenched your hand pretty much the entire flight to Houston. He was tense and quiet the whole time and you wracked your brain trying to find the magic words to make him feel better. The only things you could come up with sounded hollow and lame, so you remained quiet as well. It was probably a record amount of time of silence for both of you. Ms. Harley fell asleep almost as soon as the plane took off and you had to shake her awake once it landed.

She had made reservations at a decent hotel near the courthouse and after the three of you got settled in your rooms, Ms. Harley in hers, and you and Dave in your shared room; you had all gotten dressed and ready to meet with Terezi’s aunt. With only a day and a half until the actual trial, there wasn’t any time to dick around.

Terezi hadn’t been exaggerating when she has said her aunt was ‘the best lawyer there is’ and honestly, Dave was fucking lucky to have her representing him. Since she is licensed in another state, she had to petition the court to allow her to do so and had filed for something called a ‘pro hac vice’. According to Terezi, her aunt knows quite a few high-ranking people in Houston and was able to pull some strings to make sure her request would be granted.

She had asked the three of you to meet her for lunch in the hotel lobby and she was already seated by the time you had arrived. As the three of you approach her, she rises from her seat and extends her hand in greeting.

“Hello,” she says, shaking Ms. Harley’s hand first. “I’m Terezi’s aunt, Latula Pyrope. You must be Jade Harley, Dave Strider and Karkat Vantas?” she asks, looking at you each directly as she speaks your names.

“That’s right,” Ms. Harley responds for all of you. “It’s so nice to meet you! I can’t tell you enough how grateful we are to have you represent us.”

Latula grins and  _ holy fuck _ can you see the family resemblance. “I’d do anything for my favorite niece but honestly, I looked into Bronson Strider’s background and I can’t  _ wait _ to take this shit-bag down. It’s my  _ pleasure _ to represent you.”

Yup, she’s definitely related to Terezi.

“Shall we sit?” she asks and you all nod in agreement. You and Dave have yet to say a word and at the mention of Bro’s name he had tensed and started fidgeting almost instantly. Latula must notice as well because she addresses him as soon as everyone is seated.

“Dave,” she says, and he snaps his head up to look at her. “I know this must be hard for you but I’m giving you my word right now, we are  _ not _ letting him get custody of your little brother.”

Dave looks down at the table as she says this, but she keeps going.

“I’ll admit, he does have the best lawyer money can buy. Well, at least here in Houston anyway, he’s not better than  _ me _ , of course,” she says with a laugh that none of you join in with. “But I happen to know that the judge on this case isn’t fond of this lawyer and  _ that alone _ is going to work in our favor. But aside from that, we have a solid case against him, and I think it’s going to be damn near impossible for him to get a ruling in his favor.”

Ms. Harley nods along in agreement as Latula speaks but Dave continues to stare at the table and it’s obvious he’s not convinced. When he doesn’t react once she’s finished talking, she bangs her hand on the table, startling all of you but finally earning Dave’s attention.

“I’m serious here, kiddo. He doesn’t have a chance in hell but that’s  _ only _ if I have your  _ full _ cooperation on this, okay?” Dave gives a slight nod. “You’re going to have to go in there like you own the place and act like you’ve already won this. You can’t give the judge  _ any _ reason to doubt you.”

Something seems to click with Dave and he nods his head more fervently. Latula seems pleased and gives him another Terezi like grin.

“Alright, now that that has been established, shall we order some lunch? We can continue discussing the rest of this on full stomachs,” she offers.

“That sounds lovely,” Ms. Harley agrees, again for the three of you.

Latula calls the waiter over and everyone gets their orders placed. As your group is waiting for the food to come, Ms. Harley tries to discuss the case some more but Latula cuts her off, insisting that ‘trial talk’ can wait until every has eaten.

Instead, she pulls the three of you into conversation, asking about Dirk and what it’s like living in Washington. She questions Ms. Harley about why she decided to become a foster mother so many years ago and you about growing up with Terezi as a friend. She asks Dave what he’s studying in college and if he enjoys his current job.

She weaves all of her questions in as if they were just a part of a normal, flowing conversation but you don’t doubt for a second that she’s asking them for a reason. You hope that you’ve all given her answers that she can work with.

True to her word, after everyone is finished eating, Latula pulls the case file out of her briefcase almost immediately. She goes into complete lawyer mode and brings you all up to date on what to expect, what your roles will be and how to present yourself to the judge. Dave gets a little upset when she tells him that it will be in his best interest to testify but after you all assure him, he begrudgingly accepts it.

After a few hours and two more appetizers, Latula suggests breaking for the evening. She lets you all know that she’ll be staying in the same hotel and gives everyone her room and cell phone number, assuring you all that you can contact her at any time. You agree to meet in her room at eight the next morning, the last full day before the trial.

\-----

Ms. Harley joins you and Dave in your room for awhile and the three of you go over all the information from Latula. Dave doesn’t add much to the conversation, but he sticks close to your side throughout it. When it gets late enough, Ms. Harley suggests ordering a pizza. After everyone has eaten, she lets you and Dave know that she’s going to turn in for the night and with a quick hug to each of you, she retreats to her own room.

Aside from the brief time you and Dave spent getting ready earlier in the day, this is the first time the two have you been alone today. After securing the extra door lock after Ms. Harley leaves, Dave turns back towards you and comes straight into your arms for hug. You, of course, oblige him.

“I don’t wanna fuckin’ do this, man,” he says into your neck.

“I know, dude. I wish you didn’t have to,” you lamely say back. His grip on you tightens and you can hear his breathing start to hitch. You hold onto him until he pulls away.

“Did you bring any books with you?” he asks.

“No,” you say and his face falls. “But I have a couple on my phone that I could pull up.”

“Fuck yeah man. That’d be the shit.”

Even though he didn’t directly say it, you know that he wants you to read to him.

“Alright. Wanna get ready for bed in case we fall asleep?” you ask him and he nods in affirmation.

You both take turns in the bathroom, showering and putting on your pajamas and shit. Even though Ms. Harley got you a room with two beds, you both crawl into the same one without even questioning it. Dave snuggles in next to you and you let him choose from the books you have saved to your phone. You have several different genres saved, but Dave still ends up choosing a romance one. That fucking sap.

You begin reading to him and, like he always does, Dave fidgets around. He taps out beats on your leg, pulls at a string on the blanket, readjusts constantly and at one point he moves so that he’s halfway sprawled across your legs.

Without giving it much thought, you begin to rub his back but almost as soon as you touch him, he freezes up and grabs your hand.

“Not tonight,” he says, giving you a guilty look. “Not my back… Sorry.”

You nod at him and you hate that he feels bad about stopping you. You move your hand to his hair instead and give him a small smile to let him know that you understand and that it’s okay. He settles back down and you keep reading.

About a half an hour later, you’re close to drifting off and from the sound of his breathing you can tell Dave is too. You shut your phone off and toss it on to the side table and gently prod at Dave so that he’ll move off your legs. He does and moves up so that he can lay next to you. You adjust so that he can move closer and as he does you both throw an arm around one another, in what has, as of late, become your usual sleeping position.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he mumbles half asleep against your chest.

“Me too,” you agree and let yourself drift into a dreamless sleep.

\-----

The next morning, you all meet in Latula’s room as promised and instead of going out to eat somewhere, she offers to order room service. She runs each of you through questions that the judge and Bro’s lawyer might ask. She goes over what she’ll be telling the judge and even lets all of you make suggestions and point out any errors. She makes sure Dave knows what photos and evidence are going to be presented, what she’ll counter with if Bro’s lawyer brings up any false allegations. She even makes the three of you show her what you’ll be wearing to make sure it’s up to her apparent standards.

It’s a long, emotional, exhausting as fuck day, to say the least. But, you can definitely say that Latula knows her shit and her confidence has spread to you, Ms Harley, and even Dave. Thank god.

By the time you make it back to your rooms that night, you and Dave are both so drained that after kicking off your shoes, you collapse onto the bed. Dave grunts at you, more than likely because of the space you left between yourselves when you laid down, but instead of moving closer he just holds out his hand for you to take, which you of course do.

“Tomorrow’s going to suck major fuckin’ ass, dude,” he says.

“Yeah, but at least it will finally be over.”

“But what if… what if he gets Dirk?”

“He won’t,” you tell him firmly and squeeze his hand. “You can’t think like that. You have to be strong for Dirk.”

“I’m not strong though. Dirk looks at me like I’m a hero but I’m not a hero, dude.”

“I’m sure there’s some deeply philosophical shit I should say here about how you not seeing yourself as a hero is what makes you a hero, but fuck that. There’s a reason Dirk thinks of you as his hero and that’s not going to change. You  _ have _ to fight for him tomorrow.”

“What if I freeze up or some shit and fuck everything up? This shit’s way more intense than anything I’ve been through and I just… I don’t… I don’t fuckin’  _ want _ to see him tomorrow.”

“I know,” you say to him and give his hand another squeeze. “I know you can do this though, and me and Ms. Harley will be right there with you. Let that motherfucker try anything and I’ll drop his fucking ass. And fuck, you saw how Terezi’s aunt was today. She knows her fucking shit. We’ve got this.”

Dave gives you a small, half-hearted smile but otherwise keeps quiet. You lie there together for several long moments, hands still clasped together and the silence weighs heavy on your heart.

“Dave?”

“Hmm?”

“Even _ if _ he does get custody, we’ll never stop trying to get Dirk back. We’ll appeal and refile and if nothing else, Dirk will always know that we’re fighting for him. That we never gave up.”

Dave’s mouth twists down slightly and he breaks from holding your hand but it's only so he can close the rest of distance between the two of you. He rests his head on your chest and his fingers grip tight on your shirt.

“Thanks ‘Kat,” he rasps out and you can tell that you said what he needed to hear. You hold him tight and it’s not long before he falls into a restless sleep. Even as exhausted as you are, you’re not as lucky. You practice, over and over, in your head every scenario that might play out tomorrow and it’s almost dawn before you finally pass out yourself.

\-----

The next morning comes much too quickly and the mood is somber at best. You and Dave take turns showering and getting dressed and you hate the part of your brain that notices how fucking  _ good _ Dave looks in his suit. He notices you too, but for a wholly different reason.

“Dude,” he says not even trying to hide his laughter. “Sometimes you hope, and you dream, and shit just doesn’t work out, but sometimes… Sometimes things just end up being even better than you could have ever imagined.”

“What bullshit is spilling out of your mouth now, Strider?”

“The sweater vest, man. It’s fucking glorious. I mean, I knew you planned on wearing it but actually seeing it on you??? Fucking magical, dude. I might actually cry at the pure beauty of this.”

“Wow! Fuck you, Dave! I’ll have you know that Kanaya helped me pick it out. She said it looked wholesome,” you snap at him, crossing your arms and glaring at him.

“Wholesome? God, yes. Fuckin’ wholesome, that’s perfect,” he says, laughing harder. He pulls out his phone and snaps a picture of you before you even have a chance to react. “Can I post this on my blog? Please say yes dude, the world  _ needs _ to see you in all your  _ wholesome _ glory.”

You want to tell him no, you really fucking do. You want to tell him to go fuck himself and grab his phone away from him and delete what you’re sure is an awful picture of you. But he looks so hopeful and happy, two looks you haven’t seen on him much lately, so instead you mentally admit defeat and throw up your hands.

“Fucking fine! I don’t give a flying fuck!”

“You sure, dude?”

“Yes. Fucking post it.”

He flops down on to the bed, belly down and you cringe at the wrinkles he’s almost certainly putting on his dress shirt. As he starts typing away on his phone, a stupid smile still ghosting his lips, you go over to the mirror in the hallway and take a look at yourself.

You had actually liked how the sweater vest made you look. Fuck, that sure was a stupid thought. Like you would actually look good in  _ anything _ ? God dammit. Latula had seemed to think it would be okay when she inspected your clothes but maybe she just wanted a laugh at your expense too.

You try smoothing down the few invisible wrinkles on the front of the vest, as if that could help you look any less stupid. You consider taking the fucking vest off but then you’ll probably look like a waiter or something. You didn’t bring anything else that would even remotely work for a court hearing and you wonder if maybe the hotel gift shop sells anything you could wear? The vest did make Dave laugh for the first time since you’ve landed in Houston though, maybe you should just keep it on…”

“Hey,” Dave says as he lightly touches your side. You were so lost in your own thoughts that you didn’t hear him come up beside you and you almost jump out of your skin, stupid fucking sweater vest and all.

“Don’t fucking sneak up on me like that, fucker!” you yell at him, probably a little too harshly. It’s not like he has a court case in an hour where he has to face his abuser and possibly lose custody of his little brother or anything. Fuck, Karkat, can you not be an asshole for once?

“Hey,” he says again, his only reaction to your outburst is a small smile. “You know I’m not making fun of you about the vest, right?”

“Oh yeah, that was just crystal fucking clear by all your laughing, Strider. But any doubts I had were cleared up when you posted it on your blog so the rest of the world could laugh at me as well. Of course, I know you’re not making fun of me,” you reply in your snarkiest voice. God, can you just stop being an asshole for even a  _ second _ ?

“Oh my god, dude, you’re so dramatic,” he says but there’s no real annoyance behind his words. “I laughed because you look hella fuckin’ cute and also maybe a little because it’s a fuckin’  _ sweater vest  _ but you’ve gotta agree that’s pretty justifiable, man.”

“Can we not talk about the stupid fucking vest anymore? I know I look stupid but what else is new? I’ve accepted my fate.”

“Dude, no. I’m serious, you’re like the only guy in existence who’s hot enough to wear a sweater vest and make it look good,” he says and pulls his phone from his pocket and holds it up for you. “Here, look, everyone on my blog is already saying the same thing.”

As much as you don’t want to, you grab his phone and scroll though the comments. Sure enough, the few that have been left are mostly compliments towards you, well, except for Egbert’s, who left a solid 20 lines of hahaha’s.” You make a mental note to kick his ass the next time you see him. You thrust the phone back at Dave.

“See? You look fucking good. It’s just cute as fuck you’re wearing a  _ sweater vest _ .”

“God, okay. Can we please fucking stop saying  _ sweater vest _ , now?”

He gives you another small smile and brushes your hair out of your face from where it had become disheveled during your fit. You can’t stop yourself from blushing but you’re thankfully saved from anymore embarrassment by Ms. Harley knocking on your door. Dave goes to let her in and you take one last glance in the mirror, maybe you were right about sweater vests being a good look for you?

It was probably not the best idea for you and Dave to spend the last part of your morning before the trial focused on what you were wearing but the way Dave had smiled and laughed makes you wonder if maybe it was. It took his mind off of things, even if just for a few minutes, and it was the most relaxed you’ve seen him since he received the summons letter back in February. Yeah, he definitely was in need of a good distraction, you decide with finality. Even if it was in the form of your stupid fucking  _ sweater vest _ .

Ms. Harley sweeps into the room and after giving both you and Dave a good morning hug, she spends a few minutes giving Dave a pep talk and assuring him that ‘everything will be ok.’ The three of you head down to the lobby to meet Latula as you had agreed upon the night before, and together, all four of you drive to the courthouse. Latula spends the entire ride summarizing everything she went over with everyone yesterday and makes sure you’re all good to go.

Once there, Latula leads your group inside and even though she’s from out of state, you would think that she owns the place. She takes you right through security and directly to the courtroom. Your group is the first to arrive and you don’t fail to notice Dave’s sigh of relief as he scans the court room and finds it Bro-free. Latula and Dave take their seats at the defendant’s table while you and Ms. Harley take the seats directly behind them.

Dave’s DCFS case worker, Mrs. Rollins, who flew into Houston that morning, arrives soon after and Latula quickly briefs her as she gets everything organized. While you and Ms. Harley will both be character witnesses, Mrs. Rollins is going to be an expert witness and will presenting all of the documents from the police, other DCFS workers’ written statements and case photos, as well as the documents from Dave’s doctor confirming injuries consistent with years of abuse. She’s pretty fucking important, to say the least.

As she and Latula are talking, the courtroom doors swing open and a group of three people enter together. You don’t need Dave to tell you it’s Bro. His coloring and features are similar enough to Dave’s to be able to tell they’re related, but it’s the sheer fucking  _ cockiness _ that he exudes that really leaves no doubt to his identity.

Although his eyes are amber, there’s no warmth behind them. All you see is a cold and calculated mask of barely contained fury as his eyes sweep the room and he takes in his surroundings. He’s only slightly taller than Dave but his build is drastically different. Even wearing a suit you can tell he’s all muscle and he moves with the fluid prowess of a tiger. He’s obviously not a man anyone would want to go against and it makes your blood boil at the thought of Dave,  _ at any age, _ having to go up against him. With fucking  _ swords _ no less!

As he finishes his sweep of the room, his gaze lands on Dave and you wish you could smack the smirk he gives him right off of his goddamn face. Dave became tense as a board as soon as the doors had swung open, and as Bro and his team continue the rest of the way into the courtroom, he doesn’t move an inch. As the trio moves to take their seats on the Plaintiff’s side, Bro stops, his eyes still on Dave.

“Little man,” he says with a nod of his head, as if him greeting Dave was the most natural thing in the world. Dave doesn’t respond but you notice he balls his hands into fists, probably to hide the shaking.

“I’d appreciate it if you could refrain from speaking to my client, Mr. Strider,” Latula says stepping in front of Dave to block him from Bro as much as possible.

“Why of course, darlin’,” Bro answers her, his face full of fake sincerity. “I’ll just have to have my heartfelt reunion with my son another day.”

The implied threat behind his words is clear from the ice-cold tone of his voice but before any of you can answer him, he turns away and heads to the table where his lawyer and, you’re assuming, witness, are waiting.

As soon as Bro’s gaze is off him, Dave slumps into his seat and Latula places her hand comfortingly on his shoulder. “Ignore him. You’ve got this,” you her hear whisper to him. You rise from your seat to go to his side just as the judge enters the courtroom and you lose your chance. God Dammit!

“All rise. Court is now in session, the Honorable Judge Zepeda presiding. Everyone remain standing until the judge enters and is seated,” the bailiff announces to the room.

As the judge takes her seat, the rest of you do the same and Ms. Harley must sense that you’re upset because she grabs your hand and gives it a gentle squeeze.

After the bailiff has called the dockets and announced the case specifics the Judge greets the court and asks the lawyers if they are ready for the trial to begin. When they both affirm this, she states that they may proceed with their opening statements.

Since Dave’s Bro is the plaintiff in this case, his lawyer gets to give his statement first and he rises to do so. As the lawyer walks to the front of the courtroom, Dave turns around and looks at you. You try to give him a reassuring look, but you hate that you can’t do anything more. The lawyer starts to speak and both of your attentions snap to him.

“Good morning, Your Honor. My name is Cronus Ampora and it is my privilege to stand as counsel in this case for Mr. Bronson Strider, a hard working and admirable man. A man who took it upon himself to raise his young son, by himself, after his wife, a known alcoholic, left him to pursue a relationship with a woman. A man who toiled everyday in order to build a business that could provide his son with the life he deserved. A man who, not only raised one son on his own, but also took sole custody of his second son, years later, when another woman whom he had grown to love, turned her back on him and their child.”

“He may not have made the wisest decisions when it came to his choice in women, Your Honor, but his decision to love and raise his sons is something we should all take a moment to admire. It is because of those two sons that we are here today. Despite Mr. Strider’s best efforts to raise his oldest son into a respectable, strong young man, that son, Dave, the defendant here today, thwarted him at every turn. He was an insolent, violent and dishonest teenager, who took advantage of his father’s every kindness, Your Honor. All things that I’m here to prove to you today through facts and testimonies. And now that same son is trying to take Mr. Strider’s youngest child, his pride and joy, his last hope of happiness, from him.”

“Your Honor, this last year has been absolute  _ torture _ for Mr. Strider as he’s been kept separated from his youngest child, Dirk. It’s been a  _ nightmare _ that I’m hoping we can put to rest today in this courtroom. It’s my sole duty to prove to you today that Dirk belongs with his father, a loving, caring and stable man and not in the  _ volatile, unstable custody _ of his older brother, David. I believe once you hear the facts of this case, your decision will be easy. I thank you, Your Honor. That is all.”

The lawyer, Mr. Ampora, turns away from the judge to return to his seat and you hope with every ounce of your being that he trips and falls onto his smug fucking face. That motherfucker. That absolute piece of fucking trash. You don’t care that he’s just doing his job, it’s obvious that he’s a skeevy piece of shit and you hate his guts.

“Thank you, Mr. Ampora,” the Judge says. “As usual, that was quite an introduction. Would the Defense care to make a statement?”

“Yes, Your Honor. Thank you,” Latula says and rises from her seat to go before the Judge.

“Good morning, Your Honor. My name is Latula Pyrope and I’m here today to represent the defendant, David Strider. Your Honor, I could spend this time weaving you an exaggerated fairy tale of my client’s merits but that’s not what I’m here to do today. I’m here today to present you  _ facts _ and I know that those facts will speak for themselves.”

“David, despite the years of abuse he suffered at the hand of his father, is an exceptional young man and an outstanding caregiver to his young brother Dirk. A young man who, despite the trials he has faced, has persevered and proven time and time again to show everyone around him what a capable and good person he is. A young man who, despite being barely an adult himself, has stepped up to care for his brother and to keep him safe and healthy  _ no matter what it takes. _ I have no doubt that after the documents and witnesses are presented here today, you’ll come to that same conclusion yourself, Your Honor. That concludes my opening statement, thank you.”

The Judge thanks Latula and gives her a warm smile, one you notice she was lacking when she spoke to Bro’s lawyer. She comes back and takes her seat next to Dave and gives him a small smile. You’re relieved that he returns it.

The Judge asks if the prosecution has any witnesses and Mr. Ampora calls up Bro as his first witness. Strider rises from his seat and struts up to the witness stand. Even seething with hate for him, you can’t help but think about what an intimidating presence he has. He gives the Judge the same cocky smile he gave Latula as he takes his seat and Mr. Ampora takes him through the typical oath that he won’t commit perjury. 

“Mr. Strider,” Ampora begins. “Could you begin by telling us about the relationship you have with your eldest son?”

“It’s not what it used to be, that’s for sure,” he drawls out, his Texan accent so much more pronounced than Dave’s.

“Could you elaborate on that, please?”

“Well, when Dave was younger we were real close. He looked up to me and wanted to be just like me. I like to think that he saw me as some kind of hero or something.”

“What would you say changed in your relationship with him?”

“When he was around twelve or maybe thirteen he started becoming more violent and showing interest in things like sword fighting and different types of weapons. I thought at first it was just part of him growing up, and I tried to take an interest in it as well but when he started to get hurt, I tried to put a stop to it. I think that’s when he began  _ really _ rebelling against me.”

“What do you mean when you say that he started getting hurt?” Ampora asks him.

“He had a group of friends that were interested in the same things as him and they would practice fighting with their weapons together. I think a lot of them used swords and Dave would come home cut and bleeding. I’m sure he still has some of the scars from back then.”

Dave silently shakes his head and you are literally shaking with rage at the out right lies Bro is fucking spinning. If you weren’t so fucking angry, you might have to give him props for thinking up such a convincing lie to explain the scars that Dave carries.

“I see,” Ampora replies. “So Dave was already showing signs of aggression and interest in dangerous weapons when Dirk came to live with you?”

“That’s correct. I think it got worse after Dirk arrived though.”

“Do you think that may have been due to some jealousy over not being the only child in the home anymore?”

“I thought that at first, but Dave actually became so  _ possessive _ over Dirk that I think he was more jealous over losing time with Dirk than he was over losing time with me. It was like he was obsessed.”

“I see, I see. Can you tell us, Mr. Strider, what happened on the night of Dave’s eighteenth birthday? The night you lost both your sons?”

Bro takes a deep breath, as if what he’s about to say is difficult for him to talk about.  _ Just when you think you can’t hate him more, he proves you wrong. _

“Dave came home from school that day and told me that he was moving out. I begged him to stay, but I ultimately knew that I couldn’t stop him. He told me that he would be taking Dirk with him, and I, of course, argued with him. He… he grabbed Dirk and… and he yanked him towards the door and I- I grabbed him back and he fell and then Dave just… he went crazy… I really don’t remember much from that point until the police came. I just… I just wanted to keep my youngest son safe. He’s my  _ everything. _ ”

It’s so obvious that Bro is lying through his goddamn teeth. That was the most scripted piece of bullshit you’ve ever heard. You just hope the Judge realizes that as well.

“Thank you, Mr Strider. I can only imagine how hard that must have been for you. I have no further questions at this time.”

The Judge dismisses Bro back to his seat and Ampora calls up his next witness, the woman that came in with him and Bro. She’s apparently one of the police officers that was there the night of Dave’s eighteenth birthday when Bro attacked him and Dirk. She testifies that Dave was out of control when she showed up that night and that Bro was just a father trying to calm down one son and protect the other. From the looks that she keeps shooting Bro’s way, it’s pretty obvious that they’re sleeping together _ or _ that she’s hoping for that outcome. That would at least explain her reasoning for being a lying sack of shit. God, you really hope Judge Zepeda is picking up on this shit.

After Ampora is finished questioning Officer-whats-her-ass and presenting the police reports from Dave’s two run-ins with the law, you assume he’s done and shift your attention back to Latula and Dave, figuring they’ll be called up next.

You’re completely caught off guard when you hear Ampora call ‘David Strider’ as his next witness. Fuck. What angle is he going to pull by questioning Dave?

As soon as his name was called, Dave goes rigid in his seat. Latula places her hand on his shoulder and whispers something in his ear. He nods and gives you and Ms. Harley a quick glance as he stands and makes his way to the witness stand.

The Judge smiles at him as he takes his seat and as he returns it, your heart surges with hope. The Judge seems to be on his side and that means nothing but good things. Before anyone else can speak, Bro coughs and Dave looks his way and they make eye contact. God fucking dammit.

You can visibly see the instant change in Dave. His posture changes, he’s still stiff but he reverts to the slightly hunched stance that gives the appearance of aloofness that he kept almost constantly when you had first met him. His mouth smooths out into a thin line and he reaches up to adjust his shades that aren’t there. Fuck, this is _ not _ going to be good. Fuck, fuck,  _ fuck. _

“Mr. Ampora,” the Judge says, not seeming to notice the change in Dave. “I would like a chance to speak your witness before you question him.”

“Of course, Your Honor,” he responds with a hollow smile. It’s obvious he’s not pleased by the Judge’s request and also just as obvious that she could care less. She turns her attention back to Dave.

“Hello, Dave.”

“Yo.”  _ Shit. _

“I’ve read quite a bit about you from your case file and it’s nice to meet you.”

“Cool.”  _ Fuck.  _

You pray to every god in existence that Dave will look your way. Maybe, just maybe, if you can hold eye contact with him for even a second, he’ll break out of his Bro induced spell. But he doesn’t look at you and he keeps giving shitty responses to the Judge, whose frown grows deeper and deeper.

“It sounds like your little brother is pretty special.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty rad.” He tries to adjust his absentee shades again.

“Mmmhmm... He’s made some pretty  _ big _ improvements while in your care, is that right?”

“Yeah.”  _ God dammit, Dave. Please, snap out of this. _

“Okay… Well, Mr. Ampora, I’ll let you resume your questioning at this point” Judge Zepeda says and it’s obvious from the look on her face that she doesn’t know what to make of Dave’s behavior. You have to stop yourself from facepalming and you can see Ms. Harley’s knuckles turning white from where she grips her chair.

Mr. Ampora and Bro share a smug smirk before he begins his questioning and it’s all you can do to stay in your seat and keep quiet. Mr. Ampora doesn’t question Dave much, probably pleased with the how the Judge’s questioning turned out and knowing he didn’t need to do much more.

He asks him about growing up with Bro and his fight with the kids at the playground. He questions him about his shoplifting and the night of his birthday. Mr. Ampora twists Dave’s words around until they effectively paint the picture that he wants and Dave, in his current state, just lets it happen.

“Your Honor, I have no further questions at this time,” Ampora says and Judge Zepeda dismisses him and Dave back to their seats. Dave keeps his head down on his walk back to his spot and as much as you will him to, he still won’t look your way.

“Okay everyone,” she says. “We’re going to take a short fifteen-minute recess and when court resumes, I’ll hear from the defense.”

\-----

Latula leads your group into the hallway and finds an empty bench that will offer some relative privacy.

“I fucked up. I fucking fucked up,” Dave says before anyone else has a chance to speak and he sinks down onto the bench. You go and sit by his side and he instantly leans into you.

“That wasn’t the most ideal situation but it’s not over yet, Dave,” Latula tells him, all business. “I don’t think we should have you take the stand again as we don’t want to chance another… surprise. We’re going to need to focus on witness testimony now. Mrs. Rollins, your testimony is going to be the most important and there’s a few changes I’m going to make in the questions I ask you.”

Latula continues going over the changes with Mrs. Rollins and then moves onto Ms. Harley. As they’re talking, you focus fully on Dave and run you fingers through his hair as he stays pressed against your side.

“I  _ fucked up, _ dude. He’s going to get, Dirk.”

“No. Don’t fucking say that, Dave.”

“It’s true though. I  _ told you _ I wasn’t a hero, that I wasn’t strong. I fuckin’  _ knew _ I was gonna fuck up and I did.”

“No,” you tell him and shift so that you can look him in the face. “It’s not over yet, Dave. We can still win this.”

He shakes his head but doesn’t argue with you any further. You continue to stroke your fingers through his hair as you mentally try to think up ways that you can shift the Judge’s decision in your favor. Latula lets you know that you can keep to your originally planned testimony but you still try to think of ways to make it better.

All too soon, court resumes. Latula calls Mrs. Rollins as her first witness and they go over all the points that they had planned. Mrs. Rollins tries to emphasize all of the reasons she thinks so highly of Dave, especially when Judge Zepeda asks if Dave has ever shown any signs of being an unfit guardian.

Latula does her best to drive home the gravity of Dave’s home life growing up when she presents the Doctor’s testimony and the reports from the other DCFS workers and Dave and Dirk’s therapists. The judge listens intently but you can’t help but notice that she’s lost the warm smile she had had before questioning Dave.

After Mrs. Rollins’ testimony finishes up, it’s Ms. Harley’s turn and it’s the most professional and charming you think you’ve ever seen her. She reiterates many of Mrs. Rollins’s points regarding Dave’s character and makes sure that the Judge knows just how much experience she’s had with foster children. Judge Zepeda is obviously impressed with Ms. Harley, but you can tell she’s still unsure about Dave, unfortunately.

Finally, Latula calls for her last witness. It’s you, you’re the witness. God, you hope you don’t fuck this up even worse. You take a deep breath and try to calm your shaking as you walk up to take the stand. You glance at Dave but his eyes haven’t left the table since the trial resumed. You make sure to smile at the Judge as you take your seat.

“Can you state your name and relationship to the defendant, please,” Latula begins.

“Karkat Vantas and I’m Dave’s best friend and also a babysitter for Dirk.”

“How did you come to be best friends with the defendant?”

“We were paired up for a project in our shared English class,” you explain. “I offered to watch Dirk for him when I learned he was having trouble finding a babysitter and we just grew closer after that. He’s easy to be friends with.”

“What do you believe makes David ‘easy to be friends with’?” Latula prods you, just as she practiced with you yesterday. Her plan with your testimony is to present the judge with a peer’s point of view on what makes Dave likeable and hence, a good role model to Dirk.

“He…” You start to say and mentally punch yourself as you stumble over your words. You’ve practiced this speech at least a million times in your head but after Dave’s disaster time on the witness stand it just doesn’t feel like it will be as effective as it would have before. You make a split-second decision and decide to slightly alter what you tell the judge and turn slightly so that you’ll be facing her while you talk.

“It actually took me awhile to discover that Dave had any likeable qualities. I hated him when we first met,” you begin and the Judge cocks her head to the side questioningly. “I thought he was just a stuck-up jerk who didn’t care about anything besides himself and being cool. He always had the same stupid, stoic expression on his face and monotone voice and stupid responses to everything I said. After we began to spend more time together though, all of those things slowly began to chip away and I got to see the  _ real _ Dave.” 

“What do you mean?” the Judge asks you and you notice that Latula takes a step back as you continue talking.

“I mean that the way that Dave came across, the way he presented himself, it was all just an act and it was an act he had implanted into his head growing up. The Dave underneath all of that bulls--- all of those  _ things, _ is kind and smart and sweet and funny. He’s a literal example of that saying ‘don’t judge a book by it’s cover’.”

“Can you give me any examples of what you mean?”

“I could sit here all day and still not be able to tell you all of the good things about Dave, Your Honor,” you say and she smiles at you again. “But I guess if I had to pick a few, I’d start with how much he loves his little brother. When I first met them, they were living in a small studio apartment, but Dave had turned a corner of it into a room for Dirk. He had a special racecar bed and really cool furniture that Dave had painted for him and the walls were covered in pictures that they drew together. I’ve never seen anything like it and he put all that time into making Dirk’s spot special while he slept on a broken-down futon and kept his clothes in a cardboard box.”

“Hmmm,” the Judge murmurs and she glances over at Dave, who is still staring at the table.

“Everything he does, he does for Dirk. He spends all of his free time reading and playing with him. He makes sure he eats healthy and plays outside every day. He’s Dirk hero and honestly, I can’t think of a better role model for any kid than Dave.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“Because he’s one of the few people I’ve met who is truly good, through and through. He cares about the people around him and goes out of his way to help if anyone needs it. He’s respectful to everyone and doesn’t mind hard work. He loves animals and making people laugh and if he hurts anyone’s feelings, he always tries to make it right. One time he even chased this tiny piece of paper across the sidewalk just because he didn’t want to litter. He’s just… a great person and  he doesn’t even have to  _ try  _ to be good, it just comes naturally to him. It’s coming across as a jerk that he has to work at. I’m proud to call him my best friend.”

“Well I can see why. I’m sure he feels the same way,” the Judge says to you and she gives you the same warm smile that she had when the trial had begun.

“Sounds to me like he just wants to suck his dick,” Bro’s voice cuts through the courtroom. He’s eyes spit fire as they glare at you and you know that he’s pissed that you’ve probably won the judge back to Dave’s side.

“Mr. Strider,” Judge Zepeda say, banging her gavel. “If you have another outburst like that, I will hold you in contempt of court.”

“I’m just stating facts your honor. I don’t think he’s a viable witness since it’s clear what his motives are.”

“One more word from you and I will dismiss this case,” she threatens. “I’m not sure you’re one who should be questioning the viability of witnesses anyway.”

Bro snaps his mouth shut but otherwise he keeps quiet. You have to bite your tongue to keep from saying anything in response to his allegations. As much as you want to knock him down a few fucking pegs, Dave and Dirk come first.

“He really is just my best friend, Your Honor,” you say when she’s done speaking to Bro.

“I have no doubts,” she responds, her smile back in place. “Ms. Pyrope, you may continue with your questioning.”

“I have no further questions at this time, Your Honor,” Latula tells her and the Judge dismisses you both back to your seats.

This time Dave actually looks at you as you pass him and he gives who a very small smile. Ms. Harley beams at you as you sit back down.

Judge Zepeda asks if there are any further witnesses or evidence to be presented and when it’s confirmed that there are none, she invites each lawyer up in turn to give their closing statements.

Ampora’s closing speech lacks all of the gusto his opening one had. He’s clearly pissed off and it shows in his last half-assed attempts to convince the Judge that Bro should get custody of Dirk. Latula on the other hand, finishes as strong as she started.

Judge Zepeda thanks both sides and dismisses everyone for another short recess so that she can review the evidence. Your group stays in the courtroom this time, wanting to be there as soon as the Judge returns. Ms. Harley, Latula, and Mrs. Rollins all tell you what a good job you did and although Dave doesn’t say much, he comes to sit next to you has soon he can.

You feel better about the case than you did before the first recess, but you know that shit can still go bad. You try not to get your hopes up and swallow down the bile in your throat as you prepare for the worst. 

Ampora, Bro, and his witness stay in the courtroom as well and Ampora and Bro spend the time whispering heatedly back and forth. It’s obvious to anyone with eyes that they’re worried and pissed the fuck off.

Only about ten minutes pass before Judge Zepeda comes back into the courtroom to make her ruling and she gets straight to the point.

“After reviewing all of the evidence and taking into account the statements of the witnesses here today, it is my final decision on this case to rule in favor of David Strider and award him full and permanent custody of his younger brother, Dirk Strider…”

She’s cut off from continuing as Bro stands up abruptly from his chair and kicks it over with his foot. Mr. Ampora stands up and starts to say something but Bro physically pushes him away and then starts straight for Dave.

You and Ms. Harley both react at the same time, standing up to protect Dave if you need to, but thankfully the attending officers restrain Bro before he even gets halfway to Dave. He struggles against them, elbowing one in face, and you’re not sure if it’s accidently or on purpose, but the officer’s nose is bleeding as a result.

“Thank you, Mr. Strider,” the Judge says stoically from her stand, “for letting me know without a doubt that I made the correct ruling in this case. Officers, if you can please take Ms. Strider to the booking room for  _ assaulting an officer _ . And Officer Bentley, please go get your nose cleaned up as well.”

A stunned silence falls over the courtroom as the officers lead a still struggling Bro through one of the side doors.

“Okay, well now that  _ that _ unpleasantness is out of the way, Ms. Pyrope, if you and Dave would like to come up, we can get the official order of guardianship setup and signed straight away.

“Yes, of course, Your Honor,” Latula replies and she has to grab Dave’s hand to get him to follow her. He glances back at you and Ms. Harley and from the look on his face you’re pretty sure he’s still in shock but there’s also some obvious relief there as well.

Judge Zepeda dismisses the rest of the courtroom and since you’re not needed for the paperwork, you and Ms. Harley convene to the hallway to wait for Dave and Latula. She gives you a huge hug as soon as you’re both through the doors and you hug her back just as tight.

You’re so fucking grateful that the trial is over and that Dave won custody! You don’t know what the fuck you would have done if this wasn’t the outcome. God, the look of relief on his face when he went up to fill out paperwork is something you’ll never forget. You can’t wait until you can have a minute alone with him to truly celebrate the victory but since he’s currently busy filling out court paperwork, you’ve got other things on your agenda.

When Ms. Harley steps away for a minute to call Rose, you take your opportunity to slip out of the courtroom unnoticed and head down the hallway towards the front doors. You find a shady spot near the front of the building and lean against the wall, making sure you have a clear view of the doors. There’s no way in  _ fuck _ you’re going to miss when the police lead Bro out, this will probably be the only chance you get to give that piece of shit bastard a piece of your mind.

You’re only out there for about fifteen minutes when you see a flash of blonde hair come out of the buildings entryway. You tense up instantly, ready to do verbal battle, but you quickly realize it’s only Dave. He looks around and as soon as he spots you he bounds down the stairs towards you.

“Dude,” he says when he’s just a few feet from you. “We won! I can’t believe we fucking won!”

The smile on his face is so big and even though you came out here on a mission, it’s now the last thing on your mind.

“I fucking told you we would. One of these fucking years, you’re going to learn to listen to me,” you say back, although there’s no heat behind your words. Dave straight up giggles and opens his arms and pulls you in for a bear hug.

“I’m so fucking proud of you,” you tell him as you hug him back just as tightly.

“Proud of me? Man, fuck _ that. _ That was all you in there, dude. Fucking hero Karkat, swooping in to save the day again. Just like first night way back when, when you talked to Mrs. Rollins. We’ve come full fucking circle, dude.”

“Shut the fuck up, Dave,” you tell him to try to hide your embarrassment, as if Dave doesn’t already fucking know. Sure enough, he laughs again. As he does so a flash of movement catches your eye and you look toward the doors again and this time it’s the Strider you were waiting for coming through them.

He’s in cuffs and there’s two officers leading him out to a waiting police car. Even though Dave’s faced away from him, he must sense him because you can feel him tense in your arms. You expect him to pull away, considering all of his bullshit sexuality hang-ups came from Bro but to your surprise, he hugs you tighter.  

As much as you want to confront the older Strider, Dave comes first and you hold onto him just as tightly. As the cops lead Bro past you, you lock eyes with him and give him your best glare, hoping you can convey your hatred for him through your glare alone.

He opens his mouth and you brace yourself for what he has to say but one of the officers must realize he’s about to speak because she gives him a slight shove, cutting off whatever he had been about to say. He growls something at her that you can’t make out but by this time they’re to the police car and as the other officer opens the door, she shoves him inside and slams the door once he’s seated.

He locks eyes with you again through the car window and his mouth is moving but you can’t, nor will you attempt to, make out what he’s saying. Instead, you just lift your arms from Dave’s back and flip him off with both hands. The look of anger on his face is everything you had hoped it would be.

As the cop car pulls away, Dave sighs and sags against you and you return your full attention back to him.

“It’s okay. He’s gone,” you say as soothingly as you can.

“Yeah, fuck him,” Dave says and he pulls away from you some although not enough to fully break the hug. His arms slide down and he grips you around your waist and you mimic his motions.

“Seriously, dude, thank you. For everything,” he says, staring you straight in the eye. “I couldn’t have done any of this without you.”

“Yeah, well, now you’re free to make a great life for you and Dirk.”

His grip on you tenses again and you wonder what you said wrong.

“What?” you ask immediately. He breaks eye contact with you and looks off to the side, although he glances back at you nervously as he speaks.

“I don’t know... it’s just… uh… fuck… okay- It just sounded wrong when you said a life for ‘me and Dirk’.”

“What? Why?” you ask again, confused as fuck.

“Because uh... because I want you to be a part of that life, too.”

“Well, duh, dumbass. We’re best bros for life, you’re kinda fucking stuck with me now.”

He gives a nervous laugh and you notice that his face has turned beet red. “Well yeah, but I mean... I want to build a life together. Like, you and me together. Like... together, together.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” you demand because seriously, he’s not making much sense.

“Okay man, I’m just gonna lay this on you. Like, no homo or anything, but uh… I think I… kinda... sorta… might be in love with you.”

OkAY, that gives you pause. What the fuck? Did Dave just say he loved you? But... wait… he said no homo, so is it like a joke or a bro thing? What the fucking  _ fuck.  _ You’re not letting him get away without clarifying what exactly the fuck he means.

“Did you really just say ‘no homo’ while ‘kinda, sorta’ confessing your love for me? Is this some kind of bullshit game? Am I missing the point to something, because this isn’t fucking funny, Dave,” you snap at him and break fully from the hug so that you can cross your arms.

“Fuck. No, Shit, dude, I’m sorry. The ‘no homo’, fuck, I guess... old habits die hard or some shit,” he says and nervously rubs at the back of his neck. “Okay, let me start again.”

He looks at you for what you’re assuming is approval and when you nod at him he starts speaking again.

“Alright. Okay. So,  _ full homo _ ,” he says and flashes you a guilty smile. “I’m full on fuckin’ in love with you man. Like head over heels, floatin’ on cloud nine, walkin’ on sunshine or however the fuck people describe being in love, that’s what I feel for you. The whole fuckin’ shebang. When I build a life for me and Dirk, I want you there by our side. I wanna fall asleep next to you every night and wake up next to every mornin’. I wanna spend everyday doing everythin’ I can to make you smile and laugh. I wanna be there for your rants and your vintage shitfits, ‘cuz, let’s be honest, those are fuckin’ hilarious, dude. But seriously man, I wanna spend everyday of the rest of my life doing everythin’ I can to make you happy. I wanna romance  _ the shit out of you _ every chance I get. I wanna compliment the shit out of you just see you blush. I wanna watch every romance movie that exists with you just so I can listen to you complain about it and pick it apart even though you secretly loved it.”

“I don’t fucking do that,” you interrupt him, as if your movie critiquing is what’s important here.

“Oh my fucking god, dude, you  _ soooo _ do! But seriously, Karkat,” he says and cups your face so that you’re staring into one another’s eyes. “I fucking love you. I love you so fucking much that it scares me and I’m sorry that I’m an idiot and that it took me so long to just come out and say this and if you don’t feel that way about me, it’s okay. I mean, I know you said I wasn’t your type and shit but Terezi said somethin’ that kinda got me thinkin’ and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering if I lost my chance with the one person who’s perfect for me.”

He stops talking and caresses your check as he waits for a response but fuck, you’re so overwhelmed with emotion that your voice is caught in your throat and your stupid brain isn’t even coming up with any intelligible words to say anyway. You just stare dumbly back at him and after a few moments, he lets his hand fall from your cheek and rubs nervously at the back of his neck again.

“Uh… Shit, Karkat. If you could like, say something that would be hella fuckin’ rad cuz I’m kinda startin’ to think maybe I fucked up. I mean, if you’re not into me that’s completely fine, dude. I mean, it sucks but... I’ll get over it. We can just act like this conversation never fuckin’ happened cuz’ I don’t wanna lose you as a friend and I mean if that’s all ya wanna be, just say the word and I’ll fuckin’ confine myself to the friend zone faster than you can blink, man. I just… need you to say something… Please?”

You’re brain finally starts working and you reach for Dave. “Come here, you obtuse dunderfuck,” you say as you pull him in for a kiss. You can tell he’s surprised but it only lasts a moment before he fully reciprocates your kiss.

His lips are warm and soft and he tastes just as good as you remember. Your mind flashes back to New Years and the first time he kissed you but you push that thought from your mind as you decide it doesn’t count. The kiss that’s happening now is the only thing that matters because this time there’s no confusion or hurt feelings or misunderstandings. This time, everything’s out in the open. This time it’s with your best fucking friend who loves you. Dave! Dave loves you. He loves you, he loves you, he loves you! And you fucking love him too!

You push yourself tighter against him, gripping the side of his neck with one hand and resting the other near his waist, and focus on the kiss, hoping you can convey to him just how much you fucking love him before you even speak it out loud. He moves both of his hands to your waist and kisses you with the same fervor that you do to him. He lets out a small moan and when his mouth slightly opens because of it, you take you opportunity to lick into his mouth, caressing his tongue with your own.

You’re not sure if it startles him or overwhelms him but he breaks the kiss and stares at you, letting out a quiet ‘Whoa’ as he does. You smile at him and almost instantly he returns it with a huge grin of his own.

“Does this mean…?” He asks, letting his words trail off.

“You bet your sweet ass it does,” you tell him and you laugh when you realize that you don’t even have to feel embarrassed about mentioning his ‘sweet ass’. 

“God, I fucking love you, Dave. All those things you said? I want them too, more than any fucking thing. I love you so much and I love Dirk.” You laugh again, not for any particular reason, you’re just that fucking happy right now.

“Dude, why did you tell me on Valentine’s Day that you weren’t into me? I fucking took you out on that fancy ass date and you crushed my heart,” he asks and the feigned way he clutches at his heart lets you know that he’s not really upset about it.

“Fuck you! I didn’t know it was a fucking date. I thought you were just pulling more of your ironic bullshit,” you say in your defense.

“Dude, Terezi was so right, we’re both complete idiots,” he says with a laugh.

“Yeah, I can’t argue with that one,” you agree. Dave grabs your hand and pulls you against him so that you’re again face to face.

“She also said we’re made for one another,” he says and waggles his eyebrows. You first instinct is to push him away and call him an idiot but you’re still so happy that you smile at him instead.

“I still can’t argue with that,” you say and Dave beams when you do. You can’t help but giggle again.

“You boys all set to go?” you hear Ms. Harley’s voice call from the front of the building, cutting through yours and Dave’s lovestruck bubble. The two of you break apart instantly and glance nervously over to where she and Latula are waiting for you.

“Uh, yeah. We’re ready,” you call back and you swear that your voice doesn’t break. It didn’t. At least, not that you’ll ever admit to, anyway.

You walk the short distance over to them, although you’re both careful not to touch, and when you reach them Latula gives you both a high-five.

“You both rocked it in court today,” she exclaims and you’re more than a little relieved that she doesn’t comment on you and Dave embracing and giggling like dumbasses.

“Well, you weren’t kidding when you said you’re the best there is,” you tell her.

“Hell yeah, dude. You were awesome,” Dave agrees. “I seriously can’t ever thank you enough.”

“Just go home and spoil the  _ absolute hell _ out of you little brother, okay?” she says, giving Dave her classic Pyrope grin.  

“Don’t worry, I’m gonna spoil the absolute shit outta him,” Dave tells her.

“Good. Now I have to give you two another high five,” she says holding up both of her hands. You and Dave both hesitantly high five her.

“For what?” you ask.

“Why do you think?” she responds and gives you a wink with that same shit eating grin again. “You two make a very nice couple.”

God dammit. You can feel your face heating up as you glance at Dave. He’s red as well but he surprises you when he grabs your hand.

“Fuck yeah we do,” he responds but he only looks at you as he says it.

“It’s about time,” Ms. Harley chimes in and she grabs your other hand and squeezes it. “I’m so happy for you though.”

“Thanks Ms. J,” Dave responds again and your thankful because you still embarrassed as fuck. “Now let’s get the hell out of here. I never want to see another Houston courthouse ever again.”

“I think that’s something we can all agree with,” Ms. Harley says and pats Dave on the back. Latula starts walking towards the parking lot and the three of you follow behind. Dave doesn’t let go of your hand until you reach the car and he races ahead of you so he can hold the door open for you to get in. You notice Latula and Ms. Harley try to hide their amused smiles as they climb in the car.

“You’re an ass,” you tell him as you get in but you’re smiling like an idiot. 

“I’m a choice ass though, right?” he grins as he slides in next to you.

“No, just a plain old boring, pale, pasty-haired, flat ass,” you say, referencing the way you had described him way back on Valentine’s Day. You grab his hand as you continue. “But I kinda got a thing for those types of asses.” He snorts and squeezes your hand but doesn’t say anything else.

The drive back to the hotel is a silent one as you all reflect back on the day. Dave stares out the window, absentmindedly running his thumb over the top of your hand. Even though it’s a short ride to the hotel, you rest your head on Dave’s shoulder and just let yourself drink in the feel of him. For once there’s no nagging voice in the back of your head over-analyzing every touch between the two of you or making you feel guilty over enjoying the contact.

You had come to Houston not knowing what to expect and scared of what might happen. Now, on your last night here, you no longer fear what the future might hold. For the first time in your life, you’re truly happy and content and it’s due in a large to none other than Dave. Fucking. Strider. himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so the next and final chapter is going to be an Epilogue set in the future that will tie up all the loose ends and hopefully be verrrryyyy satisfying! ;) I’ll be post that on 4/13 because of course I will lol 
> 
> Oh and that scene where Bro is led out to the police car while Dave and Karkat hug? That scence is essentially why this was such a slow burn hell. Dave went through soooo much shit in this fic because of Bro and I wanted that scene to symbolize him being able to move on from his abuse(r) and be one last big FUCK YOU to Bro and I was fully committed to that thought. Lol hopefully you all were as satisfied with it as I was :)  
> I also thought it would be kinda entertaining to have Dave and Karkat make out in front of the court house lol
> 
> But our boys are _finally_ together!!! yay!
> 
> Also just to let you know, I am going to be writing a small side fic to this that will include the beginnings of Dave and Karkat's relationship but it's going to included some NSFW moments so I didn't want to include in the main fic ;)  
> as always thank you for reading!!


	28. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 413!!
> 
> Alright, so first things first, I gotta give shout outs to the artists who created some more fan art, because art is my absolute favorite thing and feeds my entire soul.  
> A HUGE GINORMOUS thank you to Roby @ [adorkydork](https://adorkydork.tumblr.com/) who drew some absolutely adorable [sketches](https://adorkydork.tumblr.com/image/172287631484) of so, so many of the characters! I love each and every one of these and y'all should really go check them out an show 'em some love!  
> Also, a SPECTACULARLY HUGE thank you to Em @ [thedoublepp](http://thedoublepp.tumblr.com/) who drew some [perfect art](http://thedoublepp.tumblr.com/post/172369558736/my-brain-book-covers-is-so-good-i-gotta-do-a) of the 'fuck you Bro' scene from last chapter that completely captured the entire mood of that scene! She also drew Karkat in a fucking sweater vest, which is an idea I absolutely ADORE and she even drew a stand alone picture of him [HERE](http://thedoublepp.tumblr.com/post/172382382201/the-sweater-vest) that I'm still fucking laughing about!  
> Also, I loved the idea of sweater vest Karkat so much that I was inspired to include it in the previous chapter (27)! It's 1000+ words and if you'd like to read it, it takes place the morning they're getting ready for court or you can read the tumblr post I made for it [here](https://nuwanda717.tumblr.com/post/172413895630/nuwanda717-so-i-intended-to-write-a-couple)

**==== > TEN YEARS IN THE FUTURE**

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering  tentacleTherapist [TT]

CG: TENTA DICKS??? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS LALONDE??  
TT: Too much? I could probably come up with something a bit less unconventional but personally it was the bizarreness of it that attracted me to the idea in the first place.  
CG: OF FUCKING COURSE IT WAS.  
TT: So, do you think I should come up with a different angle regarding the dicks then? Perhaps something a smidge less… tentacle-y?  
CG: OH MY FUCKING GOD. PLEASE NEVER USE THAT FUCKING WORD WHEN TALKING TO ME EVER AGAIN.  
TT: Dicks or tentacle-y?  
CG: GOD DAMNIT. BOTH OF THEM BUT SPECIFICALLY TENTACLE-Y. I CAN’T BELIEVE I EVEN HAD TO TYPE THAT BULLSHIT WORD.  
TT: I must admit that I’m quite shocked that after living with my dear brother for ten years you’re not immune to all things dick-related, Karkat.  
CG: GOD, I WELL FUCKING SHOULD BE, BUT SOMEHOW BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU, YOU STILL FIND NEW WAYS TO DISGUST ME ON A WEEKLY BASIS.  
TT: You’re welcome.  
TT: So, since you’re so opposed to the T.D.s… do you have any suggestions as to what I could use as a phallic-shaped replacement?  
CG: FIRST OF ALL, FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME HAVE THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU.  
CG: SECOND OF ALL, ABBREVIATING IT TO “T.D.” *DID NOT* MAKE IT ANY LESS ABRASIVE TO MY EYEBALLS.  
CG: AND LASTLY, AS MUCH AS I MAY PERSONALLY HATE THE FUCKING IDEA, I THINK YOU SHOULD KEEP THE TENTA… THE T.D… AO3 WILL PROBABLY BE FLOODED WITH FAN FICS ABOUT IT AFTER YOUR BOOK RELEASES.  
TT: Oh, I do hope so. Perhaps we can read some of the same fics and analyze their romantic overtones for old times sake?  
CG: AS TEMPTING AS THAT OFFER TO WALK DOWN MEMORY LANE WITH YOU MIGHT BE, THERE’S NO WAY IN FRESH FUCK I’M DOING IT WHEN THE LANE IS LINED WITH TENTA DICKS.  
TT: You’re right, that sounds more like a walk Dave would be inclined to take with you.  
CG: THAT’S IT. THIS CONVERSATION IS OFFICIALLY FUCKING OVER NOW.  
CG: IT’S TIME FOR ME TO GET BACK TO EDITING THIS ABHORRENT SHIT PILE YOU CALL A BOOK ANYWAY.  
TT: Indeed. One quick question before you go, if you don’t mind?  
CG: WHAT IS IT?  
TT: Tentacle dicks aside, what do you think of the book so far?  
CG: YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW THAT I WOULDN’T CALL JUST ANY BOOK AN ABHORRENT SHIT PILE, LALONDE.  
TT: Touché. I trust you’ve enjoyed it then?  
CG: YEAH. HONESTLY, I THINK IT’S YOUR BEST BOOK YET.  
TT: Thank you, Karkat. I hope you know how much I value your opinion, both as my editor and as my friend/practically brother in-law.  
CG: YEAH, YEAH. TELL KANAYA I SAID HI.  
TT: I will, say hello to both of my brothers for me as well.  
CG: YEP. I’LL TALK TO YOU LATER.  
TT: Farewell.  


carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering  tentacleTherapist [TT]

You set your phone back on the nightstand and get back to editing Lalonde’s newest book. Editing may have its ups and downs but one thing is for sure: editing for Rose fucking Lalonde is  _ never _ boring.

You adjust your legs and Dave, who is sprawled across the bed with his legs draped over yours, grunts in response, apparently not pleased with the movement. ‘ _ God he’s such a fucking baby _ ,’ you think affectionately. An amazing, adorable baby who you’re ridiculously in love with, but a baby nonetheless.

You reach out a hand and begin to lightly rub his shirtless back to make up for ‘inconveniencing’ him with your movement. You may think he’s a ridiculous child but you still like to do everything you can to make him happy, even it’s something as simple as rubbing his back. If anyone deserves to be spoiled, it’s Dave. At least in your opinion, anyway.

“Mmmm,” he says, moving closer just a bit to press his back further into your hand. “Feels amazing, man. Don’t ever stop. Seriously, rubbing me is your new profession. You’re just gonna have to tell Rose to fuck off and that she’ll have to find a new editor.”

“You really want to incur Lalonde’s wrath by stealing the best fucking editor this world has ever seen? She’ll never fucking find someone even close to being as great as I am.”

“That’s true, babe,” he says and turns his head slightly around so that he can smile at you. Even though you’re (mostly) joking about how good you are, you know that Dave believes that one hundred percent and he never misses an opportunity to let you know how amazing he thinks you are. Love is blind and all that bullshit.

“But,” he continues saying, “I’d be giving Rose a whole new reason to snark at me so it’s almost like I’d be doing her a favor, right? Right. So, it’s final, your new full-time job is rubbing my back, anytime I want, which is all the fucking time, dude.”

“Alright, I agree with the part about Lalonde secretly being thrilled about having fresh ammo to bitch at you about but that would also mean I’d have to deal with an angry Kanaya calling me because my boyfriend pissed her wife off  _ again _ . Do you really want to put me through that, Dave?”

He flips onto his back so that he can look at you and you rest your hand against his stomach, your fingers lightly brushing against the thin trail of hair that he has there. “Alright babe, I guess for your sake, and your sake only, I’ll let Rose keep her editor… buuuuut if you’re ever in need of a new job hit me up, ‘kay?”

“You’re such an idiot,” you tell him, not even attempting to mask the affection in your voice. “I rub you more than what’s probably feasibly acceptable for anyone to rub their boyfriend  _ and _ I do it for  _ free, _ so I don’t even know why you’d need to hire me.”

“‘Cuz, babe, your touch is so  _ magical _ it seems like I should be paying for it.”

“Now I  _ know _ you’re just being a facetious asshole,” you grump at him, enjoying the easy back and forth that’s such a fundamental part of your relationship.

“No dude, I’m serious. Your touch is so magical it sets my heart all aflutter and I know you’ve seen the things it does to my dic-“ 

“DON’T,” you yell, cutting him off, “don’t you  _ dare _ finish that thought.”

“Dude, I’m just trying to pay you a compliment _. _ ” He pouts, giving you his best innocent look. You’re not fooled.

“Yeah and I know where compliments like that lead, asshole.”

“I’m not seeing a problem here,” he grins and waggles his eyebrows at you.

“God dammit, put those the fuck away,” you say, indicating his still waggling brows. “We’ve already fooled around this morning and I have to get these next couple chapters done today or Lalonde really will start looking for a new editor,” you tell him although you’d be lying if you said you weren’t tempted to take him up on his offer. 

Even after ten years you’re still _unfathomably_ turned on by just about any and all things Dave Strider. You let your fingers drift a little closer to the waistband of the pajama pants he’s wearing so he knows that you’re on board, if he _really_ does want to go for another round.

He flashes you one of his signature cocky grins and grabs your hand right before it dips the rest of the way into his pants. He sits up some, propping himself up on one elbow and presses the palm of your hand to his lips, holding eye contact with you as he kisses it.

“Nah, babe,” he says, moving your hand from his lips and back to his stomach. “Finish your work first. Imma need your full attention for what I have planned.”

“Oh yeah?” You ask with a snort. “Sounds like it might be worth setting my work aside for a while then.”

“Fuck yeah dude, but I don’t wanna chance any thoughts of Rose invading our sexy time either, soooo…”

“Oh my fucking god, Dave! You just ruined any semblance of a fucking mood we had going here, so now I don’t even have a choice but to finish my god damn work.”

“I’ll make it up to you later, Babekat,” he promises with another cocky grin and a wink. “Imma sex you up  _ so good _ , you’ll be crying into the sheets afterwards.”

“Do I really need to remind you that I’m the only remaining member of this relationship that hasn’t cried after sex?”

“Shhh, that was one time and we’re not supposed to  _ ever _ talk about that, ‘kat,” he tells you and you can’t help but smile when his face turns slightly red. “Besides, that just means you’re long overdue for a good post-sex cry, dude.”

You consider his words for a moment before you nod your head and respond. “Okay, fine. But if I’m not crying by the end then you have to do laundry and dishes, by  _ yourself, _ for a week and you can’t pay Dirk to do them either.”

“That’s harsh, Babykat,” he says, making a slight face of disapproval, “but I’ll take that bet. Guaranteed you’re finally going to be using that box of tissues on your nightstand for what they’re intended for,” he finishes, waggling his fucking eyebrows at you again.

“You’re fucking disgusting, Dave. The main thing we use those fucking tissues for is wiping the vomit inducing Dorito cheese from your absolutely repulsive fucking fingers.”

He smirks at you and holds up his left hand which is currently covered in said Dorito cheese since he’s been munching on a bag of them all morning.  You stick out your tongue in disgust and grab a few tissues from the nightstand and whip them at his face. He, of course, ignores them and starts sucking his fingers clean instead.

“Turned on yet, babe?”

“I’m so fucking far from turned on that my dick might actually retreat into my body. Great job! Any lingering desire I might have had left after your mention of Rose earlier has now been  _ officially killed. _ As per usual, you’ve completely and unequivocally ruined the mood, Dave.”

“Hey, at least I’m consistent, right?”

“Yeah, at least,” you say with a snort. “FYI if I do end up crying later it will only be because I’ll be self-flagellating myself for somehow still being in love with a complete idiot.”

“It’s not your fault though, Sexykat. I lured you with my sweet, sweet ass and once you’re in, there’s no escaping from my charms.”

“That’s...” you start to say but change your mind. “Actually, you know what? No. I’m not getting sucked into another conversation about asses or dicks. Between you and Rose, I’m at my fucking limit for the day.”

“You were talking about asses and dicks with Rose?” he asks because  _ of course _ that’s what he focuses on.

“Dicks, but trust me, you  _ do not _ want to fucking know. Now,  _ seriously, _ can you please let me get the fuck back to work? Don’t you have some trolling to do on one of your awful fucking websites or something?”

“Yeah, I do actually but real quick, I gotta fucking show you these, man,” he says reaching and grabbing his phone from where it’s lying on the bed next to him. 

He unlocks it and pulls up something on it before he turns it around and proudly shows you what he’s talking about. “They fucking made Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff body pillows, dude. I’m buying everyone a set for Christmas this year.”

“Those are the vilest fucking things I’ve every fucking seen, Strider and considering that I had to read about tentacle dicks this morning so that’s  _ really _ fucking saying something.”

“Tentacle dicks? I’m assuming that came from Rose?”

“Who else? So, as much as I fucking hate those pillows, make sure you buy Rose at least ten of them for Christmas and make  _ sure _ she knows they came from  _ me.” _

“Haha, hell yeah dude. I’m gonna order them right now.”

Dave smiles at you once more before he flips back over to lay on his side and you can see over his shoulder that he is, in fact, placing an order for those stupid pillows. You’ll never understand how that ridiculous comic of his got so popular, but it makes Dave happy, so you don’t question it too much.

Almost immediately he starts eating his Doritos again and you roll your eyes even though he can’t see it. You tried to get him to give up eating in the bed and also to get rid of his stash of snacks underneath the bed, and it had worked for a while. 

Then about a three or so years ago, Dirk, who had become super health conscious after everything he had learned from Ms. Harley, had asked both of you to start eating healthier too. You had both agreed because neither of you could ever really say no to Dirk, especially when it was something he was super interested in.

You don’t think Dave quite realized what he was agreeing too though because Dirk completely purged the house of all junk food after that and you had to listen to Dave’s bitching and moaning for almost an entire two weeks before his stash appeared back under the bed. You had bitched and moaned at him for an equal length of time before you had both come to a compromise: Dave could keep the junk food if he agreed to change the sheets and vacuum, every fucking day. The two of you own a ridiculous amount of bed sheets but you guess that there’s really not much the two of you do that isn’t ridiculous as all fuck, so oh well.

Dave makes a small noise and scoots back closer to you again and you roll your eyes and smile to yourself as you do exactly as he wants. You stare at him for a few minutes as you glide your hand up and down his freckled back, appreciating his strong shoulders and the corded muscle that’s clearly there even though he’s maintained his leanness through the years. 

He still has his scars of course, even if they have faded a bit with time. As he lays there completely relaxed with his back exposed and bare and enjoying the small massage you’re giving him, you can’t help but become reflective over the difference the past ten years has made.

Even in the beginning of your relationship he had still been so ashamed of his scars and you had discovered early on that even though his back had the highest concentration of them, they were scattered over the rest of his body as well. It took him a long time not to cringe whenever they were exposed, and you can’t help but feel proud of Dave as he lays before you now, completely confident and comfortable in his body and in you.

You still feel the same hatred bubble inside of you when you think of his childhood and his father, although it doesn’t burn  _ quite as hot _ as it used to. Although, you’re pretty sure that’s only because Bro is out of the picture and you never have to worry about him ever coming back.

After the custody case, Bro  _ did _ end up being been charged with assaulting an officer and when his case had gone to trial he was found guilty. He was only given nine months jail time and a hefty fine but apparently he pissed off some leader of a gang called the Midnight Crew or some shit like that. He was only a month into his sentence when he had been found dead in the showers from an apparent stab wound to the chest.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t happy about his death. The year between the time he was charged and actually went to jail was such a stressful and worrisome time for you and Dave. There was always the ever-looming threat that Bro might come and try to hurt Dave or Dirk or even appeal the court’s decision to try to win custody again. 

You kept your feelings about his death to yourself though, your only concern was being there for Dave and Dirk in any way that they needed you. Dirk didn’t seem that affected by it but at his age you’re not sure if he completely understood what happened, not to mention the fact that his only memories of Bro were bad ones.

The night Dave had received the call about Bro’s death, he had laid in your arms, silent but awake, the entire night. You didn’t press him for answers but a few days later he told you that the only thing he felt was relief. He never had to worry about Bro coming after him or trying to take Dirk again and you think that was the turning point of when he really began to heal from the trauma of his past.

It turned out that Bro hadn’t left a will and because Dave was his next of kin, he was set to inherit Bro’s fortune. Although you weren’t necessarily happy about it at that time, Dave had refused the money and it had ended up being bequeathed to Rose instead.

Even though he had refused the money, he never questioned Rose when she paid off the rest of his tuition and set up college funds for Dirk, Roxy and even Jane and Jake as well. She always made sure everyone was taken care of, friends and family alike, and it was nice not having to worry about money, even if it did come from a shitty source. The way you figured it though, the Strilonde kids  _ deserved _ every fucking cent of that money for all the bullshit trauma their parents put them through.

She also used the money to self-publish her first book and when Dave’s webcomic took off, it was Rose who funded all the necessary marketing for it. You’re still shocked at the success both of their endeavors have had so far. Dave just recently got an offer to turn SB&HJ into a movie and you’re currently editing Rose’s  _ third fucking book. _ You don’t think this is the life any of you had envisioned for yourselves, but you also don’t think any of you are complaining either.

You, Dave and Dirk had moved to New York to be closer to Rose and Roxy soon after you had both graduated college. It had been a difficult decision to make at the time because it had meant leaving Ms. Harley behind, who obviously wanted to stay close to her son and grandkids. Ultimately, she was the one who encouraged the move with the mutual condition of coming to visit each other at least twice a year. So far, everyone’s held up their end of the bargain.

The move had been good for Dirk and Roxy, since they were now close enough to grow up together. To no one’s surprise, they’ve stayed close even as they’ve gotten older. Their friendships with Jane and Jake grew and strengthened as well and you can’t help but smile when you think about how the four little kids who used to be at war with each other grew up to be such great friends.

A knock at the bedroom door pulls you from your memories and you have to stifle a laugh as Dave quickly shovels a handful of Doritos into his mouth before shoving the bag under his pillow because obviously Dirk is the one who is knocking.

“Come in,” you yell and Dave glares at you as he frantically tries to finish chewing his chips. He barely manages to swallow as Dirk opens the door and comes into yours and Dave’s room.

“Hey,” he greets the both of you and you notice that he’s holding a large envelope. Before either of you can reply he keeps talking. “I got in.”

“Which one?” you ask, already knowing what he’s talking about.

“Carnegie Mellon,” he says, grinning.

You set your laptop aside and get up from the bed and go straight to him, bringing him in for a hug.

“I’m so fucking proud of you, Dirk,” you tell him and you can feel the tears already prickling at your eyes. This was Dirk’s dream school due to their top-notch robotics program and even though you had no doubts he would be accepted, you’re still relieved as fuck that he got in.

“I’m the youngest person to ever be accepted into the program,” he tells you and you squeeze him a little harder.

“They’d have been idiots not to accept you,” you say as you pull away and look up at him. Even though he’s not even sixteen yet, Dirk’s already a few inches taller than his brother, much to Dave’s dismay and your amusement. He smiles back at you, his amber eyes glowing with all the warmth and kindness that Bro’s had been lacking.

Dave gets up from the bed and throws his shirt back on, wiping his gross hands on his pajama pants, as he comes over to congratulate Dirk as well.

“Hell yeah, dude,” he says as he comes up to Dirk and the two of them share a fist bump before Dave pulls him in for a hug. “Proud of ya, bro.”

“Couldn’t’ve done it without you and Karkat, dude,” Dirk says back, both of them sharing a rare moment of sincerity. Dirk had of course emulated everything about Dave as he grew up, including his penchant for bullshit irony. It had made for many ridiculous and entertaining memories but it’s moment like this, when they’re both being real, that you cherish the most.

“I gotta go let everyone else know,” Dirk says when he and Dave finally break their hug. Dave ruffles Dirk’s hair and even though it’s just the three of you there, Dirk frantically tries to fix it as he looks in the mirror on the dresser.

“Fuck yeah, dude. Shout that shit from the rooftops if you want. Actually, don’t. I wanna do it with you,” Dave tells him.

“Alright,” Dirk agrees, meeting Dave’s eyes in the mirror, “We can do it later, right after I’m done clearing out the junk food stash I know you’re hiding in here, bro.”

“God dammit.” 

The guilty look on Dave’s face is priceless and you love how even though Dave had to basically assume the role of Dirk’s dad, the two of them still manage maintain their brotherly relationship as well.

“Make sure you call Ms. J first,” you tell Dirk as he begins to head out of the room.

“I will,” he yells over his shoulder, already halfway down the hall

“You know he’s still going to call Jake first, right?” Dave asks as he goes and closes and locks the door after Dirk. 

“Yeah, I know, but at least now he’ll feel guilty about it,” you say with a small smile as you go over to the mirror and wipe at the tears that fell as Dirk made his announcement. Dave walks to the bed and grabs one of the tissues that he never used and brings it over to you.

“Our little baby’s all grown up,” he says softly as he steps up behind you and wraps his arms around you for a hug.

“It went by too fast,” you say and use the tissue to clear away the new tears that start to fall.

“Yeah. It really did,” Dave agrees, quietly reflective for a moment. You lean your weight back against him and grip his arm with one of your hands. Both of you letting it sink in that Dirk going to college is an  _ actual thing _ that’s going to happen next fall.

“We did good though,” Dave whispers against your ear before pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“Fuck yes we did,” you agree wholeheartedly, squeezing his arm. “I guess now that I don’t need to stick around to make sure you don’t fuck up raising him, I can finally trade you in for a younger model,” you joke, smiling at him in the mirror.

“Fuck you, dude. You’re like six months older than me.”

“Yeah, see? Even more reason for me to dump your ass now, I’m going to be old and decrepit soon.”

“Oh no. No, dude,” he says and starts walking backwards toward the bed, pulling you along with him. “You’ve sexed me up. We are in  _ the shit _ now. Together, for the loooong haul.”

The back of his knees hit the bed as he finishes talking and he flips the two of you around and gently pushes you onto the bed, pressing his body to yours, holding himself up only by his arms as he looks down at you.

“What the fuck are you even talking about, Dave?!” you laugh, amused at the pure ridiculousness of him.

“You and me.  We’re motherfucking entrenched in this bitch. Welcome to Nam,” he says, laughing along with you at this point.

“I  _ really am _ going to leave your ass if you don’t stop.”

“Then you better grab my dick and shimmy your choice ass off that muddy bank before Charlie gets the fucking drop.”

“DAVE! I swear to fucking god if you-- wait. Who’s Charlie? Should I be concerned?” you ask, barely containing your smile as you try to actually look worried.

“Nah, dude. He’s the guy that’s going to read our vows. I’m feeling pretty friggin  _ matrimonial _ all a sudden.”

He gives you one of his best fucking smiles but you can’t help it when your face falls for real this time. You roll out from under him and sit on the edge of the bed. You and Dave had decided early on in your relationship that marriage wasn’t something either of you wanted or needed. But… the hopeless romantic in you still can’t help but feel sad at the prospect of never getting married. It’s a taboo subject for you and considering Dave’s never brought it up before, you just thought he fucking  _ knew _ . Fuck.

“Babe?” he questions gently as he moves so that he’s sitting behind you on the bed. You feel his hand lightly squeeze your upper arm. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine. It’s just me being stupid,” you tell him.

“No. Fuck that. If it upset you then it’s not stupid, we’ve talked about this before.”

“Yeah,” you agree, hating this stupid dance you still fall back to sometimes. “It’s just… it felt weird when you mentioned marriage. I mean I know we agreed that it’s not for us and I’m still okay with that! I am! It’s just startled me when you said it,” you explain, hoping he’ll understand.

“What if I was serious?” he asks, and you whip around so that you can look at him. Unfortunately, you didn’t realize how close his face was to you and you end up busting your head into his nose. Oops.

“Fuck!” he says, touching his nose severally times to check for blood, which thankfully there’s none.

“Sorry, honey,” you tell him because you really do feel bad, but you only spare his nose a moment of concern because there’s much more important shit at hand right now. “What do mean ‘ _ what if I were serious’ _ ? I don’t need your hypothetical bullshit or some pity fucking proposal because I overreacted for a minute. We’ve been together long enough that you should fucking know by now that I overreact about  _ everything _ , Dave! Now can we just forget about this whole fucking conversation,  _ please?” _

“Babe,” he says, reaching out to cup your cheek with his hand. “I swear to god you are the most obtuse windbag that’s ever existed, second maybe only to me. We’ve been together long enough that you should fucking know by now that marriage isn’t something I would joke about, bro.”

“Fuck you. Marriage is exactly something you would joke about,” you snap back at him, unsure of where he’s going with this.

“Okay, that’s probably true but this time I  _ swear _ I’m not joking.”

“So, what are you are saying then?”

“I’m saying,” he begins and pauses as he scrambles over to his side of the bed and opens the drawer of his night stand. He pulls something out and comes around the side of the bed and kneels down on one knee once he’s in front of you. “Will you marry, dude?”

He opens the box and sure enough it’s a fucking  _ beautiful _ silver engagement band. You stare at him dumbly, your brain not processing shit, as he pulls the ring from the box and grabs your left hand to put the ring on. You brain finally kicks back into motion and the first thing you do is panic, smacking Dave’s hand away from you and sending the ring flying across the room.

“Dude!” He exclaims, “what the fuck are you doing?”

“Me???!! What the fuck are  _ you _ doing?” you demand.

“Uh. Trying to propose to you, man,” he says, clearly confused.

“Why???”

“Dude, because I love you. I thought that was kind of obvious here…”

“Okay… but you’ve loved me for  _ over ten years now _ so why are you suddenly proposing?”

“Uh... I just... I mean… I’ve been thinkin’ about it for a while now, probably since like, Rose and Kanaya’s wedding, I think, and I mean I know it’s not something we  _ need _ to do, I mean shit dude, our love’s more real than Kraft Mayo, but I just thought it would be like hella fuckin’ cool and shit to have a whole day dedicated to celebrating  _ our love _ and uh, I thought it would be kinda rad to call you my husband and all that but I mean if you’re not into that dude, it’s one hundred percent okay.”

He’s still kneeling in front of you and you get up from the bed and walk past him to get the ring from where it rolled when you smacked it from his hand. Calmly, you return to the bed and sit back down in front of him and hand him back the ring.

“This is probably going to go down in history as  _ the least _ romantic proposal ever,” you say.

“Oh. Did you want me to try again?” he asks, still looking slightly confused.

“No. I thought it was pretty fucking perfect the way it was. Fuck what everyone else might think,” you tell him, giving him a wide smile that he returns.

“So, you’ll marry me?”

“Of course, dumbass. Fuck, Roxy's been planning our wedding for over 10 years now, we can't disappoint her,” you say and hold out your hand so he can place the ring on you.

He laughs and does just that, placing both of his hands on your thighs and pulling himself up to kiss you once the ring is firmly placed on your finger. When he realizes you’re crying, he kisses the tears from your cheeks and it’s not long before the two of you are lost in the passion of one another, conveying your love for one another in your favorite way.

An hour or so later, long after you finished making love, you’re still lying atop Dave, sharing kisses and ‘ _ I love yous’  _ as you bask in the euphoria of the day.

“So, when do you think we should tell everyone?” Dave asks, finally breaking the post-sex bubble you’d been in.  

“I’m not sure. Maybe we should wait a week or two, so we don’t ruin Dirk’s excitement over getting into Carnegie Mellon,” you offer and Dave nods his head in agreement.

“Do you have a date you want to get married on?” he asks.

“Not really. Do you?”

“I was thinking maybe September first since that’s the day we were assigned as partners.”

“Are you talking about our English 101 project?”

“Hell yeah, dude. It was fucking fate that we were paired up, don’t you think?”

You rise up on your elbows and stare fondly down at him. “I can’t fucking believe you remember that date, you sap.”

“Yeah, do you like that idea though?”

“I think it’s perfect,” you say and lean down to kiss him again. “I have one condition about our wedding though.”

“What is it?”

“I’m in charge of the wedding planning. I’m not getting married at some irony, bullshit laced ceremony. I’ll let you choose some of the music but that’s fucking it,” you tell him and you can see him contemplating your terms.

“Hmm, that’s fine but… I have one condition of my own.”

“Oh god, what is it?” you ask, bracing yourself because you have no idea what it could be.

“You  _ have _ to wear a sweater vest for the ceremony,” he says, completely dead panned.

“No. Absolutely fucking  _ not.” _

“Babe, please,” he laughs, giving up his façade.

“No, I’m  _ not  _ being the fucking laughing stock at my own damn wedding.”

“You won’t! I swear dude, you look fucking hot in sweater vests.”

“I’m not wearing one at our wedding, Dave. I’m  _ completely _ fucking serious,” you say glaring down at him.

“Fiiiiiiine,” he whines. “Will you  _ at least  _ wear one for our wedding pictures?”

“I fucking guess,” you say with a dramatic sigh and Dave beams at you.

You lay your head back down on his chest again and he rubs his hands lightly up and down your sides.

“I won the bet, by the way,” he says after a few minutes.

“What bet?”

“That you would cry during sex.”

“Bullshit! The bet was that I would cry  _ after _ we had sex because you were just that fucking good, not that I would cry  _ before _ because of a totally unrelated topic,” you argue.

“Okay, well it’s not my fault my original plan got ruined. I still won the bet by default.”

“Wait. Don’t tell me that your original plan was to propose to me  _ after _ we fucked?”

“Uh, yeah, something like that.”

“Okay, I take back my earlier statement,  _ that _ would have been the most unromantic proposal ever.”

“Whatever dude. You still would have cried.”

“Maybe, but you still lost the bet. Laundry and dishes, by yourself, for a week.”

“Rude. You act like you didn’t just get proposed to followed by some thorough fuckin’ lovin.”

“A bet’s a bet, Dave.”

“ _ Ruthless _ ,” he says but hugs you closer against his chest. “Can I  _ at least _ bribe Dirk to do half of it for me since I won’t be able to anymore once he goes of to college?”

“That’s an unfair play on my emotions but yes, you can bribe him, but it  _ better _ only be for  _ half _ the chores.”

“Deal,” he agrees and you both fall silent again.

“I love you, Hubbykat.”

“I love you too, Dave but  _ please  _ tell me that’s not going to be my new nickname.”

“Oh, it  _ sooo _ fucking is.”

“God dammit. Is it too late for me to back out of this agreement?”

“You bet your sweet ass it’s too late, Hubbykat. You’re stuck with me forever now.”

“Hhmmm, I guess I’m okay with that,” you say, grinning against his chest. “I guess I really wasn’t kidding all those years ago when I said I like to keep myself in a constant state of unbridled misery, huh?”

“Hey, my only purpose in life is to please you, Loveofmylifekat.”

You laugh and reach up to kiss him again. “I think I might actually like that nickname.”

“It is a good one,” he agrees, smiling up at you as he runs a hand through your hair.

“I love you, Dave.”

“I love you too, Karkat.”

You don’t care what anyone says, your life with Dave fucking Strider is the fairytale ending you always dreamed of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to take a moment and say the biggest fucking THANK YOU ever to all of my readers! You guys freakin' rock and made this such an awesome experience, no joke. I appreciated every hit, kudos, message, fan art, etc. sooooo damn much! you guys have no idea how much all that meant to me! Y'all seriously are the best <3 <3 <3  
> Also, I want to say another thank you to [Nomi](http://nomisupernova.tumblr.com/) for being such an amazing editor, I hope you know how much I appreciate you dude ;)  
> I can't believe this is actually the end of this (well sorta cuz the side fic that's coming) This has practically been my life for 7 months lol  
> Oh and if any of you were expecting a reunion with little Dirk this chapter I just want to let you know that will be included in the side chapters =) 
> 
> Hope everyone has a happy 4/13!!!!


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